Strength

 I dont know what shes singing about but boy is she determined 

Sophia

Surreal or what ? Rubber Chickens earlier 

Now for a lovely , rather moving 

Portrait 

I adore this photo

Sophia Loren at 85

Sometimes I really hate being 

But hey let’s embrace our years 

We are Not old 

We are here.....

Bed early tonight, 

 

Rubber Chicken Overload

Today is my single day off this week.

I am on a long day tomorrow, then, thank the lord, I am off work for five long days! 

I have organised things to do each day

Trendy Carol ( still in her Autumnal hues) will have the girls tomorrow

Today I’ve done some Christmas shopping and had an extra sleep and a long bath with Hawaiian Midnight.

The Rubber Chicken was a great success yesterday.

In fact it was too successful as Winnie has not been as excited since she overdosed on workmen when the new kitchen went in and was found eating chicken crisps in the passenger seat of their works van 

She squeezed the friggin life out of it last night, so much so, that I’ve had to ration it from her gummy onslaughts, so sick I was of it screaming around the cottage.

It’s presently cooling off quietly in the only bulldog safe place in the kitchen

 

Puffins and a Rubber Chicken

 

After just 2 hours sleep , I met a friend in McDonalds’ car park for a side by side car chat and coffee.

After that I bought a rubber Chicken at Lidl and squeezed it around the aisles like a badly behaved  toddler

When I got home I brandished it at Trendy Carol ( in her muted winter ensemble ) and Animal Helper Pat as they passed the cottage, neither looked unduly impressed or shocked.

Oh it’s nice not to be working 

I’ve lit the fire and the fairy lights.

I’ve squeezed the chicken at a near hysterical Winnie 

And I’ve hung my latest piece of art

Three bespoke made puffins in flight 

The art wall is now complete  

I’m so happy to be home 

Not Pritti

 Priti Patel is back in the news as her behavior at the home office was said to have breached the rules of Minister’s’ behavior.

I suspect if the likes of Sir Philip Rutnam who resigned describing Patel’s behavior as ‘vicious’, has spoken out then there is no smoke without fire even though Ms Patel has denied all accusations.

In my experience  ( and believe me the NHS is nose to nipple with inadequate managers) the most common bully is one that exists by taking advantage of group situations by “carpet bombing” and brow beating a group of more  “junior staff” in a meeting.

No direct confrontation occurs, which often proves that the protagonist is in fact the weak link in a chain, and so all it usually takes is a calm firm

‘ No I disagree” by one hardy soul present for the bully to be exposed and power to change hands.

This firm and fair” approach works with most bullies, especially when accompanied with a smile but a more robust response may be needed if the bully is more confrontational.

 

Once a few years ago, I was challenged over something by a village bully.

I could have explained my side of the argument  too with a calm, comfortable “No I disagree!”

I chose to half bellow a loud “ Oh do fuck off!!!!!” across the village green before walking away

 

That, as I recall worked very well too

“ You Have To Be Careful with Your Loneliness”

 

So said Neil Horan in an interview with the BBC yesterday.  

A fifty something gay man living in London, he once suffered isolation and loneliness before coming out in the 1980s and is liking those feelings to experiences now under lockdown.

“ You have to be careful with your loneliness...it is a separate illness to say depression and needs to be treated as such”

From I can see there are a myriad of ways people have been coping with months of enforced isolation.

Frazzled Cafe is something a friend of mine has used recently

It is a charity for those who is finding life a challenge at the moment and has the mantra 

“it’s ok NOT to be ok”

Not a counselling service , Frazzled Cafe offers an online zoom service where peer support can be obtained in a large group. Indeed one of its founders comedienne Ruby Wax actually facilitates several of the meetings that can be accessed daily.

I love the innovation and the positivism of such an enterprise at this time where the Office Of National Statistics report that 8% of all adults ( some 4.2 million people ) have reported to always and often lonely.

