Ruth

When things can be a bit fraught at work, I often use a few choice nursing anecdotes to "lighten the mood" and to get people smiling just a little. Many of those stories centre around a somewhat larger than life character I used to work with, and that nurse is my friend Ruth.
Yesterday during break, the conversation got around to the subject of burnout. (I am not surprised given the busy week that the staff had undergone) and I told the story of when Ruth had a burnout meltdown right in the middle of a busy shift way back during our spinal injury days.
Now to understand the humour of the event you have to know Ruth. She was ( and is) a big hearted, warm Northern lass, with a somewhat acerbic wit , a consistent tongue firmly planted into her cheek and and a somewhat lugubrious set of facial expressions. Ruth was (and again still is) well loved by staff and patients alike, so her uncharacteristic reaction to a particularly busy and stressful time was such a shock to everyone involved!
The patient call bells had been ringing constantly all day as we had an unusually high number of bed rest patients which meant lots of stressed relatives and a higher than normal dependency level..........from my office I could hear the constant beep, beep of the nurse call buzzers all afternoon and after the briefest of breaks they started up their constant callings yet again.
Ruth reacted in a way that we have all wanted to,but thankful never have...she stood up at the nurses station and yelled LOUDLY throughout the ward

"WHO THE FUCK IS BUZZING NOW?????!!!!!!!"

The shock and surprise exhibited by the ward population (staff and patients alike) in retrospect was hilarious (suddenly everyone went a deathly silent).......it was one of the those surreal moments that still makes my sides ache with giggles....of course at the time, our concern for Ruth and the limits she had been pushed beyond was all that worried us., but because her tirade was so atypical....the hysteria that it caused amongst the staff, was almost palpable!

I managed to remove Ruth to my office, (after a whole series of "FUCKING BUZZERS!!!! WHO IS FUCKING BUZZING!...and "BASTARD BUZZERS"etc and the whole situation calmed down somewhat. Ruth had a break from work , and after coming back to work for a while on another less stressful ward she decided to leave to become ,of all things, a prison nurse!!!!

I remember meeting up with Ruth soon after she started work at the prison.
As humorous and as self depreciating as she had always been she told me that on her first week she had been instructed by the old lag staff to search a prisoner for drugs and contraband. Fearful that she would let herself down by being a little shy and retiring, Ruth jumped into the role with some gusto and gave the prisoner a good "checking over" as it were.
Suddenly she found something hidden in this chap's pocket and grabbing the object in a vice like grip.....she shouted to the officer that was supervising her that she had found something hidden!
The more she pulled at this hidden bounty, the more agitated the prisoner became
"what's in your pocket!!" she shouted " what's in there!!!!!!!!...let me have it!!!!!!!!"
"what is it!!!!????" she yelled
"My erection" the prisoner replied with a smile........

it only could happen to Ruth......
Thanks girl.....those stories helped diffuse many a stressful time at work
xx


Above Ruth and her family, on their visit here three years ago

Intense.,.....intensive care

Today I was caring for a woman that had lost her very young son in a road traffic accident, a crash that had hospitalised not only her but her toddler daughter.
....Makes you want to come home and hug the people close to you doesn't it?.......Chris is out dancing with my sister so I have had to content myself with lying on the couch with four dogs and an affectionate skinny cat

Buff Broodiness

Back to hen normality now.......Three of my four golden buffs have gone broody on the same day. Kate Winslett, Sorrel and Violet have parked their fat arses into any spare nook and cranny in an effort to incubate .....only tame Lily remains bright eyed and bushy tailed!....I am working all day tomorrow.....and Chris hates fanny-arsing around encouraging the sitting hens to eat and drink!

Sigh

As a teenager I remember witnessing an altercation between a fifteen year old boy and a science teacher.
Throughout the lesson the boy goaded and pushed the teacher with silly remarks and some schoolboy double entendres but pushed his advantage in front of his classmates a little too much by making a particularly vulgar reference towards the teacher's wife.
The teacher lost his composure completely and soundly smacked the boy around the head back and forth, with a venom that was truly frightening . before dragging him out of the room, presumably to be reviewed by the headmaster.

Now this was in the late 1970s where the odd "thwack" with the blackboard duster was a regular punishment for talking in class.....but as I recall , we the children that were left alone in the classroom after this explosion of violence, only discussed how appropriate the teacher's reaction actually was! In our eyes this boy had overstepped the mark and by disrespecting the teacher's wife he had in fact sealed his own fate on the matter.

The case of Peter Harvey htttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/8652243.stm
is an example of a man that was targeted by the children under his care for blatant and systematic bullying. They chipped away at his eccentricities as children have a want to do, yet took the goading to a level way beyond anything that could be seen as pure mischief making. (One girl in the class had arranged to video the encounter thus setting the scene for an out of control performance) and Mr Harvey lost control and severely injured the ringleader boy.

Of course I am not saying that this boy deserved the injuries that he received, but I am so glad the the judge in the case saw the situation for what it was......a vulnerable man pushed way beyond his coping abilities by some out of control children.
Instilling respect and discipline within schools is an incredibly difficult job, especially as I do feel that respect for authority has been eroded away since old farts like me were at school. I don't want to join the screaming hoards of the Daily Mail readership here, but I do think that children that are not respected by themselves and others are now having children of their own....so where does the youth of today learn respect and tolerance for others when everything seems to be stacked in a... "me, me, me", way of living

Erasing David

I have always "worried" about what information is "out there" about me, in the magical world of Internet/computer and corporate data bases!
Every time we have travelled to the states (perhaps a dozen or so trips) I get pulled by customs for the obligatory stony eyed passport check where I am escorted from the immigration line and asked to sit in silence in an anti room for half an hour or so.
I never have found out just why this happens.....I suspect that my details perhaps mirror someone elses, that may be of more interest to the security minded, but the experience of isolation always gets me to thinking ...... who knows what about me and why........... ?

