Fuck

 I joked with my sister that I wouldn’t get to Rome , given the fiasco of the post lockdown flight cancellations , and what do you know, I fucking didn’t 
In the line for security, I collapsed ( fainted ) onto the man and his wife  and their luggage in front of me.
I remember nothing of this  but a sudden hot feeling and then faraway voices , concerned and shouting.
I bit my tongue which bled all over, banged my head and I wet myself ( my bladder was playing up)
It was awful.
Awful.
Awful.
Medics on bikes arrived and a woman wiped my face with a cold wet towel 
One of my shoes had come off.
I felt better when the ambulance men arrived but I was taken to Ashford A&E anyway just after 9 am
I knew the routine but it was still all rather scary, X-rays, blood and urine tests , blood sugars, ECG the works. There was mention of a seizure but that reporting seemed vague. 
I talked to the registrar forcibly and was discharged
A support worker had my trousers washed which was kind
My small suitcase is missing,
I thought it was with the ambulance men as the woman with the towel told me that my bags were safe.
Someone at the airport will text me when it’s found, and it will be couriered to me

I want home

114 comments:

  1. Ooh dear John, what a terrible ordeal for you. I'm glad you were taken care of and will be quickly on the mend. Rome will wait.
    Hugs,
    ~Jo

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  2. Home is best for now. You need a stress free break ((0))

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  3. Anonymous9:25 pm

    Oh John, your wellbeing is more important than Rome right now. I hope you will find the cause and get back home soon. Glad that you were well looked after. Hugs. Gigi

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  4. OMG, so scary and awful! At least it happened in public where people could see your illness and attend to you immediately with medical assistance. I hope there will be no repeat now that you are safely at home again with the dogs!

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  5. Oh no! Please be kind to yourself, rest, and see your GP as soon as possible. Rome will wait for you.
    Hugs.

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  6. I'm so sorry, John. I hope you find out just what's up and meantime have a quiet home time. You need rest.

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  7. Anonymous9:48 pm

    The F word is more than appropriate. If a seizure you won't be allowed to drive for at least 6 months I think. Hopefully not. Hopefully "just" a faint. Will they tell you? I've had my own medical disaster this week. Different but similar. I've decided to care only for myself for a while. You should probably do that too. This life is a shit-show, often. Andrew (But crises can pass...) x

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  8. I'm sorry to hear this, John. Hope you will feel better soon. xx

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  9. Oh John.......... sending love x

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  10. Anonymous10:03 pm

    What an awful experience for you... and I'm annoyed for you that you missed your trip. Being home with the dogs is the best possible place for you. Hope you are feeling better!

    Jo in Auckland

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  11. I'm hoping you are home soon; I think no matter what, I always feel better at home, surrounded by my pets. I know you'll get checked out and get to the bottom of this. Lots of love from Ohio. ♥

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    Replies
    1. Oh my god....I just read your post from yesterday. You were looking for a break from the dog gang. Well, I still think you'll feel better no matter what once you're home.

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  12. Oh my goodness, what a scare. I hope you're feeling better, even with the trip off.
    Please take care.

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  13. Anonymous10:12 pm

    Sending wellness thoughts and wishing you a speedy diagnosis. Take care.

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  14. Joan (Devon)10:18 pm

    What a nightmare for you! Take care of yourself and see your GP asap.

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  15. Oh my, I'm glad you're ok and hopefully will figure it out. Anyone who starts a blog with 'Fuck' is a friend of mine:)

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  16. Oh John! Presumably the A&E will send reports to your GP? You need all the tests that can be run. Rome can wait. Taking care of yourself cannot.

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  17. Oh John, please take care. I have had something similar mine was a low blood sugar issue.
    I am so sorry this has happened to you. Take care and as others have said, Rome will wait.
    JC

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  18. Anonymous10:41 pm

    OMG.What a fright.Definitely needs investigation.Hopefully it doesn’t put you off doing any more travelling.
    Barbarax

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  19. Oh my, John. I hope you're all right now and closer to figuring out what went wrong. Blood sugar? So sorry you'll miss your trip to Rome but more important is your health. Please take care.

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  20. Anonymous10:55 pm

    Oh no! My husband blacked out twoce, and it turned out to be low blood pressure due to medication with a diuretic in it. I saw him go one time. He was like a felled tree. Terrifying! A med switch and he's fine. Hopefully same for you. Tina in west oz

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  21. Anonymous11:12 pm

    Terrifying. Being sick away from home just sucks, and something like this seems especially frightening. At least you weren't in the air.....Job's comforter, that's me.

