Wednesday, 6 September 2017

On My Own


How do You cope alone?
I was asked this question by a villager yesterday who commented that the last time they saw The Prof was at the Church Bingo over a year ago!
( I think he thought we had secretly divorced! )
He also didn't seem surprised that the Prof was playing Captain Pugwash in the waters off Croatia at the moment but was more impressed with my new reading glasses which had been perched on the top of my head.
Very Harry Potter I was told! Hey ho.


So my question to you all this morning, just as I delve into my second cup of coffee after a late night catching up with the Great British Bake Off...IS

DO YOU COPE WITH BEING ALONE?

Of course I am never really alone here. George is farting merrily in his bed on the kitchen floor and I can hear Winnie snoring loudly from her arm chair in the living room. Mary is standing on the window sill quivering at the sight of The Bachelors as they tip toe around the front garden.
Albert and William are the only quiet characters this morning. They both are in bed upstairs, fast asleep.

I like my own company and I am used to my own company. Of course I miss the complex and not-very-still Prof and his constant " chatter" but being alone does not faze me in the least.
I am waiting for a rough looking sort to pick up the fridge freezer before Ikea kitchen man arrives with his clipboard and ideas- thats my I am on my second cup of coffee as I did  have to stay up extra late to watch a recording of the Bake Off. 


The show is no different to the old one it just has a couple of new faces presenting it and the predictable gaggle of nice contestants raging from a wisecracking chunky Chinese lesbian, a karaoke singing grandmother, 2 cute gays and a selection of yummy Mummies!
Still great fun.
Anyhow I digress as per usual!

My question still stands however.....how do you cope with being alone?
Answers on a post card please x



112 comments:

  1. We hate the adverts, so last night we started watching the recording 10 mins late, I see they have extended it by 10 mins and added another ad break. I love being home alone, I am truly selfish with my time and love every moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I record the programme and fast forward

      Delete
  2. I was the only boy from my village school who passed the eleven plus. Consequently, I was the only one who had to travel thirteen miles by bus to secondary school in Hull each day. At eighteen, I travelled to a remote Pacific island on my own to teach for a year. These and other experiences have made me very good about being on my own. I am very comfortable with solitude.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think solitude ( as opposed to loneliness) is a valuable lession,mtganks for that YP

      Delete
  3. I'm an extrovert so I like to have company. When my kids were all at school I was sometimes alone for the length of the school day but now they are all at university there is always someone home. I think I am alone on Monday afternoons and it is a little unfamiliar these days but I'm ok with it. I don't have a clue how I would go for days at a time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you are in the minority here....which is interesting

      Delete
  4. Love the new glasses .
    Hubby and I live quite an isolated life spending all our time together , so if I do get an hour or two while he is elsewhere I love it I can hear my own thoughts and recharge .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think i would find that too claustrophobic

      Delete
  5. As I've aged, I've developed antisocial tendencies. I love being on my own with the dogs during the day, but love it when Mr. comes home. I don't think I'd actually like being alone for any period of time though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am usually ok for a week but come day 6-7 im ready for him to reappear

      Delete
  6. Been entirely alone for 12 years now and love it. Cannot abide constant chatter, don't even have wireless on. There is a companiable black cat sitting on the table and birdsong outside, bliss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cannot abide the tv being on during the day

      Delete
    2. I never have the radio on, and only watch what I really want to watch on TV- at night. I am supremely comfortable with silence.

      Delete
  7. I don't mind being by myself for a few days, but after that I itch for some human company.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The "itch" could be connected with small insects.

      Delete
    2. bwhahahahaha! not in this house, YP; my 3 cats are strictly indoor.

      Delete
  8. Great choice on the glasses.
    I like my alone time . . . prefer it . . .
    After a lengthy alone time . . .
    I like sharing time and space again . . .


    ReplyDelete
  9. It's not a matter of "coping." I love being alone, at least for shortish periods of time!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am rarely on my own now, but there was a time when I was alone a lot when my partner was absent. I'm afraid I got up to rather a lot of mischief, but no regrets. I am fine alone, as long as I have my partner who is somewhere not too far away. Now, looking at comments, it has already become a common theme.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did he know? Was he bothered?

