Sods Law

Big breaths……

I woke up to snow this morning.

Got the dogs into the car, took them for a walk at Dyserth

Bluebell’s gear stick came undone as we tried to get home.

A garage job. 

I forgot my phone.

Big breaths……

Got dogs out of car, walked towards Prestatyn three miles away, towards my sister’s house 

Dorothy was giving up the ghost by the time we made town.

My sister gave us a lift home thank goodness.

Now I’m grabbing a quick coffee before my brother in law comes to give me a tow to the garage

Thank goodness for him.

No essay writing , 

No car to get to work tomorrow night 

Big breaths …..

What a fucking week 

What Would Thora Hird Do?

 This week has been a bit of bust if I was honest.

Yesterday I’d planned to meet with Nu in London.

We were looking forward to a chat and something nice to eat and the spectacle of English National Opera’s Its a wonderful life.

But then British Railways had a meltdown day with excuses galore why no trains were leaving Crewe for London yesterday morning.

Our somewhat cynical guard told us three reasons for the hold up. Overhead cable problems, people on the line , and congestion of traffic but he knew those didn’t bode well as three services to London had already been cancelled due to lack of staff.

I had planned to be in London before 2 pm. 

I was still stat on a train in Crewe station at 2pm so with a heavy heart, like many other passengers  I turned and got the Chester train home.

Seeing Nu was just what I needed.

I have a 2500 word essay to complete for collage on a Monday, and the rest of the week hasn’t been the kindest so Remembering Peter Kay in Phoenix Nights and “ What would Thora Hird do?”

I’ve downloaded some “ nice” movies , ( including The Holiday with Kate Winslett) , bought a large lasagne and intend to spend the day mooching on the sofa

Martin

In the middle 1990s I had a sort of a thing with a guy, I will call Martin.

My relationship with P was on the rocks and was a real disaster and I found solace and excitement  over some months with Martin when he had a spare evening free from his busy lifestyle. 

I liked Martin.

He was witty and intelligent and loved art house movies and theatre and good food.

He took nothing too seriously but was always clear that he had a long term partner at home who he adored. 

Playing away was always acceptable but only with a chosen one ( or two) 

And Strangely I felt flattered. 

Martin gave away big bear hugs as though it was your birthday everyday, 

He played Chess exceptionally well and liked to read novels aloud.

He laughed a lot. 

Our haphazard relationship ended when I met my husband to be, but at the end of the first lockdown we met each other again in London and in Chester and in Sheffield and it was lovely to feel the same about him albeit with sore knees, bad backs and jovial visits to the loo in the middle of the night.

Last week I found out that he had died.

And only a few days ago, through a mutual friend, I found out that Martin had taken his own life.

It’s his funeral today.

Self Help

 The Trelawnyd Community Association ( TCA) held its first heating hub afternoon in the village yesterday. 

Designed to be a comfortable place to keep warm , the afternoon proved to be more a social activity than a panacea against fuel bills but everyone that turned up had a free soup, bread roll, hot drink and cake .

Over a dozen people turned up which was an encouraging number for a first go.

I was happy at ladle duty

The TCA is run well. It’s full of good nature which promotes lateral thinking and inclusivity and activities taken on always seem to take place with humour and warmth. 

The youth club is going from strength to strength, as is the toddler group. The casino night was a success as is the pond renovation , coffee mornings and now the warm hub afternoons. 

The community orchard, trees are growing well just outside the village and will be sharing their fruit with anyone who needs it next year.

The TCA is an example of self help and when Old Trevor had another fall in the middle of the night and had effectively locked himself into his bungalow, it would seem that his family were on their own when he eventually managed to use his mobile phone and call for help at 8 am

The police promised to break in and informed the ambulance service but a local locksmith sorted the door out before they could arrive. 

I managed to assess Trev’s condition with a call handler on the other end of the phone who was obviously reading from an algorithm he wasn’t that familiar with 

Ambulance waiting time over 6 hours.

The system is almost broken.

Coffee at the kitchen table now, feeling thoughtful 

Off to college shortly 

Vigil

 I wrote this post, yesterday.

