Jamming My Head Through The Conservatory Window

• The hot and humid weather is proving somewhat troublesome for some. After Church on Sunday Trendy Carol ( dressed in a flattering floaty trouser ensemble) stopped by to ask if I could check on neighbour T, who had suffered a "bit of a do" on one of the back pews and who had taken his way back home. I immediately popped down and worryingly got no answer when I knocked on the door. Seeing the conservatory window ajar, I managed to climb up onto a wall and jammed my head through the gap and proceeded to call my neighbour's name and shouted to see if he was ok. Getting no answer and all very hot and very sweaty I circled the bungalow trying to force open windows and doors. It was a good job that my burglary skills are pretty shit as I found out soon later that neighbour T had been enjoying a large roast lunch at The Crown!
• The Flower Show meeting went smoothly on Monday. Matriarch Irene has agreed to take over Auntie Glad's stall and after last year's initiative of sandwich making went somewhat flat the committee will stick to selling homemade cakes as refreshments. 
• Can all cup winners return their engraved cups asap thank you!
• Apologies to the blog fan who knocked on the window yesterday with her somewhat colourful daughter and her boyfriend in tow! I should have offered you all a cup of tea, but I was frying meatballs at the time....it was nice to meet you.- apologies again for Winnie's lascivious behaviours and  forgive me but I never asked your name...please comment if you read this so I know who you are! 
• Thanks for the latest novelty veg photo! Zombie potato!  ( jgsheffield@hotmail.com)

It's so humid today..I am presently lying on the chaise longue wafting myself with a limp bit of lettuce 

A Simple Lesson In Mental Illness

Yesterday I was almost drawn into a debate about the punishment of terrorists and counter terrorists here in the British Isles.
I pulled back from the argument, worried at the way the conversation was heading.
Words like monsters and evil and capital punishment were being thrown about into the mix with descriptions like mad and bad and at times like these, where emotions are understandably high, we need to take a deep breath in order to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Secreted within the fundamentalists, the misguided and the angry will be the mentally ill. Terrorist plots, the fear of attack and the conspiracy theories that will no doubt accompany them are like nectar to bees when it comes to people suffering from psychotic delusions. The madness of the acts attracts true madness like a magnet.
Someone who is acutely mentally ill and who is  sectionable under the mental health act ( for being a danger to themselves or to others) is not in control of their faculties, plain and simple
They are unable to make informed decisions and therefore cannot be held responsible for their actions.
These people need medical and nursing care, and not punishment . In severe cases secure care may well be for life.
Now it can be argued that all terrorists that maim and kill and destroy seemingly without a second glance must be mad in someway and I have no easy answer to this, suffice to say there has always been a fine line between evil and psychopathic behaviour and psychosis. One can be termed bad, and can be punished the other may be called mad and needs treatment. The definitions are always blurred by emotion.
I don't know if any of the recent terror attacks were actually committed by someone Suffering from mental illness.
But what I do know, and what I am passionate about, is the fact that if any of them are psychotic and sectionable under the Mental Heath Act, then people should realise that they are not in control of their actions.

A Frozen Lobster on Your nipples.

The Prof broke a tooth on a maverick hors d'oeuvre and has retired to bed after emergency dental work. I took the dogs out in the relative cool of the evening. It's been so hot today Winnie has laid down in the shade of the garden buddleia with a tea towel covered Aldi frozen half lobster placed under her nipples.

Bulldogs don't do heat! 

We bumped into affable despot Claire in the street. She had just seen very small girl running through the village clutching a teddy bear, and had gone out, in her comfy pants to investigate . The girl  was no where to be seen, which prompted a " ghost girl " sort of conversation 

We've all agreed that we had experienced far too sun today. 

Love a duck

It's hot again today, almost too hot to sleep after night shift.

There is a Flower Show meeting at 2pm

I will leave you with two more entries to the novelty veg/fruit competition 

Green Peacock and Out for a duck

Send entries to jgsheffield@hotmail.com

Gravestone

Apart from Auntie Glad's house and a few cottages on Bonc Terrace, our cottage is one of the oldest around .  It was originally built in 1674 then rebuilt, presumably after it was delerict in 1864
I tell you this by way of local colour.
On my travels throug the old graveyard, I have got know several of the old gravestones andone in particular has always caught my eye.  This morning I took several sheets of kitchen roll and a watering can of water and cleaned it off. I couldn't readit all but this is what I found

Here Lies John Norman of Axton ( a hamlet East of Trelawnyd)

The mines in this country were much wrought in his time.

