Bunty Joke Saturday

It's cold today
I am late for cleaning the church
I don't want to leave my warm armchair next to the fire
Not much report today
Except a lesbian joke c/o Bunty
Who bellowed it down the phone to me yesterday morning

" did you read in yesterday's Daily Mail about a famous American lesbian actress
Who slept with 13 women in one night?
At her autopsy  it was discovered she had died of a crack overdose!"

Fanar fanar!

Vertigo

Regular readers of Going Gently may remember that I just cannot " do" heights. My legs go jelly- like if I need to lean out of a first floor window, so the thought of having to go onto the cottage roof yesterday to fix a few slipped slates, made my stomach do somersaults.
It all started when the dogs and Albert disappeared when I was cleaning the kitchen. Alerted to the silence downstairs, I found all five sitting quietly on the bed looking up at the ceiling.
From the rafters came the ominous  scratch, scratch scurrying of a rat in the attic.
With a heavy heart, I sat down to think out what I needed to do.
When you play the househusband , you are the one that has to sort out the problems at home
Sometimes that's a bummer!
I rang the council, to ask their advice, and a sympathetic soul told me a " little man with a van" would be around within 24 hours. They also suggested that any holes in the roof should be repaired, so with a heavy heart I schlepped around to John next door to borrow his ladders.
It turned out to be a day for going up ladders.
A nightmare for someone with acrophobia!
I managed to get around twelve feet from the ground before my knuckles turned white!
My knees started to knock and my mouth went very dry!.
Neighbour John ( who is retired) gallantly took over and shot up the ladder like a ferret up a drainpipe onto the roof!
Oh the shame!
Anyhow , I thought I could redeem myself somewhat and face off the rodent like a man, so I donned neighbour John's cycle head  lamp cleaned out the access to the attic from the cupboard in the bedroom and after taking a deep breath pushed a rather reluctant Albert into the roof before I squeezed my arse through the attic trapdoor.
I know, pushing the cat in before me was a pretty low blow, but I figured there was safety in numbers.
( I had considered using George too seeing he was the best ratter amongst the dogs, but thought better of it)...Rather gamely Albert got into the spirit of things and allowed himself to be used as pointman.
But even so, creeping up into a rat infested roof space was just a tad scary, to say the least
I turned my head torch v e r y  S l o w l y in the blackness and there sitting not six inches away from
my face jumped " THE RAT,"
I screamed like a girl
Hero Albert shot back down through the trapdoor
And all the dogs started to bark

The rat, turned out to be a rather sweet and dehydrated young sparrow........

The Exorcist

Radio 4 IS the best radio station in the world
It needs to be said.
Tonight( I am typing this just after midnight) I listened to the BBC production of
"The Exorcist " as I drove home from my shift at Samaritans 
And do you know what?
It was more gripping, atmospheric and thrilling than anything I have watched on the
Big screen 
Radio is often seen as the poor relation when it comes to media, but
believe me, when I drove through the dark Welsh countryside as the child Regan threatened 
the priest Father Karras
I was truly chilled to the bone
Hey ho

X

As Requested


Her tuppence was in dire need of a good soaking
( see previous entry for an explanation)

Fines & Scummy Baths

I received a parking fine yesterday. It was from the " 3 hours only" retail park who informed me that I had parked the Berlingo in their Prestatyn car park for over five hours back on the 11th of February.
I had to laugh ( eventually) as they demanded that they get £ 85 quid off me ( well only 50£ if I am sweet enough to pay immediately)  even though I only drove through the car park after dropping Chris off at the station at 6.55am and a couple of hours later I was driving the Berlingo five miles away dropping Meg off for her haircut.
I am not bothered by the letter, but I was irritated by it.
The company involved ( Parking Eye - car park management) states that I can only appeal in writing ( if there was an accompanying telephone number someone would have got a rather large flea  in their ear)....
I hate this petty and moneymaking " officialdom" and
It galls me that these bullying letters may frighten the less assertive into paying fines........
Bastards!
Anyhow, I will lighten the mood with this photo


It's George in the bath!
He always looks ashamed

All four dogs are getting the bath treatment today

Including Winnie
How the hell am I going to get her fat arse in the tub?
Wish me luck


Fill The Void


Transplant Lizzie Bennett or Marianne Dashwood and their families into the ultra traditional Haredi Jewish Community in Tel Aviv. Add to the mix, the death during childbirth of a much beloved elder sister and complicate with the collective need of the family for the younger sister to marry her former brother in law....and you get the gist of Fill The Void.( At Theatre Clwyd this evening)
The traditions and customs of this religious community may be as alien to a general audience as tropical fish but the Jane Austen flavour of the romance amid a claustrophobic set of relatives is as familiar to everyone as Kate Winslett in a busty frock.
Rama Burshstein has crafted a fascinating story which centres about the coming of age and wisdom of the teenage  Shira ( Hadas Yaron) who has to balance out her family's need for her to marry her grieving brother in law and her own need to self determination. Her journey, typically of Austin , runs an uneven path, a path which is ambiguously outlined by Burshstein , a director who underplays all the messages in the drama.
I loved the fact that Shira's favourite aunt Hanna ( Razia Israli ) is armless...a fact that is never explained or highlighted in the story......it  is a fact that is gently and subtly made known as the plot unfolds........
A surreal fact in a very understandable story.
One sequence lingers long in the mind.  As Shira eventually gets married and is congratulated by a succession of female relatives, she is seen to descend into an emotional and religious fugue state , it a a piece of cinema which is beautiful and incredibly moving to watch
8/10

Turkey in wool

Yes!
It is a selfie of my new " turkey" pullover, a delightful gift from Chris's big shopping spree over the border yesterday! Now I detest shopping trips and Chris loves them, so my sister accompanied him to all of the designer stores at Cheshire Oaks.
I don't know just how they do it. Hours of shopping, lunch, a glass of wine, more shopping and then even more shopping. It sounds like pure hell to me..... So I left them to it, and caught the train to Chester yesterday evening to meet them for dinner at a nice Italian.

Tuesday night! and out for dinner.....get him!

Chris  ( and his new Van Dyke beard and moustache ) and fellow shopper Janet
So it was a win win day all round. Chris and Janet had a wonderful shop, I got a new jumper and we all had a lovely meal and far too much wine .
I am in dire need of that first coffee this morning.......
Just a tad hungover!
Chester at night


" now, let's just have a look at you"


A slightly drier day today
There were a few people around when I went out on deliveries
Auntie Glad was stood at the bus stop,
She looked smart and had a hat on which wasn't like her
" you look dapper!"
I called out
" I'm off to the doctors" she explained
Suddenly I was reminded of those days when my father would have a bath on a weekday!
It was always before a doctor's appointment
Spick and span and clean underwear
You always made an effort for the doctor!