Rather reflective today,
I had a sleep this afternoon and the dogs picked up on my mood immediately and crowded around quietly and without bickering.
We slept from 2 pm until 5 pm and I missed a vets appointment and a pharmacy visit.
I will do that in the morning
I had a phone call this morning from an older lady who couldn’t use the mobile phone that well.
I didn’t know her but I knew her daughter Sue
We had been psychiatric nurses and friends together back in the day
Sue died a few days ago after a long and very private battle with breast cancer.
I didn’t even know that she was ill.
She lived in Newcastle and our friendship was one concentrated upon a long and detailed letter once a year and texts, usually referring to 80s comic one liners, films we have loved and reviews of theatre trips we had embarked on.
My last text from her was in The end of July when she sent me this
I texted back Are U Ok ?
And received the 👍
That was her last message to me and mine to her.
Her mother was tearful and a bit flummoxed
She is in her 90s and lives alone now.
I asked her if she had any help and was told that Alf and Karen have been very good
Thank God for the Alfs and Karen’s of this world
She told me derails of the funeral and said that Sue had left me a painting of hers
A watercolour of the River Ouse towards Acomb.
We shared a flat for a short time just outside York
I haven’t even got a photo of Sue. I had a check this afternoon. I can’t even remember what she sounded like
I felt bad about that
Ive been out on a walk to the fields beyond the lane
And had a cry
Ouch John, your pain is so obvious and so sad. Maybe tomorrow you will feel the good times you had with Sue were worth every precious moment, sending you a big hug🙏. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteI’m not too sad just touched
DeleteSo sorry. It feels so important to remember faces and voices of friends we've lost. That may come back though, in a while. Meanwhile I'm so glad her mom has helpers.
ReplyDeleteYes, life is so unfair. It's all wrong for children to die before their parents.I'm glad your friend's Mum has someone to keep an eye on her. How lovely of Sue to remember you with a painting, that will find a warm welcome in your home. Her face and voice will probably come to you when you least expect it. xx
ReplyDeleteI hope so
DeleteSo sad, and her poor Mum. It's not in the right order of things to bury a child. I've lost serveral friends from the past over the last year, and it's like a chipping away, not close, but still personal.
ReplyDeleteI get that feeling, totally
DeleteI am sorry to hear about your friend.
ReplyDeleteVictoria Wood certainly had a way with words.
She did and was another woman who had a private death
DeleteLife is never fair John is it? The trouble is that to keep our own sanity we just must not let ourselves dwell on it. Chin up and carry on dear heart. x
ReplyDeleteI’m not dwelling pat, I just feel rather touched and sad that it was a battle she took without anyone bar her close family knowing
DeleteAnother peer gone, that’s scared me
That is very sad but touching that she wanted you to have something of hers. Life is mean at times. Hugs noreen
ReplyDeleteYes I was incredibly touched by the painting
DeleteMy sympathy in the unexpected loss of your friend Sue. It's a dign of what your friendship meant to her that she has left you one of her paintings.
ReplyDeleteYes, thank God for the Alfs and Karens of this world who are helping Sue's mother.
Hugs!
What can I say that you don't already know.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the pain. Thank you for writing about it.
Do your vets charge for missed appointments
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure , probably yes
DeleteI just sent an email to a friend that I hadn't heard from in a year, I should reach out more often.
ReplyDeleteWe all should
DeleteFriendships at work are concentrated. Of our outside-of-work friends, how many do we spend hours in a row, five days a week? A man I taught with for ten years died recently and even though it's also been ten years since I last saw him, I was a bereft as though a brother had died - which is actually what he was to me in our working years.
ReplyDeleteA good point Marty and one we don’t think enough about
DeleteI’m a little older than you but I get your tears
ReplyDeleteSo many contemporaries of mine have passed away recently ,
I’m next I keep thinking, I’m next .
Keith
Xx
I get that
DeleteI'm glad her mother let you know and the Sue left you a gift. That's comforting for you.
ReplyDeleteOff topic John.... but just saw a Dominican cloister which is entered from the Piazza del Minerva. One of Rome's secret places , hope you find it, it's spectacular.
