A Mother's obsession and a great Canadian film

Of course I have been worrying about Maddie throughout the day, but after being sedated for her xray the old girl seems to have rallied somewhat!
The xray showed that she is constipated to the hilt, but nothing else sinister could be seen, so the vet gave me a large bottle of lactulose. a 5 ml syringe and a hope that bowels would be moved very soon!
So medicine has been administered, and stool watch has started! Thank you everyone for asking just how the grumpy old Scottie has been doing. At the moment, she is curled up next to me on the couch, and still looks rather sorry for herself

Anyhow, I have just realised that I have effectively been turned into my mother!
Towards the end of her life my mother owned a somewhat bemused West Highland Terrier called Hamish. He put up with her irratic behaviour, chain smoking and temper tantrums and sometimes was led a bit of dog's life.
She never walked him...she never could be bothered...she just had one of those extra long extending lead things which she attached him to from the comfort of her front door. She would then reel him out down the drive and along the road so he could perform on the grass verges before pulling him back to the house as though she was landing a salmon!
Given the fact that she never physically walked him, my mother was strangely obsessed with the state of Hamish's bowels and would discuss them with all comers constantly, unfortunately it was always in the greatest of detail....not good in a nice social situation......today I have found myself worrying about Maddie's stools with a similar intensity.....no results as yet to report...but I am living in the hope of a steaming dollop very soon!!!!

Tonight I went to Theatre Clwyd to see a very intriguing and interesting Canadian film by Egon Egoyan. Adoration, is a complicated, multi layered study of a teenager's grief for his parents and his need to understand where he came from, yet themes of racism, fear of terrorism, and family demons complicate this affecting and thoughtful drama.
The film's premise is innovative.
A boy (Devon Bostick) with a troubled past is "encouraged " by his French teacher to secretly make up a story that his father was a terrorist that tried to blow up his wife and 400 passengers on board a transatlantic airliner. As the school and Internet get hold of his story, the whole fantasy suddenly becomes terribly real to all involved and specially complicates the lives of the teacher (Arsinée Khanjian) and the boy's guardian and uncle ( a nice performance by Scott Speedman), who had been drifting aimlessly along in his life

This is a clever movie,but it is not an easy ride as you need to concentrate on every theme and clue to actually work out what is going on ( the last scene finally gives you a clue after an hour and a half)

I gave it an 8.5 out of 10........It was great to see a cracking Canadian Movie for a change...

ps when I got home no bowel results to report!!!!

hey ho

Maddie

Maddie has not been well for the last 24 hours. Yesterday afternoon she had been straining at stool for ages ( she IS prone to be constipated) and by teatime looked listless and unwell. I booked a vets appointment for her for this morning ( I am waiting to go. hence writing this blog) but wasn't happy with her behaviour so I called the on call vet to discuss her symptoms.
Typically I had a "chat" with the young Polish vet..who is efficient but oh so difficult to communicate with on the far end of a telephone!
The conversation included a rather surreal moment when she asked me about Maddie's diet 24 hours before the symptoms had presented. When I told her all the dogs had been given a large ham bone to gnaw on,, the vet kept shouting " BONE! you give her A BONE????"
"A CHOP? VAT DO YOU MEAN? A BONE?
by they end of it all I felt that I had personally dripped poison down the old girls neck!
Anyhow she told me to give Maddie some water with oil in it, which I had already done and to bring her to the vets in the morning.
I am worried.Maddie has never been ill in her life and although I am a pragmatic health care professional myself I can't help thinking that there is something else wrong here than just constipation.
On a lighter note, one of my neighbours gave me some advice last night when I told her of Maddie's condition
"Just shove a soapy finger up her bum a few times" she called out cheerfully
"worked wonders with all of my children"!!!

Painful

Now I love embarrassing stories

This one actually happened way back in 1991 when I was celebrating the multicultural social events organised in Sheffield when the World Student Games were held in the city.

I went with a friend to the Crucible Theatre which was hosting a free night of folk music and dance (in the foyer!)...as usual I was dressed down for the event (t shirt and ripped jeans! - remember the fact I had ripped jeans on)
but as the whole event was very relaxed I kind of blended in!
Anyhow I remember sitting on the steps of the bar looking down at the singers and crowds below..and one guy, who was sitting at a table with some friends caught my eye!
I looked at him.....he looked at me! and suddenly I thought "my lucks in!!!"
Anyhow this game of glances carried on for a while ( I remember the guy looked a little like a bearded Jake Gyllenhall) and I did that half smile and hair toss flirting thing! before I caught sight of him downing his pint then weave his way through the tables to walk to where I was sat up on the stairs!
He leaned over slowly so I could smell his after shave and whispered gently into my ear
"Hey mate...I wanted to tell you that you have a rip in your jeans and one of your b*lls is sticking out!"...he suddenly left and went to sit down again!!
What happened to me?..........well I died on the spot
Now please....can I have some embarrassing stories from the lot of you

Pecking order blues

I bought four large ham bones today and furnished the dogs with them as I got on with planting out artichokes, Chinese cabbage and the last of the broccoli.
Meg, William and Maddie got on with the job in hand whereas George had a less than fortunate time with his bone and one particularly assertive amber rock.
The pecking order between hens is a well known phenomenon, but between hens and dogs I doubt there has been much research done.......By some innate ability the hens all seem to know that George is a non assertive, bullied individual who can be taken advantage of, and if he turns up on the field with food they press their advantage quite mercilessly.

