Bat 2- The Revenge

12.30 am The Cottage in darkness.
We are in bed
The Prof: " What is that noise?" 
Me ( sleepily) " Huh?"
The Prof: " That noise there! That STRANGE NOISE!"
We listen
There comes a strange intermittent hissing/ squeaking noise from somewhere in the room.
The Prof hunkers up under the duvet " It's that bat!" He hisses
" It's that effin bat!" 
The Prof hates bats, ever since we had one caught in the bedroom of our old house one night, he hates the thoughts of them. I caught the last bat in a pair of my used underpants which The Prof described as a "moment of abject cruelty" 
" The poor little thing didn't deserve that!" As I whipped off my sweaty smalls to cover it
I'm always practical in a mini crisis!

As usual it was me who got up to locate the noise. The Prof pulled the duvet even higher.
"Have you found it?" He hisses as I eventually homed in on the sound
" Yes" I told him " You are quite safe"
The bat was in fact the noise of carbon dioxide gently escaping from a bottle of coke that didnt have it's top screwed on properly! 
Domestic life!

Leaving do

Me pretending to be coy about nice compliments

I noted that during my speech at the joint leaving do ,my former boss laughed long and loudest at my comment that I professionally peaked before I came to Intensive care!
I reminded the room that I was no technical nurse
Four popular nurses have left at the same time, so of course the pub was filled with drunk nurses and doctors all swigging prosecco.
I was sober. I have to pick the Prof up from the airport tomorrow!
It was nice to be sober, and it was nice for nice people to say nice things about me.
Even though many of them were pissed!
What I did like was the " feedback" from a few nurses that ultimately moved me.
Thank you for supporting me
Thank you for giving me positive feedback
Thank you for making me smile and believing in me
Thank you for being kind to me.
Thank you for the back rubs and the stories.
My former manager said nothing to me. It was my peers and the junior nurses that talked the talk
That's all that really mattered, I thought on the way home

Deco

I'm just about to go to the cinema

The lovely old art deco Odeon in Chester has been transformed into

The Storyhouse- an arts centre of some note

The last time I went here was september 1984 

Batty

There is a bat in the bedroom.
I've opened the windows and shut the door on it and have left the little devil to escape but all four dogs are now lined up on the landing sniffing under the bedroom door like drug addicts at a coke party.
I think Albert brought it in but heaven knows how he caught it.
No peace tonight

Disastrous Dates

I am having my kitchen chairs delivered today!
John Lewis has given me a window of 7am to 2pm
Seven hours to kill at home!

The BBC website had a light hearted page on disastrous dates today
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41173459
It made for a chuckle when I was sitting on the toilet...so much so that Mary tottered in to see what I was laughing at!

We have all had a date that went terribly wrong have we not?
Years ago, I had a date with a guy who suggested that we had a drive into the Derbyshire countryside in order to have a nice pub meal.
Now he drove a new and very powerful car and after just ten minutes I was hit by an overwhelming wave of motion sickness which I tried manfully to subdue as we politely chatted about nice things, like people who don't know each other, tend to do on first dates!

Eventually I could stand it no more and white faced and sweating I demanded that he stopped the car and near fainting I staggered out on the verge in front of speeding traffic and  laid down in the wet grass.
My date got back into his car when I vomited and had to sit there for an age when I slowly recovered still lying on my back as it started to rain!

We did have a few dates after that but nothing came of it , non were in Derbyshire by the way!

Have you ever had a crappy date?
Do tell

Sinking Feeling

James, the Ikea kitchen planner spent over an hour planning my " new" dream kitchen!
Winnie spent the time giving goo goo eyes at him whilst sitting at his feet with her head on his lap
"She's a bit clingy " James noted wryly
" Welcome to my world" I told him as bulldog spittle ran down his pantleg
I nearly cried when he showed me my dream sink!
I'm bloody well easily pleased

On My Own

How do You cope alone?
I was asked this question by a villager yesterday who commented that the last time they saw The Prof was at the Church Bingo over a year ago!
( I think he thought we had secretly divorced! )
He also didn't seem surprised that the Prof was playing Captain Pugwash in the waters off Croatia at the moment but was more impressed with my new reading glasses which had been perched on the top of my head.
Very Harry Potter I was told! Hey ho.

So my question to you all this morning, just as I delve into my second cup of coffee after a late night catching up with the Great British Bake Off...IS

DO YOU COPE WITH BEING ALONE?

Of course I am never really alone here. George is farting merrily in his bed on the kitchen floor and I can hear Winnie snoring loudly from her arm chair in the living room. Mary is standing on the window sill quivering at the sight of The Bachelors as they tip toe around the front garden.
Albert and William are the only quiet characters this morning. They both are in bed upstairs, fast asleep.

I like my own company and I am used to my own company. Of course I miss the complex and not-very-still Prof and his constant " chatter" but being alone does not faze me in the least.
I am waiting for a rough looking sort to pick up the fridge freezer before Ikea kitchen man arrives with his clipboard and ideas- thats my I am on my second cup of coffee as I did  have to stay up extra late to watch a recording of the Bake Off. 

