Tuesday, 18 June 2019

Choir Practice and a Choking Cock!

one of the songs we will be singing tonight, ours is a little more upbeat

It's the choir's summer concert tonight at Gwaenysgor's Village Hall
The concert is open to the families of the choir and is a very informal affair
There will be food and I am sure a few gins smuggled into various of the soprano's water flasks

I have been practicing my weaker songs in Bluebell this morning. The car CD is the only thing that will play Choirmaster Jamie's singalong cd.
I caused a few raised eyebrows in Marks & Spencer's car park around eleven when I had to stop to master a particularly knotty bit of NKOSI SIKELEL' I AFRIKA 
I fucked up Finlandia on the A55 near Caerwys but gave a particularly rousing performance of
You Raise Me UP negotiating the Abergele roundabout

"Ufelise lintoa le matsoenyeho!" 

Try saying that with your teeth in- let alone sing the bugger!

I am on holiday today and for the first time since last autumn I am not working any of it.
I have a great deal to do and already this morning have been side tracked into practicing singing, dropping flowers off to Boffin Cameron's Mum for co walking the dogs when I was away and performing a somewhat hurried Heimlich manoeuvre on one of the cockerels after he had tried to stuff an over large piece of weightwatchers bread into his crop.
(a message to anyone who may need to know this, if your chicken chokes on a piece of bread or indeed has an impacted crop just grab the little sod firmly by the feet and swing him in a wide arc, preferably at armpit height.
centrifugal force will do the rest believe me!



29 comments:

  1. Spooky Men's Choir, I just love them. Fortunately coming to Bury St Edmunds soon. Jan Bx.

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  2. I will remember that advice. I'm glad you're having a good holiday. A real holiday.

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  3. That would be Chorale not Choir! Jan Bx.

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  4. But don't swing that cock too hard!

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  6. Thanks for the advise on the impacted crop! Had this happen a couple of times and nothing I tried worked. Just wanted to use a scalpel but was not sure about the sewing up bit!!

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  7. I came for the title of the post, of course. You know me. You swinging that animal around was quite the image.
    I think it’s super cool you brought flowers to somebody who walked the doggies. You see, it’s little touches like that what I miss in many men nowadays. A gentleman can always get it.

    XoXo

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  8. "Make me down the talent of your floor?" Is that right?
    And why's the choirmaster wearing that Biggles cap?

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    1. Make me down a pallet on your floor. They're Australian. Stephen, the conductor, nearly always wears his Biggles flying helmet, even in the hottest tent. He does take it off in cathedrals.

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    2. I'm amazed to read that I wasn't a million miles away, Sarah, even if I'm not sure what it is the line means, though I might guess.
      It's one of my bugbears that unless an audience is supplied with the words a choir is singing they can often not have the slightest idea. Singing in a group. and moreso en masse, smooths out all the hard consonants making individual words virtually indecipherable. It's bad enough having to make out what just one voice is singing, but when it's multiple voices together, it's pretty hopeless.

      As for Stephen's Biggles helmet, well it's reassuring even if still puzzling. I was starting to wonder if he was trying to muffle his ears from the sound the choir was making. :-)

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    3. Stephen Tavener is the Spooky Men's founder and writes a lot of their songs. Although the choir is superbly musical and professional, their "spookiness/weirdness" is a tried and tested publicity gimmick which makes everyone smile. I think when Stephen started this choir (he's formed several in OZ and is training folk all around the world) he wanted to make it ok for men to get together and sing without anyone casting aspersions on their gender. I love his songs, particularly "You can't get between a man and his tools", "Why does breakfast debris always multiply when you try to clear up" and the "The Affirmations of St Kevin the Unusual". Their renditions of songs like "Down to the river to pray" are so exquisitely beautiful, they can have you in tears. They performed an acapella gig in Ely Cathedral a couple of years ago where the audience sat on the floor around them, which was simply breath-taking. They bring joy wherever they go.

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  9. A choking chicken would be frightening.

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  10. May have to try it on the woodpidgeon who has been stuffing all the bird food we put out today!

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  11. Happy your enjoying your holiday.
    I remember the swinging chicken manure from the first time you wrote about it. I can just imagine what some walking by thought.
    parsnip

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  12. Barbara Anne3:57 pm

    What an entertaining post. Ta, John! :)

    It's good to learn how to save another creature's life. Will file that information away for future use.

    Enjoy your day off and the choir performance with treats tonight!

    Hugs!

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  13. Swing your cock! :)

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  14. There's a club in Attercliffe, Sheffield which attracts "swingers". You have probably been there. I never knew that they literally "swing" cocks in there.

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  15. Lordy, if I had to concentrate on singing a demanding piece of music while driving, it would put lives at risk!

    Enjoy your time off!

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  16. What crazy complicated music!

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  17. Did you say you were having a day off? Doesn't sound like it to me.

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  18. If I were to choke on an oversized morsel in your presence I would be A) worried, B) surprised, and C) the envy of many a masochist.

    Break a leg Diva x

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  19. many of my friends are always swinging their cocks about. mistress maddie in particular.

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  20. Another excellent reason for being happy I'm not chicken.

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  21. Wishing you and the choir much success tonight with your concert! I am not going to make any "choking the chicken" jokes.

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  22. Thank you so much for pointing me at a Spooky Men's song I hadn't heard before. We love them. Glad your concert went well. I hope you get a chance to sing their Swedish Folk Song one day!

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  23. Thank you for the chicken advice. I hope I never have to use it. -Jenn

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  24. I wish I'd been there to see you swinging your cock ... just for chicken first aid educational purposes of course 🤣🙃😉

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  25. شركة المثالية للتنظيف تسعد بتقديم خدماتها لعملائها بالمنطقة الشرقية خدمات تنظيف خدمات مكافحة حشرات خدمات تسليك مجاري المياه للمطابخ والحمامات جميع الخدمات المنزلية تجدونها مع شركة المثالية للتنظيف بافضل جودة وارخص الاسعار بالاعتماد علي كافة الادوات الحديثة والعمالة الماهرة

    شركة المثالية للتنظيف
    شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالدمام
    شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالخبر

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