This afternoon over an hour period they harried and intimidated poor George in an effort to steal his bone, so much so that I finally had to put him and his bone in the back of the Berlingo where he could chew in peace.
One white amber rock , who had pecked the gristle from George's bone in several concerted "attacks" made the drastic mistake of approaching look-a-like Maddie as she was sucking out the marrow from her prize . The hen was flattened instantly and within a split second, got swiftly de feathered for her trouble


The back garden arch that my brother-in-law made for us has finally taken on the typical cottage "look" that I had originally planned for . The clematis and honeysuckle have now joined together quite nicely.

My gardening bible is Carol Klein's "Grow your own veg" and this well thumbed copy is kept in the shed. Those are artichokes which I "bartered" from a guy in the village for a dozen eggs

Kate Winslet is still sitting on her clutch of eggs in the prefab hen house. (above). Her nest is now secure from the crow threat BUT this week I have decided to construct a scarecrow to maintain egg safety! The problem is, what shall I dress it in? All the crap clothes that I own...I actually wear.
The weather has been quite beautiful again...if not a little too hot. The pond already is drying up just a little,,,, and it's only May!!!

life

saw this on the great http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

It reminds me of the Urban Legend of a middle aged couple being overheard in a post restaurant

"No George it's not the peas...it's the last 20 years!!"

Monsoon - Ever so lonely 1982

I loved this single from way back in 1982!!

funny I found myself singing it today...now where did that come from?..Why camels? why the Sarhara? she's obviously asian! hey ho

...a good Idea....

One of the girls from work told me that B&Q had some cheap chicken wire for sale, so after another busy night I put off home chores and went hunting for it in the local superstore!
Now I don't DO shopping......to me it is a necessary evil that has to be endured rather than enjoyed (with the only exception of browsing in a book shop that is).
I go into a shop or store like an assassin! I hurry in, get the object of my desire and leave...bish, bash bosh...it's as simple as that.
This morning it took me approximately 30 seconds to locate the fencing "department", a further 10 seconds to pick my role of chicken wire and another 15 seconds to weave my merry way to the tills..............a record breaking 55 seconds in all! ...result!......
Mind you I had not banked on the fact that I had to negotiate the small cluster of four "self service" checkouts each one occupied by a somewhat hesitant older person.
The seconds ticked on.....
I was aghast to see that one old guy was trying to scan two 7 foot curtain poles without using the hand held scanner. The poor old duffer looked a little like a ninja wielding a fighting stick as he tried manfully to hear the "beep".The other guy next to him couldn't quite figure out which way to put his credit card into the machine whilst a woman opposite had dropped two trays of trailing lobelia onto the weighing mechanism.
The last man had a huge trolley laden down with the contents of what looked like the Chelsea Flower Show....so wasn't going anywhere fast...and to add insult to injury the checkout supervisor seemed overly busy chatting to her mate by the special offer counter!
The seconds turned into minutes!
I pointed out to the man with the curtain pole where the hand scanner was, but having grappled it, he could quite locate the bar code on the pole itself!
The man with the credit card had the thing declined setting off a large red beacon on the top of the checkout and the woman was apologising loudly for the delay as she got on her hands and knees to pick up her damaged seedlings....

I could have screamed!
As the supervisor dragged her carcass over to see to the duff credit card, the final guy seemed to be scanning one plant pot at a time v-e-r-y--v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and I just about stopped the urge I had to batter all four of them to death with my roll of cheap fencing.

No sleep, a busy shift and four cretins at B&Q to deal with!..........and all before 9am!
My tolerance was way WAY too low for this kind of shit!
Finally...( and after some very British huffing and puffing) I flounced past the woman who had finally sorted out her dropped greenery and scanned my wire professionally and with a flourish! Smiling in a somewhat superior manner to the four old gits, my fingers whirled over the touch screen instructions as I slammed my debit card into the slot....
I should have known better...in front of them all, I had entered the wrong pin number!!!.

I should have had a sleep when I got home, but as the weather was perking up again, I got on with jobs including carpet shampooing (too much doggy smells to bare), kitchen cleaning (below) and dog walking.......big mistake.....I collected all the eggs and was so tired that I left the lot in a bucket on the field......all were taken by crows!!!.

I am such an old fart!

Roasting pig

There is a downside to leaving in a cottage that was originally built over three hundred years ago.

When it is cold outside, the cottage can be icy and take an age to warm up and when it is boiling hot outside the bedrooms especially can become extremely hot to say the least.

Bwthyn-y-llan (a name in Welsh that means cottage of the Church (or cottage of an enclosure) is south facing, so when I am on nights and the sun is shining I always wake up early in the afternoon which the oddest feeling that I have been transported inside a large oven, albeit on a fairly comfortable mattress.

This usually puts paid to any further rest I may have, as I feel a little like a slug which has been caught outside on a hot stone. (humm a nice mental image there)

I have just got up, staggered downstairs in a rather unflattering pair of y fronts, demolished a cheese bagel and have staggered back to bed with the laptop.

I will try to get back to sleep after typing this blog, then will get up to see to the broodies.

Meg is desperate for me to be "available" and is mooching around the house in a pathetic kind of "I am an orphan " way.

I am so tired, I could spit