A letter from Ethel Kennedy, the need of balance


Where were you?

People of a certain age (late 30s early 40s) will recall their parents saying “I always will remember where I was when Kennedy got shot”!, True to their word they would then state where they indeed were! usually with a slight wistful sadness The Kennedy shooting obviously affected my mother deeply, as only yesterday I found the acknowledgment from the White house for my Mother’s sympathy card (pic) in a pile of old papers.If you look closely the envelope of the card from Ethel Kennedy is actually handwritten and addressed to Mr & Mrs Ron Gray and family, Prestatyn England! How things change! Not only in the fact that the envelope was ACTUALLY hand written, (albeit by a secretary I would guess),but the fact that the post office actually delivered it!


Some 35 years later, the attack on the Twin Towers on 9/11, provided the world with another horrific and sudden shock of epic proportions. Everyone in September 2001 stopped what they were doing to watch this disaster unfold and Chris and I were no different! Chris had booked a skip for us to clear out the rubbish from Wynyard Road, and this tiny little wheelbarrow of a skip was delivered, which was no use to anyone. True to form (thinking myself Mr Practical) I was berating him for his mistake when the first news reports from New York started to come in and for the next eight hours I sat on the arm of the couch and Chris wandered around the living room both of us glued to the tv and the unfolding news. I can honestly say that I have never experienced so much disbelief and shock to a world event like I did that day and some of the visuals of the disaster still linger in my mind today. Like countless of others I will always remember where I was and what I was doing on September the 11th 2001.
Look at Rhetto's comment on page 13!
My next comment perhaps won't be very popular! but I must admit I can see the other side of the argument in my more lucid moments! so before we start I apologise to the Kilners and Kirkhams !, hope you dont too antsy with me! I went to Sainsbury's this afternoon and the whole place seemed rather deserted. I parked ( as I occasionally do) in a spare parent parking space. Now I can understand why parents find these spaces useful (thanks Bev) and indeed in some ways safer than a regular shopping spaces BUT I feel that as a person without children, I am being penalised in a small but significant way! In the same vein I get incensed at car stickers that say Please drive carefully, baby on board! - as if you should drive more carelessly if say an 80 year old woman was in front of you! Anyhow I digress!, like I said I parked and as I walked into the store a large irate lady in the next bay called over. "Have you a child?" "No " I replied politely.
"Then can I park in your space?" She yelled. I looked round and saw that there was at least three parent parking spaces in my row so I pointed to them and replied "No...., but there are free ones here!" I guess I was a red rag to her bull as she was livid! and decided to embarrass me. "You should not park in these bays!" She yelled! and this pissed me off big style. I decided NOT to be embarrassed ( as a couple of people at the cashpoint has turned to watch) so I said in my loudest and clearest calm voice , "I am tired at people that CHOOSE to have children, thinking that they are automatically entitled to perks above others who do not! and who spend just as much at this supermarket as they do!" OK OK not the best grammar but It got my point across and with a middle aged, fat man's dignity I marched into the store!
Now I know and understand that parents do have a difficult time with the care of kids, and I am not against perks like these parking spaces being made available but I get so angry when people think of it as a God given right JUST because children are involved. Elderly people that perhaps are not quite knackered enough to be termed disabled have to used the "normal" spaces and it could be argued that they would benefit more from a nearer space than "more healthy" parents and their kids......whatever!
Anyway as I came out of the store the lady was nowhere in sight, but I did notice that all her children were sat in her car talking as their mom was in the store. She wasn't even using the space in the spirit that she had alluded to!
I wish I was more public minded, and recognise that getting so angry at peoples' behaviour like this is so unhealthy!.sorry peeps!
Postscript! Jonney e mailed me today (6.3.07) saying that we met up in the evening for the theatre and drinks on Sep 11th and he thought I was pretty normal! I find that each of our perceptions of the day interesting as I remember nothing of the evening out! strange what we recall and what we don't eh?

Freud, where are you?


Perhaps it is the two long night shifts this weekend, perhaps the (low fat) breakfast before I crawled into my pit, but had a series of vivid dreams about the Blitz during the day! In retrospect I think the catalyst was the monotonous ringing of the Church bell at 11am, but whatever it was, I dreamt of the destruction of the historic Marples hotel in Sheffield.The dream was visually quite stunning as I even remember the faded wallpaper on the pub wall! and the hairstyles of the women drinkers downing thier stouts!
I didnt know much about the disaster so have just found the following info out!
The Marples pub was a seven storey building with a network of cellars which customers could take shelter in if it became necessary. It was a popular drinking den boasting a full house most nights. On the night of Dec 12th at around 10.50pm C&A Modes store standing opposite the pub suffered a direct hit. The pub customers some suffering from wounds from the shattered and flying glass from the explosion of the C&A building were treated in the pub cellars feeling all the more secure by the fact that the seven storey pub building had hardly been touched by a bomb dropping so close to them. Later that night, customers and other injured were still comforting each in the pub cellars while the air raid continued. Then at 11.44pm the pub building itself suffered a direct hit from a high explosive bomb. The whole seven storey's of bedrooms, bars and lounges just collapsed into a pile of rubble. Its never been confirmed exactly how many people lost their lives. In the following weeks of searching and clearing the rubble there were 70 or so bodies or the remains of bodies recovered, half of them being women and only 14 could be named. The rest being identified through belongings such as watches, identity cards or other such items found in pockets and handbags.

Now where did this dream come from? Not done a tap today when I finally rolled out of bed. Chris has prepared dinner and walked the dogs all day! Nights do have some compensations!

The Prestige, & Gardening!!

