Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Shenanigans

This is Danelle Morgan, a local North Wales girl, who got herself trapped in her clothes horse after larking around with some University friends. (the same  group of friends took great delight photographing her from every angle after the fire service arrived to cut poor Danelle free!)
I was entertained by her predicament as I absolutely adore embarrassing stories and I was reminded of the tale after my own somewhat cringe making faux pas of this afternoon!
Chris is away in Glasgow for a few days,
so I thought I would pop down to the cheapo supermarket in Prestatyn for supplies
Not having a pound for the obligatory shopping trolley I loaded up my arms with goodies ( this supermarket does not believe in shopping baskets btw).....
So as I hurried up to the checkout with three loaves of cheap bread (for the birds), an individual lasagna (how sad), a small bottle of wine (treat) a large bottle of diet cola (for weightwatchers), a bag of German chocolates (how did they get there?) and rather surprisingly a large packet of vacuum packed frankfurters.....I didn't really notice a very small woman who was bending down to pick up a plastic carrier bag from a floor situated store.
I then smartly kneed the woman up the arse and in the kerfuffle that followed dropped all but one loaf onto her and then the floor............
I don't know just what was more embarrassing....actually physically assaulting the woman ( who shot forward and head butted the woman in front of her) or the fact that two old ladies in the queue behind me moved forward to pick up my items on the floor .....
I shouldn't be let out alone.........................
meanwhile.......

56 comments:

  1. Oh John! I don't know what to say...
    xx

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  2. I love those trollies for a £1 - they're amazing value and I have no idea how the local Co-op here does them for the money. We keep several at home.

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  3. ....Owl
    that god awful husnband and wife advert from the co op... makes me heave!

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  4. Oh, Wow... this had me laughing! That was a traumatic experience. Poor, John! ...hopefully you will feel better if you have a glass of that wine and watch some of your favorite movies.

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  5. callie
    I broke the wine!!!

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  6. John... I have a question. Here in the states a trolley is something with wheels. Is your trolley a push cart or a bag with handles or? Does it cost to use it or can you keep it?

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  7. Don't worry John - you won't be let out alone for the foreseeable future if you carry on like that.

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  8. I've got a wee trick with adverts - I haven't watched one in years. Got a digital recorder so when I want to watch something on a non-Aunty Beeb channel I record it, wait ten minutes and triple-fast forward through the adverts...

    It's the only thing that has preserved my sanity.

    Please tell me that you also fell forwards onto the conveyor belt at the checkout and arrived at the till like some comestible-laden Buddha moving at two yards a minute - and that you carried it off with style...

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  9. Once again, you've had me in stitches, I have a very good imagination and can see it so clearly.
    Would this supermarket begin with a L I wonder, if so, it is my favourite place for cheap but different things.
    thanks
    Briony
    x

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  11. Ooh, John this is the best laugh I've had in awhile :))
    I can truly imagine the knee up the bum, and the chain of events that followed...your a cracker !
    Pun intended ;)
    ~Jo

    Sorry about the deleted cooment, skinware not working today.

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  12. Things like that make me have that proverbial feeling: want to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. Poor John! Paying for the trolley might have been less expensive in the long run. Forgive me for smiling, and I bet those women had the pleasure of telling your story over and over after that.

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  13. callie.. a trolley is a shopping cart!!
    owl
    I blabbered apologies like a baby!

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  14. That is so funny except for the wine.

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  15. Don't worry ~ you were probably the high point of the old women's day!

    Enjoy your wine...

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  16. What is it about someone falling arse over tea kettle that is so hilarious! I didn't even have to see you John...just imagining it has me roaring with laughter.

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  17. Nancy I BROKE THE WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  18. Write that book! Tee hee. xoxoxo

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  19. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. John you're a star!

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  20. No matter what, if you can get a good story out of it, it was worth it all.

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  21. "Whoops, the ship rolled"!
    Jane x

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  22. You do have some of the strangest adventures, John...

    Oh, that poor girl, was she plastered?

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  23. LOL!
    *hugs* ♥ ;-)

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  24. Did you broke the wine?
    :P

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  25. Did you mean 'wind', Deep Blue?