      Delete
  11. The older I get, the more I like my own company. Any coping I need to do, is when I get company.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny.......i understand too well

      Delete
  12. I am an only child; so called even though I am over 70 ! From growing up I was used to being on my own; and I think I was allowed more freedom as I could be trusted and just got on with things. Oh, how I wanted a sibling, just to be able to say my sister or brother, but it was not to be. So I had a lovely big family and grew up with them again, such fun. I cope just fine on my own, however, the phone; the cat; the radio all assist me in coping. Love Andie x x x Not too sure about the glasses, sorry. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andie! I love them! However they are only reading glasses

      Delete
  13. I have lived alone most of my life and am quite content. I have good friends that I do things like going out to eat or a concert with but am perfectly happy going to things on my own. As a retired person I do a lot of volunteer work which gives me my "people contact" every day. And my two dogs and a cat mean that there is always a live body somewhere near me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think " someone or something" being around is an interesting phenomenon i have a twin sister...so i was always used to have someone else always around for the first decade of my life

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. (((((((hugs))))))) I suspect you are still in shock, Rachel. Being suddenly alone after 30-odd years of being together is absolutely shocking and takes a long time to get over.

      Delete
    2. Rachel todays post perhaps was somewhat insensitive apologies

      Delete
    3. Rambler got it in one. I am happy with my own company, doing things alone, spending all day alone, travelling, etc., always have been used to it, but it is different now because there is nobody waiting for me at home, nobody to ring and tell what train I'm on, nobody for me to share things with, and nobody to get tea for.

      Don't worry John, I was interested to see what comments you received in answer to your question x

      Delete
    4. It takes a while Rachel but it does get better. Personally I don't think it gets completely better but the sharp pain becomes more of a dull ache.

      Delete
    5. Rachel tge fat lady hasnt sung yet

      Delete
    6. I know. And that doesn't make it any easier

      Delete
  15. I live alone now after having a partner for 36 years and I don't see it as coping. I help with my grandkids, read,walk and just get out there living my life. I hate pumping gas and would love someone to do that for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is tgat tge same as pumping iron?

      Delete
  16. After nearly a decade of living in two homes in two cities 8 months of the year, I'd have to say I cope, but I don't enjoy it as much as I once did. I look forward to being in the same home full time in another 16 months.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didnt quite realise just how much you two were apart!

      Delete
  17. My husband travels globally with work so I am quite often alone. I wasn't lonely until our old springer shuffled off his canine coil a month ago. The house is cleaner than it's ever been, nothing gets drooled on or stolen....and it's bloody horrible, and very lonely. Tomorrow we collect our new pup (another springer) and I cannot wait! Roll on noise, poo, pee and hair and that's just me hehe x

    ReplyDelete
  18. I like the new glasses.

    Who's the urchin? The girl in the gussied-up rags, I mean. I don't recognize her but I assume there's something meaningful in the reference.

    I think it's a consensus here that being alone isn't something that requires coping skills. Enjoying a human-free lifestyle seems to come naturally to most of your Commentors, and I'll second that. But it would be very hard to not have a companion animal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its victor Hugo's Eponine ..from Les Miserables
      She lived a lonely life and died alone dreaming of the handsome Marius

      Delete
  19. I used to love time by myself for a few days or even more. I don't anymore. I still like my alone time, but I like Jerry to be there when I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love making " snow angels" out of the cold bedsheets when the Prof is away

      Delete
  20. I'm much the same as you; just as happy by myself, as when Lady M is here. This year I think she's been abroad more than she's been at home.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't mind being home alone but in a strange place...no thanks. As long as I have my books and DVDs I could be home alone for a week maybe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i am just like you...i went to seattle once alone and hated it

      Delete
  22. I've always lived alone ever since leaving my family in my mid-20s, and have always been comfortable with it. Wouldn't have it any other way, though as I approach more advanced years I find the prospect of being unable to manage alone - getting around, eating, toilet etc - utterly terrifying, though no signs of such happening just yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol RAYMONDO you sound like mr udall in AS GOOD AS IT GETS

      Delete
    2. 'Fraid I don't catch your reference, J.G. I only saw the film the once when it first came out (you more than once, I imagine) but now I'll have to watch it again to catch your meaning. Drat!

      Delete
    3. I misstead your comment and thought you were talking about sharing a toilet...mr udall couldnt share anything!

      Delete
    4. Just found out (through IMDb) that Mr Udall was the Jack Nicholson character, though I don't recall in the film his not sharing anything. As for not sharing a toilet, that would be for the Kenneth Williams's of this world, of whom I'm not one - though I do stress that I wouldn't share a toilet with anyone at the same time as they are using it. :-)

      Delete
  23. I wouldn't call it coping, just enjoying! My husband is 6 weeks in, 6 weeks out from a Nursing Outpost in the extreme north of the North West Territories. I have my job at the hospital here in the Yukon, where I get more than enough chatter, and at home have quiet conversations with my son..... Last year at school before University next September. I wonder if I will get all weepy coz my baby is leaving the nest? We have our ever present furry fairy elephant, Fionnula, our Bernese, who demands you talk to her, after all, the Queen is at court and one must pay homage....lol! Love being alone, peruse over my garden, pick some veggies, (coming to an end, getting some frosts overnight up here in the North), mug of British tea, switch on UKTV box, catch up on the programs and knit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment made me smile benignly

