Wednesday, 29 June 2016


With The Prof away and still with a fairly large knee I took myself off to the cinema tonight to see the coming of age Turkish movie Mustang.
Set in modern day rural Turkey ( a thousand miles and two hundred years away from Istanbul) Mustang centres on the life of five orphaned sisters living a fairly normal teenage life with their exasperated Grandmother and traditionally paternalistic Uncle.
Seen through the eyes of the youngest and most feisty sister Lale (Gunes Sensoy) we follow the the sisters' virtual imprisionment in the family home as the adult relatives prepare the girls for marriage ( the only way they can maintain face within the local community who feel that the girls are rather more wayward than they admit to)
Initially Lale is sheltered from the degrading way of life even when their Uncle calls for the older girls' virgin status to be medically checked out. Nor is she aware of the growing sexual abuse going on in the family home , but gradually she becomes aware of the toxic nature of their existence, and it is her that hatches a plan for escape.
Mustang  is a beautifully crafted movie. Not only is the story about archaic  attitudes to women and womens' rights but it is a subtle and rather moving exploration of puberty and sexual awareness.
One scene in particular, lingers long in the mind and that that is when the five sisters escape their prison home to attend a football match in the capital. Because of bad behaviour of the male football fans, the  national game is male supporter free, so amid thousands of other female spectators , the girls scream and dance and celebrate their new found freedom in a scene that lifts your heart like no other could.
It's a wonderful movie , it really is .

I'll leave you with Jill's and Dawn Rene's  novelty fruit entry for the Flower Show....more please readers...

Fat Knee

Spot the fat knee

I went to work for just two hours last night.
My right knee had suddenly swollen up during the day and had become so painful that I overcame my usual shyness with medics and asked the SHO on intensive care to give it a prod for me.
" you have a fat knee" he told me
" It's bursitis and you need to rest and elevate it" he added
Not something you want to hear at the start of a 12 hour shift.
Anyhow I took myself home and as I drove up to the cottage I spied the Prof with all four dogs ( with Albert) in the lane. It had started to rain.
I told him that I had come home to rest my fat knee
And he handed me the leads....saying " The dogs need a pee"
So much for sympathy!

Anyhow I will leave you with Charlotte's Novelty Veg photo! Thank you Charlotte for overcoming the general apathy I have noticed in this year's potential competitors ! So many of you have been overfaced by Rachel's high standard logo!
I need at least 30 more photos please.....

Tuesday, 28 June 2016


1. Winnie fell in love with the visiting electrician yesterday and I think the feeling was mutual.
She adores workmen
It's a blue collar lurve.
Luckily he was used to dogs, so when she followed him up into the airing cupboard, he didn't batter an eye and when he flashed his head around the hot water tank and she jammed her head alongside his to see what he was doing, I could hear him talking to her in a sweet paternal type way.
When he left , she walked him up the garden path and blew him kisses from the gate.

2. I was caught photographing a fellow villager's face over the garden wall yesterday afternoon. He was " striking a pose" reminiscent of Madonna in a Vogue period which looked even more surreal given the fact he is 80. The farmer driving past looked rather wide eyed ....I must admit.
( The reason that I was ipad photographing my friend was the fact he has had cancer surgery on his face and because he is worried about the resulting scar tissue, I have arranged to photograph the area every few days, in order for him to check the progress of the wound)
If I die tomorrow at least The Prof will understand that just why I have a dozen close ups of my neighbours face tucked away in the ipad.

3. A nameless villager complained to me that another nameless villager was leaving their side door to the garden open all of the time.
" They are showing off" the complaint went " they only want passing people to see just how lovely their back garden is"
I didn't quite grasp the upsetting nature of it all so muttered a nondescript " oh dear!" in way of a response
From left to Right, Mrs Trellis, The Vicar and unhappy unnamed villager! 

4 The number of International Novelty Veg/ fruit photo entries is worrying low at present!  Mrs Trellis suggested that the quality of the first entries have paralysed the other potential exhibitors.
I told her she would need to start whittling away at a cucumber and polishing her Polaroid if more didn't come in soon!
So please! Send your novelty veg entries into email jgsheffield as soon as possible please! We need to beat last year's 60 entries!

5.  Affable despot Jason and wife Claire now have picket fence! I adore it as it looks sooooo 1940 American movie Studio set......I am so reminded of Starlings - The Miniver house in Mrs Miniver
I am however slightly disappointed that Jason has not painted it white as yet! All picket fences should be white!

It  is affable despot Claire's birthday today!