He was an adventurer therein also

For sometime a superintendent for the government for smelting 

Down lead in Trelogan Hall and for coalmining in Bagillt 

Also in memory of George, his son,  of the East India Company

Who drowned off the coast of Sumatra in 1746

How wonderful to be described as an " adventurer"! 

I wonder what my gravestone will say?

There Is Nothing Like An Old Dame

finally my favourite actress of all time has been awarded an award by the Queen at the ripe old age of 101
Better Late Than Never

The Funny Side of Resus

There were about twenty people in the village Hall when I arrived for defib training last night. There were two teachers from the school, curly haired Maureen representing the Friendship Group, Mrs Trellis waving the flag for the church and a bloke I didn't know from the Male voice choir all sitting politely waiting for the fun to begin . Sandra, the popular  village Hall's caretaker, various members of the Hall committee and a smattering of villagers made up the numbers, villagers which included local farmer Med, a father and his ten year old son and a young woman from the new bungalows.
Not a bad turn out all told.
The training was carried out by the local first responders who are self funded  volunteers and who often get to arrest situations before the paramedics in this rural part of Wales. Our trainers were a primary school teacher a pharmacist and an ambulance driver.
Sandra kicked off the giggling by being unable to get the combination right on the defib case outside the hall which was a good start, then, Mrs Trellis, a slight lady at the best of times had noticable difficulty compressing the chest of resus dummy adequately!
" You can always use your foot" the trainer suggested helpfully
" not with these heels on" she countered.
Mrs Trellis has an unhurried ,precise and intensely mannered way about her, so I had to smile when she uncovered the defib pads with all the delicacy of a Japanese tea lady and placed them with infinate care upon the dummy. Pleased with what she had done she sat back to survey her work for a few seconds before starting chest compressions once more.
" Have I forgotten anything? " she chirped
" You need to switch the machine on" the responder suggested.
During the group chat, Farmer Med, who is a world travelled hiker, stumped the trainers for a few seconds with his
" What do I do if someone has a heart attack up the Himalayas?" 
"Do the best you can " came the reply

Busy

It's a day for small jobs. Ringing round the members of the Flower Show committee in order to organise a meeting for Monday, dropping off a sunflower to a friend who has lost her partner. Planting out more sunflowers and agapanthus by the back door.  Cutting the lawn. Cleaning the perspex on the village noticeboard. Washing clothes, hoovering the car.....weeding and polishing
Hours filled with jobs that don't sound very important

Alien Covenant

The Prof is still away so I went to see Alien Covenant this evening. It was so-so somewhat of a mess really but I kind of liked Katherine Waterston who inherited the Sigourney Weaver role even though she looked like a lumpy Amelie ! Unfortunately there was less of her and more of the irritating Michael Fassbender 

I will leave you with some more novelty veg/ fruit entries

Keep em coming please 

To jgsheffield@hotmail.com

The Visit

I've been putting the visit off for a while now.
Auntie Glad's nursing home holds some very sad memories for me as it was the last home my mother knew before her death fifteen years or so ago.
Then, the home, was managed by what I thought, a fairly sloppy individual so today when I buzzed to be let through the security door, I was impressed to see a smart young woman in a crisp blue uniform answer the door.
" Are you her nephew?" the carer asked as she showed me into the day room filled with sleeping residents.
"No just a friend" I told her.
Gladys looked tired when I sat down next to her. She knew who I was when I told her but her chat was vague and her mood flatter than I have seen it before. The only time the old Gladys returned was when I gave her the hand crocheted blanket Going Gently reader Amy had made for her.
Only then did she raise the soft wool to her face exclaiming " Wonderful how wonderful" so loud that a woman opposite suddenly woke up and asked no one in particular if she could go to bed.
I talked about the Flower Show schedules and the village news and in a pause Gladys said " I'm not quite right you know" 
I held her hand for a moment and asked her what she meant
Gladys shook her head, seemingly unable to articulate what she wanted to say
Moments later she gave a tiny laugh " I'm done for" she said quietly.

