Where Is Mel Giedroyc when you need her?

I had a mini melt down this afternoon
A phone call gone awry
What I needed was the comic actress Mel Giedroyc to be there standing in the living room in a lurid pink jacket
Does anyone remember her comparing "  The Great British Bake off" a few years ago..?
It was the one where the pouting Ruby lost it over her complicated bake in the semi finals
Ruby was getting all flouncy and bad tempered when Mel went all Women's Institute on her.
The younger woman needed a firm hand as she was being all snappy so the ever pragmatic Mel turned on the sulky young woman with a sharp
" Ruby ...get a grip ok?...get a RUDDY grip!!!!" 

Class

Research

" I have another blog question! How old are they and what sex are they?" 
So asked Mr A when I stood paying for petrol at the village garage and shop.
( Mr A, as you may recall asked the  where are you all from ? blog question earlier in the year, the one that gained nearly 700 comments in 48 hours!)
This second question not only caught me unawares but confused Margaret the cashier somewhat
" How old are who? "she asked " and are who having sex?" 
It got all a bit confusing after that

And so, Mr A in one of his more vague posed questions wants to know dear readers

How old are you?( you can give a wide demographic here if you wish eg " over fifty , over sixty etc" 

What sex are you?

And thirdly ( for the bemused Margaret ) 

ARE YOU STILL HAVING SEX?

Should be an interesting read
( let it be said that Mr A suggests that I have an 80 % female readership of ( and I'm quoting) " a more mature demographic " 
He also suggested that most of my male followers are "LGBT"  ( I didn't correct him as he was on a roll)
We have a bet going ( a few quid ) that I have no followers under 25! ( I said I must have at least 5)

ta Muchly

After some reflection I removed yesterday's post.
It's time to generally diversify the conversations if I can
Having said this I looked at my blogger stats this morning and was surprised to see the numbers of people returning to Going Gently for a look during  July.
Thank you all for popping in . Your support has been fantastic.

The Clock

I initiated one of those elephant in the room conversations today
They are never easy ones to give or to hear.
I asked if my husband could start to think about items he wants to take from our home.
Items of personal importance .
I don't want ambiguity and spats over shared and loved things further down the line.

However I had to be honest when I told him I wanted to keep our grandfather clock.
It's a magnificent locally made Welsh clock from the mid 19th century

He had bought it , but my sister and I had bid on it in a local auction sale many moons ago now and it was , as I recall an exhilarating and stressful twenty minutes out of our lives
The clock had be owned by my best friends' parents for many years and by their family for generations . It was sold when their dear parents had passed away, people who I cared for deeply.
It stood by their front door and I knew and loved it well when I was growing up.

The clock will stay with me.
And....It's a comfort.

S

Runs

Three of the dogs have diarrhoea
Stupidly I used a non known batch of tinned food last night  as I had run out of their usual
I have just returned from a four hour mentoring stint and now realise that Albert has let them in from the kitchen to have the total run of the cottage .
"Runs in the cottage" more like.
And to make things worse the postman has been.
The dogs love galloping around like fools when the post comes!

Mage the badge

http://urban-archology.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your kind gift!
I'll never lose my keys ever again! 

Dirty Bastard

When I was in primary school there were a group of kids who lived in the grottiest house on the council estate.
By anyone's standards they were " loppy"
And were referred to somewhat cruelly as The Stinkbombs
Nowadays the kids would be seen for what they were....deprived and abused children .

I got to thinking about the stinkbombs after emptying the dyson today.
Every day I Hoover the cottage and every day this is what is retrieved from the carpets
Smelly filthy crap!

Every day! 
In a week I could probably fill a large scatter cushion with the detritus collected from animals, humans and a sooty wood burner.
In a month I could fill an average mattress

I can't believe I've just posted a blog about the contents of my vacuum !

A Big Hunk Of Spunk

I went to see Mission Impossible Fallout this evening,
It's really no different from any of the previous five or is it 6 in the series, except the chases are longer, the fights bigger, and the IMF team is now pared down to Tom Cruise, Ving Rimes and a gaunt Simon Pegg.
Don't bother understanding the story, its a usual romp against a nutter wanting to take over the world a fact complicated by infighting by CIA, FBI  and MI6, a blond femme fatale with a flick knife and the obligatory black American intelligence woman looking tough in a power suit (Angela Bassett)
Its shite, but it is terribly polished and entertaining shite which is marvellous fun.
Rebecca Ferguson turns up again as a British agent who can break a neck with her thighs ( a nice move as she is an accomplished actress who brigs a heart and believe it or not some warmth to the movie.)
There's the usual gadgets, prosthetic masks and bells and whistles to please everyone
But for me it was the six footer muscle mary Henry Cavill who steals the film with his turn as a double agent baddie assassin
he's one massive hunk of spunk!

