Thoughtfully facebook sent me a message and photograph yesterday of a memory dated exactly one year ago.
It was a photo illustrating a meal out with my mother in law ,but the subtext of that seemingly happy night reminded me it was the night I found out that my marriage was probably over.
That was a year ago.
and I have lived with the uncertainty of that news for all that time.
I have come to detest uncertainty.
it's power is insidious
Shifting sands do little for your psychi and your physical health especially when you may not have a home to go to after all of the shenanigans of divorce are thrashed out
Regular readers will recognise that stress has directly fucked up my immune system big style and again this week I find myself cancelling the good stuff because of the bad
Now that would give the neighbours something to gossip about!
I was due to meet up with a friend at a real ale pub in Conwy this afternoon so I have rescheduled that until next week and will book a badminton court with GD then too.
One step in front of another
I've been saving up for a dyson cordless vacuum for a few months now and this morning it arrived which doesn't seem like much to many but to me It was bloody exciting
Fuck life uncertainty
I can now HOOVER properly!
They don't work as well as the corded ones.
ReplyDeleteBut even the corded ones have less power these days due to the new regulations. So there's really not that much difference.
DeleteThe night you found out your marriage was over. Heavy stuff John. Only going on what you have written, I reckon your former husband, or soon to be, was a toffee nosed prick and unworthy of your devotion. His mother dumped you too. I like you for your self. I don't like you for your devotion and love for him. For good or bad, you are better off without him.
ReplyDelete^THIS!
DeleteWell said.
DeleteNo bad mouthing please
DeleteNo point 😟
DeleteI know that none of us know the whole story,nor is it really any of our business, but it sounds like Andrew hit the nail on the head. You deserve so much more than this, you are a beautiful man inside & out. Even if you are snarky!
DeleteNow, I have to say, excuse me.
DeleteI hadn't seen your request before posting this. Just another example of you taking the high road.
Xxx
DeleteEnjoy your hoovering (dysoning?) - do it as vigorously and thoroughly as you can! Punch the hell out of a few cushions as well while you're at it. Helps to wring out a few frustrations. xx
ReplyDeleteI did
DeleteI spoke to a BT man this morning to report my Broadband problems and he was nice and helpful and guess what, I started crying. I know how fucked up we are x
ReplyDeleteI've texted u x
DeleteI actually love my cordless Dyson-sad but true!
ReplyDeleteMe too he's called Maximus
DeleteSo much better than my Mr Dyson
DeleteI have a GTech at the Van. Bloody brilliant. But back in Wales the Dyson rules. Even in the workshop where Alan has our old one for cleaning up.
ReplyDeleteShow off
Delete😄😀🤣🙃
DeleteYou should have a bloody big party when all this divorce crap (been there, done that and it's shit) is over and done with, to celebrate a new chapter in your life.
ReplyDeleteI have been excited by many things (I am having a trip to the tip on Thursday with my daughter, I am definitely looking forward to that) but sadly, a dyson, cordless or not wouldn't do it for me. But each to his own!
Will u come
DeleteWe will come from miles around and have a video link up for those that can't. We could take over The Crown for the night 😃
DeleteYou will love your Dyson cordless. Hope some of the stresses and bad stuff go away soon.
ReplyDeleteSue I hope so
DeleteI hope you feel better soon, John.
ReplyDeleteMe too darling
DeleteHeartfelt hugs. And I am leaning strongly to the same opinions as the lovely Andrew.
ReplyDeleteI love my Dyson cordless. Lots of power (it depends on the model) and clean ALL the filters regularly or it cuts out. (One of the few appliances where it really is worth reading and keeping the leaflet!)
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteNothing like a new appliance, especially one you’ve saved up for. I understand your excitement. Hope you feel better soon, this is just a dip in the road.
ReplyDeleteI hope so
DeleteI have Dyson envy. I had my last one for 13 years until it died. I let husband chops choose the new one, fool that I am, and he chose a bloody Shark. It weighs a ton, it's unwieldy, the dog is freaked out by its "headlamps", and I detest it. Enjoy a good, powerful suck John. Hehehe x
ReplyDeleteTakes one to know one dear hehehe x
DeleteI feel the same way about shoes as you do about your Dyson. Go for it. Anyway, you deserve better than someone who made you feel this way.
ReplyDeleteTwins xx
DeleteFeel better soon dear John.
ReplyDeleteI'm awaiting a cordless Dyson hairdryer. I was gifted the current one at Christmas but returned it - dryer part was nice but that huge, round, extra long cord almost took my already painful shoulder out of its socket - and in a small bathroom it felt overwhelming!
Enjoy your new vac - not sure they are available here yet, will check on that. But is it really heavy? That's the main problem I now have with most vacs and my rotator cuff problem, pushing a heavy model on carpet. In fact that job has been delegated to dear Bob now. As you told Gorgeous Dave,"don't get old."
There's a true special one out there for you John, just be patient.
Warm hugs - Mary
Mary , as usual,
DeleteThe voice of sanity
Ah- I got a new washer yesterday and it was better than Christmas. Who knew that a household appliance could bring such joy? Enjoy your Dyson.