It has been the most beautifull day, so after a very early morning walk up the gop I have spent the whole day in the garden. The heavy clay soil has had a boost with what seems like tons of compost and it will be interesting to compare this picture with another in say a months time when all the cottage flowers are up and running. The allotment is marked out and Steve (village spokesman) on board with helping to organise ground preparation! (he knows everyone within a five mile radius) Hopefully Chris will help me cart Pippa's manure up tomorrowbefore I go to work the weekend!

We saw the twist comming a mile off in The Prestige (2006) tonight at Theatre Clwyd, and must admit I thought the whole affair pretty damm boring to say the least. Hugh Jackman isn't as pretty as he used to be, and I have never really liked Christian Bale, so the leads left me all a bit cold really. I DID like Scarlett Johansson's English accent however! one of the best American-to-English accents since Bridget Jones!, but I guess an accent isn't the best thing to like about a film! David Bowie looked a bit bloated by the way! Wonder if Jonney Highfield liked it?

Only had 28 of my 33 points today on fatfighters! doing well! I don't even feel hungry!

Mightiest Of Men... Mightiest Of Spectacles... Mightiest Of Motion Pictures!


Well so says the tag line of the film The Vikings (1958) which is showing on TCM tonight! Chris is withdrawing from nicotine today and I am smug with attending Weightwatchers with Carole AND for jet washing the Belingo ( a first for me) ! so relaxing with Kirk Douglas and a big boys film seems like the best thing to do! Ernest Borgnine had the best and worst of the lines-

" Look how he glares at me... If he wasn't fathered by the black ram in the full of the moon my name is not Ragnar. " classic!

My boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........................................


I am a visual person, so to speak and not a verbal one !, so I found it strange that one tiny phrase has stuck in my mind over the past few days. Obviously Chris and I have no children, but often when Finlay sits on my knee in his needy way I always refer to him as.... "My boy!". I only noticed this fact tonight , and it is weird that when Chris is down, tearful or ill I refer to him as "my boy " as well! especially when I give him a kiss on the forehead in one of those paternal type ways...................... I thought tonight of where this term of endearment comes from and it took me only a few minutes to realise that it comes from my gran. !


During my grandfather's funeral ( a real roller coaster of an experience ...that actually Incorporated a car crash in Prestatyn high street!) I remember the coffin being wheeled out of the Church! As the coffin lurched a little over the uneven stone floor , I will always remember my grandmother calling out " My boy....oh........ my poor boy!" It was a sudden moment of intimacy that hurt the entire congregation with its closeness and its pain and I guess it struck with me an emotion more powerfull that I ever expected . I guess it will always be with me....well , and with Chris and little Fin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allotment planning ,To kill a Mocking bird and fatfighters

Picked the new hen house for the field, a split-level construction which looks bigger than my first house on Providence Road in Sheffield! It houses around 12 birds and my original house can fit in 5, so I hope to have almost 20 hens! in a fenced enclosure, and no they all will not have names!

My sister Ann has a large co-operative allotment working well in Prestatyn and will give me her crop rotation plans! so I will be learning from all their mistakes!



Called into HMV when I went to Llandudno today and picked up a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird on DVD for five quid. I always remember the quote!

(Atticus Finch): If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

Looking forward to watch it later! Gregory Peck at his best!

Me and Carole are off to weightwatchers tomorrow night and I am glad for the company as it is easy not to go when the wind is blowing and the rain is lashing! (oh and if there is a watchable prog on tv!!)


Pan's Labyrinth


Pan's Labyrinth at the newly vamped "arthouse" cinema in Theatre Clwyd is not for the faint hearted! Dreadfully brutal and frighteningly dark it takes an hour or so to "grow "on you, but hook you it does and the nightmare visuals linger in the mind long after you leave the cinema.

The story is not THAT original for those who have sat through Jacob's Ladder (1990/I), and you can either choose the nice fantasy ending or the sad realism of wartime Spain as experienced by an abused ten year old girl, Ofelia ( Ivana Baquero), strangely for me I chose the latter ! Watch out for Sergi López as Ofelia's psychopathic step father! the nastiest film villain I have seen in a long time!
The new cinema looks great and very comfortable. I was very impressed! Looking at the programme or forthcoming films, someone in management seems to have got their finger out and have picked a nice selection this spring and summer ! (oh there IS a god!!!!)

Granny's bonnet and a granny's oscar!

Couldn't blog yesterday as I was so tired after an incredibly busy twelve hour shift where I ended up having three high dependency patients throughout the day! Today caught up with Janet and after the usual beach walk we went to Colwyn Bay to review the items for Roger's Jones antique auction, which takes place tomorrow. Saw a nice old oak table which I did but a commission bit on, but I am not too hopefull as I suspect the price of it will exceed the my maximum price!

We sneaked down to Meliden to the open ground near the old cottage at Cefn-y-grwych and complete with black bin bags and garden trowels we dug up a load of snowdrops to relocate into our respective gardens. Bit naughty really, as it is illegal to dig up wild flowers, but I figured that it would be ok to relocate these as they are going to thrive in a country garden!


Planted a load of aquilegia (Granny's Bonnet) in the back garden this afternoon, which will look lovely in the spring! and speaking of grannies, great to see a mature AND beautifull Helen Mirren winning best actress for The Queen (2006) . Loved her speech too! - a big salute to the royal old girl!
The Oscar Academy have now favoured Martin Scorsese for the wonderfull The Departed (2006) , and it was nice to see him being honoured at last. I was disappointed that Mark Wahlberg didn't get the best supporting actor though!!