Multi Tasking and Winnie Goes AWOL

Something always gives when you are multi tasking.
Feeding dogs, putting up a curtain pole, browning chicken skins to garnish dogs' dinners, preparing chicken casserole, picking logs up, flirting with Mandy next door ( she's just had a new " big hair"  change) Mary's ear drops, shit......no onions for casserole, so hurried trip to shop, remove old shelving from airing cupboard, tidy away excess laundry into space saving " suction bags" ( great fun) hoover mummified mouse from under the bed......
I was hoovering the office carpet when there was a loud knock on the front door.
When I came downstairs a young farmer type was standing in front of the window
" Have you lost something? " he mouthed and I gestured for the man to come round to the back door where I met him at the garden wall.
He pointed to his tall pick up parked by the side of the cottage.
Sitting happily in the passenger seat with her big paws up on the dashboard was Winnie.
" I saw her down by the water treatment" he told me " she got in straight away when I stopped"

I was baffled.
Apparently after I had given her her dinner, Winnie had taken herself off for an uncharacteristic wander. She had slipped through the open gate (!) and had marched off for a mile down the lane. The farmer had picked her up  when she had decided to rest , like an ugly and exhausted  hooker on a small grass verge and  had driven the length of the lane ( some three miles) in the search for her home. Finally he stopped a woman outside her house. who recognized Winnie and she told the farmer where she lived so kindly he brought her home as she happily enjoyed her impromptu country drive.
" She's a friendly big thing" the young man said opening the truck door
" Did she try to kiss you?" I asked him as Winnie reluctantly scrabbled down.
" No......but she HAS eaten half of me crisps!" He replied.

Slapped Hard With A Velvet Glove

Hollywood Royalty Meryl Streep flexed the most dignified part of her speech giving skills last night with the most effective of put downs against Donald Trump.
Stating that his mocking of a disabled journalist was something that " broke her heart" Streep, in the hushed motherly tones added

"It was that moment when the person asking to sit in the most respected seat in our country imitated a disabled reporter, someone he outranked in privilege and power and the capacity to fight back. It, it kind of broke my heart when I saw it and I still can’t get it out my head because it wasn’t in a movie. It was real life. And this instinct to humiliate when it’s modeled by someone in the public platform, by someone powerful, it filters down into everybody’s life because it kind of gives permission for other people to do the same thing.

Disrespect invites disrespect. Violence incites violence. When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose"

The only reply Trump could think to give was to call Streep " overrated"
That comment alone proves to the world that he is an arsehole! 

Reality Not Frivolity

The Prof has been put on the train to London. I am sure he will enjoy his pristine boutique hotel more than usual, for I have just been merrily cleaning up , deep dark blobs to bile from the carpets.....old George occasionally suffers from bilious attacks, especially if he is late for a meal, it doesn't happen often as I am fastidious about him getting his meals on time.
I was somewhat fed up this afternoon but cheered myself up by buying cushions and egg cups from a garden centre in Chester ( I'm easily pleased)
Tonight I am going to start to read my Christmas gift from my father-in-law

Crush II

Lazy post two!
It's fun
Who is your present day crush?
Mine?
Cy Owens " The Force Essex" ( tv reality cop show)

First Crush?

lazy blog today
Who was your first cinematic/tv crush?
Mine?
Clint Walker

Brain Storm

The broiler " ghost" hens sunbathing

We take so many things for granted.
Last night I watched a Sky documentary which was rather ho-hum
The presenter, however, did allow himself ,  a moment of gushing, after a group of India women, resplendent in their multi coloured saris, walked into view upon a barren and sunbaked landscape and his emotional reaction to such a visual experience proved to be a rather moving experience.

Here are a few of mine, brainstormed during a wet and cold walk this morning

• Being present at scores of patient deathbeds, watching a fellow human being taking their last breath on this planet.
• Looking at Sheffield's Skyline on a cold night from the roof of the city's Cancer Hospital
• Witnessed four hens corner, attack and subsequently kill a crow who had been stealing their layers pellets.
• watched twins being delivered by emergency Cesarean section. 
• Winked at by a handsome Yorkshire policeman when he was on duty
• Taking in the vast and graceful Sydney Harbour for the first time on a sunny Sunday afternoon
• Sitting through a maths class as a giggling twelve year old in front of busty Mrs Fielding who had two buttons of her blouse undone.
• Driving into New York City at night for the first time.
• Watching an emergency doctor perform internal cardiac massage
• Being the only human watching four dogs galloping happily on an empty beach
• Over an hour lying in warm grass, watching six abused factory broiler hens finally leaving their hen house ,to sun bathe for the very first time.
• Seeing my husband smiling so uncharacteristically during the entirety of our wedding.