6. Auntie Gladys has been surreptitiously been selling her own raffle tickets for the flower show raffle even though I have most of the official ones in our back kitchen. You can't keep a good 97 year old down!
I have written to local squire Nigel Steele- Mortimer to see if he will open this year's show, the vicar
wasn't keen last year!
Squire Mortimer

7. Mary's ear infection has returned. The Prof has allowed her to sleep with us as a result.

Monday, 27 June 2016

The Bus Stop Rule

I had my PDR review yesterday. ( Performance Development Review)
I felt sorry for the senior staff nurse doing it. I know she was just ticking the box so to speak as this year is hopefully my last year of official employment.
There was nothing much she could get her teeth into .
When asked about my role , I answered honestly that I thought that I was a safe pair of hands.
Nothing more.

In my past life I must have done hundreds of PDRs Most of which have been routine affairs but there was always a few that had required very careful handling.
Relationships have always muddied the waters when it comes to work, for there is a great pressure to get on with folk especially when working within a team.
When I was younger, I worried a great deal about everyone liking me.
Now I dont give a flying fuck.

I once had to do a PDR with a nurse from Central Africa who was renown to be a somewhat prickly and quick-to-take offence sort of character. She once tried to accuse me of being racist but was shouted down by two fellow black nurses who defused the situation by interjecting some deep bellied laughter into the proceedings........but that's another story.

Anyhow I remember her tearfully complaining that she thought that several staff did not like her and she could not quite figure out why. I tried the old reflective practice thing, explored situations that may have given her a clue to just why her  relationships were not quite up to expectations but she had little self awareness to speak of so I resorted to a discussion of the old bus stop rule.

" Picture yourself at a bus stop with 12 strangers " I said
" ok" The nurse said
" How many would you like do you think?"
She thought for a moment
" Perhaps two" she answered
" How many would you dislike, do you think?" Was my next question
And this time she answered " one perhaps"
" And how many would you think are just ok?"
"Nine?" She said counting in her head
" So why would you expect things to be different just because We are all nurses?"
She thought for a moment and shrugged
"That story does not help me " she said in that sing song voice many African women possess
" It also does not apply to you! " she said pointedly
" why does it not apply to me?" I asked her
" You're driving the bus" she said .

Sunday, 26 June 2016


The cutest of police officers proposes to his boyfriend

Ships That Pass!

This photo is a kind of metaphor for our lives at the moment.
Winnie at one level and Mary at another.
The Prof came home last night exhausted. I am up at 6 am this morning and wont get back from work until 8 pm. By then the Prof will be journeying to work elsewhere.
Ships that cross in the night is an apt phrase.
We grunted at each other this morning as William opened his bowels on the landing wall ( he's old and he likes backing into things remember?)
Only eleven months before I retire!
Then I can get a proper job
One with no unsocial hours

Saturday, 25 June 2016

People's Judge

The Prof is away again so it's been an afternoon of guilty pleasures.
No, no scotch Walking Dead box slo mo re runs of Russell Crowe dressed as a gladiator................I have resisted them all.
But I have been watching The People's Court which has recently had it's first airing on British  tv.
For those few that don't know The People's Court is the glamorous version of Judge Judy but with a Spanish speaking New York/ latin judge at the helm.
That Judge is Marilyn Milian and I have decieded that she is my new best friend. 

Friday, 24 June 2016

Independence Day -Resurgence (Spoilers)

I needed cheering up today , so my sister and I went to the cinema

Independence Day ( 1996) had three ingredients that made it a hit.
It had two exhilarating set pieces ( when stripper mother Jasmin ( Vivica A Fox) , her son and dog faced certain death in an fireball engulfed freeway tunnel followed a little later by the cheer rousing scene of Will Smith sucker punching an alien pilot with the audience pleasing line " Welcome to Earth!"
It also featured a much imitated rousing-to-arms Presidential Speech by Bill Pullman ( which unbelievably Nigel Farage stole today for his " victory speech!!)
Nuff said.

I, oh so wanted to enjoy Roland Emmerich's overblown remake of his seminal 1990s disaster movie, but I couldn't as he has thrown everything but the kitchen sink at the bloody thing.
We have space ships and a united world from the get go. Fighter Pilot Hiller has died ( a wise Will Smith me thinks) and his widow Jasmin ( now the head of a hospital) lives only long enough to save a new mom and her baby before she dies when the alien gigantic mother ships crashes back to earth! Add to the mix London getting flattened by most of Asia's skyscrapers which have been sucked free of gravity by the aliens, an African tribal chief with a murderous look in his eye, a mad ex president, the multicultural cast of Top Gun , and finally ( and to my true enjoyment) a school bus full of kids, a 
wide eyed dog and Jewish octogenarian  Judd Hirsch (reprising his role as Julies Levinson ) careering across the Nevada Desert chased by a 200 foot alien Queen 
The whole thing is a dreadful old mess.
Hat's off to Brent Spiner though, he did entertain me with his frantic turn as the mad as a badger scientist who spent the last two decades in a alien induced coma!

I'll leave you with novelty veg/ fruit photos

Yorkshire Pudding's post sex bananas

Gail's creation!