Kicking The Cat

Of all of the mental mechanisms that we all employ to survive the brickbats of daily living, it is transference , that I think is the most common and the most easily recognised if you have a modicum of self awareness.
In the first few days after Finlay died I was a volcano of anger( to those newer readers Finlay was my first Welsh Terrier ). I kept things ticking over until I found myself walking down the high street in nearby Prestatyn. At one narrow point I came face to face with two teenage boys riding their bikes on the pavement and after a short stand off I found myself yelling " YOU DONT RIDE BIKES ON THE PAVEMENT !!"into their astonished faces like a banshee at full moon.
The pressure cooker needed to blow off some steam.

Yesterday, the old transference thing found itself bubbling away on Colwyn Bay Promenade .
I recognised the signs and felt the pressure cooker shaking away.
A bland looking woman with a staffie off it's lead suddenly loomed into view .
The staffie looked good natured but as it spied Mary it's head lifted into that stance that could go either way, so I picked Mary up by the scruff and bounced her onto my forearm.
" It's ok she's friendly!" The woman trilled but I wasn't having any of it as the staffie trotted round me   rather too forcibly
" That dog should be on a lead " I said firmly but not rudely
and then the argument started .
The " mind your own business!" comment got my dander up as did the pointed " Little Hitler " reference but I reined it in at the eleventh hour of the row when I just knew I was just about to lose it bigstyle.
Instead of letting off the roar that was inside of me just screaming to get out
I took a deep breath as I lowered Mary to the ground with a dignified sweep of my arm ( the woman had by this time slipped the lead on her dog but was still bumping her gums ) and I pointed downward with well rehearsed practice stating loudly
" Take your dog and your VERY cheap shoes and get lost!" 

Ps. It's  dry, warm and slightly overcast morning...Ideal for The Flower Show which was originally scheduled for today..hey ho

I'll leave you with something happier

A lovely dancing dentist

The Power Of A Film Scene

I was asked recently just why I love the cinema so much.
The answer is a complex one, but I think the main power of film is that it often captures tiny moments in time, moments that we so often never ever able to see and understand.
I was reminded of such a scene last night.
The movie Hostiles has one of the most powerful endings of any film I have ever seen. Shot in slow motion we see the film's traumatised anti hero ( Christian Bale) slowly walking down the platform of a western train station as a train steams away. The audience knows that on the train is an equally traumatised Rosamund Pike  which whom Bale has had a relationship with , and only minutes before had the opportunity in joining for a new life away from the brutality of the Indian wars. Bale rejected the chance of salvation , his expression sort of indicating that he will return to his life of violence and savagery, but as the train moves away, right at the very final moment of the film we witness him stepping on the back of the train to physical and mental safety.
It's a lovely moment.

Like I said last night I was reminded of such a pivotal cinematic moment.
Winnie and Albert and George and I were over in the field checking on the ponies. I'm especially fond of the little gelding who is quite over friendly at times and I love blowing into his nose, taking in  that musty nutty smell horses often possess.
We were standing not far from the little cemetery behind the church and I'd already noticed that a young couple were sitting on the grass in front of a grave. The young woman, had long blonde hair and was drinking from a small bottle. I heard her laugh and watched her for a second as she gathered up some flowers to lean against a gravestone.
It felt as though she was visiting a loved one , informally and with a relaxed warmth.
And as glanced over again past the curve of the gelding's back.
I saw the girl lean over and gently kiss the top of the gravestone.

A little cinematic moment, captured in my head forever.

Where Is Mel Giedroyc when you need her?

I had a mini melt down this afternoon
A phone call gone awry
What I needed was the comic actress Mel Giedroyc to be there standing in the living room in a lurid pink jacket
Does anyone remember her comparing "  The Great British Bake off" a few years ago..?
It was the one where the pouting Ruby lost it over her complicated bake in the semi finals
Ruby was getting all flouncy and bad tempered when Mel went all Women's Institute on her.
The younger woman needed a firm hand as she was being all snappy so the ever pragmatic Mel turned on the sulky young woman with a sharp
" Ruby ...get a grip ok?...get a RUDDY grip!!!!" 

