Apart from Auntie Glad's house and a few cottages on Bonc Terrace, our cottage is one of the oldest around . It was originally built in 1674 then rebuilt, presumably after it was delerict in 1864
I tell you this by way of local colour.
On my travels throug the old graveyard, I have got know several of the old gravestones andone in particular has always caught my eye. This morning I took several sheets of kitchen roll and a watering can of water and cleaned it off. I couldn't readit all but this is what I found
Here Lies John Norman of Axton ( a hamlet East of Trelawnyd)
The mines in this country were much wrought in his time.
He was an adventurer therein also
For sometime a superintendent for the government for smelting
Down lead in Trelogan Hall and for coalmining in Bagillt
Also in memory of George, his son, of the East India Company
Who drowned off the coast of Sumatra in 1746
How wonderful to be described as an " adventurer"!
I wonder what my gravestone will say?
A fantastic find.
ReplyDeleteSome of these old stones have the most fascinating stories to tell haven't they John?
ReplyDeleteYours will have to include 'lover of Scotch eggs and Welsh terriers'.
Didn't one of the English kings die of something like a 'surfeit of lampreys'? Hope your demise is not a 'surfeit of Scotch eggs'.
I havent had one weave......not whilst i have gone to fat club
DeleteDo you really want to know what I would expect to find on your gravestone or, indeed, the shape of your gravestone? Truth be told? Nah. Still, people in centuries to come, would find you even once the engraving been washed out by the elements.
ReplyDeleteRIP.
U
Who pissed on your chips?
Delete"Who pissed on your chips"? You did, John.
DeleteU
And just how have i done that?
DeleteMine will be a plain rectangle with just name and dates inscribed. I would also rather like to have a few small patches of lichen and perhaps a stand or two of small leaved ivy emerging from near the base.
ReplyDeleteI like the plain ones They have a certain dignity about them
Deleteprobably "sensible fellow, loved animals, farted proudly, loved life".
ReplyDelete"Here rests the body of Johnny Gray
ReplyDeleteHe kicked the bucket and went away
Here he lies (mostly) beneath the grass
But please park your bike twixt the cheeks of his ass."
hello YP; good one! :)
DeleteThe size of my arse....park ypur motorbike!
Delete"in spite of his unrequited desire to have Russell Crowe's babies". Now there is some masturbationary thoughts for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat would we say, loving, fun, all around great guy.
ReplyDeleteHe lived with his husband and animals
ReplyDeleteI just read NotesfromAbroad and read it as Here lies a Poof..
DeleteSo did I. It's amazing how often it crops up.
DeleteRears its ugly head?
DeleteQueer that isn't it.
Delete"Friend of the World"
ReplyDeleteHere lies John Gray
ReplyDeleteCare giver of man and beast
Billy Wilder has a good epitaph ..
ReplyDelete"I'm a writer, but then, nobody's perfect"
or this one ..
"Here lies a Proof that Wit can never be
Defence enough against Mortality. "
Her lies the kindest , most understanding guy EVER.
ReplyDeleteI feel ill...
DeleteEnvy thomas is a cruel emotion!
DeleteOh my . . .
ReplyDeleteI like you . . .
Caring Ole' Soul
(Loved YP's, "Johnny Grey . . . " Epitaph)
Here lies John Gray -
ReplyDeleteOpen hearted, often farted.
Sadly missed, often pissed.
Funny!and very English ( but sadly not welsh)
DeleteJohn Gray. Funny guy. Kind to people and animals. x
DeleteTo harden the blow of my first comment on this thread: Why did you feel you had to wash off the grime and moss of a couple of centuries?
ReplyDeleteThis is not an impertinent question. Asking as one who visits graveyards (and cemeteries) as a leisure activity. The calm of graveyards and cemeteries is intoxicating. However, I'd never touch a grave stone other than, maybe, with a caressing finger along its outline.
To illuminate how reverent some people are of graves: Last year the Angel and I went to Minstead (Dorset). Minstead is a place dear to me; not least because Arthur Canon Doyle (ref. Sherlock Holmes) and his wife are buried there. The grave is, more or less, just grass; no stone edging to mark a border. Since I am highly myopic I stepped close enough to the grave stone to read the inscription. The Angel was aghast. "Come off it, Mama", he said. "You are standing on him." Oh dear. I suppose I was. Not that Canon Doyle and/or his wife would have minded. Still. Oddly, it was also the afternoon I finally made up my mind that I'd be buried rather than cremated. There is a tiny section along Minstead's graveyard's fence dedicated to urns, overlooking the rolling and so very green Downs. The Angel found them pitifully "small". Well, I shall give him a grave the length of me.
U
Well you whipped yourself up into a miniature frenzy ursula!
DeleteI cleaned some mud ( no moss) from a gravestone which now can be read and enjoyed .....CALL THE POLICE,
"Police"? No need to "whip yourself into a frenzy", John. Aren't you the one of the witty repartee? The quick of mind? Vis-a-vis hapless workmen, people peering into your window and other folk in the face of Winnie, and, latest example of your charitable soul, a woman who wound her car window down (being rich and wearing large sun glasses not withstanding) for her to say hello and for your to rebuke her? Saint indeed.
DeleteU
What on earth are you jabbering about?
DeleteOh i see the show off! .....winnie wasnt with me and like you she missed the point of the joke by not possessing a sense of humour!
DeleteI didn't say Winnie was with you on the occasion of posh lady. Though Winnie, always the butt of your joke at females, does - according to you - make a beeline for anyone in an overall. It's funny once. It ain't funny on repeat. Neither are the slippers. Neither are the farts. Dog poo in places where it shouldn't be. Time to change the record.