My New Co Pilot

Eighteen months ago Meg died.
I spent more time with her than I did with my husband and her absence literally broke my heart as we all know that hearts can so easily be damaged by the all encompassing love only a dog can give a master.
The Prof saw the void that Meg left and like all concerned husbands who wanted to heal an awful situation, he was galvanised in the attempt to fill it with the impulse purchase of a new puppy.
Mary subsequently arrived with a bang.
A year later, I now have a new co pilot.
When I sit in a chair, she is by my side in a heartbeat. When I have a bath, she stands guard at the bathroom door and when she gets the chance, after the first dog walk at dawn, she curls up into the lie-in bed, her face tucked up under my chin like a baby rabbit with it's mother.
Of course all this says more about me, than it does about her.
For I am never alone, even when I am enjoying a satisfying number two with the paper.

A " Field Of Dreams " Moment

My family often nag me to amalgamate the better parts of Going Gently into some sort of bestselling paperback. The Prof says whimsy sells, and I guess he is right given the plethora of " heartwarming" and " uplifting" tales of life changing encounters middle aged pongos like myself experience when lifestyles change and temple hair is lightening from brunette to a gentle grey.
On the way to the panto the other night, my sister remembered what I call a " Field of Dreams" moment which she said would be a " Satisfying " denouement to the chapter where two middle aged gays first moved into a tight knit Welsh village!
Nine years ago, I held my very first " allotment open evening" It was on the back of similar open evenings my sister organised at her own town allotment, where friends and family had the opportunity to survey  her vegetable beds, have tea and cake and make a contribution of a charity of her choice.
My first allotment open was a small affair, but it was important to me as I left several hopeful posters around the village inviting everyone to attend. Attendance by the Trelawnyd-ites meant everything and as the 6 pm opening deadline loomed close, My sister remembered me gazing up the lane in a sudden downpour of summer rain, worried that no one would come.

I should not have worried ...for the " Field Of Dreams " moment arrived as powerfully as anything ever seen in a sentimental movie or tv series! the only thing that was bloody lacking was a sudden swelling of a musical score, for at exactly 6 pm and led by Auntie Glad hidden underneath an oversized umbrella, a long line of village characters weaved their way down the Church lane towards the field to support the event.
It was a real Hollywood moment amid the wet grass and Slightly damp Victoria sponges.

Perhaps, my sister is right. It is these kind of moments balanced with the sadness of those normal life dramas that make a story readable and accessible to all. Light and froth peppered with emotional romps......perhaps that is the formula..

Anyway over to you all.....you all, like me, have a book inside you......if you eventually write it, what would be your " Field Of Dreams" moment?
I'd be interested to know.

" Twelve O' Clock and No Sign Of Dick!"

Theatre Clwyd Panto Aladdin.......great fun.....even the Prof got up and danced at the end! 

I'm running late today.
The dog walk around the village took over an hour this morning, as numerous encounters meant numerous chats along the lines of  how was Your Christmas ? and What did you do for New Year's Eve? 
"Odd Bob" wanted to know about  The Avian Flu Threat, which was a nice change and it took me ten minues to go through the plot of Theatre Clwyd's Aladdin with villager Mandy  over on the village Green so much so that Winnie got overly bored, slipped her collar and started to walk home by herself.
She's such a Diva....
And before you all shriek with worry...I must say I don't worry about Winnie and traffic, for she has actually learnt that she can only cross the main road when she hears the Pelican Crossing alarm! No alarm no crossing......
She's brighter than she looks!

I am presently making a lamb gravy for homemade Shepherds'  Pie for supper. Then it's " Operation Christmas Decoration Removal followed by the bathing of the Welsh terriers (post kennels).
Work has asked me to go in for an extra shift........
I've told them nicely to bugger off.

