Solo

I know I said I'm not posting anything until Monday but this , I think deserves a brief mention.
From today I'm back working in the hospice inpatients and am working long days until Monday
My allocated patients were all new to me and so a support worker was filling me in with some background info
One patient, a quiet and cultured man, was a musician and the support worker asked me if I thought it was a good idea to offer him some time out to play the small piano tucked away in our hospice chapel
Of course I agreed.
The patient was thrilled And after some brief shenanigans with a wheelchair and urine bag tubing we set him up in front of the keys and left him alone......
Moments later, from the silence of the chapel and with several of the nursing staff leaning against walls and down corridors
We quietly listened to him playing this........
Quite beautifully

Friday

I will return on Monday 

Summerland

Arterton and Gugu Mbatha Raw

The Brits are brilliant at making wartime whimsy movies
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Society was a real winner recently and following close on its heels and with a similar heroine and cast in tow is the gentle Summerland 

Shrieking wartime shabby chic Gemma Arterton plays Alice, a bad tempered single writer of books who explore and discounts folklore and myths. Alice lives in the most beautiful cottage overlooking the Kent white cliffs, is mean to children who refer to her as a witch and lives to write. Unfortunately a young boy Frank, (Lucas Bond) is billeted with her from his London home and their initially prickly relationship rekindles past memories of a failed lesbian affair Alice had in the 1920s.

Crusty writer, lonely boy, angry villagers.....the whole movie isn't original by any means, and in actual fact the movie looks as though it is shot from one field over looking the most impressive of the Dover Cliffs but in Arterton's sensitive hands this is a charming tale of lost love and longing

I loved the powerful little scene when over dinner one night Frank innocently guesses that Alice's past love was a woman.
"Would it bother you if I say you were right?"  Alice asks tentatively 
And when the little boy replies honesty No
Her pure emotional release literally breaks your heart in its intensity.

Unlike The Guernsey Potato Pie etc Summerland has a small supporting cast which do very little
Tom Courtney turns up as the blustering local schoolmaster and Sian Philips ( I thought she had died) plays a local grandmother who played the moral high ground card.

If  you want a bit of light whimsy which will make you cry , go and see Summerland 
Arterton and Kent , has never looked better 

The Shrimp Vase and other thoughts .....

I had a lovely day yesterday.
I met up with my date and we had lunch out , ice cream on the beach and a mooch which resulted in him buying a load of bedding from a lovely Asian shopkeeper  and me buying a robust vase with a design of a shrimp on its side!
I also decided that my date and I would remain as firm friends rather than anything more hazy or nebulous which is a decision I am happy about .
Gay men in their fifties can be complicated beasts and contrary to belief I'm not fickle or complicated at all but I think I do read people well and certain phrases and words and deeds jump out to remind you where you stand .
Once furnished with this information, it cannot be ignored .

I once let a friendship lapse after receiving a belated birthday gift of some garage flowers . The quality of the gift was not the issue, what underlined the death knell of the friendship was the lack of thought about the gift , something that was very evident in a relationship previously based on kindness and thoughtfulness.

Of course situations are much more complicated than I describe but the main messages hidden away can be plain and simple to read if you have the emotional intelligence to understand the cues

I am suddenly reminded of my former mother in law here, who when I informed her that I was marrying her son on such a date, remarked that she had a nice red dress which would do!
The would do comment may have been lost to many, but not to me .
Would do underlined her opposition to the marriage which only truly showed itself in later more unhappier times.

Dating in your fifties is an odd experience for on the surface it is no different that dating in your twenties and thirties .
But of course it is different
We all have baggage in our fifties ,we all know what we do want and certainly what we don't want.
And In my case, I think I read situations much better than I did in my salad days

And so I have a new gay mate that I get on with, how good is that?
I was sharing a fantasy of travelling to Japan yesterday afternoon and he suggested that he would like to go too
" Absolutely !" I agreed
Looking out to sea, where the azure water of Llandudno bay met the sky

An afternoon at the seaside

How are you today?

Thoreau is famously quoted as saying" The Mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation "
I disagree with this generalisation and always have done because I think that the people who may agree with it may be the pessimists, the depressives, the unhappy, the more thwarted of life.

Personally I think most people plod along with things in a similar way as animals do . The normal joys and the disappointments life bringing , more colour and texture
I know I plod.......and I know my emotional pendulum swings generally towards the optimistic view of the world rather than the negative.
So I think I am luckier than most.

I also reward myself with things and company and positives, something many don't do 
Today I've booked myself a ticket to see Summerland as well as buying myself some cheerful sunflowers
Yesterday it was a stupid toy and the company of work friends

Summerland

How are you today?
Where does your emotional pendulum swing?

Chameleon

On Friday I collected prints and paintings bought a while ago before lockdown .
They have been framed and hung in the cottage alongside the drawing by Monika's daughter
The whole personality of the cottage has changed over the last two years
It's mine now
I took the opportunity to go shopping and went to Waterstones to look and smell the books.
And saw something I bought on impulse
Not a book,
Not stationary, pens or magazines
But a Chameleon
A cheefully stuffed chameleon with odd eyes
I'm fucking 58 !
He's now sat beneath my art wall,
swinging his leg at a Jaunty angle
And smiling his odd smile at the world

What's all this about?

Masks

 Strange as it would seem Dorothy seems to enjoy wearing her face mask
It smells of me that why I think she feels comfortable in it mind you ...bulldogs generally don't mind dressing up at all.
It's a breed quirk!!
After work I was called around to Polish Monika's house to check a chicken who is suffering from Bumble Foot. I wore gloves and a mask , something Monika's daughter captured quite well as she watched me from her drawing spot at the kitchen table.

She gave me her drawing as a thank you for coming round
I felt awful
I think the hens not going to make it