Juggling

I thought I would repeat the holiday selfie 

The Prof ( note both Roger Moore Eyebrows are pinched) the Dowager Sorrel and me 

Today is father's day
Having divorced parents means separate days and separate visits when on holiday, so today we are off to the Kent countryside for a mooch and a pub meal with Richard doing the driving.
We've picked the pub.....it has lamb scotch eggs on the menu...
Result!

The weather is just about to break and there is rain in the air. Unfortunately part of my shinbone resembles corned beef, from too much sun yesterday.
But I thought that at least I fitted in with the great blobs of burnt East End flesh on show on the sand.
I've just realised that  Londoners don't seem to " do" full sunshine very well.

Yesterday Laura from somewhere in the midwest asked me if I was missing the animals and I must say that I have not.
I havent because, like the mother of five toddlers who has got an unexpected pass out to a local bar for the first time,  it's just wonderful to be able to rest your mind and energy  and not worry about something four legged or feathered.
The animals are all in good hands.

Over the last few days I have watched overwrought parents trying to cater for demanding scraps of children 24/7.
It looks a thankless task.
Tantrums and tears, worries over drowning, sunburn, accidents, bad behaviour, and "I've told you before get off that friggin harbour wall" looks and feel exhausting!
I didn't envy many of those  harassed and tired faces, so in need of a quiet child free holiday of their own.

I have the right idea.....farm your kids out to kind neighbours, loving friends, supportive family and failing that bung em in a high security home for the bewildered for 20 quid a night!
You can always keep up to date on what's happening over facebook!
Over a perfectly relaxing cup of coffee!

Winnie in her pristine holiday home! 

White furniture and floor with bulldogs? 

Holiday Selfie

Families

No it's not the Blue's Brothers but a rare-as-hens teeth screen shot of the Prof with his nephew on the rides at Broadstairs Water Gala.
The Prof has a small family compared to mine and one which is run on very different lines as you would expect. it's dynamics are interesting to watch and invariably this leads me to think of my own family and parenting, even though, I am now technically an orphan.
The Prof's family are more sedate than mine, I shared this fact a day or so ago
Mine can ( and were) quite raucous after a small sherry or three and The Prof reminded me of this fact as he recalled our wedding reception.
I think he enjoys my family's silliness

Anyhow,it looks like another warm day here on the Kent Coast and I am going to a second hand bookshop to buy something I can really get my teeth in as the beach hut calls us yet again
I shall leave you with an emailed photo from teenage boffin Cameron who has been overseeing the field. Daryl, Abe and Glen are looking mighty fine!

Health & Safety

It's water gala day here in Broadstairs today which historically, from what I can gather was always a good natured It's a knockout! 

Water Gala Day used to mean Millers and Sweeps fighting on the beach with soot and flour. burly men pulling at each other in  tugs of war...and good looking blokes swinging at each other over a greasy poles! 

Yes all good clean English fun! 

Now Health and Safety has moved in even Neptune ( who used to wade into the bay, all glorious and wet) now has to be ferried onto land by rubber dingy, presumably hiding a life jacket under his seaweed! 

Lie In

Our beach hut is around the 8th from the left! 

Broardstairs is picture postcard pretty!
We opened up the beach hut for a few hours yesterday afternoon and watched the shenanigans of seaside life which included a very inebriated Network Rail worker sharing school boy homophobic jokes with our neighbours!
I couldn't take too much umbrage with him as he seemed like a genuiningly nice bloke

Today , I think I shall sleep on the beach.
I was hoping for a lie in, what with no little ( and big) dog babies demanding walks and such like but the low level yap-yap-yap  of a neighbours dog combined with a different bed and the hysterical screeching of the herring gulls around 5am all conspired against restful slumber.

I have eyes like piss holes in snow this morning!

But, the sun is out.
The sky is blue,
My coffee is strong
And I'm writing to you!

Hey ho!

Poor Blogger

I've been a poor specimen of a blogger over the last few days.
Not replying to my comments seem send some fellow writers into a state of near hysterical apoplexy, such is the transgression from blogging etiquette.
But we are on holiday for a week, so I shall endeavour to catch up with things on an ad hoc basic as the Prof and I enjoy the Kent coast.
So, what happens to the animals when we are away I hear you ask?
Well we have a cottage sitter who looks after the house with animal helper Pat overseeing Albert care. Sailor John and Village elder Islwyn are sharing field duties with teenage boffin Cameron acting as back up and very shortly I shall be taking Mary and William to their Kennels .
Yesterday George, in his usual jaunty way, bounced into my sister's house for his week of pampering and the fat diva, after my facebook plea for a local homely bed and breakfast has settled down quite nicely thank you very much in the home of a work friend .
This was her facebook photo from last night

How loyalties can shift once the man of the house is cooking roast beef!

