The Joy of Embarrassment

I love those little moments in life that shriek embarrassment!
Of course the "victim" must not be harmed unduly ( either physically or emotionally), but the dénouement of any such event must be punchy and totally unexpected.....if it is to amuse the watcher
Today I took Richard to the train station in Prestatyn. We were a little early, so decided to go for a coffee at the scala cinema and as we walked down the High Street, we spied a security van parked slightly skew wiff next to the bank.
A small crowd had gathered as the van's alarm was sounding ( It sang out a somewhat strange, slightly effeminate plea of "get help....get help!" and the  driver was stood unhappily  by the vehicle talking to two bored looking police women!
I stopped and asked an elderly man what was the matter and he laughed
"The stupid twat of a guard has locked himself inside the van and has been there for ages"


Like I said , I love little moments like these.....especially when they happen to someone else and not me........

A few years ago I was standing in the Nat West Bank in Rhyl, waiting for a till to become available. when I noticed my sister in law standing at the enquiry till.The bank was crowded and I was in a hurry so after I deposited my cheque , I sneaked up behind her and for some strange reason whacked her soundly on the arse with the flat of my hand..
The smack  made a resounding " TWACK" as hand came in contact with skirt covered bum  and I seemed to elicit a collective "oooooooohhhhh" from the crowd of customers a second before ( and yes you've guessed it) a woman that was NOT my sister in law yelled out at the top of her lungs
" what the f*ck?!!!!!!!"

I seem to spend my life doing things like this 
SEE MY MOST EMBARRASSING INCIDENT ( of all time) AT A PREVIOUS BLOG
http://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/2010/05/painfull.html

how embarrassing.

Just something to illustrate my next post

Hubble, bubble toil and trouble

Like three old witches we sat around the breakfast table slagging off the service given to us by the Chinese restaurant last night..  Soon ,Chris is taking his father to Church and then to the Red lion pub at nearby Llanasa (pic) for manly pint.....I will give the dogs a proper walk, prepare lunch then sneak off to bed....I am working tonight.

Constance (aka Frankie) has been with us a week now, and I am presently sat here, typing this blog whilst reviewing her "progress" with her plonked happily next to me on the couch.
It has been an easy week all told. She has proved herself to be a benign and affectionate despot, that demands very little in the way of time and effort. She is affectionate and eager to please and delights in rubbing her huge box like , dead pan face into yours  when you make a fuss of her.......it is an odd experience...as it is a bit like being sexually molested by a somewhat hairy Buster Keaton

The other dogs have accepted her but remain somewhat wary. Although clearly a dog, Her somewhat "plodding" personality and lazy behaviour has confused them I am sure. When she is challenged, for the best position on a couch or close position to Chris and I, Constance will roll her big sad eyes slowly and studiously ignore the situation . thus avoiding any conflict or aggression.
The terriers find all this passive inactivity confusing to say the least........but as an avoidance to fights, it seems to work very well indeed.
Right, enough already... I am off now to clean out the wood burner.......Chris and his dad are out.....just enough time to secretly cast my phone vote for Matt............I am a sad old git 

Is it me?

Now I was not too bothered about missing "My Matt" on x factor this evening.....I really dislike The Beatles  (it was a Beatle theme night) so even Matt, his slightly overlong vest and a load of ladies in pink lycra couldn't help "Come together!".......which is a great shame- I do hope he isn't kicked out tomorrow night...thank goodness I am working Night shift....I couldn't watch this wonderful example of Essex manhood getting knocked out of this all important tv game show !
This evening ,Chris and I took his father to the new Chinese Restaurant which has opened up in Prestatyn and to be fair the food was excellent!
Yes there is going to be a "but" inserted here......
BUT the service and the atmosphere however was awful.
Our 16 year old waitress left her thumb print in the duck pancakes before she put them down on the table and every time she cheerfully served us our next banquet course, her cardigan sleeves seemed to inch lower and lower towards our food!
The low point of the evening came when two young men walked into the restaurant and after buying two bottles of beer at the bar walked into the dining area to have an extensive stand up conversation with a couple who were sat down at the next table!
Is it me, but is this behaviour completely unacceptable?
What is the matter with people nowadays?
Aren't people taught the social graces anymore?
We soon paid the bill and as we were leaving, I grabbed the manager and told him in no uncertain words that I thought his acceptance of the "standing beer drinking visitors" was a big mistake!
If we wanted to eat in a pub, then we would have spent a load less money and would have done so!
He agreed in a slightly non assertive way and I flounced out with the moral high ground firmly fixed between my teeth......


I know I am a snob....and I do hate uncouth people

Olwena Hughes and Gwyneth Jones.

