"I can't stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action "

It was Blanche duBois that famously banged on about the "kindness of strangers" was it not?
Well I've never wafted my perspiring body around a humid New Orleans' apartment in my underwear  but I'm often known for posting a little something about the kindness of people.

This afternoon I delivered my shittily iced cake to Bridget who is co ordinating the carnival bakes.
Her cakes would put Nadia Hussain's to shame ,
As I left she gave me a small carrier bag. " Open It when you get home" she told me.
The gift was wrapped in pink tissue paper
It was a photo frame

She had printed up the famous " Terriers of Trelawnyd " photo and had it framed for me

marooned

Shit piping but the cake will be good

My nephew collected Bluebell for her full service this morning so I am effectively marooned for the day in the village.
Not that I mind.
The garden is overgrown and battered due to the rain recently and is in need of some attention as is the field which now resembles a jungle . Affable despot Jason and his big boys power tools will be helping me sort that out one evening soon

Trendy Carol ( sporting a motif t shirt, jeans and a nice leather jacket) called round to collect Mary for a play gallop with her Welsh terrier Seren.
She's offered to take Winnie too but the big girl is flat out on the couch.

I've promised to make two cakes for Bridget's tea tent for tomorrow's carnival too.
I'll do those later.( see above a postdated photo)
Fuck I've just realised that I've got no jam....I will go and bum some from Animal Helper Pat. She always has a well stocked larder

Dr Barnsley has just rode up the lane on his bike. He always seems to be in first gear, with feet pushing the peddles like Billyo , but never seems to get anywhere fast...

Lots of teenage school kids have been passing the cottage all morning . They seem to be on some sort of orienteering event.

Every little group of them have bid me a greeting when they passed the garden.

The youth of today eh?

Carnival

More pressing things to publicise 

Hiding In The Wings

It's been a week since George was put down and strange as it would seem for an old sentimental queen I haven't cried or felt sorry myself since

It was his time to go

Old dogs have no fear of death, they just soldier on until they fall over.

This morning I had a wobble

It was in the middle of chasing my tail; booking bluebell in for her service, sorting out new job admin, mentoring Sams volunteers and making sure my fast talking financial advisor doesn't forget me!

I had just finished eating 2  eggs on dry toast

as I downed my only coffee bucket of the day

and without thinking I popped the eggy detritus covered plate on the floor by the table leg

Only he wasn't there

There was no scraping of old nails on lino

No quiet black art deco shaped shadow morphing out from under the table

No paced enjoyment of an everyday treat

The bright yellow yolk smears remained untouched

crumbs and crusts  still cluttering the plate

And the knife stab of realisation was as painful as a real wounding

Thirteen years is a long time to have a constant companion

Even one who always hid away in the wings

But the stab lasted but a mere moment so there is no need to tell me you love me

as Stevie Nicks belted out on Sunday

"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be here, better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone"

Pallet and South Africa in Gwaenysgor

Luckily I am camoflagued by the delightful and more photogenic Hattie
I was more impressed by these two songs
I hope you enjoy them

You Raise Me Up

A bit ragged around the edges but it's fun to sing
I'll post a few more videos below this one when they arrive

The School Concert

Our Choir

We are all kids at heart
We all need vindication
Validation
And we all have the need to please, even though we may think that we are grown ups in a grown up world .

My sister,brother in law and sister in law came to watch our " concert" tonight as did many of the other choir member's relatives
And it was lovely for Me to see them there.
Even though my husband should have been proudly watching me from the wings
Or so I thought albeit briefly.
I hope Jamie with his 1940s RAF moustache was proud of us too and I'm pleased to admit that we only made one mistake when we followed the loudest bass when he veered "off piste" during one of the choruses

One of the Altos caught me drinking out of my water bottle just before the particularly hard Gregorian Chant piece  and she raised her eyebrows to see what I was gulping
" Pimms !" I told her conspiratorially  " want some?"
She nodded eagerly

