Tuesday, 17 November 2020

Bears

After yesterday’s titty talk I thought we’d go all butch today
And why not? , despite protestations from my old friend Nigel, I can do butch
( strange spell check went immediately to bitch rather than butch there)

I received this postcard from Mathew (from Georgia ) this morning
Apparently it’s Ajax by Giovanni Demin 
Mathew said to “Enjoy the beard” 
I will Mathew, I love a man with a beard....
I guess we all have a type .

My first crush was a straight friend in his late teens.
I was a couple of years older
He was built like an American football player and was able to grow a beard not long after sitting his O levels so I’m not surprised I have been attracted to big mature men with easy smiles ever since 

Masculine bearded guys are referred to as bears in the gay world, and in my experience Bears tend to be the most “ sorted” and “ friendly” of all supposed gay subgroups ...if  you have to pigeon hole a group...
I remember going to my first gay pub in Sheffield in the early 1990s which was hosting its regular bear night 
Ten minutes in, I had been asked to dance by a hirsute, broad smiling, rotund Dentist from Penistone called Dominic who was kitted out in a leather harness, that,  thirty five years later Dorothy would sport quite gayly around the lanes of Trelawnyd

Funny old world






84 comments:

  1. You like a man's man John-Perhaps Dorothy will find him for you.I have always preferred men with dark hair and skin and oddly need a doggy friend with wavy black hair that I explain to myself is my familiar-first black one for 17 years,next for 13 and now another even larger one x

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    1. I don’t think it’s a mans man I like, that implies one who is not in touch with his softer side. I like a man with self awareness !
      Well I’d like one with self awareness

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    3. That's very festive of you Mavis-cooked until tender and quite moist x

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    4. Anonymous9:47 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    5. That is a strange conclusion to make as I have been told by several people who know me that I'm bullied for being dainty and far too polite

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  3. I love a hairy man too.

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  4. Same here. Beards for me.

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  5. I remember very fondly my first bear encounter. I went to see my friend at the glamping grounds I go to in the summer... and it was a bear themed weekend. I was only going to see my friend. That night I got pinned between two lovable bears, a couple, who said they were going to collar me and take me home!!!!! They didn't have an open relationship, but were just jolly fun guys. Were still friends to this day now. While I'm not a bear, there now my favorite weekends up there at the camp.

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    1. Yes you have summed up my experience of friendly good humour
      I know which is a generalisation. But it sticks

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  6. A guy I used to perform with (maybe still will after the pandemic) is a darling bear who goes by Panda. He & his husband are the most genuine friends ever.

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  7. I used to walk past a pub on the Fulham Road where everyone spilled out onto the pavement. It was frequented 100% by leather and chains clad gay men of your 'bear' ilk. It was like the biker from The village People multiplied by several hundred.

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    1. The Coleherne Pub in Earls Court was, of course, THE most renowned of all leather bars in London, if not in the entire country - with 'scenery' just as you describe. I used to frequent it on my regular visits when living in Oxford and even more often when I lived in west London for a couple of years, 91-93. But that was then. It's long since closed - become a restaurant, I think. Maybe its former 'business' clientele has transferred to the one you refer to. I'm so out of touch with the 'scene' now. [Sigh!]

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    2. There is a bear pub in soho too , but I forget it’s name

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    3. In fact I think it was The Coleherne... my geography of London is getting poor. I used to walk past the pub' en route to my flat in Fulham.

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  8. Your type of bears are some of the handsomest, most attractive men I've ever seen. As for the animal kind, I'm terrified of them - I nearly didn't read your post at all lol

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    Replies
    1. Indeed, there is something about friendly masculine guys ...

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  9. Replies
    1. I just dont like them.

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    2. I don't like beards, either! I ended up being allergic to my ex's beard and chest hair ... he always had a moustache and I was OK with that!
      I believe it was because my Dad, when he had a stubble of a beard, would "whisker" me ... rubbing that stubble on my cheeks and turning them red and sore! He thought it was funny ... I hated it!!

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    3. Anonymous12:06 am

      Rachel, you appear to me to dislike a great deal of things in this world

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  10. They are attractive to unsuspecting women, too...if you like beards!

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  11. Some beards tickle more than others!

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  12. Went on a cruise a couple of years ago, the Arno bears were onboard. Never seen so many bears and otters in budgie smugglers.

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    Replies
    1. Budgi smugglers should be banned

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    2. Anonymous1:50 pm

      But not if Daniel Craigs wearing them John!

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    3. True ....those lovely blue shorts

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  13. Bears make the biggest bitches whilst alluding to butchness.

    You are not in any way butch, merely a grubby country girl who sports a beard. MWAH.

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    Replies
    1. “ A grubby country girl “

      Now

      There’s the title of the new book

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    2. You're very welcome darling x

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  14. I never thought of Ajax as a bear! But I guess he is.