This video I think will be one of my favourite blog entries out of my entire 4 years of blogging.
In response to some of the requests to hear spoken Welsh from my last blog, I conscripted lifelong friends Olwena Hughes and Gwyneth Jones to give my non Welsh readers a bit of a Welsh treat.
The two ladies were going to discus yesterday's belly dance ( yes Belly dance) demonstration in the memorial Hall.( but were in fact chatting about the fall sustained by a 90 year old friend)
As a social document, I think It is priceless

Ydych chi'n teimlo'n well?

I slept long deeply last night and woke up blurry eyed with Meg practically sellotaped to my chest at 8am.
I feel a lot better today, slightly washed out but miles better and as I was returning to the cottage one old chap I know from the village stopped to ask me "Ydych chi'n teimlo'n well?" which is one of the few Welsh phrases I actually remember from my time at school...........He kindly asked me if I was feeling better.

Many of the older residents of the village still speak Welsh fluently, which I think is pretty normal for a rural Flintshire village. Generally given our proximity to the English border, the general percentages I guess are much lower than in the rural villages in the counties further West such as  Conwy and ,Gwynedd where up to 80% use Welsh as a first language.In intensive care where I work, out of a staff of around 60 (including 10 Filipino staff) around 12 speak Welsh fluently

The Welsh Assembly takes the survival of the Welsh language very seriously.....every official document, government leaflet and NHS circular has to duplicated, one version in English and the other in Welsh, which is of course, politically correct but also a terrible waste of resources and money..... sometimes the need to be seen to be fair goes a little too far......
I would like to refresh my Welsh just a little, even though it has been over 30 years since I could last hold a perfunctory conversation in fourth form. Alan,one of the nice chaps that helps out with the flower show is originally from Poland and I was impressed with the efforts he made with all of the older visitors to the show when he dropped in little phrases of Welsh chit chat here and there.
Sometimes all it takes is a little more effort to keep the basics going

But things generally are changing. Welsh as a language is dying out in Trelawnyd . Apparently the Male Voice  choir  has and handful of non Welsh speakers in their line up now, and the congregation in the totally Welsh chapel is down to a tiny trickle...... its a long long way from the turn of the century , when the school children at the village school were actively punished for speaking Welsh in front of their teachers

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Today Chris' father arrives from Kent for a visit. He is always an easy guest and will, I know, adore Frankie who has now completely settled into our routine in the cottage.
 
So I am just about to sort the cottage out for our guest, but I will leave you with a little observation I made this morning which related to the four remaining ghost hens.
Months ago these little shells of birds arrived on the field. They could not walk properly, they had never seen the sun before, they were mute, cowed, and sad looking animals without any personality and spark.
I stood and watched four very different animals this morning when I opened their coop. Four confident birds greeted the rain and gales. Alert and interested they bickered with each other like normal hens and bullied the three new Wellsomers as they fought over the best bits of corn .
I allowed myself a whole minute of pride when I watched them
My babies have grown up

frankie and the weather

Sorry to overshadow my previous "royal" blog entry but on impulse I used my knackered old camera to "video" the depressing weather
I must have a bug as I have felt nauseous off and on all day and had a hope I could lie on the couch in front of the fire feeling sorry for myself; but the fencing on the Church wall needed repairing, eggs needed to be delivered and Frankie needed toilet and road training ( she pees just once a day and is incredibly nervous of traffic) , so we have had to brave the gales to get things done.

"Gawd Bless 'em.....one and all"

I was up in the night suffering a bout of vomiting (I cannot actually remember the last time that happened)..so I feel a little washed out and wan this morning.....I have had to forgo my usual strong coffee for a cup of tea and with my new organic hot water bottle ( Constance) keeping my belly warm when I got up at 3am to lie on the couch. I do feel much better now.
Yesterday Nu rang me from London, all breathless and excited..... she knows that on the quiet I have always been a bit of a royalist and she had heard before I did that William is going to get married to the demure Kate Middleton in the new Year!!! Apparently the royal couple are going to be living near us, somewhere in North Wales ( William is serving at RAF Valley, which is on the Island of Angelsey- just down the coast) 

and Nu was tickled pink that I might be amused by the good news.
I am, in fact, quite amused.
I make no bones that I rather like the Royal Family. It is not a fashionable thing to be a Royalist in today's "angry" Britain but like my parents and grandparents before them, I have inherited a kind of respect for the tradition of Monarchy. 
I cannot be doing with the bleeding heart lefties that bang on about "fairness" and "costs" when referring to the wealth of the Royals......to me it is plain and simple....they are there by a simple accident of birth....just like I am and just like you are.....what right has anyone got to remove their wealth or privilege? No one has the right to remove mine! (if I had any that is)...
Ok the minor royals need to get their houses in order , I will concede that ( I suspect Buckingham Palace has already orchestrated this) but as for new generation post Charlie, all I have to say is good luck to them!!!
The Royal family, has just been re franchised