Gaining Comfort

The Gray Family circa 1963- Andrew is on the far left

My brother and I could not have been more different. 

I wear my heart on my sleeve, have a rather indulgent way of what Chris calls "emotionally romping" my way through life's ups and downs and despite assurances to the contrary love a "bit of a fuss".

My brother, on the other hand was a private man, who kept his inner most feelings to himself. Unlike me he was not frivolous but, could , when he was well, share a frivolous story with the humour, timing and sharpness of Joan Rivers at her very best.

His preparation for death was a private matter. He shared a few requests with his much respected consultant  who ensured ,with the unwavering tenacity and strength of his wife , Jayne, that they were carried out to the letter...and when the time came, Andrew died at home, without pain or distress and with his wife and son at his bedside.

I found a great deal of comfort in this fact.

I also found a great deal of comfort at being able to complete a few small personal duties before the Undertaker arrived. I gave Andrew a wash, and a shave and I brushed his hair, so he was all "neat and tidy"

It was something simple that his beloved gran would have done.....and it was of her that I was thinking of as I pottered away.

After I had finished , it was Jayne, his wife that realised what I had subconsciously done, as she laughed how much his hair resembled the "slicked over" style Andrew always had as a boy.

It pleased me that she found it in some way comforting