DeleteI like you, John. However, it never does to become too full of oneself. And - ably egged on by your many readers - you are in danger of becoming just that. Full of yourself. Where is, and what's happened to, the freshness your blog once was?
Maybe it's the chickens missing.
U
PS Some of your readers egging you on to "write a book". If you can't take my critique don't bother. It's brutal out there in the publishing world
Oh dear... Right i will say this only before i go to bed for an hour ( i am on night shift)
DeleteIf you dont like it.....dont read it.....GOING GENTLY is the world, my world as I see it, how I would like it to be, how I describe it to be.....most of things are banal, crass, boring, interesting ( delete as applicable) so if you dont like it...just stop reading it.....i cant be arsed if you stay or you go ursula
But i take your point and agree with it.. Its never good to be too full of yourself
Well said, John. I'll never understand people who criticize another person's blog. No one is holding their eyeballs to the screen. As for "it's brutal out there in the publishing world," we're not talking War and Peace here. I've self-published a humorous look at my late mother's escapades after she moved to Texas. Yeah, it's not a best seller, but I did it for my own enjoyment and that of others who knew her. I had one "negative" review by a woman who complained the book didn't go on long enough for her. I told her I was sorry my mother's sudden death inconvenienced her. If you want to write a book, John, go for it.
DeleteMinstead is in Hampshire, btw. :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear god. Hard working tradesmen are sexy. Farts aren't always funny but John's are. No one is forcing you to read this blog.
DeleteI would happily put money forward for a book. John, thoughts? You could do a kickstarter and backer copies could be paw print autographed by Albert.
Kpdruralpress (sounds painful), whilst sticklers for detail can be a pain, you are right. Mitigating circumstances? I have lived in both Dorset and Hampshire over the last thirty years. Borderlines are fluid. Not least in our perception. There is that twilight zone of borders overlapping and you can't be sure (neither does it matter) where exactly you are. Once upon a time I stood with one foot in Dorset and one foot in Hampshire. Doing the splits. People who live in Surrey don't get it.
DeleteU
Dear John, people say (you are not the only) that "if you don't like something don't read it".
DeleteDoesn't make sense. In order to decide whether something speaks to you or not you first have to read it.
I do read your (and others') blog. And sometimes I find challenging someone's view well worth their and my time.
The "if you don't like don't read" line is lazy. Instead of addressing what you may perceive as criticism you (by which I mean people who use that line whole sale) take the short cut. Sure, "if you don't like don't read it" is one way of shutting people up. It's also a way of never making REAL friends. Because, John, one thing as certain as finding an altar in church that the relentless yea-sayers (def. "One who tends to agree uncritically with others") will be the first to leave a sinking ship. To put it another way: Every time you and the Prof disagree about something you forget all the good and show each other the door? Don't think so.
Summer greetings to Albert,
U
You remind me of my mother
DeleteShe was critical and self righteous.
And her valid points were often lost in those behaviours
I don't live in Surrey, but I did spend 27 years in unfluid Dorset, I know where the borders are
DeleteNo more from me, sorry for the interruption John - as you were :).
I was so surprised by this weird outburst on your blog John and then I remembered. You can tell who your real friends are, not by who sympathises when your sad but by who can cope with and celebrate your success.
DeleteSo wonderful to live in an area with such rich history. Canada is just a baby compared to England. I always feel fortunate to have something bordering on 100 years old.... What will your tombstone say? Surely something about your love of life and people and animals...your community service....your dedication to your profession. It's going to be a long one for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed that any writing could still be discerned at all on a tombstone that old -- it must have been deeply engraved to have withstood the elements all these years!
ReplyDeleteWhat's said on your stone will be determined by the sobriety of the one who orders it, John. :-)
ReplyDeleteI dont know what it will say but your head stone should be a bull dog.
ReplyDeleteAh..john gray..did his best and to hell with all the rest.
into the night although Thomas' quote is " do not go gently into the night"
DeleteIt's "Do not go gentle into this good night."
DeleteHe went gently.
ReplyDeleteSee above for the reply!
DeleteA Bon Vivant in all things Great and Small.
ReplyDeleteor
Someone who enjoyed all of life.
Then have paw prints all over it !
cheers, parsnip
I really don't know what a fitting prose would be for you as I've only been reading this for a couple of weeks. Your dearly beloved would have an answer. I did laugh when Spike Milligan requested 'I told you I was ill' for his stone.
ReplyDeleteBeing self employed and working long hours my husband always says no one puts on their gravestone "I wish I'd spent more time at work!".
ReplyDelete"Here lies the oldest living member of the Gray family .... not dead yet .. just taking a nap. "
ReplyDelete"He made people smile". I can't think of a greater gift, John, and you do it every day.
ReplyDeleteThat gravestone has been there longer than white people have been settled in Australia. The history is something I loved about visiting the UK. As for your gravestone, I don't know, but I think you will be remembered by many people for a long time, stone or no. My fave is one that reads, "She never moved the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man and she rode good horses." That would do me.
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to visit Highgate cemetery & nearly did years ago on a Blog date - yes I've made real friends through Bloggging ! It was pouring with rain so we cancelled; perhaps will try again this autumn.
ReplyDeleteUgh, no stone or epitaph for me. Ashes into the winds and the waves, set me free, please.
ReplyDeleteJohn, a little tip for you.... Rub the headstones with a good handful of grass. You will see the inscription much better.
ReplyDeleteThank you mark or was it debbie
DeleteSorry but it's really Sylvia lol
ReplyDeleteWe did that with an old headstone recently and it was better to read