The show is no different to the old one it just has a couple of new faces presenting it and the predictable gaggle of nice contestants raging from a wisecracking chunky Chinese lesbian, a karaoke singing grandmother, 2 cute gays and a selection of yummy Mummies!
Still great fun.
Anyhow I digress as per usual!

My question still stands however.....how do you cope with being alone?
Answers on a post card please x

Scribe (2016) La mécanique de l'ombre

Cluset- a French Hoffman look-a-like 

Now I love Hitchcock movies.....many moons ago in my first year of my film studies degree, all of my best marked assignments more or less covered most of his most famous movies.
Tonight I treated myself to a showing of La Mecanique de l'ombre which couldn't have looked more Hitchcockian if it had dug up Kim Novack and forced her limp dead body into a a snug grey suit!
Duval ( Francois Cluset) is a sixty something failure. An OCD , ex alcoholic , he is recruited to a mystery corporation to transcribe taped conversations of people under surveillance. After hearing a phonecall where someone is potentially murdered , Duval realises that he is not employed by the French government but by a corporate organisation ready to kill anyone who gets in their politically sensitive way.
Yeap, it could be The Man who knew too much, North By Northwest or Rear Window with the shopworn Cluset standing in very well for the more chiseled Cary Grant or James Stewart , men in over their heads as twists and turns playfully baffle the audience.
If you have 90 minutes to spare.
Go and see it....its great fun

Nose Job

Yesterday was a quiet day here in Trelawnyd. Animal helper Pat called round with gifts of beans and ripe tomatos and it was first day at school for the junior school children who gridlocked the lane just before 9 am in their parents' 4 x 4s .
In the afternoon I emptied  the defrosted chest freezer which was an odorous job then I did some food shopping, bought petrol and went to B&Q to buy a replacement carbon monoxide monitor. It was only on the way home when I caught a glimpse of my face in the rear view mirror did I realise that I was still wearing one of those nose cleaning strips I had put on hours earlier!

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea?

Mrs Trellis mentioned Kim Jong Un in her conversation this morning.
She referred to him as a "horrid and dangerous little man"
She also had an interesting take on him that I have not heard before
She thinks he craves international acceptance and a Hollywood lifestyle. Let Tom Cruise meet up with him and things will work out fine she mused.
I mentioned her that the country would be an interesting place to visit which was comment she was horrified with.
"Oh nooooo!  they eat dog there as superfood! " she said pointing to Winnie who yawned with boredom into the wind
" They'd have a field day with her" she added.

Retail Therapy

The new kitchen table and chairs

Shopping is easy when you go online.
There is no salesperson to deal with.
No " can I help you?" 
No waiting at the checkout.
And no crowds !
I've just bought a kitchen table and two chairs from John Lewis at the same time Mary was licking
my feet!
I didn't have to move either, when a chirpy Scottish lady phoned to sort out delivery. I just reached for the phone and bingo everything was sorted!

Mary feet licking

The Prof , paddleboarding today 

Trans

This afternoon I went to Llandudno to kill time as Mary and George were having haircuts
The pretty seaside town was packed as day trippers and locals made the most of the sunny weekend before School starts.
I grabbed a coffee and walked out on the pier and then back along the crowded promenade .
A group of eight caught my attention.
I couldn't quite work out if they were transvestite or transsexual, but ambling down the seafront were a collection of " Tootsie" lookalikes all in their fifties and sixties who were all were enjoying an ice cream .
From across the road, which runs parallel to the Promenade a young woman in her own peer group of friends yelled a good natured " Looking Good  ladies!!!" At them without a hint of malice or sarcasm and the trans group cooeeed , laughed and waved back in equal good humour.

Not what I expected from a little seaside town in Wales on a Saturday afternoon!
It made my day

Thank You

This needlepoint from perhaps a hundred years ago has hung just left of our fireplace for a decade
I'd forgotten it was there.
I looked at it this afternoon as if I had seen it for the first time

Do children in school recite this prayer anymore?

 

I wonder

" vee Have Vays of Making You Talk!"

There is a new German vet at the surgery
She is thorough, rather loud and has an odd sense of humour
After she had seen William, she left me standing at the counter in front of a packed waiting room for an age until she had triple checked his med dose, then she surprisingly bellowed a rather loud
" I forgot to tell you that there is a £ 15 charge for your anal gland check! "
" You Checked William's glands not mine" I reminded her as a few of the waiting customers smiled
" Of Course I did!" She said seriously

I'll Never Make A Pirate

I'm making a list!
" Things to do next week"
I've already written fifteen entries on it as I try to dry off after being caught in a rainstorm with the dogs.
Mary as you can see is steaming nicely in the sunny window
From Friday The Prof will be sailing around the slightly stormy waters of Croatia and I shall be at home.
Now before you all reach for your comment boxes to complain of his selfishness, The Prof wanted 
me to go along on this mini adventure in a thirty foot catamaran with all mod cons! But I said no! An
emphatic and resounding NO!
I don't DO sailing! I don't DO boats smaller than the HMS QUEEN MARY and I DON'T DO adventure holidays.
Water.....deep water scares me!
Now if you want to comment about what I am missing by staying home, don't bother!
Being on a small boat in the open sea with a group of sailors is not my thing plain and simple.

