- Never Far From Me

The lights in the cottage at night

Show her cataracts and in the gloom I now see an old lady

She’s now almost blind in one eye.

And walks a little stiffly now

But she eats well even though her weight is now light for her size.

We walked out last night at dusk.

Roger now leading as she once did

She following

As he once did.

We stopped at the field gate 

And Roger dipped his head to the grass

But Mary didn’t……

She stood still and held her head up to the night breeze and closed her eyes

And in that moment

I couldn’t have loved my old girl more

Ponies

 Two of the field ponies have been moved so the remaining ones are vocal and calling into the night for their loved ones which is behaviour I sort of like even if it is sort of melancholy 

Saw a so so sit com in Chester this afternoon The Materialists 

Badly cast but Pedro Pascal was cute as a middle aged Latino button 

Hey ho

Mr Poźnan

 

Village Leader Ian called in to see Mr Poźnan a week before the flower show. He sold him raffle tickets and asked if he’d enter something from his garden. Mr Poźnan entered his rhubarb even though he’s been unwell for a long time now. 

I saw Mr Poźnan on the morning of The Show.

His eyes are always twinkling and are a watery blue like Auntie Glad’s, 

And he always has a gentle smile on his face, even when his hip pained him, as he walks

His rhubarb, as it turned out, was a winning class, which tickled him and his wife

Before judging, he gently held my elbow and guided me to a quiet corner of the hall.

He was serious and straight to the point

And how I didn’t cry then and there , God only knows

“ I hear your job is under threat ? he whispered with only a hint of accent “ do you need any money?”

I looked at him silently and his blue eyes nodded “ Just say and it’s yours” he added kindly 

I could only smile awkwardly, my lips tight and sensing my emotion , 

He squeezed my elbow and whispered again

“ Your trousers are inside out by the way “ 

And he was right, my trendy linen pants from Madrid were indeed inside out 

La leyenda del beso / Intermedio - Grupo Talía

I’ve not shown this video before as it didn’t feature the lisping choir …it’s it’s a masterclass in Spanish zarzuela

I was in the audience for this, and I can tell you the hairs on the back of my head were raised throughout

It’s hot today, around 30 degrees. I’ve cleaned the cottage after sleeping a few hours and braved the cat litter tray with a heavy heart and a stomach lining in my gullet.

Weaver is out hunting. 

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I caught her trying to pull a dead buffalo through the cat flap one day. Bun is curled up on my bed clutching a sock

How the two girls are so different never ceases to amaze me.

Mary has bald patches after her phantom pregnancy and Roger has learned to squeeze himself through the cat flap but unfortunately only outwards rather than inwards

No news today

Porto Goodbye

 One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen recently 

The medical students from Porto University saying goodbye to their training city

Thank You

 No real blog today, just a thank you to animal helper Pat , ( for the beans) , The Manley’s ( for muffins with homegrown blueberries and handmade card) and to I’m presuming Eirlys ( for the eggs left on the kitchen wall)…I’m meeting Andrew from well street for a drink in the Crown ( under new management )

Stress

 I can’t seem to settle at anything at the moment. The deadline for voluntary redundancies is four days away  and so my colleagues and I have to live with the uncertainty  until then and beyond.

I’m not sleeping well and I don’t feel like writing the blog 

I feel lethargic and out of sorts .

Of course things divert me for a while The Gilded Age has proved a slow burn of a watch with Bertha Russell’s social climb in 1890s New York and the sudden arrival of the dishy English Duke Hector ( Ben Lamb) 

I may omit posts these next few days…until I know what my employment fate it

Hey ho

Temen Oblak - "Dark Clouds"

Sometimes as a nurse, you are lucky enough to work with a sister wiho has compassion and sense.

On intensive care , two decades ago, I worked with such a sister.

My patient was a Young man who was dying
He was ventilated and sedated and looked asleep save for closed eyes which were kept shut by two large foam square dressings ( if you have a patient with half opened eyes their eyes can dry out and can be damaged through lack of moisture )

My job was to prepare his family for his death and to return the ventilator to its basic settings which would allow the patient to gently fade away from his overwhelming illness

The sister let me work at my own pace but as his parents sat down hand in hand , she whispered “ John make sure his eye pads are removed”…
I nodded without quite understanding, but trusting her I complied immediately …..

And moments later, my patent slowed his breaths with dignity and I will always remember his mother crying out quietly
“ I can see my boy , I can see my boy again”

That sister taught me the importance of allowing relatives to see their loved ones without the barrier of dressings and masks and the like.

To see the person as they know them , devoid of the many trappings of intensive care

And those words of “ I can see my boy again” will always be with me until the end of my nursing career