Back to normal

Three hours sleep and now I am about to dunk my sorry arse into the bath before a family meal and the panto in Theatre Clwyd.
I need amphetamines,
But Mrs Trellis has no doubt run out.......
Speak tomorrow when things are back to normal......the Prof will be at work happily whipping the local academics into shape and the dogs and I will be home in Trelawnyd
Hey ho

Selfie

A quick New Year's selfie 

Believe me we didnt look like this by the end of the shift! 

So dont expect any replies to comments

Im buggered! 

Are You Sitting Comfortably ?

I'm working night shift tonight and tomorrow night
New Year's Eve will be a non event for me which is fine.

I will leave you with a short story...
This Christmas the Prof and I thought it nice to share some moody stories in front of the new log burner. To be honest he made a bit of a show, of just how wonderful, a different " activity" would be during this rather quiet shadow of the Christmas Holiday.
I fancied reading out Daphne DuMaurier's short story of The Birds but the Prof wanted a Gothic murder mystery!
The night before last he read out an strange little tale about Ghosts in a Country Hall and last night I agreed to read a somewhat odd 1950 s short story called The Santa Claus Club.
I thought it was a rather nice couple thing to do.
Last night, I walked the dogs at nine and we settled down in front of the fire for me to read out the scary tale of murder most horrid.
The story was longer than expected, but I persevered with the verbose text in subdued lighting!
25 minutes into the story, I stopped briefly to cough ...............and saw my husband fast asleep on the couch!
Hey ho!

Happy new Year dearhearts!

Bring On The Baby Jesus!!!!

" Go on it'll be fun..." I told a somewhat skeptical Prof before we left the house
" I love doing it!"
He raised a Roger Moore eyebrow at least one centimetre ( where it stayed for the duration) and we drove to the do-it-yourself garage in Rhuddlan to jet wash the car.
" Do you want to give it a blast!" I shouted to him after I had started the power hose and he shook his head slowly in a kind of bless him, he actually enjoys this bollocks kind of way.
To me mucking around with a jet wash is the ultimate fun thing to do on a muggy Saturday afternoon.

We saw Gaynor, The mad Organist in Marks and Spencers. She had a trolley which necessitated me playing my favourite "sneak the produce into the trolley " game without her knowledge.
I managed two Chinese meals for four and a packet of prawn crackers before she twigged, which. For me, was a very poor show indeed!

It always amazes the Prof just how little things like the jet wash and " Sneak the produce" game  amuses me.
I think I am just easily pleased

Mrs Trellis caught us today too, with her rather sweet late gift of a miniature glass Christmas Tree. She declined The Prof's offer of a stiff gin martini to keep out the cold but I could see she was sorely tempted by the offer. She told us that the Christmas Church service went very well and that this year the baby Jesus was brought down the aisle to be placed ceremoniously into the crib by some of the village children. Usually the job is carried out by Mrs D, the Church warden after the vicar gives the cry of " Bring on the BABY Jesus" 
This always used to give me a fit of the giggles when uttered.
Like I said...I'm easily pleased!

Mrs Trellis' glass Christmas Tree next to my light up hippo!

Who says I'm not a classy bitch? 

Lullaby

Cro posted this Welsh lullaby on his blog today. You might of heard it before, especially if you are a fan of Steven Spielberg who used it to wonderful effect in his movie Empire Of The Sun. 
It's called Suo Gân 
Which literally means " lullaby" in Welsh.

I've always loved it's final verse , which can be translated several ways.
This version is my favourite.

" Leaves are knocking,
Gently knocking at our door.
Have no fear now, waves are beating,
Gently beating on the shore.
Sleep my darling, non shall harm you,
Nor alarm you, never
And beguiling those on high"

We are having a quiet afternoon by the fire. William and Mary have returned from the kennels ( Mary with three unexpected large bald spots on her rump) and as most dogs do after barking their tits off for five days they are now sleeping the deep relaxed sleep of being securely home.
Winnie is passing almost silent farts on the hearthrug, George and Albert are curled up in respective arm chairs and the Prof is cooking a ham in the kitchen.

I may just play Suo Gan again......it's the perfect choice for a cold Welsh Evening.......