Now I am glad that The Prof is going and as I told Mrs Trellis this morning -The break from email and academia will do him the world of good.
I suspect that Mrs Trellis thought I was a tad disloyal not going, that was until I told her that I was 42 years old before I could just about swim a width of a swimming pool without sinking
" what shall you do with yourself?" she asked somewhat incredulously
I told her that I would find a few things to do

I shall miss him but as my list will testify to, I shall not be bored!
I have planned to see a few foreign movies at Theatre Clwyd  and at the Storyhouse in Chester. I have the Flower Show review meeting to sort, a crochet class to attend ( don't laugh) Friends to have lunch with as well as my work leaving bash to go to!
I have a Samaritans shift, workmen to supervise who will give me some quotes on bits and bats and James, a very helpful kitchen designer from Ikea, will be popping in on Wednesday to discuss whether my fantasy kitchen can become a reality. He is bringing his junior colleague Debbie with him and both have been warned that Winnie will be expecting multiple kisses and a fuss!
She does so love visitors!

Luxury catamarans? Who needs em?

It's all go this retirement thing

Well, 24 hours after our Kentish jaunt, My Welsh family, The Prof and I got locked into a strange Mad Scientist's Room and had to solve a myriad of clues in order to set ourselves free.
Typical Wednesday evening fun I hear you say!
And much more fun than watching the recorded Great British Bake off and Game Of Thrones
We had five bright minds in our room and we still bloody well got locked in!
I think The Prof and I slowed things up after we embarked on a fairly lively debate on the positioning of a right lung in a corpse!
( you have to be there) see http://www.lockedin-northwales.com
All great fun!

Our group looked like the strangest version of the usual suspects

Just William

After two messages from the kennel owner stating William was " very low indeed"
I had a heavy heart standing at the kennel gate at 4 pm today.
Mary galloped out like a loon before him and jumped into my arms like a baby, but I only had real eyes for William who followed at a sedate trot with his tail waving slowly from side to side.
He stopped short of me, adjusting his position with his good eye then gently rested his head into my hands in way of a hello.
I could have cried.
I scooped him up And hugged him close and he sat in the car on the way home happily munching on cheap Swedish meatballs bought from the Spar .
When home he slept the contented and safe sleep of an old boy happy to where he was loved.
They break your heart

John Gray's Schooldays

We are almost back to normal.
The Prof is asleep on the couch. William( after a big fuss and multiple swedish Meatballs) is also happily snoozing by the fire. The other dogs are in a heap in the kitchen.
I am waiting for the new Bake Off to start

My cousin Karen sent me this snip when we were away.
I cannot remember the photo being taken at all but it certainly looks like me, in my old brown jumper with the holes at the elbows.

I hated school. I hated everything about it.
I hated that I was shy.
I hated that I was bad at sports.
I hated that I had no goal to go to University
And I hated the miserable 70s styles.

I am the higher one  ( circled)

The Journey Home

We leave Broadstairs very soon. There is a " fast train" from the coast to London then a short walk from the gothic splendour of St Pancras to the dumpy boredom of Euston.
We shall be home by early afternoon.
Yesterday I received a message from the kennels telling me that William was " non too happy" His skin itch seems worse and apparently he looks listless and tired. The kennel owner is more than trust worthy and will discuss him with the her vet ( which incidentally is our vet) and then act accordingly.
Old dogs,! They break your heart. .

postcard From Broadstairs

Blue skies and family catch ups
That seems to be the order of most days at the moment.
The family beach hut is located right by the walkway from the boardwalk in the centre of the photograph, and after we stake out an area of beach in front of it (to keep away the riff raff) we own our own small area of sand free of day trippers from London and the South.
The London trip worked well as Leo enjoyed all of the geekiness of the star wars exhibition at the O2 even though the hordes of middle aged nerds fighting for the best views above the small fourteen year old was  thankfully somewhat lost on him. We caught the clipper back down the Thames, cooled hot feet in the fountains at Trafalgar Square and managed not to lose him in the crowds of a very warm London.
Uncles Christopher and John Brownie points saved!

The highlight of the trip so far was the seagull attack on a large group of buxom South London black women on Broadstairs beach. They had been eating fish and chips with their children and had no prior experience of hungry seaside herring gulls.. One shrieking woman brought the flocks in after one lead gull had snatched a saveloy from her hand and within seconds there were screaming matrons leaping around scattering children and chips with hysterical abandon in what can only be called as an alternative scene of Hitchcock"s The Birds. 
I laughed till I cried.
Today we have been treated to lunch in a swanky eatery in Margate by The Prof's Brother and sister-in-law, then it's a visit to The Turner Centre and then a catch up with Father-in-law before home tomorrow
ps Rachel...I am thinking about you