Explain

 Today’s mood stemmed from a text I received from my friend Faisal who left for South Africa this morning

It was polite as Faisal always is and the message thanked me for my “friendship” and “ guidance” and “patience”.

I’m not known for my patience, that comment surprised me. 

Faisal is gay, but apart from turning up at our gay book club a few months ago ,never  really admitted he was to my face, having said that  he spent much of our conversations talking about and asking questions of my gayness. Something I let him do because it was obvious  easier for him to do so. 

We only met four times

He has now left the uk for an asexual if not “straight” lifestyle in rural South Africa with his parents and siblings . 

He is expecting an “ organised “ marriage too at some stage, and. made a point of telling me that marriages were more organised than arranged in his family

I missed the difference. 

He’s in his forties, and his family have reeled him back home again 

And as I hugged him goodbye I kissed him on the cheek and felt incredibly , incredibly sad I didn’t have him here for longer

Still Life/ Busy Life?

A still life , if ever I saw one

I’m waiting in my second favourite cafe in colwyn bay waiting to meet a friend

They are running late, 

I’m drinking coffee listening to my phone songs, and have left the dogs exhausted on the reading chair after their morning walk

I’m on holiday this week, though I have a study session to go to at work this afternoon and it’s college tomorrow. ( I passed my second assignment btw which is nice)

In between I’m meeting an old school friend for lunch, there’s Gay book club too and a Liverpool trip to see the oddly named A Thong For Europe with Colin, a comedy play about Eurovision. 

I’m catching up with old Trevor too at his new nursing home, going to the TCA ‘s sub committee meeting, sending out the window certificates and going to see a Spanish horror film Pearl which has a very limited run over here.

I feel oddly melancholic today, which is irritating. 

But it is what it is 

If my mood was musical this is what it would be

I’ve ordered more coffee and I can just now see my friend ambling along towards the cafe without a care in the world.

Heyho

The Night Of The 12th

 

I went to Chester this afternoon after exhausting the dogs on another long walk in Bishop’s Wood

I got there around 6pm and treated myself to pad Thai noodles at the Chester Market before cinema at the Storyhouse with friend Faisal , a day before he leaves for South Africa .

We went to see The Night Of The 12th an intelligent and unnerving version of a true crime case set in France where a country teenage girl Clara was burnt to death by an unknown attacker.

The case is taken over by new police chief Yohan (Bastien Bouillion ) who is an odd, intense character who finds verbal support somewhat of a challenge . His second in command Marceau ( Bouli Lanners) is a burnt out, about to be divorced, cop in so need of counselling support from his boss so things are not looking good as many suspects are unearthed but no progress is made with arrests .

The film is a fascinating journey looking at an in-depth , forensic but intimately unsuccessful investigation    and it explores the terrible toll a murder investigation actually has on its human participants , namely the police team involved, especially as no result is actually found.

Bouillan and Lanners

It’s a long story but I gave Faisal a chased kiss on the cheek  goodbye 

at the end of the evening 

So sad

Mindful

 I was never one for houseplants.

True, I have an aspidistra who is at least 40 years old and a flowering cactus almost that age , but these two are surviving more from luck than from design. 

Since lockdown I have collected houseplants and the best bit of advice I have had looking after them came from the postman, who one day complemented me on my collection.

When there’s a warmish rainstorm , put all of your plants outside for a long shower

It’s labour intensive , but it doesn’t half clean and nurture them

So that’s what I have done this morning. Set the plants in the rain and then returned them one by one when they were wet and really green again.

I know repetitive and somehow quite mindful.

This respective, mindless behaviour is a useful mechanism to employ when stress is in your life. I’ve always used it at work when things got too much to handle. I’ve gone to the drugs room to clean the drugs trays or move the laundry around or clean the dressing trolleys.

Washing dishes is a mindful chore too

It’s done with the above view of plants and flying gull and of pretty crockery and moving the plates and the knives from hot water to cold rinse let’s your mind unwind and slow down. 

My grandmother hated ironing clothes, she said that it “ slowed down the brain” 

Now it’s therapy

The Kindness Of Strangers

 

The film lecture and discussion was animated and informative. It was also fun and three hours flew by like a swift in summer. I was put into three break out groups , the last of which was dominated by a very chirpy lesbian from London who stopped us in our tracks by inviting us all to an on line meeting directly after the  class was over. Her reasoning was to celebrate the birthday of one of our “classmates” a chap called Paul whose 68th birthday it was today.