Class

Research

" I have another blog question! How old are they and what sex are they?" 
So asked Mr A when I stood paying for petrol at the village garage and shop.
( Mr A, as you may recall asked the  where are you all from ? blog question earlier in the year, the one that gained nearly 700 comments in 48 hours!)
This second question not only caught me unawares but confused Margaret the cashier somewhat
" How old are who? "she asked " and are who having sex?" 
It got all a bit confusing after that

And so, Mr A in one of his more vague posed questions wants to know dear readers

How old are you?( you can give a wide demographic here if you wish eg " over fifty , over sixty etc" 

What sex are you?

And thirdly ( for the bemused Margaret ) 

ARE YOU STILL HAVING SEX?

Should be an interesting read
( let it be said that Mr A suggests that I have an 80 % female readership of ( and I'm quoting) " a more mature demographic " 
He also suggested that most of my male followers are "LGBT"  ( I didn't correct him as he was on a roll)
We have a bet going ( a few quid ) that I have no followers under 25! ( I said I must have at least 5)

ta Muchly

After some reflection I removed yesterday's post.
It's time to generally diversify the conversations if I can
Having said this I looked at my blogger stats this morning and was surprised to see the numbers of people returning to Going Gently for a look during  July.
Thank you all for popping in . Your support has been fantastic.

The Clock

I initiated one of those elephant in the room conversations today
They are never easy ones to give or to hear.
I asked if my husband could start to think about items he wants to take from our home.
Items of personal importance .
I don't want ambiguity and spats over shared and loved things further down the line.

However I had to be honest when I told him I wanted to keep our grandfather clock.
It's a magnificent locally made Welsh clock from the mid 19th century

He had bought it , but my sister and I had bid on it in a local auction sale many moons ago now and it was , as I recall an exhilarating and stressful twenty minutes out of our lives
The clock had be owned by my best friends' parents for many years and by their family for generations . It was sold when their dear parents had passed away, people who I cared for deeply.
It stood by their front door and I knew and loved it well when I was growing up.

The clock will stay with me.
And....It's a comfort.

S

Runs

Three of the dogs have diarrhoea
Stupidly I used a non known batch of tinned food last night  as I had run out of their usual
I have just returned from a four hour mentoring stint and now realise that Albert has let them in from the kitchen to have the total run of the cottage .
"Runs in the cottage" more like.
And to make things worse the postman has been.
The dogs love galloping around like fools when the post comes!

Mage the badge

http://urban-archology.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your kind gift!
I'll never lose my keys ever again! 

Dirty Bastard

When I was in primary school there were a group of kids who lived in the grottiest house on the council estate.
By anyone's standards they were " loppy"
And were referred to somewhat cruelly as The Stinkbombs
Nowadays the kids would be seen for what they were....deprived and abused children .

I got to thinking about the stinkbombs after emptying the dyson today.
Every day I Hoover the cottage and every day this is what is retrieved from the carpets
Smelly filthy crap!

Every day! 
In a week I could probably fill a large scatter cushion with the detritus collected from animals, humans and a sooty wood burner.
In a month I could fill an average mattress

I can't believe I've just posted a blog about the contents of my vacuum !

A Big Hunk Of Spunk

I went to see Mission Impossible Fallout this evening,
It's really no different from any of the previous five or is it 6 in the series, except the chases are longer, the fights bigger, and the IMF team is now pared down to Tom Cruise, Ving Rimes and a gaunt Simon Pegg.
Don't bother understanding the story, its a usual romp against a nutter wanting to take over the world a fact complicated by infighting by CIA, FBI  and MI6, a blond femme fatale with a flick knife and the obligatory black American intelligence woman looking tough in a power suit (Angela Bassett)
Its shite, but it is terribly polished and entertaining shite which is marvellous fun.
Rebecca Ferguson turns up again as a British agent who can break a neck with her thighs ( a nice move as she is an accomplished actress who brigs a heart and believe it or not some warmth to the movie.)
There's the usual gadgets, prosthetic masks and bells and whistles to please everyone
But for me it was the six footer muscle mary Henry Cavill who steals the film with his turn as a double agent baddie assassin
he's one massive hunk of spunk!

Glorious Rain

It remains warm but is gloriously wet  this morning
And in shorts and t shirt I took the dogs out in pairs so I could get drenched in the rain
The parched grass, gardens and trees looked as though they were taking a collective gulp as it came down  under a grey sky