I'll post a video of some of the performance tomorrow

Choir Practice and a Choking Cock!

one of the songs we will be singing tonight, ours is a little more upbeat

It's the choir's summer concert tonight at Gwaenysgor's Village Hall
The concert is open to the families of the choir and is a very informal affair
There will be food and I am sure a few gins smuggled into various of the soprano's water flasks

I have been practicing my weaker songs in Bluebell this morning. The car CD is the only thing that will play Choirmaster Jamie's singalong cd.
I caused a few raised eyebrows in Marks & Spencer's car park around eleven when I had to stop to master a particularly knotty bit of NKOSI SIKELEL' I AFRIKA 
I fucked up Finlandia on the A55 near Caerwys but gave a particularly rousing performance of
You Raise Me UP negotiating the Abergele roundabout

"Ufelise lintoa le matsoenyeho!" 

Try saying that with your teeth in- let alone sing the bugger!

I am on holiday today and for the first time since last autumn I am not working any of it.
I have a great deal to do and already this morning have been side tracked into practicing singing, dropping flowers off to Boffin Cameron's Mum for co walking the dogs when I was away and performing a somewhat hurried Heimlich manoeuvre on one of the cockerels after he had tried to stuff an over large piece of weightwatchers bread into his crop.
(a message to anyone who may need to know this, if your chicken chokes on a piece of bread or indeed has an impacted crop just grab the little sod firmly by the feet and swing him in a wide arc, preferably at armpit height.
centrifugal force will do the rest believe me!

London

I'm home after two days of London in the sun
i could have stayed longer
When I got home and eventually settled
Mary, Winnie and Albert climbed onto the couch together with me in a mass of fur, scratching and in Winnie's case farting.
Now we are only 4

Heaven

Fucking heaven
I have just spent 9£ on two luxury scotch eggs
Oh be still my beating heart

Star Turn

At 71 Stevie Nicks stole the show at the Fleetwood Mac concert at Wembley Statium yesterday
With her long ash hair, long black flowing dress and mysterious moves she more resembled Tolkien's Galdalf  than the rock chick that she was, but her voice thundered around the stadium like a train and the audience followed her every move with abject affection .
It was my very first mega concert and I was glad it was Fleetwood Mac that I saw instead of the Spice Girls who had lined just two nights before.
Mac was a class act.
We got back to our trendy hotel around midnight where we drank too much wine , talked and ate a ton of cheese. At 1am I was sat on the toilet in the glass box that was my bedroom bathroom with the electric drapes left open to the first story Covent Garden Street....
I was Humming to myself " Go you own wayyyyyyyy....go your own wayyyyyyyy......ayyyyy" 

Sunday Quiz

Ok the quiz is!
Im off to a concert
The person who guesses right who I am going to see and where
Gets a prize

The image isnt a clue btw
Someone sent it me saying I was 3rd from the left

Who IS James?

The nice thing about blogging in the public view is sometimes you receive some lovely gifts.
I count my huge box of international postcards in that category, all of which I am going to use as a "Wall of all nations" very soon, even though a close friend thought the whole exercise was all a bit creepy.
"Thousands of people know your address" he commented, shivering
"Just like the Queen!" I responded gayly

Today I got home after a set of night shifts to some post and an unexpected gift.
The post I could do without as It was a somewhat prudent bill for George's Euthanasia and cremation
(I would have buried him but the ground here has been too saturated to dig)

The gift, however, was quite lovely.
Balanced by the front door was a bunch of sunflowers and a homemade scotch egg wrapped in grease proof paper. An accompanying note, which was saturated into mush by the rain said simply
"I hope you enjoy...James"
I don't know any James'
I know a Jim (Jimbo) and a Jerry and that's about it!
No James' comes to mind at all

I asked a neighbour but they hadn't spotted any gorgeous Russell Crowe lookalike looking furtive amongst my honeysuckle last night but they shook their heads
"Perhaps James is an alias?" one of them ventured

The plot thickened.
and so did my fantasy

Perhaps I am doing James a disservice by imagining him as a floppy haired, beefy hunk-of spunk with a loyal black Labrador and a sense of self depreciating humour which would put Jo Brand to shame.
whatever the reality I want to thank him and others like Wendy and Alun, Naomi and Especially Brian for their kindnesses recently.
A kind thought goes a long way

and so could James to be sure
especially if he looks like Russell Crowe

It's Only Me!