I’m sat in an empty waiting room. 

There is a tv but it’s switched off and thanks to covid there’s no magazines to read.

There is a small selection of wooden toys in a box in the corner, the sort no children ever want to play with.

I’ve been here for two hours, so far.

The vet and his colleague have been treating Roger for the duration. The surgery is seventeen miles from Trelawnyd and so I’ve resisted the vet’s suggestion of going home .

I think they’ve forgotten about me.

I feel scruffy.

I’m wearing my big blue winter jumper, the one with the hole in the sleeve. 

I’ve poked my thumb through it now which makes a sort of glove and it feels good as the waiting room heating isn’t on. 

The other dogs are curled up in the car. They are asleep.

The vet appears, a fresh faced boy of a professional . 

He’s articulate and doesn’t treat me as though I’m dense, which I like. 

Roger is still somewhat “ jittery’ and needs to be observed a while longer

Did I want to go home and come back later? 

When I shook my head he asked 

“Is there someone that you want to take over here then ?”

“There’s only me” I told him 

Suddenly feeling very alone in a somewhat upsetting day.

I was brought a cup of tea and half a Kit Kat which was kind.

I hate the feeling, today has given me

I suspect many Singletons do when the chips are down a little and you only have yourself to deal with things.

I know Roger will be fine, I know I can afford the callout charges

But it’s all a bit harder dealing with things alone.

No one to moan to,

No one to bounce off…..

Anyhow, sitting here, I found this older blog entry from a decade ago .

It amused me 

I was standing over by the counter , which is in front of me now, in times when the previous junior vet looked like George Clooney.

It’s worth another look

One of the refugees has a chesty cough

I had run out of antibiotics

So I rang the vets

Booked with the receptionist to collect some

And drove up to the surgery late this morning.

The receptionist must have been on her break for only George Clooney

( the GOB smackingly good looking vet) was sat behind the desk eating a sandwich

I straightened my hair and gave him one of my best smiles

And before I could say anything, he stood up and sang out a lusty

" Mr Gray!" 

And suddenly  I went all silly realising that he had actually remembered my name

" you have a good memory for faces, I haven't been in for ages"

I wittered.

George shook his handsome head

" Not really" he answered in his deep chocolate voice

and  picking  up the bottle of antibiotic from the counter,

he added simply and somewhat wryly

" Your name is on the bottle"

Chocolate

 An hour, almost two,  after a walk, Roger started to get restless and odd.

He had found something to chew on in a discarded carrier bag  at the lane border and even though I hadn’t witnessed it, I’d seen such symptoms before. 

18 years ago my first Welsh had eaten chocolate and was incredibly poorly, 

The poor lad vomited and opened his bowels all over Bluebell’s back seat

I’m glad he did

A day at the vets, is not what either of us wanted but hours and hours  later , after activated charcoal treatment, various blood tests and close observation he was allowed home looking stressed and tired and upset and I drove him home looking stressed and tired and upset ……but very relieved too.

Fairy Lights

My New York snow globe on the mantle

 I sort of don’t know my arse from my elbow.

I worked a long day Thursday , then covered a night for a colleague last night and am back doing overtime tomorrow on a long day. 

This afternoon and evening I’m arranging fairy lights and eating comfort food.

And that’s it.

An articulate and rather passionate lady was collecting for the local food bank at Tesco’s  and an impromptu speech to shoppers had me moved to tears.

So much so I left her with some selection boxes and tins of dog food. 

She was aided by a rather charming looking Father Christmas with a big black beard 

I could have have sat on his knee quite happily and shared my Christmas list 

I’ve bought a cheap new phone too and a new unchewable cover , and apart from a brief conversation; with Mrs Trellis this morning , I’ve not seen anyone non work in days . 