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  26. I just spewed yogurt all over my computer when you kneed the poor old dear up the arse! You truly are an amazing individual John...and I'm awfully sorry about the wine! That just adds insult to injury!

    (I now have little smeary spots all over my monitor...yeeeech!)

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  27. I probably did that too tom..... its my age... sometimes I fart when I take little steps!

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  28. I really needed a laugh John as sadness just isn't ready to let go of grip it has on me, its been such a hard few days. Thanks I actually did laugh.

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  29. Hope the wine bottle didn't break!I love the pensioners' trolleys that some places charge $1 for, the others are free. Arthritic hands..well you get the idea. Hope you got home without incident, suggest you buy one of those great collapsible baskets which usually come in bright fabric with large white spots.

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  30. von
    IT BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  31. Diet Coke is no good for weight loss...

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  32. John, that is a hilarious story! Too bad about the wine, I hope you picked up another one to take home....

    And that poor old dear! Hope she isn't too bruised about the rear end!

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  33. Are all young Welsh women as intelligent as the girl trapped by a vicious clothes horse? I wonder what she's studying at university - Mechanical Engineering?

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  34. Oh my, I can so imagine it!
    Did they make you pay for the wine? (you did say you broke it didn't you?)

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  35. A whole pound for a shopping cart???

    A small bottle of wine???


    I don't know which I'm more appalled at.

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  36. LOL oh dear! It wasn't your day was it John :( Oh well..at least you got a good laugh watching that video...I feel sorry for the poor girl but it WAS funny!

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  37. I'd have to shop somewhere else after all that. At least you got a great story out of it.

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  38. I love it when she SCREAMS.

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  39. I'm trying to imagine how the two women would later describe what had happened to them! And HOW did that poor girl get into that predicament? And poor you -- traumatized, alone, and no wine ;-(

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  40. Kerfuffle? There was a kerfuffle? I have always wanted to be in a kerfuffle but no one has ever asked me to join their kerfuffle. Once again John you leave me wanting for more.

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  41. A case of head in the air and feet on the ground John it seems to me.

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  42. I hate reality shows, but I always like a good laugh and would really enjoy watching the video of your daily life. So much better than the twit with the clothes rack.

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  43. 'Care in the community' springs to mind...

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  44. Why am I thinking of Eric Sykes after reading this?

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  45. Poor John but it wasn't awfully awful but I suppose your now the talk of Prestatyn. I am more concerned with the girl in the clothes horse and hope she is laughing now.

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  46. Oh, crap. You broke the WINE? (And wind?) What a terrible terrible tragedy. (For you. I thought it was hysterical.)

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  47. Were you wearing a clothes drier at the time.

    Spat my lunch over my keyboard reading this. Thanks....

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  48. Thanks for the smile and laugh. Next time....buy wine in a box..You can drop it without breaking. At least you still had your chocolate.

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  49. This had me laughing, too, John, although i'm sure it didn't feel funny at the time.

    And putting one's head thorough a clothes horse is never a good idea. Even after some wine, which you never got to drink, sadly, since the bottle broke. I hope they didn't make you pay for it. Goodness, you gave everyone around you live entertainment, that's surely payment enough!


    megan

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  50. Thank you for making my day so much better ! I cried with laughter
    Jane

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  51. enjoyed that - where do you fine these videos?

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  52. What a good laugh that post was except for the poor woman you accidentally kneed in the behind!

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  53. I call a "trolley" a "buggy" and it occurs to me that many of my not-spawn-of-English-parents don't. I'm not even sure where they got "buggy" from, since there you are saying "trolley." Both are much better than "shopping cart"!

    John, pretty soon we are going to have to lock you in the house to keep you out of trouble!! LOL

    As for the video girl, I thought it was interesting how her friends LAUGHED when she started screaming out at the end. And it seems to me that if she'd just turned her head 90 degrees, she might have been able to escape. How does one ever get to the point where it seems like a good idea to stick one's head in a drying rack!?!

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  54. Honest to God, you crack me up.

    I swear I'm going to stop drinking tea whilst I read your blog!

    Last time I spat it across the table, this time I've just nearly choked!


    SP

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