Household Cockups

The Prof is away and I am just about to finish a serious bout of housework.
I don't mind as the job is quite satisfying especially if you have left a cat like Albert have free reign in the house for a week.
It's a bit like being a serial killer as you have to remove all traces of the dead bodies .
The living room was covered by the almost mumified parts of what looked like  some sort of tit.
Under the bed was quarter of a small rabbit and I found a pair of back legs and a tail of something unfortunate underneath the bookcase.
My friend Bel Ami  only does housework when he has a row with his wife which is a shame as I think he's missing out.....I find cleaning strangely therapeutic even when there are putrefying bodies involved.
Now, long term readers of Going gently will remember that I used to be a bit of a fiend when it came to household bleach. I used to have a tendency to splash it too liberally around the toilet bowl and bath and on  more that one occasion have burnt my buttocks rather badly when I have forgotten I had not rinsed away the residue.

Today's mistake was to spray all of the throws and cushions in the living room with fly spray instead of the more fragrant spray starch
I've had to rewash everything.......

What's your worst household mistake?
It's nice to get back to some sort of normality here, so I would be interested to hear?  

All Intact

I've just sat down
At the end of a long day. Dogs have all returned. Albert is fine. The field animals are all present and correct.
All are asleep.
My sister has looked after George superbly. We will wait and see what happens after his antibiotics
I will leave you with this happy photo as  I can't be arsed explaining anything else

A note of Thanks

we are homeward bound this morning and by teatime the children  Sorry, animals will be collected and collated back home.
We can find out more about George's affliction, prise Winnie from her foster mother and pay a kings ransom to the kennels housing the Welsh terriers, who will, no doubt, sleep for the next 24 hours.

I've enjoyed my time in Kent. Thanks to Sorrel for her hospitality and for her never ending effort to go the last mile. Thanks to Jon and Charlotte for hosting some delicious meals and thanks to Duncan and Izzy for the use of the beach hut even though it took us an age to work out what went where!

Richard was a brick chauffeuring us around the Dover cliffs and Leo was very sweet quizzing me to distraction about soddin Star Wars. 

So a big thank you to "The family Prof."...

The Art Of Not Noticing

Sometimes it a bonus being totally unaware of what is going on around you.
Some people just seem to have this skill.
Nothing seems to affects them !
I ENVY THOSE PEOPLE
I am reminded of an elderly enrolled nurse, I once worked with in psychiatry called Donald O'Hara
( enrolled nurses were affectionately known as greenies btw as they often wore green uniforms ) anyhow.... he was Irish, a bit dim, but rather sweet and  had the unerring talent not to be involved or notice any conflict or violent incident when it occurred on the ward, a ward which catered for 30 odd long term mentally ill men.
One lunchtime, I was supervising " dinners" with two other student nurses when one particularly florid schizophrenic patient kicked off  with a fellow patient. Within seconds the two patients had hit each other with full plates of cottage pie and as we students jumped in to separate the men another patient waded into the scuffle by throwing a full jug of juice into the array.
The fight progressed to the heated dinner trolley, where a metal container of baked beans was launched into the mix and as I ( bravely) hung onto the instigator ( who was then screaming that he was original King of Spain) I was spun  into a bamboo planter full of spider plants and knocked the entire collection onto the floor.
To add to the confusion a particularly degraded patient who had the unfortunate nickname of " The animal" crawled into the mess happily eating all of the trampled pastry and mashed potato which had been flung onto the floor.
Of course we students didn't have the gravitas to stop the whole melee, but stop it did when the charge nurse thundered down from his office and bellowed a sharp and aggressive shout of
" DESIST THIS FOOLERY THIS  INSTANT  !"  from the dining room doorway
He looked at us student nurses and baked bean covered patients with a sneering disgust and walked back to his office shaking his head.
Only then did Donald appear. He had been reading the Racing Post in one of the buxton chairs adjacent to the dining room and as he tucked it into his uniform pocket he gave me,  the other food stained student nurses,  and the cowed patients a brief sympathetic  look.

" what's for pudding?" He asked without cracking a smile.

Margate

We went to Margate today

Curved Ball

I should have known better.
In the last post I mentioned that I've not been worried about the animals
And a few hours later my sister rings with the news that George has something wrong with his jaw.
A sudden foul smelling mass which looks suspect according to the vet who examined him
The Prof and I tried so very hard to smile through a family dinner tonight
But I suspect we failed miserably. 

