Bartomeu and Santa Tecia

Sitges wouldn't be Sitges if it wasn't for the Church of Saint Bartomeu and Santa Tecia.
I had a walk around it this morning and it's cool Baroque interior was a relief from the 32 degree heat outside.
It's been nice to amble. I've bought some books from a stall near the beach and some sort of chickpea dip,  bread and grapes for lunch.
I was given a cruising friendly nod and smile  by a big Scandinavian bear at breakfast
These are nice things to experience when sitting alone.

I am very mindful that a year ago, I was in Sitges but in a very different frame of mind.
It was a hard slog of a holiday where I was trying so hard to keep the grief of a broken relationship
under some sort of control and just walking around a place I knew so well as a couple was painfully melancholic .

Now I feel lighter.
Not whole again ( that will come when I start work and sort out the logistics of sorting a home out)
But certainly lighter.
It's been a tough year.
A crappy job, George and William, ill health, financial shocks, an emotional jacuzzi the size of one of Elton John's. strops , all have battered me down just as I pulled up one bra strap after another but with friends, family, bloggers, a touch of my grandmother's fortitude and a sense of humour which has slowly returned to its sarcastic best,
I do feel hopeful
Hopeful that the shit is, for the most part behind me

I am thinking all this as I sit in Church
Do gays have a patron Saint?
I wonder....anyhow I can hear the screams of the swifts as they circle us overhead and I remembered what I wrote about them last year when I visited

" ......it was sort of  nice to sit by the Church in the setting sun and watch a thousand swifts soar around it's bell towers like a giant swarm of friendly bees."

I still like the analogy 

Home

The green crocs have arrived
Within 3 minutes all is relaxation 

Shedding

Apparently there  is a "new" phenomenon around called shedding
This is where someone sees something that needs doing in their community and, well, just does it!
This sort of thing has been going on for years.....indeed village elder Islwyn, some ten years ago now , took it on himself to refashion, organise and upgrade the entirety of the new graveyard....a Herculean task in itself, and one he completed more or less single handed and in all weather.

Today, I had the nicer part of Shedding, as the weather is fine and the breeze on the village green just right in offsetting the humidity, I got stuck in with clearing weeds from the lavender path.
I noted a while ago that Bridget, (who runs the youth club ) had been planting out pots and borders on the green herself and as the weeds over the lavender had seriously got on my tits, I invested a hour to do something about them.
Not that I got much done.
Islwyn turned up with more stories in him than four editions of  Aesop's fables, and Jason, bored with his sore hand came over for a chat .
I told him I would photograph him looking glum but he moved over to the benches so I could photograph him looking heroically into the middle distance.

That Fat Bastard!

In Wales we have an excellent " GP Out Of Hours " facility.
When your own doctor 's surgery is closed then your ring the number, get triaged by a nurse advisor and if appropriate given an appointment with an out-of-hours GP based at the local A&E
I rang the system at 7pm. Was given an appointment at 8pm . I was seen at 8.01 and was home with my antibiotics by 8.20
I know I am a good historian . I had already tested my urine and knew I had the start of an infection.
I also told the doctor what antibiotic suited me best.
But still the service is a good one.
The only down side is the fact that the out-of-hours waiting room is shared with the minor injury department of A&E .
Tonight the average waiting time for that department is a whopping 7 hours!
I sat down in that shared waiting room for not even a minute until I was called in to see the doctor.
and it was too much for one poor soul who slapped his thigh in frustration
" Fucking hell that fat bastard has only just come in and he's been  seen straight away!!!!!! "

Ps. Speaking of health Jason is now home and hopefully improving. 
I saw him today . He was greatly moved by his global best wishes 

The Tea Caddy

I have worked shifts every holiday I have been given since the autumn and by doing so have paid for a short holiday outright. Every month I have squirrelled away some cash into the plain Regency tea caddy which sits on the mantle and today I will swap that cash for Euros, my spending money.
For the very first time in many years I am not delving into overdraft or credit card to pay for something of note!
I can only afford five days abroad, but that will be more than enough as I am returning to Sitges in Spain, a place I know and love and feel instantly comfortable with.
My Next holiday will be somewhere new, somewhere more challenging
This holiday its the comfort of what is known.
I go on Thursday!
and I am so looking forward to be able to sit quietly, with my eyes closed and my mind uncluttered, feeling the Mediterranean Sun on my face.

