I Want


After a 6 am walk ! The dogs and I went back to bed.
I dreamed an odd dream about having a new bath tub fitted and woke up all upset that it wasn't true
It was one of those bloody lovely vintage round topped tubs that seem so common in America.
I've always wanted one.

Before I summoned the energy to drag my carcass out of bed, I played one of those little mind games people play when putting off the inevitable .
What ten things would I ask for if I had the chance.
Nothing too big, nothing greedy.
But, ten arbitrary things that would make me squeal with delight.

1.  Well number one is the bath.An American , deco ( ish) bath with a gentle curved top.
2.  The kitchen cabinets from Mrs Miniver's kitchen
3.  A "new"enamel cooking pan to replace my old one which was thrown out recently
4.  A patchwork quilt
5.  My 34 inch waistline
6.  A dog sink
7.  A posh ink pen
8.  A one off trip to comic con to meet the cast of The Walking Dead
9.  Calorie free scotch eggs ( unlimited supply)
10  A1940 cinematic housekeeper.


A lesson in show stealing


I know we were just chatting about drag queen names
( am loving your suggestions btw)
But this short video has just been emailed to me
It shows Gladys (" i'm not saying anything at the show") Jones
effectively stealing the show by giving her own brief speech..
I'd wish I'd given her the mike


What's Your Drag Queen Name?


An occasional guilty pleasure in Bwthyn Y Llan is the screamingly over-the-top RuPaul's Drag Race.
Now, for those that don't know, DragRace is basically a foul mouthed, alternative beauty contest where 14 dragqueens sashay, scream and bicker for a top spot in front of the stunningly diva judge RuPaul. 
It's all terribly loud, contrived, bitchy and full of those sassy stereotypical one liners that Terence Stamp out of Priscilla would be proud of.
Yes all incredible fun!


The queens' drag names are just as entertaining as the frocks
Jiggly Caliente, Pandora Boxx, Jinx Monsoon, Sharon Needles Laganja Estranja and Ginger Minj are just a few of the ladies giving it large !

What would your drag name be?
I asked my friend Nigel this question once and without a pause he said Gloria Abyss
Good answer!
So what is your drag name ?
Answers on a postcard! 

Boys Will Be Boys

It's a long time since I was an adolescent .
But I still recognise teenage behaviour when I see it!
The three abandoned juvenile bantam cockerels have now set up a bachelor pad in hut 4 in the Ukrainian Village.
They spend most of their time mooching around on the street corners eyeing up the bigger girls with the false look and  swagger of boys that had never touched a female breast .
From time to time one of the hens will tire of their chirpy energy and will strut over to where the boys are chattering, sending the teens into a panicky mass of insecure hormones.
Chaos will then ensue, with awkward feathered feet galloping through the grass that needs a strim.
I need names for them....any ideas?

The boys don't know what to do with a real woman! 


What went wrong


  1. Auntie Glad cut up one of the exhibit cakes which had been placed in the kitchen for safety and distributed it for the refreshments! 
  2. Mrs Williams ( not her real name) who lives very near the hall spent the day muttering and yelling about the " inconsiderate parking" which galled me seeing that she was once the Flower Show Chairman and knows full well the amount of work that goes on setting up exhibits.
  3. Mr Rowlands ( our biggest vegetable exhibitor) broke down ( car not emotionally) before the show and missed the deadline for entries. He arrived an hour late, and through a bit of hysterical pleading ( on my part) we were able to get 6 out of his 20 exhibits placed and judged. Thought the man was going to have a stroke! 
  4. The winning chutney was in the wrong jar! 
  5. Through personal circumstances several of our domestic class and Veg entrants were unable to show this year which is a shame and pretty understandable but I was slightly miffed by a couple of no shows including one villager who, when seeing me in the pub after the show stated loudly that they hadn't got a decent thing in their garden to exhibit! ( not realizing that  had just gone past their house and had seen the beautiful display on offer! - attendence apathy does irritate me, but I guess it's as valid enough reason not to come as any other. 
  6. Real life sometimes gets in the way of this  chocolate box view I have of the world and it's good to be reminded of the fact sometimes. Teenage boffin, Cameron is having a bad time (with a  poorly grandmother) and I was glad to share some advice about nursing care with him as he checked on how his chutney got marked. Trelawnyd Val, I understand was having a hard time too, as The Flower Show was always loved by her partner Peter who died in the spring -this year's show must have held bittersweet memories for her.. We send her our love and best wishes.
  7. Although we made slightly more money this year than we did last, attendence was noticably down yesterday, which depressed me somewhat. I guess Flower Shows are a bit of a dinosaur nowadays......
  8. Hey ho 

And finally......

No more Flower Show talk for another year I promise
But I wanted to share this photo which was sent to me 
this evening,
It's Gladys' speech

Flower Show 2016

Thank you to our hard working committee
To the people that made the effort to enter and to visit the show
And to everyone who entered the international veg comp
We had a nice day xxxxxx
Gladys preparing the judges table
















































What are YOU doing this evening?


It's 22.32 pm on a Friday
I am 54 years old
What am I doing?
Making fucking art deco racing cars out of baby aubergines 
That's what I'm doing!