Sunday

George and The Prof are sunbathing on the lawn. winnie is cooling her nipples on the cold concrete of the path and Mary is tied to the metal chair by the front door to keep her out of trouble.
William has retired to the cool cttage interior and is curled up on the easy chair.
Albert is over in the churchyard stalking rabbits
And I am watching it all as theChurch bell sounds off to herald afternoon sevice

What are you doing this Sunday afternoon

Bugger

Sometimes you look and feel like this 

When all you want to be , is ....this

A Small Tits Up

Small things conspire against you sometimes
I'm working all day  tomorrow and don't want to
The Prof and I have just had a row over a miscommunication
Mary has been stung by a wasp whist playing with the neighbour's dog and is now acting all useless . (She is presently lying fallorn with George under the kitchen table)
But lets look on the bright side
Weaver seems to be improving ( good on yer girl)
We are on holiday to Broadstairs very soon! ( with our own beach hut! )
And The Walking Dead returns in Oct...
Things could be worse

Speak on Sunday

Filth even

For a few days now, I have noticed that the butter in the butter dish has had a strange , slightly ridged surface.
I wondered if it was a new kind of wrapper that had caused it
WRONG!
After making the Prof's marmite on toast this morning, I came back into the kitchen to prepare my own breakfast.
Only to see
Albert licking the butter pat, with his eyes closed.

Poundland/ lodge Moor

I went to the poundland store today which is unfortunately full of the great unwashed.
But it was a fruitful visit as for only four whole pound coins
I bought a washing up bowl, cleaning wipes for the car, a set of sports earphones ( so I Can listen to music when out for my power walks) and a cd of Cher's love Hurts album.

I have not heard this track for an absolute age, but it brought back some wonderful memories
It's Fires Of Eden and although this is the one and only YouTube version available, it will do as it reminds me of singing along to it after too many beers with some nursing friends and a group of rehabing spinal injury patients all in their wheelchairs in the bar of the Three Merry Lads, which was located by the gates of Lodge Moor Hospital.
Two sets of young people 
Therapists and patients 
All sharing a good time


I sang along with the cd at the top of my voice on the way home
Like I said HAPPY DAYS

Dull Thursday

A summer's day in Wales.
Grey and cold and wet. We stopped at the Church gate to listen to the funeral hymn being sung.
There is nothing more melancholy than a Welsh funeral on a wet day.
I didn't know the chap who was being buried. He lived out of the village and cared for a wife with severe dementia. She, I was reliably informed afterwards, had the presence of  mind to ring for an ambulance after he had collapsed. Unfortunately she wasn't well enough to attend the service.
We then went to the Affable despot's house to feed their fish and  family gecko as they are away. I tied the dogs to the gate, fed the fish in their kitchen tank and then went to water the gecko ( who seems to be the most useless animal on earth as it neither seems to move or react ) as I was giving him a quick squirt with the moisturiser gun I heard a sudden bang from the bedroom above, then another and another and thinking I had suddenly disturbed an intruder I went to the bottom of the stairs and called out a fairly ineffectual and girly " hello? " up into the darkness .
A moment later Winnie suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs, she was smiling broadly. Obviously she had slipped her lead and had been enjoying herself greatly exploring a new home.

It took me an age to sponge down the fat paw prints from the carpet.

In The Fruit Bowl

I turned around after preparing stir fry vegetables for dinner

And this is what I saw

News Just In

Relating to point 5 in the previous post

The Prof has promised me a trip back to the big apple next year

if I reach my desired weight loss! 

Off for a power walk! 

I Want

After a 6 am walk ! The dogs and I went back to bed.
I dreamed an odd dream about having a new bath tub fitted and woke up all upset that it wasn't true
It was one of those bloody lovely vintage round topped tubs that seem so common in America.
I've always wanted one.

Before I summoned the energy to drag my carcass out of bed, I played one of those little mind games people play when putting off the inevitable .
What ten things would I ask for if I had the chance.
Nothing too big, nothing greedy.
But, ten arbitrary things that would make me squeal with delight.