The documentary Erasing David is a sobering look into how much personal information can be dug out by anyone with moderate intelligence, some time and just a name! The premise is that of a reality quiz show. A detective agency is given a name of film maker David Bond. Without any further information, the agency is given a month to locate David, who has essentially gone to ground in an effort to escape his pursuers.

Interspersed with the fascinating process of detection and chase, we see flashbacks filmed by David Bond, on what information he himself gleaned about himself from everyday companies such as Amazon, the Passport department and even facebook! The resulting mountains of paperwork are chilling to see, as page after page of David's life can be perused for "anyone" to view and indeed buy.

Erasing David is an interesting piece of work, but it is not an easy watch. David Bond is a particularly irritating "performer", who possesses an over abundance of geeky facial expressions and takes part in some very staged and over acted set pieces....I found the scenes between himself and his equally "odd" wife, particularly contrived, uncomfortable and just a little exasperating; so much so, that after half an hour or so, I was praying that the detective agency nab him as quickly as possible.

Of course the agency "catch" David at the end of the movie , however they do trap him by some very human detective work ( he attends his wife's anti natal class) rather than by some Big brother-ish technology or gadget gizmo's and the final lesson that there is too much information about all of us "out there" is a sobering and terribly frightening one.

I gave the film a 6/10. However the importance of its message I give 10/10

Humm perhaps I should not have been so personal...given the subject matter..I bet David has just printed himself a copy of my review

Turkey lore

Turkey lore IS......turn your back on your stock for a few minutes and something bad will always happen!
This morning was a case in point.....finally with the rain gently pattering down, I got stuck in with planting out broccoli and sprouts. I was a little behind in today's jobs as I had called down to Rhyl to collect our donated trophy from the engravers (8 quid to engrave 10 letters!!!!), then took the Berlingo to the garage to sort out some coolant problems (what do I know?)
Anyhow I could hear the turkeys in their enclosure having loud "turkey sex" as I worked so I ignored them (turkey lovin' is not a pretty sight!!!!!!!!!)
After a great deal of calling and shrieking I finally chanced a glimpse at the "action" only to see Bingley totally crushing a prostrate and inert Jane, the slate female in the corner of the field.
I ambled down to take a closer look and was horrified to see Jane with the fence netting wound firmly around her neck. The bird looked dead and it took an absolute age to free her from the fence and from the attentions of a fat amorous young stag! When I checked her, she didn't look as though she was breathing.
I lifted her up cupped my hand around her beak and blew hard. This I did a couple more times and miraculously Jane took a couple of gulps of air....I had resuscitated my first turkey!!!- who says I have not practiced my nursing skills after working only one shift a week!
Below is a photo of her around half an hour later

Like I said I finished some more planting in the light rain, then fixed an additional bit of fencing to the top of the church wall to stop the final three escapee hens Susan, Belle and Blanche from walking around the old churchyard........so far it seems to be working.

Tonight I am off to see the documentary Erasing David, which sounds intriguing..review later

It's a man thing

I have been putting off cleaning the turkey house for most of the morning....it is not the nicest of jobs...as turkey poo seems to be more smelly and disgusting than any waste.

So I have cleaned the kitchen, prepared dinner and cleared the cottage paths before cleaning the bathroom floor of untidy piles of reading matter!

Now our bathroom is often filled with magazines, books and pamphlets...I think that generally that this is a man thing! Men generally read in the bathroom! (Chris whilst in the bath and me generally whilst sat on the loo!!) Our books are varied but generally in the bathroom the reading matter remains "lightish" in nature.....Homes and Antiques Magazines, Empire Film Magazines, an amusing collection of poems (by Pam Ayres- of all people), a history of the Sheffield cemetery (a wonderfully interesting little book!) oh and I have just found a history of the Indian Mutiny, a diary history written from the perspective of housewives during World War II and Patricia Cornwell's The Scarpetta Factor!.......oh and tucked behind the Period Homes magazines was an old copy of Hello!

yes all very cerebral

Field Update

Halleh (centre) my only drake (and the only non runner duck) is still too full of hormones. He has paired off with the black female but as yet I have not seen any real mating behaviours. Unfortunately the main object of his affections have remained two of the smaller hens, Belle,a marran cross and Ripley an amber rock, and both hens have been harried constantly all day, every day!
Belle, has been somewhat broody and has been cornered on her nest several times today, so I have set her up in a spare rabbit hutch on her own clutch of eggs and have moved it into a safe nursery run.....well away from rapist ducks!

This afternoon I have weeded a little more of the back garden which is just about to burst into its best May colours. Give it 2 weeks and the aquilegia , hipericum and alliums will be blooming and the whole place will look like a typical cottage garden once more

At least three cocks by the look of things! The chicks in the shed are now feathering up quite nicely and are already being dominated by the typical long legged strutting swagger of three white cockerel babies (obvious Jesus' sons by the look of things!)..... I am hoping beyond all hope that I have 7 hens!

This is Kitty, one of the three bourbon female turkeys. Every day she has been breaking out of her enclosure down in the corner of the field to hole up in the hawthorn hedge to lay another egg. Stupid girl! She hates nettles and is getting stung badly every time she sits down to lay! The shaded "nest" I constructed for her in her little paddock has thoughtfully been ignored

As Kitty laid her egg from her nettle stung bum Bingley the Stag (another hormone filled performance here) courted the other females Jane and Lizzy.......

sex is definitely in the air