Going Gently

Guardian

One of the hospice staff snapped this photo today

I feel we have our own set of guardian angels

A Thought

Ever since I can remember when I have been out walking alone, I take into account the presence of single women around me.

I have never “followed” one, consciously I would always cross over a road to pass a lone woman, and I will often lower my eyes, respectfully as I say hello to a stranger when dog walking.

Am I a rarity ?

No I don’t think that I am,

I honestly think that 98% of men are mindful and respectful to women in public but our [ men’s] awareness of women’s discomfort does little to nothing to change the predatory, sexually inappropriate and bullying behaviour some damaged and evil men think is fun or deserving.

All the Vigils and conversations about this subject will not stop these men but efforts to change the justice system relating to the reporting of their behaviours will make a difference in how they are dealt with.

Having said this I found the following observation interesting.

“
Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, "They are afraid women will laugh at them." When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, "We're afraid of being killed."

The Incident Of The Lavender Bath Bomb

Blog reader Donell very kindly sent me a packet of lavender Bath Bombs.

Lavender is calming and soothing and relaxing.

I kept them for tonight’s long, wonderful soak in the bath.

It’s been a nice day all told.

This evening I had a phone call from one of my Friday quiz team members who strange-as-it-would-seem kinda found me attractive.

It was nice to have a flirt.

Anyhow back to the bath bombs

I ran my bath

Threw in two hard as rock bath bombs and prepared myself for a lavender overload.

I must admit as I was pottering around the bathroom , I did say to myself that the odour of lavender wasn’t as strong as I had expected but as the water was steaming hot and inviting , I disrobed and plopped bum first into the bath

RIGHT ON TOP OF TWO MARBLE HARD BATH BOMBS

( no one told me they were wrapped in invisible plastic!)

The other side of the village must of heard the screams, and I clambered out of the tub convinced I was mortally wounded.

With tears in my eyes I could see the packet of lavender bombs on the window ledge

They were described as being “ calming”

Hey ho

Calming ....my arse !

Mozzarella Dippers

This morning nine of my fellow students that had enrolled in “ A brief exploration of Wind in Cinema” met up on zoom for coffee. Several live in London, two are from the states and one lives in Malta.

I am the only Northerner .

By the feel of the conversation most of us live alone ( although rather theatrically one elderly and rather grumpy spouse of a professor type kept shuffling around in the background of his study carrying piles of washing in her arms) and so over the space of nearly two hours we chatted about our favourite films, the recent BAFTA nominations, what film changed your life and the knotty question of Was Hitchcock a real pervert?

All great fun.

The weather deteriorated this afternoon so, after a walk, the dogs and I went up to McDonalds and shared a whole box of mozzarella cheese dippers in complete, joyous silence .

Late Home

The weather was atrocious when I got home

It was 8.30 pm and Albert, who instantly recognises Bluebell’s engine noise was already in the lane yowling his welcome.

He stands on the garden wall and we rub heads.

The rain never seems to bother him.

It’s lovely to have a proper welcome even though the cottage is quiet and cold and dark.

I feed Albert first and in the gloom of the lane street light I light the fire, and minutes later

When I turn my head in the wintery lane the wood smoke flew horizontally towards the church .

Fifty steps later ,when I collected the dogs from Trendy Carol’s Trendy conservatory , I was treated to a socially distanced preview of her newest VERY trendy sofa.

Loved it too.......expensive leather!

I fed the girls and checked my mail ......a council tax bill, a vet bill and a lovely lavender gift from Donell

a kind email from Gentleman Farmer Ralph’s son was waiting to be read too ....Ralph will be leaving his farm for the village graveyard on Friday at noon . In this covid driven world this couldn’t be officially broadcasted but the blog isn’t “official” in the truest sense of the word and I hope the lane may be filled in a socially distant way with villagers wanting to pay their respects .

It’s half nine now.

The cottage is warm and Almost cosy

The slow cooker is bubbling away with another fantastic soup and Dorothy is already asleep on my own trendy sofa

Mary is asleep with me

I’m knackered.

As Damp As An Old Lady’s Gusset

I was asked recently how I felt in myself.

I answered with an honest and somewhat tired “ I feel old” an answer which was countered with a rather judgmental and dismissive “ Thats sad, I know a lot of people your age that feel much more positive”

I said nothing but wanted to yell I bet they weren’t wearing full PPE in a south facing airless ward without air con all morning ! I fucking felt every minute of my 58 years that day, a day when my underpants were as damp and inviting as an old lady’s gusset.

Everyone knows me better than I know myself.

My recent not-so-joyful sojourn into potential ill health hasn’t helped matters, a situation gratefully acknowledged by my colleague a medic.....he said men, don’t cope well with fainting do’s.

I didn’t .........I don’t ....

Well, you would be glad to hear that a plethora of tests are in hand.

A particularly nasty troll turned up anonymously on Going Gently last Sunday to bang on just how much my ex husband wanted rid of me in lieu of a younger and probably healthier replacement and perhaps you can see it’s not been the most positive of weeks when I always supposed to have a spring in my step and a song in my heart,

Again you try acting like Donny Osmond when the trolls whine on, PPE soaks your underpants with no pay rise, even a 1% one is in sight and you think you have a brain tumour!

Ok I was exaggerating about the brain tumour ...but you get the gist.

Today I have been hiding away in my office. It’s very warm and ordered in there and the dogs and Albert love curling up on the little Victorian brass bed behind me.

For an hour I attended a ward meeting on teams and was made to remove Dorothy because of her snoring. ( the shame). My sister called up and weeded and tidied the front garden which was a nice surprise and I made a tasty low calorie bean & barley soup which was thick as wallpaper paste.

I will be eating it until Sunday.

A tidy garden and thick soup pleased me today.

So did my new office chair with is John Lewis comfortable with its castors and adjustable posture hugging upholstered seat in a gentle grey.

It arrived yesterday and I successfully put it together today.

I need a hug today....a long doze inducing hug

I think we all do.......

A Galleon In Full Sail.

Film studies tonight

Yesterday Llandudno was struck by sixty mile an hour gales. The force of the wind on the Great Orme

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Orme) was so strong that many more of the Kashmiri Goats plodded down from it’s heights to see shelter in the gardens and the bus stops of West Shore.

It was my first proper day community nursing on my own.

My sat nav failed, I got lost twice and the spectacle of me changing into PPE behind the hospice car must of made for hilarious viewing in near storm force winds as I tried to control yards of plastic apron which suddenly decided to take flight.

I did indeed look like the proverbial galleon in full sail.

Sheltering from the storm

Today remains stormy but more manageable .

Animal Helper Pat, village Leader Ian and Mrs Trellis stopped by at different times as I was spring cleaning Bluebell. The conversation is still all about Gentleman Farmer Ralph and his funeral.

We all hoped that he will be brought home before the funeral so that we all can line the lane in respect.

All of us promised that we would tell the other if we heard anything more.

Pat asked me about my “ do” on Sunday and I managed to side step the conversation.

I told her that the medical tests are in hand, which they are.

The whole subject, however has upset me, I have to be honest

Anyhow today is Hitchcock studies day and I’ve been cooking a massive concoction of garlic spiced turkey mince with sprouts and potato which is a wonderfully tasty low fat version of corned beef hash, a dinner that will keep me going for days.

I also framed a sweet embroidered blackbird, a work of art bought from a fellow blogger which arrived today and hung it on the art wall. It has a charm all of its own .