      Delete
  24. This is the second time I have had to cope alone. My first husband died in 1991 and I lived alone for two and a half years before marrying the farmer. No he has been gone for six months andI am alone again apart from Tess - and so like you I have at least one dog to keep me company. That and a multitude of good friends make it much easier - but I still miss the farmer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat, i said it to rachel and I say it to you, i apologise for the insensitive nature of this post x

      Delete
  25. I spent 8 years living alone, a conscious choice after a particularly tedious breakup and absolutely loved it. Hobbies, friends and a cat all meant I actively enjoyed my life rather than just coped with it. Even today there's something rather blissful about knowing I'm going to have the house to myself for the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The prof doesnt have the house to himself enough me thinks

      Delete
  26. I love and crave being alone and never get enough of it sadly.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I enjoy being alone and pottering around my house and garden. I do, however, look forward to my husband coming home but I am quite happy doing my own thing. Of course I am never really alone as I have the cats and chickens to drive me mad (I mean keep me company!!). I do feel that I am somewhat antisocial as my dream is to live in a little bungalow somewhere up in the hills (with my husband) and only come down once a week to go shopping at Morrisons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having animals around gives you the sense of constant motion! And that helps

      Delete
  28. Working for a couple of attorneys I'm constantly on the phone, and having face to face with people all day. The attorneys also own the building we're in so I have constant contact with tenants. Believe me when I say I don't answer the phone unless its my kids or get on the computer when I'm off work. I can barely get through an hour of news before I've had enough and creep up the stairs to the solitude of my bedroom. I crave alone time and am very happy being by myself when I can.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I don't know how I coped, but cats help. In your case, it would be pups ..
    One of the things that is difficult for some (me) is marrying very young so you are so bonded with your mate, you grew up together in a way .. to lose a partner in life, you end up feeling not quite whole again.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Coping doesn't come into it for me. I love being alone. Of course, if I didn't know that my husband would eventually be back, I wouldn't like it at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My happy time is in the middle of the night and there is a prof sized lump in the bed next to me

      Delete
  31. By nature I prefer to be alone so it is not a challenge for me. I do have my doggy companion though which I think covers all that I need as far as companionship goes. I prefer being alone.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I never get lonely. My sister says it is because I have my weenies, but I don't know. Perhaps.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Cope well because I know someone will be home eventually. Eat more casual, veg based meals, read more, go to bed earlier. One of the many reason I’ve grown to admire Weaver of Grass so much is because she is getting on getting on during this period of her life. It all changes if no one comes home.
    Love the blog thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is the spirit that won the war Agatha

      Delete
  34. After 42 years of marriage with the love of my life, there's a huge hole in my heart...together we made this house a home. With his passing, It's empty and hollow now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No silly comment ...just another thank you for being so honest

      Delete
  35. Badly is the short answer! Sitting her alone today and in a right pickle if you want to know! I am glad you cope better. How is that crochet lesson going btw?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Love the glasses! I am quite comfortable being alone, as I am alone much of the time. Even in the office, I am often the only one there. Of course, I am not quite alone, given the dog and cat. Beat the pants off putting up with idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I've lived alone for more than 25 years - barring occasional lodgers. There's no greater gulf than that between two people who were once close, and I'd rather be on my own than in a bad relationship.
    I try to structure my day so there's something going on regularly, I have a circle of good friends but it's easy to spend days without speaking to anyone, especially as I'm self-employed and work from home. I'd say the Internet and texting have made a huge difference - reading a blog, or getting a text from a friend makes it less 'alone'. But I do wish there was someone to help with the day to day work of life - putting the bins out, renewing the car insurance, deciding what to have for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess its where your balance point is that matters

      Delete

  38. Week 1 -Go down the pub.

    Week 2 -Start smoking. Strand cigarettes are the ones.

    Week 3 -Subscribe to Sky TV Sports.

    Week 4 -Take up Bingo.

    Week 5 -Stop drinking and smoking and gambling and join the Salvation Army.

    Week 6 -Get a dog. And take it for walks.

    Week 7 -Still lonely? See week 8.