Juggling

I thought I would repeat the holiday selfie 

The Prof ( note both Roger Moore Eyebrows are pinched) the Dowager Sorrel and me 

Today is father's day
Having divorced parents means separate days and separate visits when on holiday, so today we are off to the Kent countryside for a mooch and a pub meal with Richard doing the driving.
We've picked the pub.....it has lamb scotch eggs on the menu...
Result!

The weather is just about to break and there is rain in the air. Unfortunately part of my shinbone resembles corned beef, from too much sun yesterday.
But I thought that at least I fitted in with the great blobs of burnt East End flesh on show on the sand.
I've just realised that  Londoners don't seem to " do" full sunshine very well.

Yesterday Laura from somewhere in the midwest asked me if I was missing the animals and I must say that I have not.
I havent because, like the mother of five toddlers who has got an unexpected pass out to a local bar for the first time,  it's just wonderful to be able to rest your mind and energy  and not worry about something four legged or feathered.
The animals are all in good hands.

Over the last few days I have watched overwrought parents trying to cater for demanding scraps of children 24/7.
It looks a thankless task.
Tantrums and tears, worries over drowning, sunburn, accidents, bad behaviour, and "I've told you before get off that friggin harbour wall" looks and feel exhausting!
I didn't envy many of those  harassed and tired faces, so in need of a quiet child free holiday of their own.

I have the right idea.....farm your kids out to kind neighbours, loving friends, supportive family and failing that bung em in a high security home for the bewildered for 20 quid a night!
You can always keep up to date on what's happening over facebook!
Over a perfectly relaxing cup of coffee!

Winnie in her pristine holiday home! 

White furniture and floor with bulldogs? 

Holiday Selfie

Families

No it's not the Blue's Brothers but a rare-as-hens teeth screen shot of the Prof with his nephew on the rides at Broadstairs Water Gala.
The Prof has a small family compared to mine and one which is run on very different lines as you would expect. it's dynamics are interesting to watch and invariably this leads me to think of my own family and parenting, even though, I am now technically an orphan.
The Prof's family are more sedate than mine, I shared this fact a day or so ago
Mine can ( and were) quite raucous after a small sherry or three and The Prof reminded me of this fact as he recalled our wedding reception.
I think he enjoys my family's silliness

Anyhow,it looks like another warm day here on the Kent Coast and I am going to a second hand bookshop to buy something I can really get my teeth in as the beach hut calls us yet again
I shall leave you with an emailed photo from teenage boffin Cameron who has been overseeing the field. Daryl, Abe and Glen are looking mighty fine!

Health & Safety

It's water gala day here in Broadstairs today which historically, from what I can gather was always a good natured It's a knockout! 

Water Gala Day used to mean Millers and Sweeps fighting on the beach with soot and flour. burly men pulling at each other in  tugs of war...and good looking blokes swinging at each other over a greasy poles! 

Yes all good clean English fun! 

Now Health and Safety has moved in even Neptune ( who used to wade into the bay, all glorious and wet) now has to be ferried onto land by rubber dingy, presumably hiding a life jacket under his seaweed! 

Lie In

Our beach hut is around the 8th from the left! 

Broardstairs is picture postcard pretty!
We opened up the beach hut for a few hours yesterday afternoon and watched the shenanigans of seaside life which included a very inebriated Network Rail worker sharing school boy homophobic jokes with our neighbours!
I couldn't take too much umbrage with him as he seemed like a genuiningly nice bloke

Today , I think I shall sleep on the beach.
I was hoping for a lie in, what with no little ( and big) dog babies demanding walks and such like but the low level yap-yap-yap  of a neighbours dog combined with a different bed and the hysterical screeching of the herring gulls around 5am all conspired against restful slumber.

I have eyes like piss holes in snow this morning!

But, the sun is out.
The sky is blue,
My coffee is strong
And I'm writing to you!

Hey ho!