He’s on his own and if you you are free for a bit , grab what drink is in your fridge and pop along she yelled excitedly 

And that’s exactly what 35 of us did, much to Paul’s tearful surprise.

Various hastily opened bottles of wine, gins, a few coffees, and one very indulgent bottle of bubbly from a rather exuberant chap from Buxton were decanted and I found a tin of espresso martini in the fridge which I emptied into one of my antique champagne glasses before we logged in to meet again. 

Even the lecturer joined in and it was the silliest and sweetest thing I have done in a long time.

At one point Paul, ( who was a retired charity worker from Wimbledon ) made an impromptu speech sharing how depressed he had become over the winter and how cinema in particular had kept him going in the bleakest of moments and he asked us to raise our glasses when he quoted Jean luc Goddard and said“ Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world” 

And from all over the UK came the chink of glasses.

Film Nite

 This morning I took the first collection of money collected from the Memorial Windows to the clerk of the TCA at the Saturday coffee morning . 

As usual all the tables were full, and I could see as well as cake , there were homemade sausage rolls on the menu. 

Mrs Trellis put one in her handbag.

I said hello to a few people and collected another two sponsorships before coming home, I have an on line film course starting at 1pm.

The next event for the TCA Is a film night, which was the brainwave of Bridget who has secured a projector and a screen. Unfortunately I’m working night shift on the 29th but I will try and change it. 

(

It’s still cool but there is a bright blue sky over the village.

One of the ponies neighed at me when I got home .

Cuddle Time

Most evenings the trendy blue sofa is full of dogs, cat and me. 

It’s the nice part of animal ownership , where the pack quietly comes together for a bonding sleep, usually at the very end of the day when bellies are full and everyone is in need of a physical and psychological cuddle. 

Dogs remember their litter feelings , as much as we miss being cuddled as children 

Last night , I spent the evening FaceTiming friends as the pack dozed. 

I thank covid for this “new” phenomenon

Chatting when you can see the person you are talking to 

Is a great bonus when you live alone 

They are in the room with you! 

Always! 

On Saturday I’m taking part in an interactive zoom discussion / lecture on gay cinema. We had to share what films we would like to discuss and my suggestion of The Object of my affection has been accepted.

I’ve always loved the novel as well as the movie and how they views love 

This quote from the novel, I’ve always remembered and been touched by

"Often, what's most attractive about a person is that part they're trying hardest to conceal, that part they think is least likable. You find out about it and it becomes a secret bond between you, something you never talk about but hold close to your heart and are continually touched by"

My trip to Barcelona Is booked and sorted. I’m going with an old girlfriend which I know will be easy and fun and I hope I can book a cooking lesson on a Spanish cooking day I found through another friend. 

Like the dog’s cuddles, the break will be total therapy and will be totally embraced. 

I FaceTimed my friend and we giggled like schoolgirls about the holiday today.

It’s doing me good ….already

 

 

Pride and Prejudice

 

Pride and Prejudice *sort Of  was a bit of a romp last night.

A comedy version of Austin’s novel played from the perspective of five maids who Reinact the the lives of the Bennett family and their romantic connections with Wickham, Bingley and Darcy.

It’s clever and incredibly well acted and has comic timing to die for as the five leads play four of the Bennett sisters, and all the other main characters sans Mr Bennett who we only “see” silently sitting behind his newspaper.

The maid thing, is a loose connection as the novel is deftly covered from start to finish without much input from them. Mrs Bennett (Dannie Harris) is now detected as a potty mouthed, drunk with an east end accent where as Lizzie( Emmy Stonelake) is a buxom Welsh Nessa with hefty calves and who bursts into Carly Simons’ You’re so Vain when she meets Darcy for the first time.

So you get the idea

It’s all very silly, and well done.

But as the audience clapped away at the cast belting out  Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero, I couldn’t help thinking it was the froth that many audiences want right at this moment and although I laughed , I’d seen enough by the end of the first half.

So what today?

A bit of shopping, booking flights to Barcelona too…..it’s cold so I’m making soup  too.

Hey ho