Some people just seem to have this skill.
Nothing seems to affects them !
I ENVY THOSE PEOPLE
I am reminded of an elderly enrolled nurse, I once worked with in psychiatry called Donald O'Hara
( enrolled nurses were affectionately known as greenies btw as they often wore green uniforms ) anyhow.... he was Irish, a bit dim, but rather sweet and had the unerring talent not to be involved or notice any conflict or violent incident when it occurred on the ward, a ward which catered for 30 odd long term mentally ill men.
One lunchtime, I was supervising " dinners" with two other student nurses when one particularly florid schizophrenic patient kicked off with a fellow patient. Within seconds the two patients had hit each other with full plates of cottage pie and as we students jumped in to separate the men another patient waded into the scuffle by throwing a full jug of juice into the array.
The fight progressed to the heated dinner trolley, where a metal container of baked beans was launched into the mix and as I ( bravely) hung onto the instigator ( who was then screaming that he was original King of Spain) I was spun into a bamboo planter full of spider plants and knocked the entire collection onto the floor.
To add to the confusion a particularly degraded patient who had the unfortunate nickname of " The animal" crawled into the mess happily eating all of the trampled pastry and mashed potato which had been flung onto the floor.
Of course we students didn't have the gravitas to stop the whole melee, but stop it did when the charge nurse thundered down from his office and bellowed a sharp and aggressive shout of
" DESIST THIS FOOLERY THIS INSTANT !" from the dining room doorway
He looked at us student nurses and baked bean covered patients with a sneering disgust and walked back to his office shaking his head.
Only then did Donald appear. He had been reading the Racing Post in one of the buxton chairs adjacent to the dining room and as he tucked it into his uniform pocket he gave me, the other food stained student nurses, and the cowed patients a brief sympathetic look.
" what's for pudding?" He asked without cracking a smile.