An Invite


The day couldn't get any worse
But it did.......as shit days often do when you don't want them to.
I eventually had a very hot bath and breathed Vicks steam through a flannel over my face, which was nice.
I drank another lemsip with real lemon.
The phone went late afternoon, just after I had lit the Christmas Tree
It was Mrs Trellis, in her usual precise sing song voice
" I just wanted to invite you to share a mince pie and a glass of something one afternoon next week" she said carefully, enunciating every word with care
" I have a rather good sherry and the new range in the kitchen is ever so cosy" 
I started to think of some excuse or other when she added
"It would be lovely for me if you could come " and suddenly all of the day's shite was lifted away by the simple and sincere invitation  of a mince pie and a schooner of sherry.



"I'll shove that Celery Stick up yer........."



I'm not in the mood for bullshit today.
A heavy cold, headache and a run in with a rat run driver who refused to slow down in the lane this morning and almost ran over Albert set me up for a bollock morning which was capped off by more solicitor stress, a small dent in Bluebell where some old fart backed into her in Tesco's car park and finally a minor disagreement with George's groomers  about an uncharacteristic ally hairy tail.......
I should not have got out of bed

Glass Thingies!

Time for some national and international adulation! 
I'm full of cold after night shift so have to miss choir practice  but things have been brightened up by my sister dropping off my homemade glass Christmas decs
How talented am I? 




The Nativity ( alternative use of)


I have a friend called Ruth who I know regards nursing practice through very individualised eyes.
I havent spoken to her in an age but I am sure she will forgive me for sharing this nativity based post which underlines her humour and slight lack of professionalism.

Just before Christmas 1991 we nursed a new patient on our spinal injury ward. The patient was a young nurse from a busy inner city intensive care unit, I shall called her Siohban .A fitness fanatic, she had worked hard in the gym, and at work and typically had not eaten properly. In the middle of the night she had got up for a wee and had become dizzy due to low blood sugers. Unfortunately she had fallen down the stairs paralyzing herself from the chest down.
Siohban came from a large Irish catholic family who visited daily, and they were a family heavily dependent on the hope things would improve for their daughter, a daughter who allowed them to rub her with holywater that would never heal
Faced with her family's blind faith and the reality drummed into her by her career. Siohban finally shut down psychologically and more or less went into a coma or fugue state.
Sometimes this mental 'downtime' lasts mere hours but in Siohban's case hours turned into days and so a concerned Ruth took it unto herself to move things on a bit with the help of several wise men, a couple of wooden donkeys,6  sheep, a cow or two and Mary, Joseph and a fat baby jesus in a manger

" I found these in the store room" Ruth told me breathlessly unpacking a robust looking shepherd
...she was always breathless because she was overweight and always rushing, but she was also excited with an idea to gently bring Siohban back to the world of the living.
" Help me arrange these around her bed" Ruth gasped and like two giggling children we grouped the figures on and around Siohban's prostate figure, so still in her bed.
In sone strange way we found a devout catholic paralyzed patient being surrounded by nativity characters insanely funny.

In retrospect, the whole thing looked totally mad bordering on dreadful bad taste of the biggest order .... but it kind of worked snapping her out of her mental isolation .
Whether it was the giggling that made Siohban open her eyes or the fact a passing staff nurse asked us what the fuck were we up to, but open them she did and after she focused immediately upon the virgin mary looking at her with a benign smile and outstretched arms she swore at Ruth with the practiced ease only the Irish could muster.
The figures were left around Siohban's bed until well after Christmas and Ruth and I became firm friends with Siohban even after her discharge home nearly a year later.



Roasts


I still have no clue who dropped off my Christmas Tree yesterday.
I'm off to bed now for a few hours...work again tonight, so I guess I won't find out today.
One of my patients mentioned just how funny Don Rickles was so , having no real clue of who he was , I googled him the other day.
Not PC nowadays but incredibly funny,
He's entertained me before sleep

Christmas Tree


I think I've got this Christmas Shopping this sorted
Got to Chester for 10 am, buttonholed Marks and Spencer's sales lady to show me where requested "items" were located and boom!!!! All done dusted and sorted before the shopping hoards arrived and the streets were nose-to-nipple with bored looking shoppers.
I rang my friend Nigel for a chat as I sat under an umbrella by the river then went to the Storyhouse to see  midday screening of the Japanese movie Shoplifters which is a powerful but meandering and slightly depressing story of the importance of family.
When I got home I found a miniature Christmas Tree on the doorstep with a simple unsigned  note pinned to it which said " Everyone Needs A Christmas Tree xxx" 
I've set it up in the living room
Whoever left it.....thank you


Diprobase

I was out longer than I anticipated today
The village coffee morning, interviewing for Samaritans then Christmas Shopping in Llandudno

I bought myself a tiny " pourer" from the Mostyn Art Gallery  which I shall use for flowers.
The same camp salesperson  who sold me my chicken print saw to me.
"You like your birds!" he cooed


It was dark when I got home and I found that Mary, bored with my absence, had broken into a tub of diprobase emollient
It's taken a very hot bath and some swafega to clean her properly



Wild Night


It's a wild night outside and the living room is lit only by the fire and some battery run Christmas lights hung around my beloved Manhattan snow globe on the mantelpiece.
The wind is howling around the cottage almost with a roar.
My remaining dogs ( and cat)  are all curled up with me on the sofa......sleeping the night away