Glorious Rain

It remains warm but is gloriously wet  this morning
And in shorts and t shirt I took the dogs out in pairs so I could get drenched in the rain
The parched grass, gardens and trees looked as though they were taking a collective gulp as it came down  under a grey sky

Disappointment

I'm doing ok
Not great Not brilliant but ok.
Over the last couple of months I have found out I have a lot of good friends and a good family
I have been of the receiving end of thoughtful thoughts and touching gifts
I have received cards and postcards, strange gifts of food and jam and even an anonymous bunch of flowers.
and people who I would have never have expected have stopped to say something when driving by would have been easier...... it is that small effort of saying "are you ok?" that has helped.... it really has
I have also been dreadfully disappointed by a handful of people I care for   and that I expected better from.
I guess that's common when people think that they have to take sides or they know not what to say.😟

A dear friend of mine said something similar to me recently. He  felt let down by a close friend of his who seemed crass and insensitive when dealing with my friend's serious illness.
My friend recognised the fact that serious illness can paralyse some people into inactivity, but the hurt was real and understandable.
unfortunately , for many reasons some friends cannot say what needs to be heard he said......and I agree with him many can't  BUT THEY BLOODY SHOULD

I have some advice for those that feel, for whatever reason, that they cannot say something supportive to people like me or like my friend.....people going through a shitty time
make the effort and say something, email something, message something
You don't have to take sides , you don't have to provide a counselling service , you don't have to lend a supporting ear daily until your ears bleed.....no
you just have be nice and ask
"are you ok?"

Set Up

Albert is being bullied by a new cat on the block
It's a tortoiseshell mix with a whole lotta attitude.
I know it's got attitude because it squared up to Mary when we were out walking around the Churchyard ( yes I walk the dogs there daily as a protest to the uniform ban ) and a cat that will hold its ground against a dog of any size has balls.
Although Albert is a hunter, he is no fighter. His deformed back leg makes him slower and slightly ungainly at times and so when faced with a more determined assailant he usually decides that retreat is the order of the day and makes a bolt for the cat flap home.
This morning the fight with the tortoiseshell  took a tern in Albert's favour.
After the dogs morning wee stop, Winnie, William and Mary went back up to bed as per usual. George disappeared into his bed underneath the kitchen table and leaving the back door open , I went to read the news on the toilet.
I'd only got to a juicy tidbit about Anthony Hopkins stating he should have been a Welsh drunk, when I heard Albert frantically bouncing up the stairs followed by a deafening howl from George which was followed by some very angry barking, a few bangs in the kitchen and the scrabbling of clawed feet on the coalbunker's wooden cover.
With my pants round my ankles I looked out of the window just in time to see the tortoishell streaking over next door's lawn as the rest of the dogs thundered down the stairs to join in with the chaos.
The tortoishell had seen his opportunity in finally cornering Albert and had chased him through the open door into the kitchen.
He hadn't banked on George lying quietly in his bed.
Now George is a typical Scottish Terrier. He has a big mouth and a stout heart and a strange cat, no matter how tough and streetwise is no match for him. And so , like old lions have to do sometime,  George at twelve roared and roared his head off.
The tortoiseshell shat itself and after bouncing around the kitchen for a bit, legged it through the kitchen door and up over the coal bunker with George in close pursuit .

Albert rubbed my scabby knees with his head as the barking increased to fever pitch downstairs
Like nothing had happened

The Acorn Didnt Fall Far From The Tree*

I helped out at my sister's flower Show today. It was nice to see several of Trelawnyd Flower Show's regulars win prizes in the art, cookery and vegetable classes....another case of the ebb and flow of such events.
I was tired when I got home and had to clean the cottage for it's first viewing.
I need not have bothered as the woman who had booked the appointment never actually got out of her car.
"I don't want to live on a main road" she said through her drivers window
"It's actually a quiet lane" I corrected her as Winnie blew bulldog kisses from the front garden gate
but she didn't slow her car down before she drove off.
I can't say I was bothered
It stopped me writing another, more waspish post
* my original blog title

Late Night Sandwich

I worked at Samaritans on the late night 22.00 shift last night.
I wont have access to a car for the next three days so popped in to Sainsbury's before hand for weekend provisions,
I was hungry so as well as a watermelon, bread, milk, eggs,  chicken pieces,noodles and stir fry veg I bought some almost out of date ham and pitta bread, and made an impromptu sandwich as I drove.

