Counselling Session 12 September 2023

 It went something like this…

Wily Old Irish Counsellor : “ when was the last time you bought something nice for yourself?” 

John: “I bought myself theatre tickets last week”

Wily Old Irish Counsellor: “ something to wear” she countered quickly

John: “ erm…….erm…I’m not sure” 

Wily Old Irish Counsellor “ Something that made you feel good” she fingered her bright red scarf as a kind of metaphor 

John: I can’t remember 

Silence 

More silence 

But voices in my head saying

You don’t deserve anything nice ! 

You’d only ruin it! 

Reading the room the Wily Old Irish Counsellor said “ Why wouldn’t you warrant nice clothes?”

And my silence spoke volumes.

Today I went to Mostyn Gallery and I bought an Elin Manon scarf

https://www.elinmanon.com/

One of my clients noticed it today and said it was Very Me 

I laughed and agreed with her before we moved on 

Blue

 

She looked smaller than I’ve ever seen her. 

Dwarfed not only by a large woollen coat and her trademark erect arran bobble hat.

Grief had literally reduced her to a child’s size

Mrs Trellis had lost her greyhound Blue.

I heard through velvet voiced Linda that she had Blue put down after a short illness and had taken a plant around in way of sympathy. The old lady was bereft and shocked and upset that some in the village had made it clear that she should have done the deed earlier. 

Greyhounds look dreadful when they lose weight

She cried when she shared his last moments and was angry at the vet who came out, all emotions so normal but so unwanted. 

Her usually warm little bungalow was dark and cold and felt very empty when I turned to go

Christmas Challenge

 Most of the morning has been filled with show Admin. Chasing up acts, requesting music checking details , yes herding cats.

I’ve done all what I can do so my attention has been drawn to the knotty subject of Christmas . 

Now I’m working Christmas Day so practically I wanted to buy my family no fuss gifts, ones that I can get down to them easily .

And so the challenge this year is to buy gifts that will fit inside a 2x1 inch box🤪

Everyone will get the same box but each one will have something different inside.

My sister Janet, for example will get a miniature ballerina with tickets for the Royal Ballet ( Giselle) and a room booked at Z hotel in Covent Garden, I can tell you this as she already knows the contents but the further challenge is that I need to find some more things to accompany the gifts…

VOILÀ-Bárbara Pravi- Grupo Talía

Mercedes from the lisping Choir messaged me tonight that a new video was available…

13 year old Emma Kok belted the Eurovision ballad  out on Andre Rieu’s 2023- 2024 tour , most noticeably in Bahrain ( an interesting choice I thought) 

I will discuss this more tomorrow 

Doll On A Music Box - Sally Ann Howes

I love small magical moments 

Those that catch you totally by surprise and make you stop dead in your tracks

Friday night was a case in point, and one I didn’t describe adequately at the time, but it was as moving as it was unexpected and it was collectively felt and experienced by everyone present in the same way, which is always rare yet surprisingly moving.

The adults were all busy with doing Things as ten year old Imogen was asked to test the sound system in the memorial Hall. 

There were a dozen of us in the hall as she started to sing.

A young soprano, with a beautifully clear voice singing Doll on a Music Box from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

The room fell silent immediately. 

Then The Velvet Voiced Linda and others waved their arms in way of accompaniment as the little girl’s voice literally filled the hall.

One of those moments that just happen out of nowhere

Bra Straps

 

Cold and wet today and I’ve pulled myself up by my bra straps

The bleed in my right eye can be seen if I close my eyes. 

It’s the shape of Elphaba from Wicked, how apt I thought……

The Welsh and I drove to Colwyn Bay for coffee and shared sausage butty, which blew away the cobwebs and on the way home I bought a chicken to roast for lunch. I will plate up an extra meal for a friend across the village which I will pop off later….

As we got out of Bluebell behind the cottage a shout in the wind made me look up. A couple in the graveyard were waving at me. The couple Luke & Shana were Americans and Mormons. As it turned out , his relatives, way back had rebuilt the church and my cottage, a fact which literally blew his mind, given that he only wanted to ask me about the ownership of the church.

I made a coffee, and lit the fire

And as the Welsh slept, drying their coats on the kitchen reading chair 

The cottage filled with the smell of roast chicken 

Only Me

Another lisping choir’s performance and one I enjoyed from the back row just over Silvia’s left shoulder.

I’ve wrapped Christmas gifts today and sent them. 

And have written some of Trelawnyd Productions recently commissioned Christmas Cards

Fuck me we are becoming a franchise 

I’ve also sent Nu a copy of Kathy Burke’s autobiography a Mind Of My Own , not because it is Christmas soon , but because I enjoyed it so much. 

I suddenly remembered it was nephew Leo’s birthday today , and I was annoyed that I had forgotten it…

I sent money via on line banking and messaged him with instructions to spend it on comics and film tickets. 

He sounded cheerful 😃😃😃

I can’t shake the blues today, even though I’ve been busy…..

To chase away a virus inducing sense of loneliness , I’ve made spiced Italian bean soup with pancetta and smoky paprika and have cooked spiced chips laced with garlic and curry powder . I’ve drunk lemon juice spiked lemsip and spent far too long in a hot shower

And I had a good cry with Roger on my knee, over nothing more than a face lick.

Hey ho xx

On reflection , I know where today’s mood came from.

I’ve recently complained to the Post Office that I suspect we residents down Cwm Road are getting deliveries just once a week. I was asked to clarify my worries last night, in a phone to a chirpy woman full of apologies and good humour.

Are there other house residents worried about their post? 

She asked and I told her that I lived alone

So nobody else?…….she repeated and I fell into that trap and said, almost apologetically

No it’s only me 

The Production Begins

 Things are coming together for the show, even though the process feels as though we are heading a group of cats. Affable Despot Jason , helper Will, Dave and Director Kira got on the stage to work out the sound system in the village hall as I discussed the running order with compare Billy . 

The Velvet Voiced Linda was already smooshing the bigwigs from the Male Voice Choir as our recently conscripted administration manager Gina ( a tiny powerhouse of a woman who seems to be on every committee going) sorted out flyers and posters and funding and local counsel leaders to attend on the night. 

I just fielded questions and wrote things down . The main rehearsals start next week, but one young star did her sound check tonight. 

Quite lovely and all rather magical