As Damp As An Old Lady’s Gusset

I was asked recently how I felt in myself.

I answered with an honest and somewhat tired  “ I feel old” an answer which was countered with a rather judgmental and dismissive “ Thats sad, I know a lot of people your age that feel much more positive”

I said nothing but wanted to yell I bet they weren’t wearing full PPE in a south facing airless ward without air con all morning ! I fucking felt every minute of my 58 years that day, a day when my underpants were as damp and inviting as an old lady’s gusset.

Everyone knows me better than I know myself.

My recent not-so-joyful sojourn into potential ill health hasn’t helped matters, a situation gratefully acknowledged by my colleague a medic.....he said men, don’t cope well with fainting do’s. 

I didn’t .........I don’t ....

Well, you would be glad to hear that a plethora of tests are in hand. 

A particularly nasty troll turned up anonymously on Going Gently last Sunday to bang on just how much my ex husband wanted rid of me in lieu of a younger and probably healthier replacement and perhaps you can see it’s not been the most positive of weeks when I always supposed to have a spring in my step and a song in my heart, 

Again you try acting like Donny Osmond when the trolls whine on, PPE soaks your underpants with no pay rise, even a 1% one is in sight and you think you have a brain tumour! 

Ok I was exaggerating about the brain tumour ...but you get the gist.

Today I have been hiding away in my office. It’s very warm and ordered in there and the dogs and Albert love curling up on the  little Victorian brass bed  behind me.

For an hour I attended a ward meeting on teams and was made to remove Dorothy because of her snoring. ( the shame). My sister called up and weeded and tidied the front garden which was a nice surprise and I made a tasty low calorie bean &  barley soup which was thick as wallpaper paste. 

I will be eating it until Sunday.

A tidy garden and thick soup pleased me today.

So did my new office chair with is John Lewis comfortable with its castors and adjustable posture hugging  upholstered seat in a gentle grey.

It arrived yesterday and I successfully put it together today.

I need a hug today....a long doze inducing hug

I think we all do.......