"It's only me!"
How many times have we heard these few words on the other end of the phone or on our smart answerphones?
I wonder if is a typically English statement?
One that starts a conversation with almost an apology
Its only me...sorry for bothering you!
I use this greeting all of the time, as many of the people I know do.
It's only me ! Do you mind a chat?

But it's NOT only you...….is it?
It your investment in time and friendship and care
It's a positive and a kind word.
It's contact
It's important.

So next time you leave a message or call out a greeting
say
"It's Me!"
Don't say "It's ONLY me!"

Ta Muchly

Been busy today,
Just going to bed now as I am working the next couple of nights
Thank you all for your best wishes

"What's All This fuss about?"

George, Meg and William 

George died this morning
It was peaceful and calm and he was looking at me as if to say " what's all this stupid fuss about?" 

He had become very ill very quickly, it was something in his abdomen - a massive inflammatory reaction and what felt like a mass
The young vet was relieved when I agreed it was time for him to go.
I kissed George one too many times on the head and he moved away in typical Scotty style.
No fuss. No messing
Scotties hate it all.
It bothers them.

I asked if I could inject the anaesthetic so he could see me and the vet allowed me to although she still held the syringe and as he felt the oddness of the medication react, George let out a very faint " aroo!" 
Scotties aroo a great deal when puzzled.
A good AROO! can burst an eardrum

Always, last in the pecking order
Always last in the car
Always last on a walk
He never demanded a thing

I couldn't face going home after the vets, and so I went to Mostyn Gallery in Llandudno to look at the art......over coffee I recalled one single memory of this self contained little dog which was his obvious and oh so contagious joy at bedtimes when he alone was singled out from the others  and chased up the stairs by his Prof and master to bed.

Healing

We sang our lungs out at choir tonight.
We are giving a mini concert at the village Hall next Tuesday and went through our repertoire
1940's moustached RAF Pilot Jamie was almost in tears in surprised shock
We did so well.

The choir sang a late happy birthday to me and a tenor and Alto
They congratulated me on my new job....in song
Hattie had spilled the beans

Oh , I didn't say did I?
I have a new job! .......I found out at tea time!!!!

My whole nursing career  has been centred around people dealing with catastrophic change
I have worked with devastating mental illness', paralysis after spinal cord injury and multi organ failure on intensive care and so it seemed quite natural for me to be drawn to work in a hospice.
Last Wednesday I had an interview for a full time post at St David's Hospice in Llandudno.
Today I was accepted.
I cried when I received the home call.
Good luck has been a long time coming.

I can't tell you just how I feel tonight.
But I can share just how much my brittle self esteem has started to repair itself at last.
For too long I have felt somewhat discarded and ashamed, bruised and just sad.
Now I feel some control has been returned to me

I stood in the centre of the choir as they sang to me tonight
And I felt............happy

Waiting

I had an interview for a new job last week.
I interviewed well.
I am now Waiting to hear if I've got the job and it has been a trial .
I now, won't know until next week , perhaps longer.

There is a lot riding on this new job.
Amongst other things my self esteem will take a considerable boost if I do get it..
I need that lift

Affable despot Jason sent his good wishes with this photo today
It's perky optimism is contagious

One Way Or T'other

I will be back tomorrow...

The video has nothing to do with things
But it's an enjoyable classic
I've just given a lecture to the Trelawnyd Women's Institute
I knew most of the ladies there
We had cake and tea and shared local history stories
I handed over my history blog to the village history group

😞

Day Off

Going Gently is taking a couple of days off

Not much to say......xx