Therapy

Yesterday afternoon there was a faint tap,tap,tap on the kitchen window.  Taps on the kitchen window that faces the lane are always from Trelawnyd-ites  Locals are always told they can get my attention that way.
It was a chap from Well Street and he was with his large and floppy footed setter dog.  I had suggested that they call around several months ago but I think he was embarrassed to do so... I was glad that had eventually turned up. Better late than  never. The setter is a nervous type and so, it must be said is the owner especially when other dogs are involved and so a vicious circle of anxiety and reciprocal agression had been set up when they walked around the village and met up with one of the 100 or so dogs that live here.
 I offered the dubious owner a bit of common sense dog therapy and yesterday he decided to give the winnie-therapy ago. The plan was simple He held his dog close when I brought Winnie out on her lead and I told him to loosen the tension of his lead and follow us. Winnie would take the lead and he would follow and down the lane and into the old churchyard we went.  At first  the settler held his head high and gazed nervously at Winnie waiting for a moment to lunge but Winnie  gave him a brief stare which said " oh do fuck off" and turned her back on him . She cant be doing with nervous dogs..... their skittishness is lost on her sanguine nature
 The setter's  nervous agression just had nowhere to go.  And so we walked, walked indian file around and around the Church with the setter following Winnie by a few inches much to the wide eyed astonishment of his owner.  After ten minutes the anxious setter looked as bored as Winnie with the whole situation whilst more importantly the owner had shed much of his own anxiety .
 It was as simple as that!!!!!
After we walked I told the owner that we should stop by the lytch gate and chat about bollocks in order tomakie the dogs wait until we were ready to go home.  I dont think he quite got it but the dogs understood for both yawned and stood bored as the Alpha males talked above them.
 Its not rocket science  Youve just got to think on a dog's  level   
     

Best Laid Plans

Eight people so far have shown an interest in the allotment.

I think that is a good start.

Weekends are traditionally a time to clear the weeds away.

Weekends have become something of a sad time, which is a habit I now need to change. I have always been used to my own company during the week, even when I was " married" such is the life of someone who has a partner who often worked elsewhere. But I always had the weekends in part or in entirety with someone else " there" 

Now the weekend can stretch and bore and remind a person that they are alone with only a nursing shift to bookend the days alone.

Mrs Trellis sort of told me off today when I alluded to it. 

She has been living alone for well over a decade, a fact she reminded me of kindly

She was as polite and as twittery as usual but the message in her conversation was clear

" Stop feeling sorry for yourself , you're not the only one" 

I've got a few things planned next week. Choir, work, a funeral, lunch out with a friend, Sams and next Sunday a trip to the cinema with the georgous Dave, I just need to add in a few more things in I guess.

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry........"
let's hope not

Resurrections

I've got laryngitis..not that it matters as it is so windy. You can't make out what I'm saying

So forgive the sound quality .....I've got an idea for the field this year.....this is a translation

I'm planning to open up the attotments again but instead of keeping the plots all for myself I aim to open them up to the village so anyone can have their own plot on loan .
No sub letting that's not allowed, but I think a few more fellow veg growers and the subsequent camaraderie will be a good step forward

Ps. D Hovestad.........thank you xxx

More virus

My solicitor is a sweet warm Welsh Woman .
She was wearing elasticated pants today and I wasn't sure if she was pregnant or just post Christmas
I'm full of a cold virus yet again and feel like shit, I'm on three nights this week.
Before I saw her I'd just bought some lem sip, vitamin c and a jigsaw from Aldi
How rock n roll
The last time I saw her, I followed our meeting with a contemplative and rather tearful  sit in the Cathedral in St Asaph
And today, she told me just how worried she was for me then
" You look like a different person today " she said kindly
I feel like shite , so I must have really have looked like shit back then.
I took winnie with me as the practice secretary has a bulldog.
During my meeting I left them both together sharing a packet of hoopla hoops as several selfies were being taken.
Bet I was still charged a hundred quid for the meeting!
Hey ho

Samaritans...Can I help You?

I answered the door to a small, rather unkempt lady who was leaning heavily on a stick
She looked remarkably like Jimmy Krankie and smelled very heavily of alcohol.
" Are You ok?" I asked her in my best samaritan voice
" I don't need to talk, I just need a piss " the woman coughed " I'm bursting" 
She obviously knew that we had a disabled toilet on the ground floor.
Beaten before I had even started I showed her to the loo which was only steps from the front door.
After a minute there came the unmistakable sound of buttocks slapping floor tiles followed by a big " OOOOFFFFFF ....FUCKING HELL......"
" Are you alright?! " I called out
" I've missed the toilet !!!" Came the plaintive cry
" Can I come in?" I asked, hoping to hell that I didn't have to
" I can't bloody well get up" was the muffled response.
I ventured inside
The inebriated lady had indeed missed the toilet but she and her insides had certainly not missed the floor so it was with a heavy heart and on tip toe that I managed to get her back on the loo in one piece    Whilst unravelling the loo roll like a demon in order to mop up the " leakage"
" I'm really pissed" the woman explained in lieu of an apology
I muttered "No shit Sherlock!" Helping her with her knickers !

Moments later she was on her way home, a lot damper but certainly lighter than when she arrived.
We are a public service

Bangers

Sometimes words are not enough

Choir

Back to choir tonight and it was joyous!
I was sooo glad to be back
We sang a version of the South African Nkosi Sikelel' lAfrica followed by the Welsh lullaby Cysgu di fly mhlentys tiws (Sleep my little Children) both of which are new to us
Choirmaster Jamie ( still sporting his 1940 RAF moustache) informed us that he wants us to sing in a massive community choir get together on the South Bank in London in the Autumn
How wonderful
I'm game .....

Julian And Sandy

The bantam cockerels who upped sticks from the Ukrainian Village last year are still doing well thanks to the collective support of the neighbours.
They sleep atop one of the yew trees in the Churchyard and walk over the Cottage in the morning to spend the day bumming scraps from Sailor John and Mandy and Trendy Carol further down the lane.
Occasionally they will sit on my bathroom window ledges if I leave the window wide open after one of those ( I'd give it a few minutes if I were you ) moments, much to the hysteria of Mary who still finds any hen fair game in the chase you /kill you stakes.
Another neighbour refers to the cockerels as Julian and Sandy then got all of a dither when he thought he was not being politically correct in front of me
I love when people get in a dither