New Friends

Last night I joined a conversational Welsh class in the next village
Bugger alone knows why, as I can't speak Welsh properly at all.....but at least it's a beginners class
And I've always wanted to do it properly
There was  seven people in the group... I was the second only man there

At the " coffee and biscuit" break the only other bloke introduced himself
He's retired married, gay and comfortably friendly.
I told him immediately that I was separated
" I think you need a friend " he quipped after a time,  but I know that  he meant it,
And we shuffled over coffee cups
" my name is Jonathan !"  he said
" John" I told him
And we bumped cups
I've found a friend

Thank You Again

As Mary sunbathes in the living room window ( she has been watching the ponies come to the fence ..look hard and you can see them)  I thought I'd drop a few more thank you's for sponsoring me on the zip wire challenge 

Not only has the main total increased to nearly 3500£ ( with gift aid donations ) I have recieved several donations of cash and cheques through the post . The postal donations with accompanying addresses will be thanked directly from our Sams treasurer 

It's a wonderful thing that you all have been doing

So, here are the latest thank you's!!!!
Shirley, bad penny, dear Ilona, Ben , Heather, Helen B,and Karen thank you

The donation link is

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1

Ohh errr

In Choir tonight one of the sopranos kept smiling at me as we belted out a Swahili folk song
At half time she galloped over to hold my hand
" Youwont remember me " she cooed " But the last time I saw you ,I was naked and you put a pillow between my knees"
There was a brief silence
As our camp choirmaster fixed me with a confused stare

I'd nursed the woman on intensive care three years ago.

At The Kitchen Table

Albert has been driven from next door's back garden by the bantam cockerels who are just big enough  to stand up to him and has decided to sprawl himself in front of me as I list make at the kitchen table.
Trendy Carol sporting a loose ponytail curled over one shoulder has just had a word about coming with me to fat club. She doesn't need to go, but the company is always welcome,so Im looking for meeting that suits us both.
I know it's just a diversion, I've got much more important things to do.
Albert knows this.
He understands that I'm happy to be diverted today.
I have to sort some paperwork out for the part time job I hope to start in a month or so's time but I'm finding it a chore; the mark left by my wedding ring is haunting me somewhat and I'm struggling with the fact that I should now consider myself as single.
Two decades of feeling a part of something bigger than yourself is a hard concept to drop and let go of.......well for me it is this morning
All this is going around my head as I sit at the kitchen table
And an hour after I started I still have not completed the work form, instead I have rearranged the photos, etching and the framed fragment of ancient Kimono balanced on the radiator in front of me as Albert stretches his legs and yawns.

Joy

Mary and Liv

There hasn't been much joy here for a while now.
It was before Easter that things felt even normal .
Today a bit of joy was felt at the cottage as the Randa girls came around to complete their chores.
Jobs I had paid into their holiday fund a week or two ago.

Eve and liv with William

First they bathed tired, sore old  William in a warm bath all of his own.
Carefully they rubbed and washed him as he closed his eyes in pure bliss and I could hear them whisper to each other to " mind his bad eye !" When they poured warm water over his head
After he was lifted out, they showered him with towels and kisses which of course he adored
Then it was off to the next job after they scrubbed the bath clean of dog.

They prepared the dogs' dinners and brushed Winnie free of dead hair until she collapsed with one of her most tempestuous orgasms before feeding the ponies and filling the water butts.
It didn't take long
But it was sweet as sweet could be hearing them chatter and laugh
As the dogs galloped around like loons

disappointment

Yesterday I had an on line conversation with a former workmate who is catholic.
I asked him why he thought that the crowds celebrating the arrival of Pope Francis in Phoenix Park in Dublin were a fifth of the expected size
I expected a comment about public disillusionment with the way historic sex abuse cases were ignored and buried. I thought that trust and pride and that unshakable faith Catholicism demands of its followers has now been challenged and damaged by the public need for decency and the pragmatism of gay marriage and abortion law review.
But my friend summed up what he felt about the Catholic Church
" I'm disappointed in it " he said

Disappointment is, I think , such an underused and underestimated put down. Being disappointed in an institution or a person has a power all of it's own.
It feels quiet and dignified, but it is an insult that can wound so very much as it brings alongside it a loss of respect, trust and and sense that you expected so much better from something or someone

.
Disappointment seems much more powerful a feeling than anger or shame

The Children Act

It's been a nice afternoon. Cinema on a rainy Sunday followed by a nice Caesar salad....very civilised

We went to see The Children Act 

Not an easy or indeed enjoyable film to watch, but one that certainly had the conversation flowing over some chicken and shredded lettuce !

The film follows workaholic High Court Children Case Judge Fiona Maye ( Emma Thompson) as she faces the dilemma of a hospital wanting to transfuse blood to a boy of seventeen who is a devout Jehovah's Witness. Legally the boy (Fion Whitehead) should be treated as a child incapable of giving consent, but Maye caught up in the repressed emotional stress of her failing marriage , chooses to visit the boy in hospital to explore his thoughts and feelings about his condition, a decision which gets more complicated and messy as the meeting has a profound effect on everyone involved.

As a nurse I could see the holes in much of Ian McEwan's storyline and the film does veer from  being a fascinating glimpse into courtroom etiquette one moment and a daily unbelievable legal/ relationship drama the next.
Having said this, Emma Thompson pitches her performance just right. She is a focused, career woman who is certain of every fact in her possession . She is quick thinking, unsentimental and clear cut, so from the get go, the audience sympathy lies with her husband Jack ( Stanley Tucci) who offers affectionate meals out together and a shared bottle of wine only to have his overtures rejected
In one telling scene Fiona , explains to him that in one of her cases one conjoined twin's heart beats for both babies' survival . A clear metaphor for the state of her marriage

Maye's character is not easy, she has no banter with her devoted bland court clerk ( Jason Watkins), and she is so controlled it's almost infuriating to watch her stalk through her beautiful apartment ( to die for) where she plays her grand piano in a friendless, work orientated existence .
But the film is more an interesting study of her driven complex character, rather than a debate of the rights or wrongs of Jehovah Witness beliefs
6/10

What Are You Doing This Weekend?

We walked a 10 miles round trip to watch the show

Bank holiday weekends can be hell when you are on your own
Been to the " Book Swap " at the village hall
Came away 5£ lighter, two books heavier but did have one of Bridget's " fat bastard "scones ( which rival Auntie Glad's, they really do)
And got a big hug from the velvet voiced Linda from Well Street who I think adores me.
Tomorrow my sister in law and I are going out to lunch then to see the acclaimed The Children's Act 
And this afternoon Mary and I are going to walk from Prestatyn to Rhyl to watch the start of the Air Show