Mrs Jefferson from her pensioner bungalow rang me the other day to check up on how I was 

I haven’t seen you walking the dogs for a while” she said “ I wanted to check up on you as you live alone”

She lives with a husband with dementia and her call made me a little ashamed that I had not checked on her ( leaving the job to the village street wardens) 

“ Have you found a man yet? “ she finally asked 

I told her I have not

Her grandson is gay and now married 

She’s very gay friendly and wants everyone to be in a gay relationship.

Psychologist Vivian Hill says that “ The decent into winter can be a significant factor how people feel about loneliness” and I get this only too well with night duty recently. Four nights on mean five nights without any significant natural light on my face even though I walk the dogs as soon as I get home 

Under my boffin friend Nigel’s advice I am taking vitamin D daily.

It will boost your immunity he said seriously .

I need to talk to best friend Nu too....I’ve never gone this long without not physically seeing her .

Ten months or so....is too long.

My normal self help areas seem to be shrinking rapidly. Despite the relaxation of the lockdown in Wales the cinemas that are left are mostly closed .

I’ve booked to see a rerun of Uncle Vanya filmed at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London which is showing in the valiant Colwyn Bay Independent Cinema  next week and have five whole days off before my next run of nights where I intend to catch up with a few friends for coffee and walks and just talking in the daylight which hopefully will turn into sunlight.

I’m very mindful that it has rained almost every day for weeks

Another factor which can compound loneliness.

Arnt they fabulous 👍

oh Christmas Tree

 

Oh dear

The Rockefeller Christmas Tree in New York has been erected under beautiful blue winter skies and for some strange reason its a balding and somewhat raggedy affair.

Perhaps it’s a metaphor for 2020

Who knows .

I remember as a child having such a tree.

Bought as an afterthought from the greengrocer on Meliden Road, it was bald and patchy and ever so sad looking, but to my sister and I who bought it, it was an underdog who had to be made the best of.

Bottom branches were literally sellotaped into place. 

The gaps were filled with fairy lights and thick snakes of tinsel and if you squinted long enough the whole finished article looked cheerful enough

Like I said as long as you squinted.

Christmas trees mean different things to different people and we all have our own connections to them.

For me it’s Shelley Winters and the cast of The Poseidon Adventure climbing up that impossibly blue 18 foot monstrosity in my 1970s  childhood but this memory has since been superseded by traditions of Sunday trips to Calver in Derbyshire to pick up the tree for the Sheffield front room.....and  after that various incarnations of the Nutcracker tree, at the ballet

You know the one that grows like a beast when the toys are sleeping.

I haven’t had a tree for a couple of  years. 

I did buy one of those tiny ones that the supermarket sells last year but it was too small to be viable and I planted out into my new back garden. 

It’s still there , bright green and cheerful and still with its battery lights on it

Another metaphor for 2019 perhaps.

On night shifts all week

Bears

After yesterday’s titty talk I thought we’d go all butch today

And why not? , despite protestations from my old friend Nigel, I can do butch

( strange spell check went immediately to bitch rather than butch there)

I received this postcard from Mathew (from Georgia ) this morning

Apparently it’s Ajax by Giovanni Demin 

Mathew said to “Enjoy the beard” 

I will Mathew, I love a man with a beard....

I guess we all have a type .

My first crush was a straight friend in his late teens.

I was a couple of years older

He was built like an American football player and was able to grow a beard not long after sitting his O levels so I’m not surprised I have been attracted to big mature men with easy smiles ever since 

Masculine bearded guys are referred to as bears in the gay world, and in my experience Bears tend to be the most “ sorted” and “ friendly” of all supposed gay subgroups ...if  you have to pigeon hole a group...

I remember going to my first gay pub in Sheffield in the early 1990s which was hosting its regular bear night 

Ten minutes in, I had been asked to dance by a hirsute, broad smiling, rotund Dentist from Penistone called Dominic who was kitted out in a leather harness, that,  thirty five years later Dorothy would sport quite gayly around the lanes of Trelawnyd

Funny old world