Clarification

My favourite picture of Finlay leading Meg, and little George on the beach in 2006


 Yesterday’s “ Finlay” post wasn’t just about the grief for a dog as most of you thought it was.
It was the written acceptance and understanding of a shared love for something that was in all intense purposes,  a child. 
A child with red/brown curly hair and a wicked sense of fun.
The craving to have your own offspring isn’t just the domain of women.
I have had to own my long term desire for children and unexpected as it was, the counselling room has been the safe place in which I’ve explored and accepted the fact. 
It’s a gift to be able to explore your motivations and your drives
And to acknowledge what makes you tick as a human in this strange collections of experiences we call life.
I would have been a good dad
I was a good dad to Finlay, albeit an over protective one
Realising that, and acknowledging it
Is important


21 comments:

  1. Love for animals and love for children are both special things. So is a good therapist, for that matter!
    I love what you share about your life, John.
    Another kind of love eh.

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  2. Barbara Anne6:23 pm

    What a lovely post, John. I agree you'd have been a wonderful dad and know any nieces and nephew(s?) you have certainly have loved having you for their uncle. Not to mention your many dogs and cats who have shared your home and your love.
    Love is never wasted.

    Hugs!

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  3. You are a good dad to all your furry offspring, and a good uncle to your nephew. Biology doesn't make a good parent. Just love and the desire to do your best for them. xx

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    1. I didn’t realise my own needs only in retrospect

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  4. Yes, John, you would have been a wonderful father to a human just as you are a wonderful father to your beloved animals. You are also a wonderful example of being vulnerable and sharing your life openly so others can connect. We all live for that connection. XO

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    1. Why have something like this, a journal of sorts without being honest

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  5. It must be disappointing when your posts are misunderstood or over simplified. Yet we love you and care about your life journey, inept tho our affection may seem.

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    1. No, it was my fault for not being clear

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  6. Traveller7:12 pm

    A good friend was heartbroken when her eight year old spaniel died. She said to me “it hurts as much as losing a child, and I know, I have lost a child”.

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    1. I rush sounding cross when I described it the way I did but it was heartfelt

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  7. Thanks for sharing this John.

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  8. Anonymous8:44 pm

    You definitely would have been a good Dad. Fostering services are desperate for weekend carers, maybe that would be a good fit for you?

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  9. Anonymous10:37 pm

    I have two wonderful sons one of whom single-handedly raised a girl child to become a wonderful young woman . Me ex husband I loved and the best choice for a closeted lesbian, he was also the best father a child could have. My same sex partner , is my most wonderful love though she says I love the dogs more.😂 Each of my loves I love equally but differently
    You would have been a great Dad , a dad who knows the depth of love

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  10. They (dogs AND cats) are probably our best children.

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  11. Love the pix of your fur babies. You have been an amazing parent to them all.

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  12. For whatever reason, it doesn't happen for every human. I remain so grateful that it happened for me. You would have been a better, more natural father than many dads out in the world today. Armed with love and emotional intelligence.

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  13. Your caring love and compassion are beautiful. Not everybody has that to give.

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