" I've Found Another One Dead"

When my mother was hospilized. ( The admission before her death) she rather gleefully told me the story when she overheard one of the ward nurses share with her colleagues in the middle of the night the stage whisper of " I've just found another one dead" 
My mother was amused more by the fact that the nurses burst into conspiratorial giggles after the event rather than the fact that one of her fellow patients had died.
My mother and I shared the same sense of humour.

I see that another celebrity has bitten the dust over the Christmas period. Poor Carrie Fisher's force wasn't with her,even though she was lucky enough to have a cardiac arrest in first class where the stewards were all well versed in CPR.
The lists of the dead are all of comparable age to me which is a bit worrying....but I guess the baby boomers are all being thinned out as Darwin Nature intended. Drugs, alcohol and dirty living finally takes it's toll......ask George Michael's housekeeper if you don't believe me, I bet she's seen things that would make your eyeballs pop from your sockets!

And so we leave Broadstairs for the journey home in a few minutes. The home-cared for Dogs need collecting tonight.
The kennel based dogs tomorrow.

The Family Prof and other eyebrows

The Family " Prof" 

I've had enough now.
Home tomorrow...
It's all been very nice indeed and the sight of watching Sorrel with a dentist's speculum in her mouth playing " speak up" ( I'm banned from showing you the photograps but if you email me, I'll give you a sneak peak) was well worth the coast of the rail journey alone.
I shall leave you with some photographs of The Prof's auntie's Christmas village....and finally Sorrel and I at the dinner table
It will be the last time I mention the fucking season until December 2017.

,

Ps my nephew Leo now has his own film review blog

At

http://montyfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk

The Day After

Our Christmas Lunch was somewhat French in nature.
Seafood starters, a " digestive" champagne sorbet between courses and a turkey lunch with gravy to die for.
I ended the day watching a shit monster movie with my nephew.
It's interesting joining in with another family's Christmas traditions for everyone has their own particular way of doing things. 
I didn't get up until ten this morning, which is unheard of. I'm enjoying the blow up mattress and I am sure I look a little like the Queen Mary negotiating a rather turpid mid Atlantic swell when rolling over to get comfortable.
I'm curbing the impulse of throwing myself Scarlett O'Hara-esque onto myside when the Prof is reclining on the other!
Later today, after a walk, we shall be eating bubble and squeak with cold meat and tomorrow after a trip to the Turner Museum in Margate we shall be having tea" at the Prof's Uncle and Aunt's home. They have an impressive winter wonderland village set out in their front room.
It's the size of Trelawnyd apparently! 

Happy Christmas

A Photo sent to me early this am

There is always one child that breaks her toy as soon as opening it! 

Have a nice day 

" Gawd Bless Us ...one and all" 

Christmas Eve

Bloody Hell it's Christmas Eve!
I'm sitting in my mother in law's conservatory sipping strong coffee.
I'm also wearing my Walking Dead Christmas Jumper bought for me by my sister!
A thoughtful gift I thought!
We start the slog of family visits later today, which I prepared for nicely by sleeping 10 hours on a blow up matress on the floor of the dining room. I tell you this to add a little colour into the proceedings for getting up seems to be somewhat of an interesting spectacle for me as I have to roll onto the floor like a hippo sliding off a mud bank!
Have a relaxed, peaceful and good natured day, you' all!
Hey ho! Ho! Ho! 

Christmas Greetings

Bootham Park Hospital york

I received a Christmas email today.
It's EXACTLY what I wanted to hear in a Christmas greeting.
It was from an old friend from my York days
She told me ,
That 30 years ago we shared a Christmas day
Which featured 2 bottles of wine, 1 bottle of cheap champagne, 1 large chicken, shop bought roast potatoes, a mentally unstable friend who showed up and flashed us both her rather untidy fanny after drinking most of a bottle of brandy and a Christmas pudding which was dropped onto the floor, scraped up and eaten with forks as we had run out of spoons!

I bought her a hardback version of To Kill A Mockingbird  and she bought me a leather bound diary and an ink pen to die for.......and last night after an email flurry, we have organised to meet up in Chester 26 years after we last met!
Happy Christmas .......that's what The Yuletide is all about..........touching base!