disappointment

Yesterday I had an on line conversation with a former workmate who is catholic.
I asked him why he thought that the crowds celebrating the arrival of Pope Francis in Phoenix Park in Dublin were a fifth of the expected size
I expected a comment about public disillusionment with the way historic sex abuse cases were ignored and buried. I thought that trust and pride and that unshakable faith Catholicism demands of its followers has now been challenged and damaged by the public need for decency and the pragmatism of gay marriage and abortion law review.
But my friend summed up what he felt about the Catholic Church
" I'm disappointed in it " he said

Disappointment is, I think , such an underused and underestimated put down. Being disappointed in an institution or a person has a power all of it's own.
It feels quiet and dignified, but it is an insult that can wound so very much as it brings alongside it a loss of respect, trust and and sense that you expected so much better from something or someone

.
Disappointment seems much more powerful a feeling than anger or shame

The Children Act

It's been a nice afternoon. Cinema on a rainy Sunday followed by a nice Caesar salad....very civilised

We went to see The Children Act 

Not an easy or indeed enjoyable film to watch, but one that certainly had the conversation flowing over some chicken and shredded lettuce !

The film follows workaholic High Court Children Case Judge Fiona Maye ( Emma Thompson) as she faces the dilemma of a hospital wanting to transfuse blood to a boy of seventeen who is a devout Jehovah's Witness. Legally the boy (Fion Whitehead) should be treated as a child incapable of giving consent, but Maye caught up in the repressed emotional stress of her failing marriage , chooses to visit the boy in hospital to explore his thoughts and feelings about his condition, a decision which gets more complicated and messy as the meeting has a profound effect on everyone involved.

As a nurse I could see the holes in much of Ian McEwan's storyline and the film does veer from  being a fascinating glimpse into courtroom etiquette one moment and a daily unbelievable legal/ relationship drama the next.
Having said this, Emma Thompson pitches her performance just right. She is a focused, career woman who is certain of every fact in her possession . She is quick thinking, unsentimental and clear cut, so from the get go, the audience sympathy lies with her husband Jack ( Stanley Tucci) who offers affectionate meals out together and a shared bottle of wine only to have his overtures rejected
In one telling scene Fiona , explains to him that in one of her cases one conjoined twin's heart beats for both babies' survival . A clear metaphor for the state of her marriage

Maye's character is not easy, she has no banter with her devoted bland court clerk ( Jason Watkins), and she is so controlled it's almost infuriating to watch her stalk through her beautiful apartment ( to die for) where she plays her grand piano in a friendless, work orientated existence .
But the film is more an interesting study of her driven complex character, rather than a debate of the rights or wrongs of Jehovah Witness beliefs
6/10

What Are You Doing This Weekend?

We walked a 10 miles round trip to watch the show

Bank holiday weekends can be hell when you are on your own
Been to the " Book Swap " at the village hall
Came away 5£ lighter, two books heavier but did have one of Bridget's " fat bastard "scones ( which rival Auntie Glad's, they really do)
And got a big hug from the velvet voiced Linda from Well Street who I think adores me.
Tomorrow my sister in law and I are going out to lunch then to see the acclaimed The Children's Act 
And this afternoon Mary and I are going to walk from Prestatyn to Rhyl to watch the start of the Air Show

A Letter From The Director

to all of the sponsors in John's Zip Wire Adventure

"Hi John,

I would be grateful if you could thank your blog readers for their support in sponsoring you and raising such an amazing amount for our branch.  This will be an enormous help, especially for our small branch.  The funds we raise are used for our own local activities and operational costs. None of our volunteers receive payment for their input into the branch.

Donations we receive not only enable us to respond to calls for help each year as a branch via phone, text and email, but also make a difference in our local community.  For example, our volunteers deliver a range of community outreach activities, including schools, hospitals, prison and shortly custody suite.  

Last year the money we raised also enabled us to keep our branch doors open to talk face to face with local people who turn to us when they are struggling to cope.  Crucially, we recruit and train new local people each year to become listening volunteers, giving them skills and experiences that support the growth and wellbeing of our community.

Thank you each and every one for your generous donations which total such an amazing amount. And of course, our thanks to you for taking on this daredevil challenge and for all you do in supporting the branch.

