Clarification

My favourite picture of Finlay leading Meg, and little George on the beach in 2006

 Yesterday’s “ Finlay” post wasn’t just about the grief for a dog as most of you thought it was.

It was the written acceptance and understanding of a shared love for something that was in all intense purposes,  a child. 

A child with red/brown curly hair and a wicked sense of fun.

The craving to have your own offspring isn’t just the domain of women.

I have had to own my long term desire for children and unexpected as it was, the counselling room has been the safe place in which I’ve explored and accepted the fact. 

It’s a gift to be able to explore your motivations and your drives

And to acknowledge what makes you tick as a human in this strange collections of experiences we call life.

I would have been a good dad

I was a good dad to Finlay, albeit an over protective one

Realising that, and acknowledging it

Is important

Escandalo

 Out for Breakfast...will leave you with the lisping bass section on cracking form

Blurry but good 

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

In my personal counselling this week my counsellor asked me when my heart was broken last. 

She qualified it as being a question not associated about my ex husband 

And I answered her quickly and without a pause

It was the death of Finlay

My first dog.

He was five when he died, 

A brain tumour robbing me of a dog with a heart of a lion

And a nature that endeared me to Welsh terriers for all of my life

Chasing Cars was playing on the radio every time I took him to the vets and the animal hospital 

And when I remembered him in my counselling room , I cried like a baby at his loss

The son my husband and I shared that was “only” a dog

He was so much more my counsellor observed kindly and with insight…

And tearfully I agreed with her

His gravestone lies in the front garden right next to the agapanthus and Jews mallow

Finlay Christmas 2004

Chatter

 I’m starting early for me.its just past eight and the Welsh are walked and fed and in the car.

Weaver and Bun are playing in the living room and haven’t left the cottage even though the cat flap is open.

They are home birds.

I have three clients to see today and have changed one client’s appointment to an early slot to suit her childcare. 

I will have a break between each one today so walking the dogs and note making will be easier.

I have nothing else planned for today.

Tomorrow I’m picking up my friend Polly, at her garage ( car MOT) and we are going for breakfast, then I’m going for an eye test and then theatre in the evening to see a talk by a practicing doctor titled The Secret Life Of A Sleepless Anaesthetist. 

Affable Despot Jason is going with me so it will be lovely to catch up and I think the talk will be a hoot. In my experience anaesthetic doctors are the most human 

Chores

 

My garden daffs and the shocking pink flamingo baking measures I bought in London

The American’s have a good word for jobs.

There are chores to be done.

I like the word chores.

Today has been the day for chores.

I bought a camellia for Nu’s garden which will be sent to her lovely new home in Surrey. Sorted out my diabetes Eye test and booked the Welsh in for their Haircuts.

I picked up a coffee and porridge from McDonalds and splashed out on a cheesy bacon wrap for Roger and Mary. ( they both eat their goodies with eyes blissfully closed) 

I then went to see village leaders Ian and Helen about the Flower Show only to find them out, so I did shopping, collected a prescription for Trendy Carol’s hubby, paid Anne Williams for the throws she bought me from Spain, before cleaning out a kitchen cupboard and going to Supervision in Prestatyn.

Islwyn was walking down the lane when I returned home and stopped to talk

“You’ve lost weight” he observed, adding “I’m glad, this village would be sad to lose you”

Im getting more of that sort of comment  recently and will accept the sentiment behind it now with some alacrity. 

“Thank You” I told him, but he was already sharing an anecdote about a family member who had his legs taken off when he was 26 stone, the moment was gone.

I picked daffs from the garden as the chill evening approached 

They make the cottage cheerful 

They always do.

Nu

 I met Nu at the National Portrait Gallery and we went to Dishoom for a late lunch. My Neighbour Toroto was an oddity. An occassionally whimsical tale of  innocence and loss where sprites and benign monsters support two emotional needy sisters in rural Japan.

We left at the interval but spent the time laughing and talking all the way back to Thames Ditton .

Its been an important and emotional reunion for both of us

London Bound

Im looking forward to London.

I now have the energy for it .

Im meeting Nu around three, so will have an hour or two free to mooch around the Portrait Gallery or the river.

Its nice to be back

In all senses of the word

Sunday Off

I seldom have Sundays off.

Ive forgotten the routine.

After their walk, the Welsh had a treat.

We drove to McDonalds and they had a cheesy flatbread each and I had a bowl of porridge . 

It’s all very rock n roll.

We walked around to see the work done on the village pond , and was encouraged to see green pond weed growing healthily in its centre

Spring is almost here. 

I saw village leader Helen and arranged for me to meet with her hubby Ian on Wednesday in order to start planning the village Flower Show. It’s the 50th one this year and we want it to be bigger and better so I will be channelling my inner Linda Snell in order to make it so. 

The village is warmed and cheerful in today’s sunshine . I saw Terry who gave me a lot of advice on dieting, so much so the Welsh dropped to the pavement and then Anne who kindly bought me a beach throw from Spain, after I had Facebook complimented her on one she had bartered for.

Mrs Trellis was out too ( sans bobble hat), 

She was marching up towards The Gop, but there was no one else to see or greet as we turned for home