A Touch Of Class

 

Nuala texted me around three to see if I was watching
Of course she knew I would have been.
I found the whole thing rather moving.
It wasn’t grand, I thought, but more beautifully choreographed and the more personal touches such as the use of the land rover and his riding carriage with his gloves left quietly on his seat were simple and powerful reminders of the man.

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss



 Last night I got home just in time for The Big Gay Quiz. Our team won a respectable fourth place, which was fun. Afterwards I watched the lovely gay, Yorkshire Farmer film Gods Own Country which is a delight and incredibly moving.
It must rank as my favourite gay movie 
Anyhow....

There is a famous line in Gone With The Wind when Rhett Butler turns on the spoilt and game playing Scarlet O’Hara

“Open your eyes and look at me. No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

 It’s a cracking quote and is one that got me thinking on my commute home yesterday.
Where did I have my first proper kiss? 
I’m discounting the time I was unexpected kissed by a policeman in full uniform when he came around to the psychiatric unit I was working in for a brew on night shift. 
I was more surprised than romantically aroused when that happened, so much so , I just stood there like a pudding and was still puckering with closed eyes long after he had exited the building...
Hey ho
Happy days
I think my first, properly romantic gay kiss was with the older brother of my first girlfriend .
I was 18. He was 26 
He was in the RAF ( hummm there is a uniform theme going on here) and I was a bank clerk and I ended up sharing his bedroom with him at my girlfriend’s house when he was home on leave.
I can’t remember the whys and wherefores 
But I do remember the kiss 
Chaste and gentle and of so pivotal in the life of gauche teen 
It would be several years later when the kiss’s ripple spread wide on my life’s pond
But it sowed the seed towards my coming out 


Luxury

 


I’m writing this on my lunch break...it’s 17.29 lol
Hard shift made better by a gift from a local ice cream parlour to all the staff
Bloody lovely

The Daughters I Never Had.


Albert and his deformed leg

For this week I have been working one day off one day on. 
And apart from meeting up with an old friend this afternoon, all I have done today is sleep.
Feeling that I’ve wasted a bit of the day , I woke up enough this evening to be more productive, and in the warmth of dusk I’ve listened to David Sidaris as I potted up more cheap coloured plants by the back door.


Albert watched me from the sunny garden wall, his deformed  leg stretching out painfully  before him. 
He blinked slowly at me in that silent hello that cats do when when you catch their eye.
Then sat still pretending to be asleep.
He remained there, until the sun shifted and I had retreated to the kitchen in order to oil the work tops and feed the dogs.
The cottage is tidy and I’m pleased.
I sit at the kitchen table and reviewed my to do list.
I didn’t cross anything off today.
In the middle of my list, just under 
Inform car insurance company about my speeding fines
And just above,
Pay fucking vets bill
Was the words
Hattie’s gift

Hattie leaves the village in a few days.
For several years she has lived in one of the cottages by the old post office. They are tiny street based cottages accessed to the rear by a tunnelled ginnel located every third home. and hers had its own pretty little back garden which faced south .
Now she and her boyfriend are moving out of the village to a new build in the next village a jump to their own home which is wonderfully exciting and fortunate in this time where the housing ladder is so difficult for young people to climb.
I will see Hattie in choir of course, but some of me will still miss her move from just around the corner. 
She is a young woman of warmth who possess a big heart and she is a person who has the envious and innate talent for making people smile. 
The villages took her to their heart readily and easily . 
She reminds me of my nephew’s partner, Rebecca who possesses similar traits, the both of them, in my mind ideal daughter material.
The daughters I never had. I thought idly today.
I would have made a good dad me thinks, and I told Albert that when he followed me indoors 
He blinked at me in his agreement

Hattie and I at the Folk concert at the village Hall 

 

Every Day , say something

 

I’ve blogged ( more or less) every day since 2006
It’s a labour of love and strange as it may seem, it’s never been a chore, even on days like today when I’ve finally managed to sit down after a work shift minutes after 9 pm, I never not want to write at least something.
Blogging is a friend I need to say hello to every day 
The Great British Sewing Bee is on the tv, the dogs have been fed and walked and I’m wondering what to chat about.
I want to be urbane and witty and wisecracking tonight, but it just won’t bounce forth and that’s fine ,  
And so I’ve slipped on my fat bastard jogger bottoms , lit the fire and am now watching the 12 talented and rather sweet sewing nerds do their thing, as my feet throb gently like two  hairy and slightly podgy Belisha beacons.
Hey ho.........hey ho

Horses Noses

 


The ponies are back in my field.
A mare and a colt
Two friendly souls who like to blow down their noses then breathe in your smell.
They please me
I drove to the Mostyn Gallery shop and bought a print for my bedroom and some bespoke greetings cards
I had take out coffee on the beach




Love

 

One of the privileges of working in palliative care is that you work alongside people that truly love each other.
Looking after someone who is dying that you care about  is a labour of love and where as it is not always possible or practical to always achieve the death that so many of us want ie at home in your own bed, there are a whole plethora of services , like ours, which are specifically designed to help that wish be realised but not without commitment and care from loved ones .

I have witnessed true love at these times.
And I have just witnessed it today, so powerful it was that on my way back from the community to the hospice I had  to sit in my car on north Shore for a few moments and watch the sea with the windows wide open and with the breeze gathering my thoughts and soothing my feelings.

I have witnessed.....
Pure, undiluted, warts and all love 
Desperate love
Tired and hopeful and hopeless love
And I am moved , every time I witness it. 

To be loved that strongly is such a privilege.