In Rhyl ( a place that unfortunately resembles a war zone at the best of times) I spied a homeless guy in a shop doorway. It was late and he was settling down on a pile of something alongside a cheerful looking black Labrador type dog and as I was enjoying my sandwich of ham and pitta  so much I stopped on impulse and offered the rest to him with a slightly awkward " Can you two use these, Ive just made a sandwich"
The man smiled showing teeth like a row of bombed houses and took the bits gratefully
" The dog's been well fed today....but we thank you for your kindness" the man said
I was totally surprised....
His accent and speech was pure boarding school England's home counties
and he held out a dirty hand in thanks.
I shook it firmly.
and felt as humble as anyone could have possibly felt in a moment in a car in a back street of grotty Rhyl

Grass Cutters

There is little nutrient in the grazing in most of the fields around us now and horse owners are resulting to bring in summer hay supplements which is usually unheard of this time of year.
As a favour to a old school chum I have agreed for her ponies to come onto the field for a short time.
It is a win win win situation for all of us
The Ponies have excellent virgin grazing
The field gets cleared of nettles and weeds
and Irene has two grazing friends once more

It's Pronounced....

found these old videos on a youtube

 account yesterday, thought they may be worth repeating

some of the villagers pronouncing "Trelawnyd"

The Place Is Tidy

http://peterlarge.com/sales/cwm-road-trelawnyd/

The Down Side of Dog Ownership

Bulldog Breath that could cut steel

The weekly Cleaning of brown scum from every fold of facial skin

Two bouts of mild heatstroke in one month

One bad tempered spat over a lurid green tennis ball

One wet fart shit stain on my favourite sofa cushion

Deafening snoring after a 7 am lie in

a dyson full of pet hair

Daily bouts of unsightly masturbation.

No one tells you all this before they arrive 

BORIS remembered

A jar of homemade Jam and a kind card left by Gentleman Farmer Ralph and Lady L on the garden gate was another treat today.......
Thank you both,
they only live up the lane.
At 3 pm two old men stopped at the kitchen wall for eggs, I thought one was  blogger CRO for a moment he looked so similar.. They were walkers with ski sticks and backpacks.
Both stopped for eggs 8 years ago and remembered the cottage
"How's Boris?" one guy asked and I broke the news that he died a good while ago

"I liked that old bird" the man said sadly

"SO did I " I told him with feeling

Going Gently

"Sky News presenter Colin Brazier has asked people not to wear bright colours at his wife's funeral, telling mourners to "leave their Hawaiian shirts at home" and wear black."

This banner headline caught my attention the other day

On the surface it was a personal plea by a grieving husband to have what he saw as a respectful and perhaps more traditional funeral for his wife, a move away, or so the article suggested , from the modern day phenomenon of the " happy funeral"

I've attended both kinds of send off over the years and I guess it's a case of to each his own to what is preferred. A celebration of the life or a mourning of the lost...with every permutation in between, the simple answer is the choice is whatever gets you through the day.

Mind you I think Brazier does have a point when it comes to grieving children, for he suggests the cognitive dissonance put into play may be damaging in itself.

"Maybe grown-ups can handle the cognitive dissonance required in 'celebrating' a life rather than, you know, being all morbid. But I seriously doubt children can."

Brazier also added this comment,

".... wearing black gives people a "licence" to get upset, and to "treat a funeral like Ascot's Ladies Day" not only trivialises death but moves the spotlight of consolation away from the family."

Like I said , each to their own.

The best funeral ( best?) I ever attended was led by a humanist speaker . I suspect he was an actor too, and he did what most vicars don't do well at funerals, he did his homework

He knew everything about Janet, a colleague of mine who had died after a short illness, he knew her friends, her wishes, her humour and her life. He breathed life into what was a tragic and sad situation and got the balance just right between mourning and celebration.
Like I said before, it's whatever gets you through on the day that's important .

Sweet

I had a good kind of cry today
It was a brief sort of  weep. A happy one.
A nice one indeed.
Years ago I planted several buddleia which always bloom in late July and today in the oppressive heat , their blooms seemed to explode with their tiny nectar filled flower heads.
A mass of butterflies descended on the cottage today, and their numbers included the beautiful leopard spotted Comma with their fluted and oh so delicate scalloped wings.
The air was alive  with them this afternoon
Half Blind  twelve year old William loves to chase bees , but the butterflies are so much easier  for him to see, and I teared up briefly as I  watched him gleefully chasing their fluttering shapes around the flower beds like a silly uncoordinated puppy