Lockdown

 I was just downloading some information on ethics and counselling when the librarian hurried up behind me and hissed “ Go to your classroom now “ 

She had chivvied several students ahead of her and Donna whispered “ It’s a lockdown “ into my ear. 

We hurried into our classroom where the tutor closed the door and turned off the lights.

We were ushered into a corner of the room, away from prying eyes

Only then did we realised that it was a test. 

Sadly all colleges , schools and University campus’ now have to have this training. Not only from lone gunmen but also from knife assault 

I’ve just been looking at the stats

And they are worrying

That will do…….

 

I’ve added the same scene this evening, which looks nicer

Rearranging the furniture is always therapy 

The living room is now cosier with the sofa facing the log burner and the radiator now free to do it’s job.

I’m sorting through piles of stuff for university tomorrow 

That’s a big job in itself.

I almost bought a replica New York snow globe to replace the one broken by the dogs  and I actually found one on line but stopped short of buying it.

Do I really need another? I asked myself 

Nostalgia? Sentiment? A clinging onto the past all wrapped up in a romanticised New York scene, covered with snowy water

I dried the bits of the globe that remained , the plastic New York skyscrapers and the Statue of Liberty only millimetres high, and the squat little Brooklyn Bridge and I set them up to the paper Sagrada Familia on my desk. 

That will do, I said to myself That will do……………

Postscript

As we turned at the end of the lane

There it was 

A magnificent rainbow over Trelawnyd 

I stopped looking at it for an age , and Roger searched the sky to see what I was gazing at

He sat down to ponder

I’ve had shitty days 

Many over the last few years 

But there’s always a rainbow 

Waiting in the wings …..

In the shape of a friendly text, a jar of jam, a box of soup 

A kind word 

And a bunch of flowers

The real Rainbow was the icing on the cake

Sunday

 I’ve spent the day quietly. 

I made a late lunch of  salmon covered in dill yogurt with roasted new potatoes spiced with home made harissa.

I will treat myself to a McFlurry later, it only takes a few minutes to get one.

I’m in my pjs and have been all day.

I noticed that all of the 20 mph signs in the village have been defaced.

The village website is filled with keyboard warriors shouting the odds about it all.

 My twin sister called around with more flowers. Like my elder sister did yesterday, she also bought me some Italian food . A selection of antipasto! ( my family loves ironic humour) 

I had run out of vases so used my kimchi jar to house the sunflowers

The velvet voiced Linda left me some soup on the kitchen wall,which was kind and I’ve had many messages of commiseration  which is sweet, some of me feels I should feel sick

But of course I don’t 

Lywenna sent me some jam ,,perched by the front door.

I rearranged the living room furniture ( a favourite pastime of middle aged gay men), shampooed the carpet free of the contents of my beloved New York snow globe which had been broken when I was in London  😢 and have drunk several buckets of tea 

It’s blustery and feels like autumn 

I’m watching Ocean’s 11 

It’s a classy watch 

Bra straps

 Yesterday’s shenanigans have left me thoughtful and a little upset.     

Upset, because I was already nervous about travelling alone and this incident has unnerved me greatly and has zapped my confidence. Ok I know all of the platitudes, and at least it was in London and not Rome, but that’s not the point. 

I spoke to Nu and I feel better because of it. 

She forwent the platitudes and just listened.

Having an emergency alone isn’t very much fun

Thank you all for your comments ,

I’m grateful for your concern.

Yesterday was horrid, but all of the people involved were kind. From the woman who cleaned my bloody face with a towel to the Muslim woman and her husband who accompanied me to the ambulance, I saw nothing but concern yesterday. The airport staff were second to none and today located my hand baggage which had been handed in and will have it sent to be here and the Registrar who dealt with me yesterday had to be pushed to discharge me only because she was being kind keeping me, knowing that I lived in Wales and not London. 

My sister has just popped up too, ironically with a pasta supper, and although concerned found that my losing a shoe at the point of collapse very funny…..funnily enough so did I 

I’ve done a few nice things this afternoon to compensate . I made stew and dumplings, cut roses from the rebloomig rose Bush in the front garden and bought a string of light up dinosaurs from Tesco which I hung over the fireplace 

The stew, roses and dinosaurs all look cheerful.

Fuck

 I joked with my sister that I wouldn’t get to Rome , given the fiasco of the post lockdown flight cancellations , and what do you know, I fucking didn’t 

In the line for security, I collapsed ( fainted ) onto the man and his wife  and their luggage in front of me.

I remember nothing of this  but a sudden hot feeling and then faraway voices , concerned and shouting.

I bit my tongue which bled all over, banged my head and I wet myself ( my bladder was playing up)

It was awful.

Awful.

Awful.

Medics on bikes arrived and a woman wiped my face with a cold wet towel 

One of my shoes had come off.

I felt better when the ambulance men arrived but I was taken to Ashford A&E anyway just after 9 am

I knew the routine but it was still all rather scary, X-rays, blood and urine tests , blood sugars, ECG the works. There was mention of a seizure but that reporting seemed vague. 

I talked to the registrar forcibly and was discharged

A support worker had my trousers washed which was kind

My small suitcase is missing,

I thought it was with the ambulance men as the woman with the towel told me that my bags were safe.

Someone at the airport will text me when it’s found, and it will be couriered to me

I want home

Old Friend

 

“ Hello !” The text pinged as soon as I sat down on the seat.

I think there’s only one straight through to London train from North Wales and that’s the 13.59 from Prestatyn 

My friend Tina was sat just behind me, we used to work together but she now works at a different hospice

She’s a Romany Gypsy and has more interesting tales in her on a bad day than Agatha Christie on a good day

I miss working with her as she has a earthy, easy  laugh and a voice like Eartha Kitt

She’s off at Crewe so I managed a somewhat overheard gossip with her until Chester.

I’m staying in London tonight, and travelling to Rome in the morning. I’m flying via London to maximise my mini break, tonight I will get a last minute ticket to something, or I may go to the Curzon to see a film if there’s anything good on. 

I’ve just told Tina, that I’m like the mum of three doggy toddlers….I love them, but it’s lovely to have an adult day away from them once in a while. 

She reads the blog and knows this 

Thank God for the Alf’s and Karen’s of this world

 Rather reflective today,

I had a sleep this afternoon and the dogs picked up on my mood immediately  and crowded around quietly and without bickering.

We slept from 2 pm until 5 pm and I missed a vets appointment and a pharmacy visit.

I will do that in the morning

I had a phone call this morning from an older lady who couldn’t use the mobile phone that well. 

I didn’t know her but I knew her daughter Sue

We had been psychiatric nurses and friends together back in the day

Sue died a few days ago after a long and very private battle with breast cancer.

I didn’t even know that she was ill.

She lived in Newcastle and our friendship was one concentrated upon a long and detailed letter once a year and texts, usually referring to 80s comic one liners, films we have loved and reviews of theatre trips we had embarked on.

My last text from her was in The end of July when she sent me this 

I texted back Are U Ok ? 

And received the 👍

That was her last message to me and mine to her.

Her mother was tearful and a bit flummoxed 

She is in her 90s and lives alone now.

I asked her if she had any help and was told that Alf and Karen have been very good

Thank God for the Alfs and Karen’s of this world

She told me derails of the funeral and said that Sue had left me a painting of hers

A watercolour of the River Ouse towards Acomb. 

We shared a flat for a short time just outside York

I haven’t even got a photo of Sue. I had a check this afternoon. I can’t even remember what she sounded like 

I felt bad about that

Ive been out on a walk to the fields beyond the lane 

And had a cry