    Ceci

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  22. Oh John! This breaks my heart, so disappointing. I worried when you didn't post the trademark John cup of coffee in the hotel today. So sorry. You must take care of yourself.

    love

    lizzy

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  23. And I thought you were safely in Rome, enjoying the city. OMG. Shocking. What a fright. At least you are ok and hopefully the emergency testing will get to the bottom of what caused this sudden collapse. Rest easy and get better soon.

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  24. Anonymous11:53 pm

    I’m so sorry! I hope you are ok and can re-arrange your travel plans. Lynn Ewing

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  25. Anonymous11:58 pm

    I suppose it's a good thing that you didn't make it to Rome, after all, given that you fainted for no apparent reason and might have found yourself dealing with a medical system with which you were not familiar. But it appears that you checked yourself out of the emergency room against medical advice, before they were able to complete their assessment. I don't understand why you would do that, given that ERs are able to conduct a number of tests and imaging procedures rapidly and, perhaps, get to the root of the problem in relatively short order. At least, compared to how long it might take to discover the cause of the incident, when having to traipse back and forth between various doctors' offices, specialists and imaging centers over a period of weeks or months. Of course, it could be that you already know what's going on, in which case checking yourself out would make sense. Wishing you well, John.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:53 am

      John always knows best! More medical knowledge than the whole of the NHS! Wasted time for all thise hard working NHS staff.

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    2. Yorkshire Liz5:13 pm

      Oh look, here you are again, determined to turn everything into a bitch fest because apparently you know better than anyone else about everything. How wonderful you, and only you, must think you are. Tell you what, come and have a go at me and give John a rest for a change. Or perhaps not going for women but only gay men is your thing? And you come here for free therapy? Yeah, that sounds about right you poor wee soul.

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  26. Oh no! I am so very sorry to hear this. Take care John!!! ❤

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  27. Oh, John. I am SO SORRY this happened to you. Please take care of yourself! Hugs to you.

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. Oh dear. What a disaster. Try not to relive it over and over because it is actually over. Hope you feel better soon.

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  30. Sansthing12:49 am

    So sorry John, what a difficult experience. I do hope all is well.

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  31. I am sorry this happened to you. I think your body may be telling you to care of yourself.

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  32. Oh, John. That would be terrifying and awful too. I am sure you do want home, but I am so sorry about Rome.

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  33. Anonymous1:00 am

    How I hate reading this. I hope you are home now and resting. Jackie

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  34. Anonymous1:09 am

    Scary occurrence, sounds like you had good folks around you. Rome has been there for thousands of years, it will be there when you get to it. It is disappointing. Get well and re-plan! Jen

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  35. Damn John, that's awful! Please keep us informed of how you are doing on your recovery. Don't worry about Rome, it'll be there when you're better.

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  36. So sorry this happened for you! Hope you are feeling fine now ( though your tongue probably hurts!). Take care. - Jenn

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  37. I would rather hear about cancelled flights than you having a medical event.

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  38. weaver3:00 am

    John - REST REST REST. Walk the dogs. Walk round your garden. Learn to relax and stop trying to do everything!!! Much love. xx

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  39. What a shocking and frightening incident. I hope all the tests will show you are well. Best best wishes for a swift recovery.

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  40. Oh No!! How scary. The only good side is that at least it didn't happen in the air, or even worse in back street in Rome!
    Do keep us posted - I'm praying it's something simple to adjust with a very small pill once a day.
    Can you claim recompense via your travel insurance? That'd help too.
    Meanwhile, take it easy.

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  41. What a shock for you. They say doctors and nurses make the worst patients - but PLEASE be a good patient, rest and get everything checked out! I hope you feel better very soon, and find out what caused it. Rome will still be there when you're fit and well. Hugs. xx

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  42. And there was I expecting your first day report from Rome. You poor thing, it all sounds like a nightmare. I hope you now spend a week simply relaxing at home. Best wishes.

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  43. ANAMARIA Bradley4:55 am

    How scary! You must find out why! We send best wishes, for a quick recovery, I’m glad you were still home and not in a strange place, 🧡

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  44. Mr Man.... Take Care of Your Self... Please

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  45. Only good thing is, as everyone is saying, - that you were not on the flight or alone abroad when it happened. I can identify with desperately wanting to be home! What an absolute nightmare and I am so sorry.

    I hope the cause is found as it may not just be overdoing things. Curl up with the dogs in your safe place at home and feel better soon.

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  46. OMG, I'm so sorry and glad you're doing better now. I'd want to be Home too, going thru any Health Crisis away from Home makes it so much more complex. Hugs and Healing Energies... I do Hope they find the cause.