Bad Dog

The attack was photographed

It's a testament to any small community when news gets around like wildfire.
This is , of course, helped by social media , and in Trelawnyd's case, it's own on line discussion board.
Towards the later evening of the carnival the affable Despot Jason was Savaged by a dog which was on one of those extendable leads.
The dog meant business and several small children were in the potential line of fire.
It was " lucky" therefore that Jason bore the brunt of the attack.
The injury to his hand is a serious one, I've seen it so I know And he's presently in England awaiting skin grafts.
The police have been involved.
Jason and his family are popular in the village.
You don't often know just how much until something happens like this
Going Gently and everyone here, sends their love and best wishes

Pride month 🌈

Pride Month is coming to an end with all of the panache of a quality drag queen with too much sass
I am sorry to have never attended a Pride march as yet
Next year will be my year.
I don't really blog about what it is like to be gay.
I just am gay…….the fact is incidental and probably the least interesting thing about me

Am I proud to be gay?
hummmmmmm…….I am proud of being associated with all those men and woman that battled for equal rights at the 1969 Stonewall Riots.
I am proud to be living in a country that is enlightened enough to pass a law stating gay men and women can marry legally
and I am proud enough, tough enough and ugly enough to be able to hold my head up high and say I am a gay man in company that may not accept the fact with alacrity

Having said this, apart from some low level homophobic remarks thrown out by two Neanderthal British Gas workers at a Christmas do many years ago, I have never really been on the receiving end of any bigoted behaviour.
This fact, I know, is a rarity.

Once many years ago now I found out that I was subject to some gossip at work where the staff of an adjacent ward were over heard discussing my "sexual" life by a patient. The patient, as it turned out was a bit of a psychopath and promptly wheeled his wheelchair to my office in order to "taunt me" with the information he had just heard.
Buoyed up with indignation and supported by my sister's uniform I cornered all of the staff as they were giving handover and asked them to their faces if there was anything they wanted to know about me.
Of course heads were hung and denials given but the following warning shot of the prospect of official disciplinary action had its effect.
No one ever troubled me again where the subject of my sexuality was concerned.

I will leave you with the story of my very first meeting with Auntie Gladys.
She was in her mid eighties back then and was selling her Flower Show raffle tickets around the village and its surrounds.
The Jungle telegraph had alerted to most that there was a new Gay couple in the village

I bought a strip off her
" Does your friend want any tickets too?" she asked , her eyes twinkling and I was half amused by the term "friend" a word which was often bandied around by people too shy or too uncomfortable to call a spade a spade
Only Gladys was not uncomfortable, she was just searching for the right word to use
"He is my partner and not a friend and yes he will have some tickets from you" I told her kindly
Gladys laughed
"I was going to call him your boyfriend " she said "but you are both far too old to be called that!!!"

At 96, on the day of our marriage, the old girl walked all the way down from her house on High Street to present me with a wedding gift over the kitchen wall and when I remarked that I never thought I would see the day that two men would be allowed to Marry each other
she clapped her frail hands together and laughed her  musical Welsh laugh
"How marvellous" she cried

yes....how bloody marvellous!

carnival

A beautiful day for a carnival 

The carnival field, village and Gop Hill

Congratulations to Ian Papworth and the Trelawnyd Community Association Committee 

Holywell silver band

Liv Randa on theclimbing wall

The affable despot Jason with daughter

The toddler play area was inside the bales 

The kids didn't listen 

I think the whole village turned out 

Hattie ( left) in the tea tent 

BUNTY  from Trelawnyd's WI 

Looking hot and bothered 

"I can't stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action "

It was Blanche duBois that famously banged on about the "kindness of strangers" was it not?
Well I've never wafted my perspiring body around a humid New Orleans' apartment in my underwear  but I'm often known for posting a little something about the kindness of people.

This afternoon I delivered my shittily iced cake to Bridget who is co ordinating the carnival bakes.
Her cakes would put Nadia Hussain's to shame ,
As I left she gave me a small carrier bag. " Open It when you get home" she told me.
The gift was wrapped in pink tissue paper
It was a photo frame

She had printed up the famous " Terriers of Trelawnyd " photo and had it framed for me

marooned

Shit piping but the cake will be good

My nephew collected Bluebell for her full service this morning so I am effectively marooned for the day in the village.
Not that I mind.
The garden is overgrown and battered due to the rain recently and is in need of some attention as is the field which now resembles a jungle . Affable despot Jason and his big boys power tools will be helping me sort that out one evening soon

Trendy Carol ( sporting a motif t shirt, jeans and a nice leather jacket) called round to collect Mary for a play gallop with her Welsh terrier Seren.
She's offered to take Winnie too but the big girl is flat out on the couch.

I've promised to make two cakes for Bridget's tea tent for tomorrow's carnival too.
I'll do those later.( see above a postdated photo)
Fuck I've just realised that I've got no jam....I will go and bum some from Animal Helper Pat. She always has a well stocked larder

Dr Barnsley has just rode up the lane on his bike. He always seems to be in first gear, with feet pushing the peddles like Billyo , but never seems to get anywhere fast...

Lots of teenage school kids have been passing the cottage all morning . They seem to be on some sort of orienteering event.

Every little group of them have bid me a greeting when they passed the garden.

The youth of today eh?

Carnival

More pressing things to publicise 

Hiding In The Wings

It's been a week since George was put down and strange as it would seem for an old sentimental queen I haven't cried or felt sorry myself since

It was his time to go

Old dogs have no fear of death, they just soldier on until they fall over.