1.  Well number one is the bath.An American , deco ( ish) bath with a gentle curved top.
2.  The kitchen cabinets from Mrs Miniver's kitchen
3.  A "new"enamel cooking pan to replace my old one which was thrown out recently
4.  A patchwork quilt
5.  My 34 inch waistline
6.  A dog sink
7.  A posh ink pen
8.  A one off trip to comic con to meet the cast of The Walking Dead
9.  Calorie free scotch eggs ( unlimited supply)
10  A1940 cinematic housekeeper.

A lesson in show stealing

I know we were just chatting about drag queen names

( am loving your suggestions btw)

But this short video has just been emailed to me

It shows Gladys (" i'm not saying anything at the show") Jones

effectively stealing the show by giving her own brief speech..

I'd wish I'd given her the mike

What's Your Drag Queen Name?

An occasional guilty pleasure in Bwthyn Y Llan is the screamingly over-the-top RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, for those that don't know, DragRace is basically a foul mouthed, alternative beauty contest where 14 dragqueens sashay, scream and bicker for a top spot in front of the stunningly diva judge RuPaul. 

It's all terribly loud, contrived, bitchy and full of those sassy stereotypical one liners that Terence Stamp out of Priscilla would be proud of.

Yes all incredible fun!

The queens' drag names are just as entertaining as the frocks
Jiggly Caliente, Pandora Boxx, Jinx Monsoon, Sharon Needles Laganja Estranja and Ginger Minj are just a few of the ladies giving it large !

What would your drag name be?
I asked my friend Nigel this question once and without a pause he said Gloria Abyss
Good answer!
So what is your drag name ?
Answers on a postcard! 

Boys Will Be Boys

It's a long time since I was an adolescent .
But I still recognise teenage behaviour when I see it!
The three abandoned juvenile bantam cockerels have now set up a bachelor pad in hut 4 in the Ukrainian Village.
They spend most of their time mooching around on the street corners eyeing up the bigger girls with the false look and  swagger of boys that had never touched a female breast .
From time to time one of the hens will tire of their chirpy energy and will strut over to where the boys are chattering, sending the teens into a panicky mass of insecure hormones.
Chaos will then ensue, with awkward feathered feet galloping through the grass that needs a strim.
I need names for them....any ideas?

The boys don't know what to do with a real woman! 

What went wrong

1. Auntie Glad cut up one of the exhibit cakes which had been placed in the kitchen for safety and distributed it for the refreshments! 
2. Mrs Williams ( not her real name) who lives very near the hall spent the day muttering and yelling about the " inconsiderate parking" which galled me seeing that she was once the Flower Show Chairman and knows full well the amount of work that goes on setting up exhibits.
3. Mr Rowlands ( our biggest vegetable exhibitor) broke down ( car not emotionally) before the show and missed the deadline for entries. He arrived an hour late, and through a bit of hysterical pleading ( on my part) we were able to get 6 out of his 20 exhibits placed and judged. Thought the man was going to have a stroke! 
4. The winning chutney was in the wrong jar! 
5. Through personal circumstances several of our domestic class and Veg entrants were unable to show this year which is a shame and pretty understandable but I was slightly miffed by a couple of no shows including one villager who, when seeing me in the pub after the show stated loudly that they hadn't got a decent thing in their garden to exhibit! ( not realizing that  had just gone past their house and had seen the beautiful display on offer! - attendence apathy does irritate me, but I guess it's as valid enough reason not to come as any other. 
6. Real life sometimes gets in the way of this  chocolate box view I have of the world and it's good to be reminded of the fact sometimes. Teenage boffin, Cameron is having a bad time (with a  poorly grandmother) and I was glad to share some advice about nursing care with him as he checked on how his chutney got marked. Trelawnyd Val, I understand was having a hard time too, as The Flower Show was always loved by her partner Peter who died in the spring -this year's show must have held bittersweet memories for her.. We send her our love and best wishes.
7. Although we made slightly more money this year than we did last, attendence was noticably down yesterday, which depressed me somewhat. I guess Flower Shows are a bit of a dinosaur nowadays......
8. Hey ho 

And finally......

No more Flower Show talk for another year I promise

But I wanted to share this photo which was sent to me 

this evening,

It's Gladys' speech