Going Gently

Shelling Peas

Chris has been suffering from a chesty cold, and so disappeared back to bed yesterday afternoon for a sleep. The dogs had been walked, the household jobs completed, the dinner made and the animals sorted out,
Even Winifred had stopped her fanny rubbing and had fallen into an exhausted sleep in a heap on the floor.. So I found myself pottering around the cottage without any tv, radio or music baring away looking for a job to do.
I picked the last of the peas from bosoms and sat quietly in the living room, shelling peas from their pods for an hour or so
In minutes I was transported back to 1972.....and I was working away with my grandmother at the kitchen table.

Repetitive jobs can be strangely soporific. When I was a student nurse, our clinical teacher was an elderly ex matron called Mrs Hinds. She was well known ( and well loved ) for her storytelling and always incorporated tales of her wartime nursing exploits in a way of educating and supporting her students.

She always maintained a healthy respect for a mundane, repetitive job.

I always remember her instructions for coping with a particularly stressful shift.

" find a minute away from the clinical area and clean something until it shines" she used to say with a smile

She was old school.

There was non of this " talk about your stress" thing, even though we all worked in a psychiatric hospital. self help was a flick round with a damp cloth back then.

I think that this " self help" thing is making a bit of a comeback in today's busy world.

People are baking and cooking more. They are gardening and planting too. Let's reduce all this " tell me about how you feel" stuff...... Go home and polish your silver instead.

Or better still....... Instead of buying a £1.99 bag of frozen peas from Tesco

Get yourself a bucket of garden pea pods

And get shelling

The Call

Berry with her Houston wig on

It's a while since I have seen a film which has been so badly let down by its second half than the Halle Berry thriller The Call.
The first half is a corker. Jordan Turner ( Berry sporting a 1980 Whitney Houston hair do) is a talented 911 operative whose actions inadvertently gets a teenage girl murdered when an intruder breaks into her home. Months later as she is fighting self doubt and anxiety attacks , Jordan receives a similar call from another abducted girl who has been shut into the boot of a car, and the gist of the story centres around just how the Quick thinking operator can locate the girl before the killer strikes.
Through clever crossing cutting, and a series of increasingly tense set pieces director Brad Anderson has produced a wonderfully stressful rollercoaster of a story which is ruined completely when he has Berry hang up her headphones to solve the mystery in the field herself ...
Cue every " woman in peril with a serial killer" cliche known to Hollywood
6/10

Slag!

I don't know quite how to put this.
But Winifred is a bit of an old slag.
Now masturbation is not really a subject for a Sunday morning I know, but the whole topic reared it's ugly head (?) last night when said bulldog was caught rubbing her fanny on the sole of Chris' slipper
just as he was enjoying Sophie Ellis Bexter's wonderful Charleston on Strictly come Dancing.

At first, I think, he thought it was all a bit of innocent scratching, so he bounced the slipper "up and down " so to speak. And before my very eyes Winifred turned into rather an unsavoury morose looking, fat lap dancer.
It was a little like watching your mum make a drunken pass at the vicar.
Now Chris' slippers are the hand made woollen ones that were kindly knitted by Kit Hopkins, so after a minute or two of " grinding" and " humping" I thought it prudent to tip Chris the wink ....and tell him that Winifred was " self polluting"
His reaction was measured and calm
" YOU DIRTY FAT BASTARD!" Was the general gist of what he came out with.
The slippers were placed promptly on a cool wash
And Winifred stalked off to sulk in the kitchen

Overheard

I worked half a shift at work this morning

On my home I over heard two medics talking in the lift

One said to another, a rather mysterious and somewhat worrying

" it hit the floor like an effing jellyfish from 2000 feet!"

I'd love to know what that was all about!

It reminded of the Hitchcock story

When, out of pure devilment , the old guy

Turned to a colleague in a crowded elevator and stage whispered a rather menacing

" I didn't realize that the old boy would bleed so much"

We Walk The Same Line

I completed my first shift at the Samaritains last night. And an interesting, thoughtful and indeed sobering shift it was too.
I left the centre after an unusually busy evening of calls with my head spinning.
I was not overwhelmed by it all in any way. I am well versed in dealing with distress through work, but it was the broad nature and vast scope of subject matters that surprised me.
It was probably a good night to start,
We all need to offload our burdens do we not?
Over a pint in the pub, over the dinner table, a chat to a friend on the phone, writing a blog......we all find our own confidants in some shape or form whether they be family, friends , or a stranger on a train.
And when I got home ,to a quiet cottage, just before midnight
I sat quietly for a while listening to Chris coughing in bed and Winnie snoring her way through bulldog dreams in the kitchen.
And I thanked " whoever" that my lot is a good one.

" Cheese!"

I am always happy when villagers call down to the field. Affable despot Jason and his girls often call down with tidbits for the animals, neighbor Viv ( who has a soft spot for blind cockerel Cogburn) sneaks around with nibbles and only yesterday, the former owners of Russell the gander popped around to check up on the old guy.
The other day, I looked out of the window to see an elderly lady sat on a chair in the centre of a rainy field. She was waving a blue balloon and was being photographed surrounded by the field population

I was only mildly surprised. Things like this happen every day in Trelawnyd.

The Other Side Of Winifred

This afternoon, As I was walking through the field gate with a bucket of eggs, I spied a young man running from out of our back gate. He stopped in the lane and started to check his pant leg and from where I was standing I could clearly hear George barking wildly.
I shouted to him and jogged over calling out a pretty lame " can I help you?"
The man looked frightened but was smiling
" that bloody great big thing chased me down the path" he said pointing to the gate.
Behind the bars and In front of the other dogs stood Winifred.
She was staring at the man intently and was snorting like a bull
" I was only just putting a leaflet through the door" he moaned " God I thought I was a gonna"
I started to laugh, I had left the back door open when I went to collect the eggs, and Winifred had been fast asleep on the kitchen floor.
I think they had both frightened each other.for when the man saw the shocked face of a fat bulldog he ran for it...and she legged it after him.
Who would have thought it? Winifred is now officially a guard dog
" she didn't bite you did she?" I asked remembering that he had been checking his pant leg
" no" he said, but I am sure I could see bulldog slobber
" I am sorry", I said " she's a big soft puddin really"
The leaflet man looked dubious
" she looks like a tank"
And when he handed me a new schedule for our refuse collections
His hand was shaking