Movie Night

I was seventeen when Manhattan, Woody Allen's homage to New York, was released and I had forgotten just how beautiful the city was captured by the movie's black and white cinematography.
The story of neurotic, naturally funny Midtown academics, remains, clever and amusing and certainly iconic but it was not quite as funny as I liked to remember so I was tickled pink when I got home to see a homemade film trailer in my email inbox from the affable despots!
It is a film trailer from the up and coming Trelawnyd based film Chapel Street! 
Enjoy! 

Chapel Street is the oldest street in the village

Ps what I love about manhattan  was the way many of the scenes were set up with the major actors in the foreground just to the side of extras in the background...the extras' stories were just as important as the main actors....watch it and you will agree 

A Little Of What You Fancy!

We all need a treat from time to time.
For the dogs it is a cheap frankfurter sausage that gets the blood pumping!
And this morning they had two each to be getting on with.
I was in two minds whether or not to get myself a scotch egg but I was virtuous and bought myself a melon instead!
My treat today will be a trip to the cinema this evening. The Prof is away so it's a lone trip to Theatre Clwyd to see Woody Allen's classic Manhattan
What's your treat to yourself?

One Up

A bit of lightness is needed.....thought I 'd share one of those moments when the stars align with the moon!

A woman I know is a bit of a show off!
Designer shoes, flash car, expensive holidays,
She loves to underline just how great her life is!
Anyhow I saw her yesterday coming out of  Sainsbury's supermarket recycling area.
She stopped her very large car and dropped her posh sunglasses to say hi
Noting that she makes a big deal of always going to Waitrose I chirped up with a
" We don't usually see you here! " kind of comment
" I've just been to the clothes bank" she explained, trying to sound all pious
" Did you find anything nice?" I purred with a smile! 

A Story From York Minster

Recently the Prof and I were caught up in a mega traffic jam on the way back from the beach. The A55 (the main duel carriageway serving North Wales) was closed both ways as the police dealt with a suicidal woman who was threatening to jump from a bridge, and in soaring temperatures we, like a few thousand others sat in our cars waiting for the roads to clear.
http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/see-a55-drivers-passing-time-13133667
Twitter abounded with pithy and then just plain rude complaints about just how selfish the woman involved was, and frustrated in our hot car, I remembered a time when I was on the other side of such an incident!
Then, I worked in York as a junior staff nurse in the city's flagship psychiatric hospital, Bootham Park and on one sunny afternoon, I remember being asked to help a colleague after the patient she had been admitting unexpectedly ran from our ward seconds after being brought in as a voluntary patient.
We had no idea of what could be going on in the guy's mind, all we knew that he was said to be suffering from anxiety, but as he raced down the long drive towards the city centre the female nurse and I both felt that cold dread of something not quite right.
Generally, nurses were expected to retrieve absconding patients only within the hospital grounds, leaving the police to find any in the community, but then without hesitation we both chased the man as he turned left out of the hospital gates and down Petergate where we lost him in the tourist crowds.

What seemed like an age later, we were joined by a policeman who had just heard that a colleague of his had approached a " suspicious" man in York Minster who had suddenly bolted up onto the South Transept roof, where he, without the slightest of hesitations, had thrown himself off.

Now ,if you are ever "inconvenienced" by such events like the one The Prof and I found ourselves in a couple of weeks ago and find yourself less than sympathetic to the person sat on that motorway bridge -spare a thought for the emergency personnel  who are trying their best to deal with the situation.
Even though that nurse and I had not got any real notion of what was going on with that patient, the cold, paralysing fear that he had taken his life whilst under our " care" was a feeling, we will never ever forget and I know that the policeman we met up with felt exactly the same.


As it turned out, the patient actually survived his fall but sustained life changing spinal injuries as a result of it and I was part of the team that went to assess him again as he was being rehabilitated in his wheelchair. Strange as it may seem, he had absolutely no idea why he had jumped from the roof in the first place!

