Gaining Comfort

The Gray Family circa 1963- Andrew is on the far left

My brother and I could not have been more different. 

I wear my heart on my sleeve, have a rather indulgent way of what Chris calls "emotionally romping" my way through life's ups and downs and despite assurances to the contrary love a "bit of a fuss".

My brother, on the other hand was a private man, who kept his inner most feelings to himself. Unlike me he was not frivolous but, could , when he was well, share a frivolous story with the humour, timing and sharpness of Joan Rivers at her very best.

His preparation for death was a private matter. He shared a few requests with his much respected consultant  who ensured ,with the unwavering tenacity and strength of his wife , Jayne, that they were carried out to the letter...and when the time came, Andrew died at home, without pain or distress and with his wife and son at his bedside.

I found a great deal of comfort in this fact.

I also found a great deal of comfort at being able to complete a few small personal duties before the Undertaker arrived. I gave Andrew a wash, and a shave and I brushed his hair, so he was all "neat and tidy"

It was something simple that his beloved gran would have done.....and it was of her that I was thinking of as I pottered away.

After I had finished , it was Jayne, his wife that realised what I had subconsciously done, as she laughed how much his hair resembled the "slicked over" style Andrew always had as a boy.

It pleased me that she found it in some way comforting

Andrew

My Brother Andrew died a few hours ago

He was only 58

I have nothing more to say

http://supportingandrew.blogspot.com/

Pig Points

Piggy Eyes watching the world

No 12 is a benign boar.
He is gentle, good humoured and rather a handsome soul...who does nothing but sleep and eat in these glum first days of winter.
He and 21 will be going soon......the finer points of when, where and freezer space just need some clarification and organisation, but go they will after a spring, summer and autumn, digging,eating and sunbathing in the corner of the field.
Will I miss the pigs when they leave? Hummm..... I am not sure............................... I have been pretty good at distancing myself from them as "individuals" and generally have not fallen victim to those quirky aspects of personality all animals possess...those that get under your emotional skin so to speak.


The pigs are fed, watered, and health checked, and that't it! They have not been played with, they have not been anthropomorphised within an inch of their piggy tales and they have not been loved. Having said this, I shall miss no 12's dog like nature just a little...but I won't be upset when they are taken to the knacker's yard......This bothers me just a little....for I will be guilty, like most of us are , of accepting the meat so to speak without really accepting any of the responsibility of "doing the deed" 
The pigs will leave my care, healthy and robust animals...... I won't be privy to their final moments....(thank God)... but I will enjoy their meat just the same........without ever having to get my hands dirty.
hummm on reflection this doesn't quite sit right with me
hey ho

I am ashamed to be human

"Have a Jaffa Cake"

Another day....another animal shoved in the boot!

Country roads in winter can be a bit of a nightmare, and the trusty Berlingo isn't the most "robust " of cars when it comes to off road driving.

Ok I can fit  a whole flock of hens,geese,ducks, pigs and even a very large Billy Goat into the back of it with room to spare...but when it comes to icy, one track roads, like Mabel, the Berlongo is a bit of a pussy

so mindful that I am now going up to my brother's house out in the sticks twice a week, I decided to get fresh tyres fitted today.

I  booked the car in, and went to sit in the somewhat austere "sitting " area of the garage to wait . I was quite pleasantly surprised with the facilities as there was a good selection of reading matter available, a coffee machine that worked and  fairly comfortable seats to choose from. Five other people were waiting for their cars. A middle aged woman and her seven year old grandson,  a business man type, and a couple of young men in overalls.and as I sat down to read the paper, I noticed that the woman was rooting through a carrier bag, and to the delight of the child , she brought out a small can of orange juice and a packet of biscuits which she gave him, presumeably to keep him quiet as they were waiting.

The boy quietly opened up the packet, took a biscuit for himself then offered one  to his grandmother.

He then looked at the nearest man, who happened to be the businessman,  and without being prompted walked over and asked him if he would like a biscuit.

The businessman smiled suddenly at the gesture and politely refused the boy's offer, and undeterred the little boy marched over to the two workmen and offered them a biscuit too . Both men cheerfully took one each, which obviously pleased the boy and so did I when it was my turn, as I was genuinely impressed by the boy's spontaneous show of good manners and community thinking. (I also love chocci biscuits!!!!)

Sadly,I have to admit, that if this kind of behaviour was the norm, then I wouldn't have been moved enough to write about it today.....by doing so now, perhaps underlines just how rare, some of these little moments, actually are.........
why is that?

Shenanigans

This is Danelle Morgan, a local North Wales girl, who got herself trapped in her clothes horse after larking around with some University friends. (the same  group of friends took great delight photographing her from every angle after the fire service arrived to cut poor Danelle free!)

I was entertained by her predicament as I absolutely adore embarrassing stories and I was reminded of the tale after my own somewhat cringe making faux pas of this afternoon!

Chris is away in Glasgow for a few days,

so I thought I would pop down to the cheapo supermarket in Prestatyn for supplies

Not having a pound for the obligatory shopping trolley I loaded up my arms with goodies ( this supermarket does not believe in shopping baskets btw).....

So as I hurried up to the checkout with three loaves of cheap bread (for the birds), an individual lasagna (how sad), a small bottle of wine (treat) a large bottle of diet cola (for weightwatchers), a bag of German chocolates (how did they get there?) and rather surprisingly a large packet of vacuum packed frankfurters.....I didn't really notice a very small woman who was bending down to pick up a plastic carrier bag from a floor situated store.

I then smartly kneed the woman up the arse and in the kerfuffle that followed dropped all but one loaf onto her and then the floor............

I don't know just what was more embarrassing....actually physically assaulting the woman ( who shot forward and head butted the woman in front of her) or the fact that two old ladies in the queue behind me moved forward to pick up my items on the floor .....

I shouldn't be let out alone.........................
meanwhile.......

We've Just met a badger

We've just met a badger

My small pack of dogs and me!

Late back from the Community Council meeting, I collected the four of them from the kitchen sofa and out into a blustery lane we went

As we stopped in the dark by the corner, the pigs  grunted loudly and rather aggressively and out of the hedge, frightened by no 21's bad tempered tendencies no doubt, tumbled a large, slightly obese badger.

The badger struggled to its feet, not fifteen feet away and let out a funny sort of snort.

William, Meg and George stood stiffly like Ben Hur's chariot horses and didn't move a muscle as the badger cantered into the horse field

Mabel,however, shat herself....... she "woofed" once, pulled her lead from my hand and galloped the 100 years for home like a racehorse

She is presently sat at my feet, still shaking
What a pussy

Acting

I envy actors.

I envy their ability to make believe

I envy their ability to tell a story

and I envy their imagination and  focus when "in character"

Of course it's not the glamour that I really envy......no......I tell you what I kind of like about actors.....it is their ability of shed their self inhibitions in order to immerse themselves into a fictitious life

But on reflection, I suppose that we are all "unofficial" actors in the everyday "screenplay" which is our daily lives. We play the hero here, we play the advocate there and we play "disgusted from clapham"  (well I do) at all the other times....the character on show, is always the one most suited to the situation we find ourselves in at any given moment.

Who knows, just what the "real me" actually is?

We are all chameleons, 

......and that's a good job too...........

if non of us could act....

we'd all be zombies

.