Going Gently

Christmas Day

It’s Christmas Day and it is as dark as night. Roger and Dorothy are with me down the lane. Mary is sat in Bluebell, ears pricked. She is coming to work with me today .

Bitches fall out sometimes and never forget a spat, and poor Iwan ( Trendy Carol’s Husband ) found himself in the middle of a noisy bitch fight yesterday, which was unfortunate .

To help with frayed nerves, my old girl will be coming to work with me , and will be spending time sleeping in Bluebell and being walked and loved and cooed over by a plethora of Hospice staff, patients and visitors.

Dorothy is too excitable in the car and will bark incessantly during the 3/4 of an hour journey , not something I can cope with on Christmas Morning , so Mary it is.

But at the moment it’s just me, Roger and Dotty

And the dark lane , in uncharacteristic warm weather.

A barn owl , huge and almost silent swoops over our heads but is missed by the dogs in their sniffing, I watch it in awe….

I’m tired and have not slept well

2023 is coming towards its end and I’m going to think about that over coffee before I leave

I want 2024 to be a happier year, but I’m dammed to know just how I make that happen

I was four cards short in the living room Christmas card Garland 😰🎅🏼🌲🌈🎄🥃🎊🍷🍹

Hey ho

Happy Christmas xx

80%

6 am Christmas Eve……..bucket of coffee between cold hands.

Last night I watched a schmaltzy Swedish movie, until late

The Christmas Cards reached 80 % the. Circumference of the living room

Almost there. I will wait until tomorrow to see if my old tradition finally materialises

A minor obsession admittedly, but suddenly ,and strangely an important one this morning

As I leave the cottage ,I spy a small chocolate Santa , standing on the Kitchen wall

He’s sheltering under a bit of bent cardboard

Mrs Trellis has been at work

José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad

The sound worm in my head today. One of the doctors at work has been singing it incessantly, I’m sending a bit of silliness to reader Virginia who perhaps needs the diversion today🎄

Chic Eleanor texted me yesterday afternoon and like a teenager would suggest thumbed an exciting

“Meet you in The Crown in ten minutes” text!

Luckily I was holding my phone when she messaged

We arrived together

It was lovely,

“I do look a sight darling I’m in my scruffs” she shared breathlessly

I thought she looked magnificent,

Even her pashmina looked Christmassy

We stopped at the pub for a good hour and half before leaving for home

Hug fest in the car park before we parted.

She made my day, as she so often does.

So today….

The final village cards will be delivered . A book to Mrs Trellis, cards to the Manley’s and to others.

Jackson Nurseries which lie just outside village delivered a pot of spring bulbs to every house in the village, a tradition which is a sweet one.

Before she skipped off home, Eleanor gave me a tiny gift in the shape of a felt heart

“It’s for your first Christmas Tree next year” she cooed

“Now you have enough decorations, no there’s no excuse”

I thought about the beautiful iridescent glass bauble, the magnificent rubber chicken and now the heart, and a score of others put away in drawers and boxes and in the tea caddy on my desk

And She was right

Grades

No work today!!!!!

I want to go to the cinema but there’s nothing of note to go and see during the day.

I will mooch through NETFLIX later, me thinks

My phone was pinging busily earlier,

My college Counselling group.

The grades are out on our first research pieces of work

B- for my Essay and B- for my poster and presentation

Marks I’m very happy with and lots of room for improvement which I need.

Lots of deliveries today

A book from Nu, Bespoke scotch eggs from Colin, Bombay gin from Trendy Carol ( sporting something festive in red and white)

Sing For Water

It’s been a particularly hard shift at work.

I didn’t get back home until well after nine pm.

And so, after feeding and walking the dogs, I lit the fire

Threw off my crocs and drank a huge Bombay Sapphire and tonic ( with cucumber slice!!!!) before sitting down to a plethora of messages asking where I was!!

Tonight is the TCA matriarch Lorraine’s Christmas Party in the big house on the other side of the village

I’m too knackered to go out and now it’s far too late to do so

Buts it’s lovely to be remembered and to be worried about

“ You give us a safe space to feel what we feel,
Allowing us to mourn, but mainly, to heal.”

This line from Hattie’s poem has a resonance with me as this following post from the winter 2018 outlines

It was the most lonely and saddest part of my entire life

Ise Oluwa

I often write about those beautiful little moments in life that catch you unawares.

I guess it's the drama queen in me

My recent encounter with a kindness inside St. Asaph Cathedral was one I shall remember for quite some time but tonight's experience will rank a close second in that memory bank of moving moments.

In choir tonight we learned the Nigerian song Ise Oluwa -sing for water

And after a bit of a struggle we nailed it!!!!

Before we finished practice Jamie our eleven year old choir master asked us to sing it again, but this time very Gently and as we did he disappeared and turned off the lights of the little Welsh village hall.

In almost absolute darkness over fifty people sang without the chains of sight and competition and self consciousness and the noise we produced was simply magical.

And the silence after we had finished proved that we all had been moved in the same lovely way, almost everyone was crying

This choir has nourished me

And has healed me

Rain check

Chic Eleanor , stood me up yesterday

Well technically she did send me an apology by text but as I’d left my phone in Bluebell and forgot where I’d put it, things got all a bit complicated.

Suffice to say I had a KFC supper in a car park , lol

I had wondered if she’d bail, as when I went out with my family on Tuesday night she was there with the girls, and by the look of said girls who had all flopped in front of the restaurant open fire , lots and lots of Christmas Prosecco had been quaffed

“ Darling John” Eleanor called out flapping her pashmina over her shoulder and she hurried over to give me a big beautifully coiffured hug, much to the surprise of my family who had never seen me , deep in the clutches of such a stylish matron before.

Her resulting hangover had lasted over 24 hours

So I stayed in and cried at The Repair Shop and felt sorry for myself

Off to work today, bucket of coffee and barabrith at the kitchen table

This poem was written by Hattie

It is about choirmaster Jamie ( and his 1940 RAF moustache)

It describes so well why I love choir and I’m so looking forward in returning in the new year

Jamie

Dashing moustache, a rainbow flash,

Flamingo stance - what a catch!

Spiralling here and there, flailing his arms,

Always a grin - it's part of his charms

He somehow herds us, there's never any fuss,

only grace and fun and the occasional SHUSHH!

Māori, Welsh, Ukrainian, Russian,

What's coming next? Oh yes - a concussion!

On rare occasions he grants our wish,

What a treat! we say, to sing in English

He works us so hard: Stand up! Sit down!

It's just like a workout! (it makes the men frown)

What fun we have all because of you,

Your dance moves and songs have us boogying too.

Altos, tenors, basses and sops,

We all think you're splendid, Yep, you're the tops!

A nod to absent friends in a moment of clarity,

They will always be part of our choir family.

You give us a safe space to feel what we feel,

Allowing us to mourn, but mainly, to heal.

We take within us this place you have built,

It’s a home you've created, One that will never wilt.

So here's to you our one and only chappy,

JAMIE, simply put - You make us HAPPY!

Barabrith

I love the sound of the wind in the trees and the patter of rain on the windows. Distant growling thunder is another favourite and is now the one I fall asleep to most nights thanks to Hey Google.

It’s funny what habits you get into when left to your own devices.

Animal Helper Pat, called around yesterday with her traditional gifts of bara brith wrapped in silver paper with a tiny red bow in the centre and a large sprig of holly wrapped in a matching red ribbon.

So today I will pop my gift in and deliver a dozen or so cards to other villagers not yet handed over

It’s blustery today but mild