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  47. Agree with Weaver, Rest ! Walk in your garden, relax with your dogs, fresh air and sunshine, this too will pass. Healing Wishes x

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  48. Hope you've had a good night's sleep and are feeling better for it. Take it easy.

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  49. We are all of one mind, just rest and stop rushing around doing things. Just be you. xxx

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  50. Anonymous6:12 am

    Take care John, look after yourself. Rome will be there for another day.

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  51. Anonymous6:14 am

    How awlful for you. Opened your blog half expecting a report from Rome saw the headline and started swearing myself as thought it was flight problems. As others have said glad you got prompt attention and help, go easy on yourself, Rome will be there for another day, bask in the beauty of your lovely self created home and the cuddles from your dogs. Take care, thinking of you, noreen

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  52. Oh, John. So, so sorry this happened to you. Hope all will be well soon and you find your case. Look at all your comments. We care, and we're championing you. xx

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  53. I wish you get home safely and feel well again.

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  54. Oh John, I am so sorry this happened to you. So scary and disappointing about the trip. Take good care of yourself and plan the trip again in the near future. Hope you are feeling better and your suitcase is returned to you.

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  55. Oh John, I'm so sorry to be reading this. Thankfully you were able to get quick medical attention here instead of being ill in Rome. Get well soon xxx

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  56. Oh hellsbells. That must have been a nightmare for you, I am so sorry to read about this. Please please please look after yourself. Slow down and rest. Lots of love xxxx

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  57. Hope you are safely back home now. x

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  58. Well, everyone else has already said it but fuck indeed.

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  59. So sorry to hear this, how very frightening. Get well soon. Sally

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  60. Anonymous8:15 am

    So sorry must of been awful for you.Hope you feel better very soon rest and take care.
    Irene

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  61. Oh, shit shit SHIT! So sorry to read this. Arrivederci Roma. I hope you're much better. Vasovagal syncope?

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  62. Oh no, sorry to hear this. Rest well and look after yourself. x

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  63. Anonymous8:20 am

    So sorry! Hoping the best recovery for you. Olivia

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  64. Hell's bells! Things can only go up from here, can't they? - CAN'T they???? We DO hope so.

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  65. Anonymous8:39 am

    Bloody hell John, how traumatic, take care of you and sending you a bear hug. Jan in Castle Gresley

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  66. Gosh how scary. I hope you feel better and are resting now.

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  67. Anonymous8:50 am

    You forcibly spoke to the registrar? So you discharged yourself before the experts recommended, how stupid.
    Typical, you always think you know best.
    What a waste of the medical staffs time.

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    Replies
    1. Yorkshire Liz9:13 am

      Do try and explain to us - and to yourself - why you so much enjoy being so cruel to others, especially when in extremis? Would you really enjoy it as much if this was the way other people treated you?

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    2. Traveller9:37 am

      Sorry John, I know you said don’t engage, but this is an extreme situation…..
      Anonymous just FUCK OFF would you please!

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    3. What has happened to you, Anonymous, to make you so hateful? You must be a very unhappy person.

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    4. Anonymous1:43 pm

      I don't think this anonymous realizes that it is now possible to easily track an anonymous comment.

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    5. Oh anon, if you read my latest entry you will now understand that the registrar wanted me to stay in only because I didn’t live locally and I was alone . It was not for any real clinical need and I really appreciated it. I was in a bed someone else could have used better and I said so…she agreed

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  68. Wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery. The only possitive l can add is that it was probably better it happened before departure rather than in a foreign airport, esp as we are out of the EU now. Trying cup half full here John, best wishes mate, Tess x

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  69. Anonymous9:07 am

    Wishing you all the very best John. Hope you get some answers very soon and are feeling better being home. Sending you a big hug <3 Sharon x

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  70. Yorkshire Liz9:21 am

    John, get well soon! Much fellow feeling from here! There has to be something in the air, sweetheart. After owning dogs and riding horse all my life, for the first time ever I was tripped up by leads last week when the dogs crossed over in front of me as I was negotiating the four steps down from my back door.
    I managed to get my hands under me to save my face from the worst, but currently have two sprained wrists, a grazed knee and left leg, bruised ribs, bit through my bottom lip, and a huge gouge over my left eyebrow where my specs broke and the detached arm turned into a stab attack. The bruises at the moment are sensational, and would be guaranteed to frighten small children and those of a nervous disposition.
    I should have been on holiday visiting family this week....spent my time cursing and groaning and watching the rain fall. So have been doing the only thing I could, catching up on favourite old films, and a daily dose of sunshine and hope called Red, White And Royal Blue. So take a breath, you, and sort this out soon. God bless!