ReplyDeleteYou should have let GD bring you some soup! Why not? You certainly do the same for others all the time. Now get better.
Xx
DeleteLove and hugs.xxxoooxxx
ReplyDeleteAnd to u
DeleteDo not under estimate the happiness and ease of use of a Dyson stick vacuum can bring to your life! I love my miele vacuum, but for quickness the dyson is fab! And bless Gorgeous Dave. What a nice man.
ReplyDeleteI got a new vacuum a couple of weeks ago. I don't even use it much, as I have a cleaning lady who will get the most out of it. But I was nonetheless really excited when it arrived and quickly assembled it and vacuumed the rug in my entryway. Facebook has broken my heart a few times with those memories too - mostly of my dog who has since died, but sometimes of my previous life/relationship. The more years that go by though, things don't sting like they did at first.
ReplyDeleteI insist you put a "Homeless" button on the blog but make sure it's a silhouette of the soon to be ex. Helping you keep your cottage while poking himself in the eye would be so enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteYou can go to your facebook page, click on your name up top, then go back and delete posts you made that you want gone forever. It's a bit tedious if you have a lot, but it can fill an afternoon and keep your mind occupied.
ReplyDeleteThanks K
DeleteLet's see how the battery is charging a year from now. I mean the vacuum cleaner - not you! Personally, I would never trust a rechargeable device in the medium to long term.
ReplyDeleteStop x
DeleteMr Dyson in T land is still going strong after two years
DeleteJohn - my cordless vac has transformed my life - and it is under guarantee as I am sure yours is. I hope it goes some way to transforming yours too. x
ReplyDeleteWe are twins pat xxx
DeleteMy other half hired a housekeeper. Yes, I know I am awful and lazy. It's heaven.
ReplyDeleteHe's a god
DeleteI agree Facebook needs to stop these stupid anniversary posts. Who cares that so and so and so and so have been "friends" for four years? Or re-showing my old posts. If I want them reshown, I can manage myself. Does anyone know if that function can be turned off?
ReplyDeleteYes we all don't want to be reminded of past times
DeleteI fly back to England to stay with my mother after my father died. She pointed at the dyson he had bought and said "that is going as soon as I can arrange it". I gathered there was some difficulty because the charity shops wouldn't take electric appliances, not sure if I got the wrong end of the stick or whether it is true.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Lol
Deletei just know something good is in your future. even better than a dyson. you deserve it after the year you've had. hey...thanks so much for the spoon...it's really cute!
ReplyDeleteWelcome they are love tokens in wales x
DeleteI sniff cocaine from mine.
DeleteYorkie . . . you are VERY naughty! 😂😂😂
DeleteHe needs a slap
DeleteI was miserable this morning. I just checked four items off my to-do list. It's as if I won the lottery. And, yes, fuck off Facebook. But are you sure you're going to Hoover? I'd be Dysoning.
ReplyDeleteYou are right I'm mixing my suction machines
DeleteJust as long as you don't mistake it for your penis enlarger. Moisture in the motor would be reckless and lethal.
DeleteI wouldn't u may would
DeleteJust how gorgeous is this Dave?
ReplyDeleteA photo wouldn't do him justice
DeleteJohn sweetie, I was never as sick as I was going thru the big "D" but seriously after it was finalized it was like that overbearing cloud of black uncertainty lifted. I still had a type of uncertainty but the decisions to be made were mine to make. It was joyous to realize I could do that and live with it.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new Dyson, I am the same way with my shark rocket. It's funny what tickles us isn't it?
Thank u
DeleteThe cordless Dyson is a game changer with pets. I have 2 extra large dogs and a super fluffy cat. Money well spent. Hugs from across the pond.
ReplyDeleteI used it 3 times today r e s u l t
DeleteMy dad died this morning. I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself all day and when I read your last sentence I burst out laughing! Enjoy your hoovering. It reminds me of the time my grandson who was two at the time asked his mum if she was going to hoove. She didn't understand until he said 'you said you were going to find the hoover, so are you going to hoove?'! It actually makes sense!! Thanks for a laugh and a memory. x
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss.
DeleteDoesn't "to hoove" mean to canter around the streets of Glasgow like a horse? I am also sorry to learn of your loss Mark's Gran. May your father rest in peace.
DeleteThank you for you good wishes, I appreciate it. I have no idea if to hoove means to canter like a horse although it too makes sense lol.
DeleteSorry for your loss RIP your father.
DeleteYes I'm so sorry too
DeleteSo sorry for your loss Marks Gran.
DeleteJo in Auckland
I understand the need for order. Despite some annoying cancellations you are establishing a new order for yourself, small things first xxxx
ReplyDeleteBaby steps
DeleteI call it another chapter of my life...i hope you can flip the page soon....it takes a lot of energy. Wishing you wonderful ‘next’ chapter John. Hugs Mardy 🇨🇦
ReplyDeleteMardy..I am running out of energy somewhat x
DeleteI knew a couple going through divorce who had a full blown fight over who was getting the Dyson in their front garden. They had a tug of war over it.
ReplyDeleteIn a sit com this would be hilarious but divorce isn't hilarious it's shite.