Poor Blogger

I've been a poor specimen of a blogger over the last few days.
Not replying to my comments seem send some fellow writers into a state of near hysterical apoplexy, such is the transgression from blogging etiquette.
But we are on holiday for a week, so I shall endeavour to catch up with things on an ad hoc basic as the Prof and I enjoy the Kent coast.
So, what happens to the animals when we are away I hear you ask?
Well we have a cottage sitter who looks after the house with animal helper Pat overseeing Albert care. Sailor John and Village elder Islwyn are sharing field duties with teenage boffin Cameron acting as back up and very shortly I shall be taking Mary and William to their Kennels .
Yesterday George, in his usual jaunty way, bounced into my sister's house for his week of pampering and the fat diva, after my facebook plea for a local homely bed and breakfast has settled down quite nicely thank you very much in the home of a work friend .
This was her facebook photo from last night

How loyalties can shift once the man of the house is cooking roast beef!

Sunday

George and The Prof are sunbathing on the lawn. winnie is cooling her nipples on the cold concrete of the path and Mary is tied to the metal chair by the front door to keep her out of trouble.
William has retired to the cool cttage interior and is curled up on the easy chair.
Albert is over in the churchyard stalking rabbits
And I am watching it all as theChurch bell sounds off to herald afternoon sevice

What are you doing this Sunday afternoon

Bugger

Sometimes you look and feel like this 

When all you want to be , is ....this

A Small Tits Up

Small things conspire against you sometimes
I'm working all day  tomorrow and don't want to
The Prof and I have just had a row over a miscommunication
Mary has been stung by a wasp whist playing with the neighbour's dog and is now acting all useless . (She is presently lying fallorn with George under the kitchen table)
But lets look on the bright side
Weaver seems to be improving ( good on yer girl)
We are on holiday to Broadstairs very soon! ( with our own beach hut! )
And The Walking Dead returns in Oct...
Things could be worse

Speak on Sunday

Filth even

For a few days now, I have noticed that the butter in the butter dish has had a strange , slightly ridged surface.
I wondered if it was a new kind of wrapper that had caused it
WRONG!
After making the Prof's marmite on toast this morning, I came back into the kitchen to prepare my own breakfast.
Only to see
Albert licking the butter pat, with his eyes closed.

Poundland/ lodge Moor

I went to the poundland store today which is unfortunately full of the great unwashed.
But it was a fruitful visit as for only four whole pound coins
I bought a washing up bowl, cleaning wipes for the car, a set of sports earphones ( so I Can listen to music when out for my power walks) and a cd of Cher's love Hurts album.

I have not heard this track for an absolute age, but it brought back some wonderful memories
It's Fires Of Eden and although this is the one and only YouTube version available, it will do as it reminds me of singing along to it after too many beers with some nursing friends and a group of rehabing spinal injury patients all in their wheelchairs in the bar of the Three Merry Lads, which was located by the gates of Lodge Moor Hospital.
Two sets of young people 
Therapists and patients 
All sharing a good time


I sang along with the cd at the top of my voice on the way home
Like I said HAPPY DAYS

Dull Thursday

A summer's day in Wales.
Grey and cold and wet. We stopped at the Church gate to listen to the funeral hymn being sung.
There is nothing more melancholy than a Welsh funeral on a wet day.
I didn't know the chap who was being buried. He lived out of the village and cared for a wife with severe dementia. She, I was reliably informed afterwards, had the presence of  mind to ring for an ambulance after he had collapsed. Unfortunately she wasn't well enough to attend the service.
We then went to the Affable despot's house to feed their fish and  family gecko as they are away. I tied the dogs to the gate, fed the fish in their kitchen tank and then went to water the gecko ( who seems to be the most useless animal on earth as it neither seems to move or react ) as I was giving him a quick squirt with the moisturiser gun I heard a sudden bang from the bedroom above, then another and another and thinking I had suddenly disturbed an intruder I went to the bottom of the stairs and called out a fairly ineffectual and girly " hello? " up into the darkness .
A moment later Winnie suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs, she was smiling broadly. Obviously she had slipped her lead and had been enjoying herself greatly exploring a new home.

It took me an age to sponge down the fat paw prints from the carpet.

In The Fruit Bowl

I turned around after preparing stir fry vegetables for dinner

And this is what I saw

News Just In

Relating to point 5 in the previous post

The Prof has promised me a trip back to the big apple next year

if I reach my desired weight loss! 

Off for a power walk!