Warm regards. 

Judy Peachey

Director
Rhyl & N E Wales Samaritans"

Friday Thoughts At 6 am

Last night the Trelawnyd Community Association took me out for a meal.
I was touched as it looked as though all of the committee members were there and we more or less filled the small restaurant at The Crown. 
I had the pork belly......it was bloody lovely too.
Linda from well Street made a slightly boozy and rather emotional speech about me staying in Trelawnyd, which was nice and I managed a quick reply saluting the work of the new committee

The Community Association has galvanised several new initiatives with different members running different areas. The first Women's Institute meeting had 30 women turn up on Tuesday night A new youth club seems clearly organised for late summer and the first open house coffee morning and book swap has been planned for this Saturday morning.

The Meg

I've kept busy this week. Choir Tuesday, Cinema Wednesday with my sister ( dreadful movie The Meg..not good enough for a review here!) and dinner out last night!
I've got sole responsibility for the ponies too over the next four days which will be a challenge as I've yet got the hang of slipping the mare her medication which has to be hidden inside an apple.
Be assured that I no longer wear flip flops on the field.

You blog readers have been real stars where my zip line sponsorship has been concerned. It looks as though we may even reach the £3000 mark with the gift aid added which is a phenomenal amount in anyone's eyes.
I am humbled by your generosity and by your support and I shall post a formal letter of thanks to you all from our branch director soon.
You are all stars!
Shiny loving stars!

Donate link 

Is

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1

It's 6 am or just after as I type this, and Strange as it was seem I've been awake since 5.20am
Only William and Albert are with me in bed, Albert, alert and calm is watching the field for rabbits. William, much more frail since his accident is asleep with his paws stretched out the only way pedigree dogs can only do.
I can hear Winnie snoring from downstairs, she and Mary are sharing my armchair.
The sparrows in the honeysuckle are still quiet

I've just noticed that I now sleep on the right of the double bed
For two decades I've always ever slept on the left.

I know the answer to this.......
Self preservation ...................

Overwhelmed & Grateful

I wanted to tell you a little more about the centre where your donations will be going to.
Samaritans Rhyl is one of the smallest Sam centres in the UK.
It is run solely by volunteers, and last year  in this time of volunteer apathy, we had only some 16 souls that acted as listening volunteers on the phone lines .
Phone lines that had literally doubled in activity due to the introduction of the Sams freephone number 116123
In nearly every assessment we were told that we were consistently punching above our weight, and through hard work our recruitment, training and mentoring teams have literally doubled our listening volunteer numbers in just one year !!!!!
This ongoing development of our service needs support at this crucial time and be assured that
Your donated monies will go directly to Rhyl branch.and really will  make a difference to the service we give our callers.
A reminder ...my donate page can be reached at  ( click on)

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1

In just 18 hours you have donated over £ 1500.00 to our little centre, a phenomenal amount !
Thank you so, so very much on behalf of our team, we now hope to raise a fantastic £2000, which will be vital in keeping us going this year....

This morning my fellow conspirator Ann stopped by for  a selfie, she is completing her zip wire in support of Alzheimer's, a charity which is, I know dear to many of you
Her donate page can be seen at

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ann-malthoff

Hands In Pockets Time

Hello All, 

As you may remember , I am terrified of heights

And so, I am going to squeeze my fat arse into a sleeping bag and I am going to launch myself 

Over the Bethesda Quarry on the Velocity 2 zip line

On September 26th

I am doing this for Charity namely

The Rhyl Samaritans, 

Of which I am deputy director for Caller Care

Please sponsor me 

Give what you can! The money will go directly to our centre and will be used to support the 

Service we give our callers

Donation page 

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1

I am zipping with fellow villager Ann Maltoff who will be doing her jump 

In support of Alzheimer's Charity

I will publish her charity link tomorrow  

Pulchritudinous

I couldn't pronounce it let alone understand what it actually meant.
But there it was in black and white
On the blog written by a gay man, I was actually described as Pulchritudinous.
At first I presumed it was a side swipe at my chunky bear outline or even a reference to my overly scabby knees or ruddy outdoor complexion but no, it was , in fact,  a positive remark
I was actually described in a positive if not exaggerated light
But, I was pleased.
And rather flattered.