ReplyDeleteSorry John, I've a memory like a sieve and commented quickly before I forgot the correct address, without reading your post. Very sorry you had such sad news.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry John, Hugs Tricia x
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about not remembering what she sounded like. Forgetting certain things is just what Life does to us as we pass through it.........and when you hang her painting then raise a glass to her and smile x
ReplyDeleteSorry, John. But Libby (above) says it well. Raise that glass and remember the fun times.
ReplyDeleteThe painting she left for you will remind you of good times and I suspect that is what she intended. A life cut short is always sad.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Sue.....and even more that you were not able to know of it and offer comfort.....tho I trust she knew well of your fondness for her. Now,.....you offer solace to her Mother.... and bless her for leaving you a piece of her art.......she loved you as well. May that bring YOU some solace
ReplyDeleteSusan M.
I'm sorry. We always seem to think that nothing changes, but it does, and it is always a bit of a shock when it does.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, I'm sorry, John. I've lost many friends, and each causes me moments of remembrance and pause, thinking of how our lives intertwined. We press on, best we can. Take care, my good friend.
ReplyDelete❤️
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad story about Sue -- my condolences. I'm sure her elderly mother must be devastated by this turn of events. I'm glad she has someone else to help her in her vulnerable years. I suspect Sue made sure of that before her death.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss John, it's clear that you valued her friendship greatly. I have lost friends over the years but somehow we gather ourselves and carry on. We never forget them and they still have a presence. Certainly for me anyway. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYou write well your scenario and your feelings; they are good to read. I am glad too to see you are surrounded by Love in the comments.
ReplyDeleteIt's horrible when our friends (contemporaries) start dying. It makes us realise how fleeting life can be.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say I 'm sorry for you loss.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss, John. Sorry for her mum's loss as well. Can't imagine the pain she must be in.
ReplyDeleteI'm ever so sorry for the loss of your friend. My heart really goes out to her dear Mum. How kind of her to reach out and let you know. Sending a hug, Sharon x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry John. She was a part of your history and your life. A part of you. How brave she was. Am glad she left you the painting.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, John. Friends like that are the unspoken foundation of your life; there is no need to be touchy feely, or even in regular contact, just the knowledge they and you are still there for each other is vital, strong, unspoken. And when they leave this stage, they leave a small dark hollow in your soul. The important thing to remember is that you were travelling an important stretch of life's journey together, and that will always be cherished and never forgotten. And love the painting she has lft you.
ReplyDeleteSo nice that you did at least maintain that yearly connection. I'm not one who could keep that kind of diagnosis to myself. I have drunk champagne in the fast lane once or twice. Not anymore.
ReplyDeleteSending a big (((hug)))).
ReplyDeleteShe sent you a good message. And you can understand it now. It is difficult to remember people exactly..but something will trigger the memories. You had that connection and she thought of you. That is precious xx
Very touching post. So sad when children die before their parents. My brother died before my mum did and I thought she was never going to get over it. She was distraught. As for Victoria Wood, she was a genius who died far too soon, as did Caroline Aherne. Two giants of comedy who died in the same year. Love that Victoria Wood quote!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry for the loss of your friend, her mom must be devastated. How nice that she left you something meaningful to remember her by. gigi
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I'm glad Sue got to experience being loved by you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read of your friend’s death, I really felt for her mother too. I could feel her grief in what you wrote.
ReplyDeleteAs your friend Sue wrote, Life is not Fair. How lovely that she has left you a painting, clearly you were someone that was important to her. Jean in Winnipeg
Bless you John.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss John. It was a long time ago but you connected with Sue and she meant something to you. Her mother must be bereft. After all, parents are not meant to outlive their children.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for you John and all her family and friends.
ReplyDeleteBarbarax
One of my long time nurse friends spent a year off sick from work. She told everyone including her husband that it was severe back pain/problems. She was admitted to hospital in a collapsed state. She had a very end stage carcinoma of the breast and died three days later. She obviously knew what was going on- she was a nurse practioner. But told no one, about it. Work was a horrible and sad place for quite a while.
ReplyDeleteSome of my closest and dearest friends have been friends from work. I am sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this John. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, John. What a terrible surprise. I'm glad you'll have the painting to remember her.
ReplyDelete