Sometimes as a nurse, you are lucky enough to work with a sister wiho has compassion and sense.
On intensive care , two decades ago, I worked with such a sister.My patient was a Young man who was dying
He was ventilated and sedated and looked asleep save for closed eyes which were kept shut by two large foam square dressings ( if you have a patient with half opened eyes their eyes can dry out and can be damaged through lack of moisture )
My job was to prepare his family for his death and to return the ventilator to its basic settings which would allow the patient to gently fade away from his overwhelming illness
The sister let me work at my own pace but as his parents sat down hand in hand , she whispered “ John make sure his eye pads are removed”…
I nodded without quite understanding, but trusting her I complied immediately …..
And moments later, my patent slowed his breaths with dignity and I will always remember his mother crying out quietly
“ I can see my boy , I can see my boy again”
That sister taught me the importance of allowing relatives to see their loved ones without the barrier of dressings and masks and the like.
To see the person as they know them , devoid of the many trappings of intensive care
And those words of “ I can see my boy again” will always be with me until the end of my nursing career
When I saw Ray after he died, he still had the strap that holds the ventilation mouthpiece in place. That wasn't great and when I and a friend viewed his body before cremation, the mark had stayed on his face where the strap like thing was. I didn't complain but perhaps I should have. It would have been so simple to remove it. It can be very minor things when someone dies, as you described well.
ReplyDeleteOh, you've made me cry again! Yes, the last image of a loved one is the one that remains. If they look peaceful, it must help to ease the pain a little. xx
ReplyDeleteI used to work in a Neonatal unit , one tiny baby was clearly in his last hours . I remember battling with a doctor to let me me take some of his “ tubes “ out and let his parents cuddle him in his last hours . I succeeded , I wanted them to remember him wrapped in a blanket in their arms
ReplyDeleteI remember my mother wearing a mask with tubing in her nose. After she died and the staff had confirmed her death they took away the mask and left the tubing in her nose. That is how I remember my mother on her death bed. It was not a pretty sight.
ReplyDeleteAnd consequently my last memories of her are was than pleasant.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve got me wet-eyed again John, and you too Sue E. Those final minutes with loved ones do stick. I’ve nursed til the end both parents, in-laws and my dearest aunt, and the final goodbyes are etched into my memory.
ReplyDeleteThat was a weepie.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot more to nursing than changing bandages and taking temperatures.
ReplyDelete