Bookshop

The weather turned again in the middle of the night and by dawn I could hear hail lashing against the cottage windows.
I had banked up the fire last night but the air felt cold and Mary, who had been shorn of her coat only yesterday, shivered and crept closer in bed, curling up under my chin.

I got up around 8 am
The village was deserted and wet and cold when we faced the day
I did see Polish Monika snug in her fur parka
She is the new caretaker of the village Hall and was going to open up
We chatted for a while...…... she's a sweet girl.
I feel brighter today despite the weather and as we passed Mrs Trellis' neat little bungalow and saw her head bowed over the keys of her piano, I thought it was a day for a mooch around a  musky bookshop

I'm now off to find one

Donate

I've never lost anyone I love primarily to cancer

I know I will

This video blew me away

Stand up to cancer ( click here)

Fuck Off Facebook

Thoughtfully facebook sent me a message and photograph yesterday of a memory dated exactly one year ago.

It was a photo illustrating a meal out with my mother in law ,but the subtext of that seemingly happy night reminded me  it was the night I found out that my marriage was probably over.

That was a year ago.

and I have lived with the uncertainty of that news for all that time.

I have come to detest uncertainty.

it's power is insidious

Shifting sands do little for your psychi and your physical health especially when you may not have a home to go to after all of  the shenanigans of divorce are thrashed out

Regular readers will recognise that stress has directly fucked up my immune system big style and again this week I find myself cancelling the good stuff because of the bad

Bless him Gorgeous Dave offering a soup run!
Now that would give the neighbours something to gossip about!

I was due to meet up with a friend at a real ale pub in Conwy this afternoon so I have rescheduled that until next week and will book a badminton court with GD then too.
One step in front of another

I've been saving up for a dyson cordless vacuum for a few months now and this morning it arrived which doesn't seem like much to many but to me It was bloody exciting
Fuck life uncertainty
I can now HOOVER properly!

The Walking Dead finale

I'm still laughing at the Goldie Manure comment on my previous post, but have to spare a moment to remark on the finale of season 9 's The Walking Dead which aired tonight
After, the emotional romp of last week's character cull we had a more thoughtful, talky and rather deeper final episode with the survivors facing their first snow bound winter storm.
Suddenly the Walking Dead reminds me of those 1960 wagon train movies like The Way West with Alpha 's Whisperers playing the Indians alongside the snow covered walkers.
Showrunner Angela Kang has produced a visually impressive season 9 with graceful sweeping shots of the action set pieces such as tonight's walker appearance from under the snow drifts as well as giving the whole series a much needed dramatic reboot.
It's been the best season in four years especially when Negan saved Judith ...then I shed a little tear...
Now I have to wait until the Autumn until Season 10
Hey ho
I'm a sad bastard.

Malapropism

A while ago I treated myself to a ticket to see the Irish comic Dara Ò Briain . He is performing at the Storyhouse in Chester tonight .
I told my sister that I was going to see him and the news was met with certain level of mild incredulity
This surprised me as I thought my street cred  would have gone up a notch in my sister's eyes given the fact old Dara was a stalwart of Mock The Week and other such comedy shows
"I would have thought she wasn't quite your cup of tea" my sister commented as we drove out of Chester and then the penny dropped
"Who do you think I'm going to watch again?" I asked her
"Dora Bryan"  came the response

Now this mixing up of words and names runs in our family
My grandmother was famous for stating that she was  nearly killed by a falling Insanitary bomb during the war ( instead of an Incendiary bomb)
I once worked with a ward sister who told me off for rushing a dressing with the words
"Patience is a virgin"

Malapropisms anyone?

Breakfast

I knew I wasn't 100% yesterday
Today I suspect I have the start of a chest infection.
A few days ago a poorly patient , having no social skills in politeness, coughed directly into my face with a phlegm filled mouthfull of infection.
In my 37 years as a nurse I've been covered in much worse, believe me,

A couple of weeks ago George started to be incredibly slow out on his walks.
He was still black eyed and vital but everything was done at a more pedestrian pace than usual
I got him checked out then and on last Monday when he got somewhat breathless out on the Dyserth railway walkway.
He has a degree of heart failure

This morning just him and I went to our favourite cafe on Colwyn Bay Promenade.
No Mary playing up, no Winnie bumming toast from the patrons .
Just George and I with plate of toast and a large coffee.
He sat on the chair next to me watching me carefully as I pulled the crust off the thick doorstop slabs
He's always been polite to the point of indifference except when food is concerned where he will let out an occasional sharp whine in hopeful anticipation of a tidbit
Even heart failure can't stop his addiction to food.
I dipped his portions into my coffee to soften it and blew the piece cold before passing it over
A woman at a nearby table laughed and pointed

And we shared a breakfast with our eyes half closed against the morning sun.

The Seagull

I bought a cheap ticket for the theatre tonight but I feel too jaded after nights to go.
I'm not feeling well today.

A few years ago, I fell for a simple glass study of a seagull which I noticed in a small gallery in Broadstairs.
My husband bought it and for months it sat in the window of the kitchen gathering dust and in risk of being smashed by Albert's gammy leg.
When we split I asked to keep it and today I had an idea to keep it safe.
I framed it.
And it looks mighty fine
It now is a constant reminder of the British seaside tradition
Of beach huts and sun loungers.
Steep cobbled streets and Morelli's ice cream
Of fish pie, micro pubs, people watching and of hot sand......overly hot sand beneath my feet.

Eating For Two

nothing to do with the post but it made me chuckle

I've been comfort eating for months now
and I've had enough of it.
I'm done with it
Nights don't help as I've gotten into the habit of eating shit because I am weary
Its much easier buying a portion of butter chicken from Sainsburys than cooking for one.
Yadda Yadda Yadda
It's no good belly aching about it all
I'm not stupid.
It's good that I 've had enough of it.
I've had enough of that quick oral fix.
I've had enough of eating in front of the tv

I'm waiting for the workmen from Welsh Water to turn up with my new water meter.
I haven't told Winnie yet, it will be a nice surprise for her.
As I wait I've cut butternut squash up and am roasting them with peppers and onions in order to make a spicy soup.
I've made a raspberry smoothie to drink at my  tomorrow morning 4am low sugar moments

and the new rule in the cottage is that all meals will be taken at the kitchen table
Eating better is the last gift I can give myself