    Week 8 -Go back to week 1.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Like you said John... i'am comfortable in my own company... I like hanging out with .. me... I've always been that way even as a child.. And the things i like to do tend to lend themselves to that.. I like read and write and take walks... draw, craft..And like you i do have company in Jinx , my cat..and i always treasure time with hubby ... but i find i do require some 'me' time too.... I'm at my best if i get some 'me' time... Hugs! deb

    ReplyDelete
  40. Mostly I love being on my own. Even if I do fancy being part of the wider world, it's just to 'people watch'. I was a bit of a loner as a child, and now find that books, a cat and TV are enough!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Although married for 29 years I feel as though I am alone. We have our interests and our own TV's as we like to watch different things. When I talk to my husband I can see the irritated look in his eye so I just leave him alone and he leaves me alone. Sad really.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes very sad and very honest. Thank you

      Delete
  42. I need alone time so much that I had to ask my partner to move out. Still 'together' but living separately - it's a great solution for me, less so for her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It worked for woody allen too

      Delete
  43. The ex ( Gordon ) and I separated in 2002. Last year I finally got the divorce. I know his address from the internet but he hasn't seen his son in 7 years. I don't want to change my life for anyone. A lot of painful occurrences happen with him. I'm retired. I go to bed when I want , watch tv when I want. My cats, Whiskers, Raja, and Tiger share my bed. I cook for the gamer and me. Mostly he wants take out. Yes, I know it's unhealthy. I'm happy John. I volunteer and I adore children including my grandson's Zayn and Atlas. It can be lonely in Christmas and Thanksgiving though. The gamer doesn't interact much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happiness....who could ask for anything more .....good for you gabs! X

      Delete
  44. Oh, just revert to the onanism that has served you well over the years.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I loved being alone..but as a caregiver now the responsibility for another who hasnt got a lick of sense but has highly developed manipulative skills can be daunting. And like you John, i just retired and i just got new harry potter black round glasses. And now i sit waiting for hurricane irma (odd...that was my grandmothers name)

    ReplyDelete
  46. I love, love, love being alone. I can read, putter,eat cheese crisps, throw all my stuff around, not make the bed,wear a caftan ALL day, watch fantastic period movies, drink a whole bottle of wine and not share. Today the hubs went off on a business trip for three days. woo hoooooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A caftan? Who are you nana Mascouri?

      Delete
  47. I love my alone time. I need my alone time. The reason I get up hours before himself is at least partly to ensure I get it.
    However, when he goes away for a six to eight weeks I no longer cope as well as I did. The dread disease has made me more dependent than I like. Which I loathe.

    ReplyDelete
  48. When I was still working, I often said "I need some alone time." But not so much anymore. I can spend days at home and never leave the house. I'm always busy, and the days go by so fast. Hubby is around, and friends stop by so I'm never lonely

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you need your own rooms to play in ( not sleep but play in)

      Delete
  49. While SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) and I occupy the same quarters virtually 24 hours a day, she is frequently in her room and I in mine and we sometimes have nearly nil conversation until The Cocktail Hour. We seem to prefer our own company much of the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How utterly adult of you both!

      Delete
  50. I have no problem with my own company ... I guess if you know that your other half will be coming back it's rather nice to watch whatever you like on tv and to eat rubbish !!!!!
    I was determined not to watch the Bake Off but, it's really good .... I really like Noel Fieldibg. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  51. I love having alone time. I can binge watch Mad Men or knit or write. Like a lot of others, that would change if I knew my hubby or son were never coming home. It is one thing to have a day or two where you can do your thing, it is another to have being alone forced on you by Death. Hugs to everyone put in that particular position.

    ReplyDelete
  52. In my mind, you're not really alone if you happen to have someone at home waiting for you, or you're sat at home waiting for them to return. REALLY alone is when you have neither of these options but neither is being REALLY alone a bad thing or a barometer of how popular you are/are not. For some it can also be a lifestyle choice.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Having grown up with 8 siblings, I value any alone time I can get. But I do love being with my hubby and people in general.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I guess I just enjoy my own company, so I never feel that lonely. I'm actually more relaxed when I'm by myself.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Peace, quiet, freedom. I do have a pug tho.

    lizzy

    ReplyDelete
  56. I don't cope at all well living alone. As long as it is my choice and not permanent, I do enjoy being alone quite a bit. When my youngest left home for university I nearly lost my mind, despite working both a full-time and a part-time job and having two dogs and two cats for company. I was terribly lonely and so afraid that after work I rarely left home if it meant coming home after dark. For me, freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  57. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Being on your own, you either like it or hate it or fear it, all on a scale of 1 to 10. On the fear scale you may just have to feel the fear and go through it unwillingly ie do it anyway or become agoraphobic I suppose (respect folks) Just thoughts bat em about.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I like my own company... but I would hate to be "alone". I operate much better as a twosome....I like having someone to look after and to have someone I can say... "hey can you please pass me the ..."to. I would be very very sad if I was on my own 24/7 and I think I would be one of those old ladies who ring up "companies and book demonstrations" just so I could have company.
    Sounds sad now I say it... but I do think that would be me in say 30 years if I am alone. It would however make me about 85...but I think I could then be forgiven.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

    ReplyDelete
  60. Peace, quiet, freedom. I do have a pug tho.


    หนังผี

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x