I hope you enjoy your Dyson and carry on enjoying some of the things you have been doing recently until you can really really laugh again because you deserve to xx
You're here a whole year later and are still a wonderful, kind, really funny, intelligent, and lovely man. Oh, and an excellent storyteller and writer, too. You win!
ReplyDeleteHappy hoovering!
Start a "go fund me" page and buy your ex out to keep the house? To stay or go is a double edged sword. On the one hand, you have a support system there. Friends. Familiarity. On the other, you're surrounded with memories so the loss stays fresh longer. At least you can play with the new Dyson!
ReplyDeleteI've considered it.....in fact one of the locals suggested a few of the villagers buy it and rent it back to me lol
DeletePlease do consider it! IF you want to stay.
Delete😏
DeleteAgreed
DeleteHoover away, we find happiness in the what makes us happy.
ReplyDeleteI miss scotch eggs
DeleteWe LOVE our cordless Dyson! So easy and no messing around with a HUGE canister, When will all the loose ends of this divorce be over with for good? Hopefully soon so you can get on with your life, John.
ReplyDeleteIt's dragging so much jimbo
DeleteHello John enjoy your new hoover. I don't care much for Facebook never really have. My family use it as a platform to exclude me from social events most recently my goddaughter's wedding and they specialize in leaving me out of Christmas gatherings. Do I care? No I am glad to be rid of their fake bonhommie. I enjoy the kindness of friends, strangers, neighbours and my lovely blog friends who are genuine x take care hugs x
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteWhat do those liberated heterosexual men think they're doing being friends of us faggots? Fucking scandalous that testosterone and care can live in symbiosis!!!!
ReplyDeleteAn uneasy alliance ! Nawww lots of new age men out there
DeleteI hate that Facebook personal shite, but as l want to find out when stuff is on and read comments etc. SO, I am on there, with a totally made up name, d.o.b.born in Glasgow, schooling etc and people have actually contacted me saying they remember me from school etc and l've never even been to fucking Scotland!!
ReplyDeleteWho is kidding who?
Feel better soon,dear boy
Btw, hope you have some financial help with the animals esp George as he was 'so special' to somebody else, yeah right.
Love you John
Tess xx
Financial help with the animals ? I'm on my own
DeleteI know, l can be a sarcastic bitch when l want.
DeleteDon't like unfairness in life
T x
Can't we all xxx
DeleteHaving a reliable vacuum cleaner is important when you've got hairy beasts about!
ReplyDeleteI hope other things settle down soon for you, John. In the meantime, take care of yourself and get as much rest as possible to help your recovery.
Hey - I understand your excitement over a new vacuum! How nice that Dave offered to make a soup run. That's a friend! I do hope you are able to rest up an feel better soon. Maybe if you try a good old-fashioned Hot Toddy! https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/drunk-aunt-right-hot-toddy-cure-common-cold/
ReplyDeleteOh, ditto the Dyson Cordless Love! You can register your purchase online and you get reminder emails when you need to wash the filter. Very handy.
ReplyDeleteThere is light at the end of the tunnel. You are discovering new hobbies, new friends, and in some ways a new sense of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI got a cordless recently to deal with the Collie fibres. The beast should have bald bits for the amount of hair he sheds.
Take up the soup offer. Take anything offered.
Facebook is useless at times.
I'm with you John, FB is a pain in the proverbial, reminding me of things I don't want to be reminded of; sending friends requests... when they were not sent by the person who was supposed to request to be friends. I should just sign out but of course it has it's uses. Sorry you are have a shit time of it, the big D is a horrible time as I well know but it does get easier despite the pain. I found Olive Leaf extract to be a great immune booster when sad or unwell. Chin up xx
ReplyDeleteI adore my Dyson stick vac. I may be the only human left on the planet who is not on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm not on Facebook either, nor do I have any inclination to be.
DeleteI believe you can opt out of or block the FB remembrance messages. Look into it, under ''settings'', you don't want to be blindsided again.
ReplyDeleteSad that your MIL has seemingly cut you off. Mine was very kind, she still visited on holidays and summer beach days, spent time w me and the kids---a very gracious response I thought.Sadly the rest of the family didn't follow her example, but they aren't missed or wanted anyway.
feel better
lizzy
Neither am I, so there´s at least three of us on this planet who still haven´t joined FB ... :-)
ReplyDeleteMaria in Stockholm
Sorry that you have the flu, I'm not on facebook but I know the computer knows everything when I get email it seems to tell me how to respond by listing words I could use most annoying. Hope you find a way to block unwanted reminders. Get well soon.
ReplyDeleteJohn it's the ability to take joy or delight in small every day things that keeps one sane at times like this. I've come to realise this because in spite of the amount of shit I'm fielding trying to keep it together, I'm still happy. I'm tired and dulled down by it all, but there's still some happy in there, enough to keep going anyway. Your approach to life is a great one and is inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing certain is uncertainty, as the Buddhists say. Or something like that. I hope you feel better soon! (Sounds from your subsequent posts like you are.)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say I'm thinking of you and Albert and dogs. Have been re-reading your posts and am hoping life is getting easier for you. Hugs xx
ReplyDelete