Widening The Field

Another entry to the novelty veg comp! Apologies for not posting it earlier, I ' ve just found it!

Just a thought but the Flower Show has a general photo competition class which this year has two categories, they are usually very popular!
One class, this year  is " My Pet" the other is entitled " Seaside" .....if any of going gently's readers would like to enter these classes rather than the novelty veg class ( which seems to overface many) you are all welcome to send me your photos....
I need to have the original photo ( which can be returned) no larger than 7 x5
So if you have a particularly good photo of a pet or a seaside scene and want to share it
Just email me if you fancy a chance to take part!    

Jelly Fish!

I have nothing interesting to say today. Two more long night shifts under my belt with only four more to go, I am still tired and washed out with just enough chutzpah left to give Mary a bubble bath, Winnie a scrub with her fanny flannel and a curry cooked from scratch on the cooker hob.

I will leave you with Carol Caudwell's entry for the novelty veg/fruit competition 

Keep em comming to jgsheffield@hotmail.com

Albert The Cat's Blog Entry

Yawn!
I'm writing this as I wait for food
I'm always waiting to be fed.....bastards!
The effin' dogs always come first!, especally that bastard pug ugly bulldog!
I don't know why I friggin bother staying!

If Dogs Wrote Blogs

one blog that I follow discussed Cats writing blogs...I just wondered what a blog could read like if Winnie penned it?
So here goes ......

Fat daddy woke me up at an ungodly hour this morning to go out for a pee.

I keep glaring at him every day but he doesnt get the message

I CAN SLEEP 14 HOURS WITHOUT NEEDING A PISS! 

The other dogs bounce around like bloody lunatics, I just can't wait to get back to bed.

Grumpy Dad was already making his morning food when we got back in , so we left him quick sticks and climbed into bed with fat dad. 

Fat dad is like me, he hates mornings!

It's late in the day when fat dad calls me. I pretend to be asleep, but he knows me too well and so I get up and fart. He farts too and often blames me. 

Today I hear him talking to someone.

THERE IS WORKMEN IN THE HOUSE!!!!!

I run down stairs and get all unnecessary as two gorgeous men in OVERALLS are in the garden.

They have come just to see me! 

I kiss them both on the lips! Then have to have an immediate botty rub on the garden steps

Fat dad shakes his head!  He hates me botty rubbing

Funny, Grumpy Dad always laughs when I rub my botty on his slippers! 

I love his slippers! 

We then go for a walk around the village. George gets on my tits as he is too slow. William keeps walking into things and Mary gets excited if she sees a bleeding pigeon  flying past. 

I'm surrounded by idiots!

I wish I could walk with Albert, he has a few brain cells about him and he loves me.

Fat Dad keeps stopping to talking to people. 

It's so boring.

He thinks he's popular!

Finally we get home and IT's FOOD TIME!" 

Thank god! 

A tin of horse with bacon flavoured biscuits! Bloody lovely

I rub my botty on the back door for a bit as William has a poo against the fridge

He's getting old and is such a let down! 

Anyhow Fat dad, gets all hot and sweaty and looks very ill as he plays with a lot of stones in the garden, so I have a small nap in the sun. 

It's been a busy day all told.

A Ton Of Gravel

Going Gently is going all Homes & Gardens today.
Who says I can't do a " lifestyle blog"?
I've just shifted a ton of soddin gravel ! A huge bag of which was unloaded by small grabber thing on the back of a lorry early this morning. The lorry got stuck for a while in the lane blocking the school rat run traffic which was fun and the two workmen were delayed for several minutes longer by Winnie's need for on-the-lip kisses. Fair dos both obliged her with a snog and she is now lying in a sunny spot in the garden , basking in the afterglow.
I was on my last legs, filling a bucket with the last few ounces of gravel when a neighbour skipped past commenting " That looks like a big job for you " 
I noted the " for you"bit and shot back a quick " fuck off!" Then promptly broke wind loudly as I heaved the load onto the new path!
The results as you will agree are impressive! ( the paths not the fart)

This afternoon I have filled the cottage with flowers from the garden
I think I'm frigging Jane Asher

The Women Of Trelawnyd comment on the Election