My favourite picture of Finlay leading Meg, and little George on the beach in 2006
Yesterday’s “ Finlay” post wasn’t just about the grief for a dog as most of you thought it was.
It was the written acceptance and understanding of a shared love for something that was in all intense purposes, a child.
A child with red/brown curly hair and a wicked sense of fun.
The craving to have your own offspring isn’t just the domain of women.
I have had to own my long term desire for children and unexpected as it was, the counselling room has been the safe place in which I’ve explored and accepted the fact.
It’s a gift to be able to explore your motivations and your drives
And to acknowledge what makes you tick as a human in this strange collections of experiences we call life.
I would have been a good dad
I was a good dad to Finlay, albeit an over protective one
Realising that, and acknowledging it
Is important
Love for animals and love for children are both special things. So is a good therapist, for that matter!
ReplyDeleteI love what you share about your life, John.
Another kind of love eh.
Another kind of love x
DeleteWhat a lovely post, John. I agree you'd have been a wonderful dad and know any nieces and nephew(s?) you have certainly have loved having you for their uncle. Not to mention your many dogs and cats who have shared your home and your love.
ReplyDeleteLove is never wasted.
Hugs!
Nicely put , thank you
DeleteYou are a good dad to all your furry offspring, and a good uncle to your nephew. Biology doesn't make a good parent. Just love and the desire to do your best for them. xx
ReplyDeleteI didn’t realise my own needs only in retrospect
DeleteYes, John, you would have been a wonderful father to a human just as you are a wonderful father to your beloved animals. You are also a wonderful example of being vulnerable and sharing your life openly so others can connect. We all live for that connection. XO
ReplyDeleteWhy have something like this, a journal of sorts without being honest
DeleteIt must be disappointing when your posts are misunderstood or over simplified. Yet we love you and care about your life journey, inept tho our affection may seem.
ReplyDeleteNo, it was my fault for not being clear
DeleteA good friend was heartbroken when her eight year old spaniel died. She said to me “it hurts as much as losing a child, and I know, I have lost a child”.
ReplyDeleteI rush sounding cross when I described it the way I did but it was heartfelt
DeleteThanks for sharing this John.
ReplyDeleteXx you are welcome
DeleteYou definitely would have been a good Dad. Fostering services are desperate for weekend carers, maybe that would be a good fit for you?
ReplyDeleteI’m past it now x
DeleteI have two wonderful sons one of whom single-handedly raised a girl child to become a wonderful young woman . Me ex husband I loved and the best choice for a closeted lesbian, he was also the best father a child could have. My same sex partner , is my most wonderful love though she says I love the dogs more.😂 Each of my loves I love equally but differently
ReplyDeleteYou would have been a great Dad , a dad who knows the depth of love
They (dogs AND cats) are probably our best children.
ReplyDeleteLove the pix of your fur babies. You have been an amazing parent to them all.
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason, it doesn't happen for every human. I remain so grateful that it happened for me. You would have been a better, more natural father than many dads out in the world today. Armed with love and emotional intelligence.
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DeleteYour caring love and compassion are beautiful. Not everybody has that to give.
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DeleteI have three wonderful (grown-up) children, and cannot imagine life without them. I was blessed.
ReplyDeleteFew things lift my heart as readily as witnessing dogs playing with each other, or just trotting along perkily with their owners, tails up. lower jaw hanging open in a happy 'grin'........ the dogs, I mean!
ReplyDeleteMy heart opens for you, John. You may not have had the chance to be a parent, but your compassion and love for humanity shows in everything you do, and is expressed in all it's many forms, a quality, a generosity of spirit, so many people lack. So instead of a child you love freely for all those who need it, animal or human, and in whatever ways that is actioned and expressed. Not everyone can do that, or be that. And everyone you touch appreciates that about you. Love expresses itself in so many ways. And your way is wholehearted, generous and empathetic, spreading and healing wider than for one single soul. My childless by choice daughter and son in law are exactly the same (nurse and surgeon)
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DeleteYorkshire Liz has expressed what I was thinking, much better than I would have expressed it! I would also have loved to be a parent, but the after effects of my traumatic childhood left me too fearful that I would not be up to the task, so I chose not to have children. Better safe than sorry, I guess.
ReplyDeleteNina
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DeleteA tenderness for things which cannot fully fend for themselves, a kindness toward the helpless...that's a gift that the world needs right now. Would that there were more likeminded souls out there. Debby.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved having a dad like you.
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