Vertigo

Regular readers of Going Gently may remember that I just cannot " do" heights. My legs go jelly- like if I need to lean out of a first floor window, so the thought of having to go onto the cottage roof yesterday to fix a few slipped slates, made my stomach do somersaults.
It all started when the dogs and Albert disappeared when I was cleaning the kitchen. Alerted to the silence downstairs, I found all five sitting quietly on the bed looking up at the ceiling.
From the rafters came the ominous  scratch, scratch scurrying of a rat in the attic.
With a heavy heart, I sat down to think out what I needed to do.
When you play the househusband , you are the one that has to sort out the problems at home
Sometimes that's a bummer!
I rang the council, to ask their advice, and a sympathetic soul told me a " little man with a van" would be around within 24 hours. They also suggested that any holes in the roof should be repaired, so with a heavy heart I schlepped around to John next door to borrow his ladders.
It turned out to be a day for going up ladders.
A nightmare for someone with acrophobia!
I managed to get around twelve feet from the ground before my knuckles turned white!
My knees started to knock and my mouth went very dry!.
Neighbour John ( who is retired) gallantly took over and shot up the ladder like a ferret up a drainpipe onto the roof!
Oh the shame!
Anyhow , I thought I could redeem myself somewhat and face off the rodent like a man, so I donned neighbour John's cycle head  lamp cleaned out the access to the attic from the cupboard in the bedroom and after taking a deep breath pushed a rather reluctant Albert into the roof before I squeezed my arse through the attic trapdoor.
I know, pushing the cat in before me was a pretty low blow, but I figured there was safety in numbers.
( I had considered using George too seeing he was the best ratter amongst the dogs, but thought better of it)...Rather gamely Albert got into the spirit of things and allowed himself to be used as pointman.
But even so, creeping up into a rat infested roof space was just a tad scary, to say the least
I turned my head torch v e r y  S l o w l y in the blackness and there sitting not six inches away from
my face jumped " THE RAT,"
I screamed like a girl
Hero Albert shot back down through the trapdoor
And all the dogs started to bark

The rat, turned out to be a rather sweet and dehydrated young sparrow........