This morning I had a wobble

It was in the middle of chasing my tail; booking bluebell in for her service, sorting out new job admin, mentoring Sams volunteers and making sure my fast talking financial advisor doesn't forget me!

I had just finished eating 2  eggs on dry toast

as I downed my only coffee bucket of the day

and without thinking I popped the eggy detritus covered plate on the floor by the table leg

Only he wasn't there

There was no scraping of old nails on lino

No quiet black art deco shaped shadow morphing out from under the table

No paced enjoyment of an everyday treat

The bright yellow yolk smears remained untouched

crumbs and crusts  still cluttering the plate

And the knife stab of realisation was as painful as a real wounding

Thirteen years is a long time to have a constant companion

Even one who always hid away in the wings

But the stab lasted but a mere moment so there is no need to tell me you love me

as Stevie Nicks belted out on Sunday

"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be here, better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone"

Pallet and South Africa in Gwaenysgor

Luckily I am camoflagued by the delightful and more photogenic Hattie
I was more impressed by these two songs
I hope you enjoy them

You Raise Me Up

A bit ragged around the edges but it's fun to sing
I'll post a few more videos below this one when they arrive

The School Concert

Our Choir

We are all kids at heart
We all need vindication
Validation
And we all have the need to please, even though we may think that we are grown ups in a grown up world .

My sister,brother in law and sister in law came to watch our " concert" tonight as did many of the other choir member's relatives
And it was lovely for Me to see them there.
Even though my husband should have been proudly watching me from the wings
Or so I thought albeit briefly.
I hope Jamie with his 1940s RAF moustache was proud of us too and I'm pleased to admit that we only made one mistake when we followed the loudest bass when he veered "off piste" during one of the choruses

One of the Altos caught me drinking out of my water bottle just before the particularly hard Gregorian Chant piece  and she raised her eyebrows to see what I was gulping
" Pimms !" I told her conspiratorially  " want some?"
She nodded eagerly

I'll post a video of some of the performance tomorrow

Choir Practice and a Choking Cock!

one of the songs we will be singing tonight, ours is a little more upbeat

It's the choir's summer concert tonight at Gwaenysgor's Village Hall
The concert is open to the families of the choir and is a very informal affair
There will be food and I am sure a few gins smuggled into various of the soprano's water flasks

I have been practicing my weaker songs in Bluebell this morning. The car CD is the only thing that will play Choirmaster Jamie's singalong cd.
I caused a few raised eyebrows in Marks & Spencer's car park around eleven when I had to stop to master a particularly knotty bit of NKOSI SIKELEL' I AFRIKA 
I fucked up Finlandia on the A55 near Caerwys but gave a particularly rousing performance of
You Raise Me UP negotiating the Abergele roundabout

"Ufelise lintoa le matsoenyeho!" 

Try saying that with your teeth in- let alone sing the bugger!

I am on holiday today and for the first time since last autumn I am not working any of it.
I have a great deal to do and already this morning have been side tracked into practicing singing, dropping flowers off to Boffin Cameron's Mum for co walking the dogs when I was away and performing a somewhat hurried Heimlich manoeuvre on one of the cockerels after he had tried to stuff an over large piece of weightwatchers bread into his crop.
(a message to anyone who may need to know this, if your chicken chokes on a piece of bread or indeed has an impacted crop just grab the little sod firmly by the feet and swing him in a wide arc, preferably at armpit height.
centrifugal force will do the rest believe me!

London

I'm home after two days of London in the sun
i could have stayed longer
When I got home and eventually settled
Mary, Winnie and Albert climbed onto the couch together with me in a mass of fur, scratching and in Winnie's case farting.
Now we are only 4

Heaven

Fucking heaven
I have just spent 9£ on two luxury scotch eggs
Oh be still my beating heart

Star Turn

At 71 Stevie Nicks stole the show at the Fleetwood Mac concert at Wembley Statium yesterday
With her long ash hair, long black flowing dress and mysterious moves she more resembled Tolkien's Galdalf  than the rock chick that she was, but her voice thundered around the stadium like a train and the audience followed her every move with abject affection .
It was my very first mega concert and I was glad it was Fleetwood Mac that I saw instead of the Spice Girls who had lined just two nights before.
Mac was a class act.
We got back to our trendy hotel around midnight where we drank too much wine , talked and ate a ton of cheese. At 1am I was sat on the toilet in the glass box that was my bedroom bathroom with the electric drapes left open to the first story Covent Garden Street....
I was Humming to myself " Go you own wayyyyyyyy....go your own wayyyyyyyy......ayyyyy" 

Sunday Quiz

Ok the quiz is!
Im off to a concert
The person who guesses right who I am going to see and where
Gets a prize

The image isnt a clue btw
Someone sent it me saying I was 3rd from the left