A First!

Yesterday was a bit of a red letter day

for the Berlingo got a spring clean

An archeologist would have a field day piecing together

a sociological profile of the car's owners once they sifted through 

the detritus of its contents

Here is the list

Five neurological testing pen torches

Fifteen ballpoint pens

6 assorted scotch egg wrappers

7 cans of diet coke ( empty)

I desiccated canine stool

I pair of white ( sorry grey) underpants

2 scarves

2 woolly hats

I blue vase of unknown origin

£ 4.26 in assorted coins

a half opened bag of cat litter

The remains of a Marks & Spencer individual pork pie

22 egg boxes

4 books,

I china cup ( no saucer )

1 black sock

an unopened tin of evaporated milk

I jar of swarfega

2 screwdrivers

I dog lead

A photograph of a duck

A toothbrush

A Cadbury creme egg

Assorted food wrappers

A book of stamps

And old box of KFC chicken bones

You're kidding!

I am so jealous 

My best friend Nuala has just texted me

She's in New York

And was standing next to Meryl Streep at a bar!

We need another trip to the big apple

It's been too long

Chris and I in Central Park a while back.....a selfie  before selfies were famous

Rockefeller

Some things are not passed down in your genes. My father was an excellent businessman. I have as much entrepreneurial chutzpah as an average potato. Such is life.
Above are my egg " takings" for the week. I keep them in a preserve jar in the kitchen cupboard. It's been a good week....I shall have enough money to buy the animals' feed, and should have enough left over in order to buy the dogs flea treatments and some wormer for Albert.
If I am lucky I shall have just enough to treat myself to an arthouse film at Theatre Clwyd next week or maybe a cheeky scotch egg

Some people have the impression that selling eggs is a money spinner.
I can tell you right now that it's not.
 Now , to be fair, I generally only sell to a few locals, friends and people at work, People that do me favours will get eggs for free, neighbours and friends get discounted eggs and gifts of a half dozen or so can lubricate good will with the most crusty of characters.
Customers that may be used to supermarket bought eggs go crazy over mine, as they have that amazingly strong taste and bright yellow yolks of those eggs you used to remember having when you were a child.
But 14 regular buyers won't finance a cruise of the Queen Mary!

Favourite Person Thursday

The nominees for Favourite Person Thursday

are

Darling lunatic of the chat show circuit 

The delightful Paloma faith 

The passionate and cute-as-button tv Zoologist Ben Garrod

Theatrical potty mouth Miriam Margolyes

and

The Queen of Tonga

And the winner is.....

THE QUEEN OF TONGA!

This week's favourite person 

Won her place in the hall of fame by virtue of a simple, and wonderfully

human gesture during the Queen's coronation Ceremony of 1953.

Queen Salote of Tonga, gave instructions that her horse carriage was to be kept open

so that the drenched crowds along the procession route could see her.

Smiling broadly, and soaked to the skin,  Salote Tupou III broke with tradition and endeared herself to a whole nation with this spontaneous and warm show of ordinariness

The Happy Side of Lunacy

It was a a bitty night shift last night. Not full on mad busy, just bitty.
It was midday before I realized that I had not eaten anything, so me, Winifred and George jumped into the Berlingo and parked up at Tescos for a quick shop.
It never works out as a quick shop when your intention is a just a quick shop does it?
30 minutes after I went in,
I exited the supermarket with
1 pack of plain bagels,
I tin of expensive coffee,
I bag of rabbit food,
I pack  of cocktail sausages ( you know who for)
Light bulbs,
A small fruit tree ( on special offer)
Firelighters,
2 packs of economy white bread ( for sheep and hens)
One 150 ml bottle of white white ( tonight's treat)
Make up removal pads ( guess what for?)
A large pack of toilet paper!
And a sneaky scotch egg!
( go on check out girl..work this list out!)

When I got back to berlingo I caught Winifred making " moo moo" lips at a middle aged couple through the crack in the passenger seat window.
The couple  were totally captivated by her strenuous efforts  and easily jumped into the spirit of things when I offered them a couple of sausages to slip through the gap as a treat.
It was like feeding time at the zoo!
Three minutes  and eight sausages later
It would seem that everyone was blissfully happy

Ps favourite person Thursday will be posted later!

Middle Finger!

Email received today
It was from Parking Eye

Dear Sir/Madam,
We refer to the parking charge incurred on the 11th February 2014 at 12.39:26
at Prestatyn Shopping Park.
We can confirm that this charge has been cancelled and there is no outstanding 
Payment due on this account
Kind regards,
Parking Eye Team

Sometimes the little man wins!

Ellen's Selfie

I love the fact that Lupita Nyong'o's brother bounced into the photo

With Russia acting like a knob and more conflict in the Middle East than we can shake a stick at..is it a surprise to anyone that Ellen Degeneres' " let's have a proper laugh" comparing of the Oscars has been seen by more people on earth than all the major bad news stories put together?

I love the above selfie

It speaks volumes

With it, Degeneres, quite cleverly, has stripped away the catty persona of Hollywood and brought a real humour back into a business that is famous for its " knife in the back" Babylon.

What do the Oscars give Joe Public?

Well it gives glamour

It gives escapism

And with Ellen at the helm

It gives a genuine smile

Not a bad result given all the badness in this bloody awful world eh?

Always Bake in a morning

I bake a lot

I hate cooking

But I love baking

Strange that.

Now I always bake in a morning

It's a survival ploy

Always bake before I get my hands dirty cleaning the duck house out

Indian runner ducks are filthy little bastards.

This morning I baked a Mary Berry Apple and cinnamon cake

I watched her last night on tv, knocking it up in her country kitchen

And like most experts, she made it all seem so easy and enjoyable

She is the school teacher that every child wanted to be taught by

Right

The weather is spring like and warm

and as my best layer  Alfre Woodward,  stalks around the cottage garden before she lays

under the small fir tree

I can now wash my cake tins before

Donning my wellies

and getting my hands covered in duck shit!