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  15. Interesting that you describe bears as being the most friendly of all within gay circles. You may well be right, though my experiences with guys other than bears has been rather limited. All I know is that I've found a range of guys within that scene, a preponderance being of those who, under a superficial cordiality, were after only one thing, and when they got it were often, though not always, just as eager to ditch one. Perhaps that was just the effect I had on them. I'd like to think that my experiences weren't typical. However, I'm absolutely with you in finding such man-bears the most physically attractive of all gay male types.

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    1. I think bears generally ( and we are talking generally here...there is always exceptions) and more friendly because they are not as image conscious .....
      Who knows
      Who cares

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    2. Ray, we're all supposed to be slags who can sashay away with a flick of the hair and a look of disdain.

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    3. Bet you sashay beautifully x

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  16. Have you noticed that it's usually the bearded guys on First Dates that end up becoming a couple and in one case marrying. They just seem so comfortable in their own skins. Mind you I think anyone that is comfortable to be themselves is more attractive to other people, you literally get what you see and can ... in most cases ... believe what you are told.

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    1. I wonder if that’s true x

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    2. @john - it is in my case. I am me and comfortable in that, and people can either like me or hate me. the haters can sod off!

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    3. Anonymous12:05 am

      I suspect there are many more in the "Hate" group

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  17. Anonymous1:06 pm

    Remember that advert ' 9 out of 10 pussies prefer Whiskas' well this one def doesn't!
    Nigel Havers lookalike floats my boat anyday
    Tess xx

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    1. Anonymous1:54 pm

      Nigel Havers? I nearly fell off my perch laughing.

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    2. Well horses for courses

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  18. I was wondering how you had heard that Aussie expression " Bears " but I see from you explanation that you meant something quite different.
    " Bears " is the shortened version of
    Stick your head up a dead bear's bum !

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  19. Anonymous1:57 pm

    If a Bear is a masculine gay what is the equivalent name for a feminine gay?

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    Replies
    1. Most any of the insults thrown about gay men generally. In gay circles they're most usually referred to as femmes.

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    2. I bow to mave’s experience and seniority

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    3. I am younger and less wrinkled than John. Seniority is based purely on the number of lovers I have had, although John you have been a reet slag of late x

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    4. Anonymous10:08 pm

      Thanks for your reply Mavis. From your photo it's hard to see whether you're wrinkled or not however you do have an attractive although perhaps mischievous face, with lovely smiley eyes. From appearances a kind person.

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    5. John will confirm I am fucking gorgeous. So much so that I make his gusset moist.

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    6. Yeap quite definitely

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  20. Who doesn't love a bear?

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    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    2. Your comments are not welcome here.
      You clearly understand this and clearly ignore instructions

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    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    4. Anonymous11:31 pm

      Gagged again Ursula
      I do not know just why you bother

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  21. I frequently wonder if bears are more well-adjusted than other gay men because they are affable and can rather easily operate in straight society? Their largeness and hairiness is interpreted as masculine, so they fit in better, as less susceptible to the bullying that feminine gays or slight built gays are subject to. Bears rarely develop a chip on their shoulder. That is what I have found. Where as the rest of the gay community seems to demonstrate a bit of scarring - the walking wounded. Just a thought. Generalization, of course, but... an interesting thought. I quite like being among bears because of the lack of angst. They don't have the body issues that the rest of gay society seem to have. They are more likely to be genuinely nice guys with a healthy sense of humor about themselves. Thanks for sharing this. Interesting.

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    1. An interesting take
      Could it be a maturity thing ?

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    2. I know plenty of bears with hang ups. I for one own my fair share of them. However giving less of a fuck what others think has come with maturity and experience.

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  22. I LOVES BEARS! many of my blog friends are bears. they are the best friends I have ever had. they don't ask me to be something I am not. they love me for just being me.

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  23. Barbara Anne3:13 pm

    Live and learn! I'd never heard the term "bears" used in this context, but can see it fits. Hope you find a charming self aware bear who is worthy of you.

    Hugs!

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  24. That photo got me going, though.
    Yum a musclebear with facial hair and some girth. Gimme.

    XOXO

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  25. Anonymous4:21 pm

    baby boomers are going to get abused and treated like garbage in the retirement homes. Maybe you boomers shouldn't have been so selfish and arrogant and greedy. Literally everyone hates baby boomers now. Enjoy those retirement homes, and good luck, boomers!

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  26. Bears just want to have fun, and be comfortable in their own skin.

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  28. Not keen on beards. If I were gay, I'd go for someone like Pharrell Williams.

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  29. I lurve Teddy Pendergrass but sadly he is no longer with us xx

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  30. Thinking back, I don't think I've met a bear. They sound like great people. For about a year, I did live with a guy with a beard, red at that. In the end, I decided to pursue a career opportunity and he decided to circumnavigate the world.

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