Mrs Trellis had brought me a homemade Christmas card made from cotton wool and twigs 

It amuses me that she has signed all correspondence, for a few years now  with the one word monika ….. Trellis 

 

Advice

This below post is an old one, 

It’s approximately  a decade old 

It’s full of nice memories of old friend Bunty and my animals  ( Bunty who has recently moved to Tel Aviv with her latest girlfriend a Jewish security expert and part time bodyguard) 

Bunty sent me a text as follows earlier this year,

I’ve just reread her message in my broken phone 

“Jonney Boy, I’ve done it. Ive finally moved in with Gilah in Tel Aviv. Her flat is a bit shitty but the weather is nice…..hope you’ve had a good shag recently  . Bunty x”

I forgot to reply .

Village tongues may be clacking this morning as yesterday, I was seen leaving Pat ( the animal helper's) house with a large bunch of garden flowers. Pat is on a holiday cruise , so I am watering her tomatoes everyday.......the flowers I had permission to remove.....I thought I'd just get that straight.
Anyhow,
Last week, at the animal wholesales, I bumped into Bunty the lesbian smallholder from Llanfair
Talhalarn. I was buying layers pellets , she was looking for rat poison. Though part of me thought that Bunty didn't really need poison to kill anything. She always looks as though she could strangle a hippo with only one hand.
I asked her how the geese were, the ones that she bought from me last year.
" the snotty bastards are still keeping their distance" Bunty moaned " I still can't tame them"
I didn't have the heart to tell her, that with her big booming voice, she was never likely to...ever.
Animals need the Penelope Wilton approach rather than the Brian Blessed

There are several rules that need to be followed where the taming of animals are concerned

You need to move slowly at first and get on with doing quiet routine jobs around them without looking at the animal you want to tame.
If you have jobs or zombie games to play on the ipad, sit down near the animal and keep quietly busy. The animal invariably will come towards you to give you the " once over". When they do approach talk to the animals quietly. This works very well with geese and sheep who are naturally curious...if you are up for it.....lie down in the field face down ( although don't do this with pigs!)
Use food bribery using favourite food stuffs. Cheap white bread is nectar ,to sheep and geese and turkey's and hens adore teats of dog food. Always leave the animals " wanting more" use the same feed bucket or bowl every day and use a consistent animal call to " Marshall the troops"
Try not to dress in different clothes and hats . Consistency is the key.

Never try too hard.
Things you mustn't do when taming animals
Don't have a crafty piss when geese are about beak height is invariably at willy height
Never scream like a girl in the vicinity of potentially hysterical Indian runner ducks
Never hold an animal tentatively. Most animals will go " limp" if you hold them firmly
Keep small screaming children and toddlers locked up in a cage if possible.

And my last post about her from 4 years ago

Last night I went out with Bunty and her new girlfriend Katy.
I was still hung over from my night shift and tried to give Bunty a raincheck text but she was having non of it. They picked me up just before eight and we were in a gay pub in Chester by a quarter to nine.
Bunty checked me over after we had exited the car.
"Nice new pants Graybags!" She bellowed pointing at my clean trousers
"Sainsbury's " I told her
Bunty rolled her eyes
It's been a while since I've been in a gay anywhere!
The pub was loud, good humoured and busy and apart from a somewhat sticky moment where Bunty tried to introduce me to an uninterested but polite bear cub half my age, the night went ok.
I would have preferred a quieter venue but Bunty was on a roll

As Bunty got happily drunk and flirted in a loud goodnatured way with everyone, male and female Katy and I had a long chat . Katy, I liked immediately, she has a job working with abused women and deals with sex trafficing issues locally so the conversation was a rather illuminating and interesting one to me, a bloke who has absolutely no experience in such issues and the two of us carried on the conversation on the way home as Bunty snored away on the back seat.

When we neared the village Bunty was still asleep but she rallied briefly at the suggestion of a McDonalds stop off.
" We'll go gay clubbing next time" she suggested as she bolted down a handful of fries and I was grateful for a wink and shake of the head from Katy which said don't worry- it's not going to happen- I know you are not up to that!
At the top of the lane I said my big sloppy burger tasting goodbye kisses with Bunty and a more civilised peck with Katy who , as I started to get out of the car, squeezed my hand " Chin up dearheart" she said
She obviously reads my blog

( I was sad Katy lasted only a couple of years , I liked her)