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    1. Oh my gosh! Pets can be unintentionally dangerous. Someone I worked with tripped over her cat and down the stairs.. She looked like she got worked over by a gang of thugs. Get well soon you poor baby!!!

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    2. Yorkshire Liz5:06 pm

      Thank you for your kind words, Linda. I too look like I have been worked over by a gang of thugs. I never trip over things like trailing leads and dangling girth straps, abd my dogs have been so apologetic they have made me feel really guilty on their behalf. But on the mend; no broken bones or broken teeth. A small miracle, as I hope John's recovery will be. God bless you for your thought.

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  71. Oh John, so very sorry to read this, how awful and scary.
    I hope that you are home now and resting. Rome will still be there, visit another time. All good wishes to you.

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  72. Anonymous9:32 am

    Oh how awful get well soon.

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  73. Anonymous9:49 am

    So sorry to hear this John, hope you get well soon Blods xx

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  74. Hope you are better quickly and that it wasn't a seizure.

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  75. Sorry you went through this John, very scary and although I find anon., a spiteful, nasty individual, I think you SHOULD have remained in hospital until all possible tests had been run, better to get it all over and done in one. Be safe and look after yourself, Italy will wait.

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  76. Oh god. What a disaster. I feel for you. Rome will still be there when you are ready again.

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  77. Oh, that's awful! Not so much that your trip was messed up, but, how are you feeling so poorly that you passed out? Did the bladder stuff turn into a kidney infection? None of my business. Wishing good health for you!

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  78. What a bloody nightmare. Hope it is just a blip and nothing more.

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  79. Oh John, take care of yourself.

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  80. Anonymous12:18 pm

    How totally awful. I’m glad you got some good help. Hope your case shows up. Take care of yourself. Jean in Winnipeg.

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  81. I hope there's nothing too sinister going on and you can be back to normal very soon!

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  82. You poor chap! Hope you're feeling better soon.

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  83. John. This must have been so frightening. You've been pushing the envelope pretty darn hard lately. May you be well.

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  84. Oh, how awful! And scarey! Maybe it was the excitement of a long awaited vacation. So glad you are ok, but a real bummer for the vacation. Hope you find the bag.

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  85. so sorry to hear this, i hope you soon feel better xx

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  86. Hugs , dear one. Rome is still there. Home is home though.

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  87. We breathlessly await your next report stating that it was only a small though disappointing glitch and you are fine! xoxox Kate

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  88. Flipping flip! I hope you feel much better soon.
    You'll have another opportunity to go, I'm sure. Xx

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  89. Oh no! I'm so sorry! If you need anything in London or any assistance at all please contact me. You have my e-mail.

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  90. Anonymous2:54 pm

    So sorry to read this and hoping you're recovering and home x Jane

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  91. Bloody hell! That's not good. Hope you are ok x

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  92. Anonymous3:19 pm

    John, thinking of you - concerned. Will be checking all day - hoping this is just a little burp. What an experience for you! Hugs & all the best from the base of the mini-mountain in Maine. Regina xox

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  93. John, I'm so sorry to read this! I hope you are feeling better. Also, better that it happened in England rather than elsewhere. So much easier to deal with, and to get home. Sending love.

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  94. Anonymous5:14 pm

    Sorry to hear about this, hope you are feeling better soon and hopefully get some answers. Take care of yourself. Lynda x

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  95. Wow so many comments
    Thank you all for your kindness xx

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  96. So...not to be nosy, but your body passed out for a reason. I hope you are following up on that shit. Some day, I will make it to Wales. When that happens, I will expect a big hug from you. And now I sound like a stalker. Sending you good thoughts and health!


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    Replies
    1. My blood work was ok…as was my heart trace and glucose levels ….who knows

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  97. Hope you are feeling better this evening, John. Not a nice experience for you , I am sending good wishes xx

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  98. Oh John, I'm so sorry that this happened. I hope you are feeling a little better now. x

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  99. Anonymous1:45 am

    And here I was in North Carolina worried about a hurricane bearing down on us when I should have been thinking of you dear John. Do take care, get well, and know we are pulling for you and hoping it’s nothing that will keep you prone on the sofa smothered in dogs for too long.
    Try ‘box breathing’ - always brings relief when anxious.
    Mary & Bob💞

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  100. Oh I hope you are feeling better. What a scary thing to happen. Please take care.

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  101. Anonymous8:26 am

    Hope you’re doing ok John and feeling better x

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  102. Anonymous5:30 pm

    A horrible experience , I don't blame you discharging yourself , its much better to get home safely or to a hotel nearer home in daylight hours . I hope you soon feel better x

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