Thoreau is famously quoted as saying" The Mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation "
I disagree with this generalisation and always have done because I think that the people who may agree with it may be the pessimists, the depressives, the unhappy, the more thwarted of life.
Personally I think most people plod along with things in a similar way as animals do . The normal joys and the disappointments life bringing , more colour and texture
I know I plod.......and I know my emotional pendulum swings generally towards the optimistic view of the world rather than the negative.
So I think I am luckier than most.
I also reward myself with things and company and positives, something many don't do
Today I've booked myself a ticket to see Summerland as well as buying myself some cheerful sunflowers
Yesterday it was a stupid toy and the company of work friends
Summerland
How are you today?
Where does your emotional pendulum swing?
I'm really good, thank you for asking. You are the third person today to ask and I've said the same to them too.
ReplyDeleteNo point being depressed when alone better to be positive and hopeful
I get that , if you are depressed when alone , no one sees it
DeleteOh my lord. First comment?
ReplyDeleteI'm good today. Hugely pregnant and tired. Sometimes depressed and worried the future and the state of my country. Have cultivated the habit of finding the small joys everyday. Without it life will crush you.
Well said, I totally agree pile up the small niceties and the bad stuff is out numbered
DeleteI’m great. Maybe a bit worried about covid, but mostly happily optimistic about life. I live in an area that has, so far, a low infection rate, but I’m careful when I have to leave our place. We have animals, enough food, and are fucking lucky with whay we have.
ReplyDeleteOoooh potty mouth, I love it
DeleteI think I'm like you. While I may have "one of those days," for the most part I am a positive person and tend to think of the things in life that bring me joy.
ReplyDeleteYes I've had a " of of those days " last weekend
DeleteI was foul
today we are experiencing the aftermath of hurricane isaias. just rain. this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your sunflowers. and the flamingo. and the art prints.
I rather feel like my 3 cats today; nothing bothers me. in fact, it takes a LOT to get me stirred up into a tempest. and when I get that way, look the fuck out because I WILL shit all over you and scratch your eyes out!
I've seen u in action AM dearheart x
DeleteI'm naturally pessimistic, however that enables me to take joy from simple things whilst feeling prepared for the next catastrophe. Today I cut roses right back due to a bad case of mildew. They still have time for further flowering before the winter months.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair mave you have had quite a great deal of shit to deal with
DeleteI'm feeling depressed and kind of numb. Our beautiful 13 year old dog is dying, and we have her at home trying to make her last days as pleasant and peaceful as possible. But it's so hard. At least I haven't cried (yet) today. The past 3 days I cried buckets, more tears than I've shed in several years all put together. I know you understand, John.
ReplyDeleteBeen there, cried buckets. My grandma used to say "Tears show clear what the heart holds dear." So true.
DeleteBig hugs!
I understand that too. Many buckets have been shed.
DeleteI do Jennifer,
DeleteYou've given your hear to that dog to tear "
May Love surround You and your precious Dog xx
DeleteI'm very well today thank you. I'm standing upright and taking in air.....so that's a good thing. And looking at your lovely sunflowers has brought a smile to my face.
ReplyDelete4£. Cheap joy !!!! CHEAP JOY
DeleteAs a side note to Jennifer, so sorry about your dog. Our pets are like family and it can be very hard sometimes and it takes our hearts so long to heal after losing our loved ones whether they're on 2 legs or 4.
ReplyDeleteNot brilliant today. My mum was admitted to hospital yesterday and has Covid 19.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this Scarlet, I do hope she gets better soon. She is in safe hands. Take care. xx
DeleteOh, no! Wishing your mom well, really WELL and hope she's already getting better.
DeleteBig hugs!
Yes so sorry Scarlett let us know what happens x
DeleteThis personage isn't too bad today, but just taken a knock from annual visit to opticians, already aware myself that the old eyesight is noticeably deteriorating 'cos of encroaching cataracts in both eyes - I'm nearly mid-70s for Heaven's sake. Recommendation - new contacts [plus spare pair] + new specs for indoor use, mainly watching telly + playing on computer, plus for first time, reading specs recommended. Total 'damage' £420 - and that's WITH my being in their saving scheme. Aieeee-ay-ay!
ReplyDeleteTold can hold off just onw year before strongly advised cataract operations. Oh, so much F-U-N to come!
So there you are - and thankful that I've never been a depression-prone sort of person, which may be something to do with my pervasive melancholia acting as a kind of 'cushion' to prevent my sinking any further down.
So there you are. You got to just get on with life, whatever it serves you, and make the best of it.
Let me assure you ... cataract surgery is a walk in the park! I've had both eyes done and I have had a total of 5 surgeries on my right eye ... the last one being the easiest and was the cataract surgery! Don't be afraid to get them taken care of when the time comes! 🤓 Yes, I still have to wear glasses! Ugh!
DeleteA few people I know have had cataract ops - all have had excellent, speedy results.
DeleteI've had both eyes done as has DH and it was simple, quick, and fairly painless. Since you must get new glasses/contacts about 6 weeks after cataract surgery, why get them now? Just 'sayin.
DeleteAgree cataract surgery is easy peasey...way better than a root canal.
DeleteI was fed up with an early on set cataract and paid to have it done privately...good money well spent
Aunty head had hers done and so did oat animal Helper to great sucess xx
DeleteVery many thanks to all of you above who've offered words of reassurance. I gathered that things have got a lot better than they used to be. My mum had one eye successfully done when she was in her eighties [she died before they could do the other one].
DeleteAbout 40 years ago or less it used to be scary when being warned that, during the procedure, whatever you do, do NOT blink - and you had to hold it for quite some minutes. I don't know how things have improved since then - I imagine they have - but I would have thought that there'd be some kind of contraption to hold your eye open like was done to Alex in 'Clockwork Orange'. At least that's what I'm hoping for.
As for waiting for new contacts until after I've had the operation done, it's just not on. I need to be able to see at something approaching to normality during this next year that I'm waiting.
I'am an optimistic person married to a pessimist for 30 years... and let me tell you that pessimist can bring me down sometimes but i kinda refuse to surrender to it you know and that has somehow made me a stronger optimist and i like to think my optimism has lightened his load now and then and made him pause think about things in a different light.. i like to think we help each other out... we compliment each other.... Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteI get that
DeleteThere are studies that show that a good percentage of happiness is genetic. If that is true, I think I was born with a bit lower on the scale than average. I still have to wake and make a choice of where my thoughts go....positive>negative.
ReplyDeleteI keep on working at it.
Oh lord. My grandparents were happy
DeleteMy parents less so
I feel a bit happier now hubby has finished some essential plumbing , he is a pessimist so he is all ready expecting it to go wrong I am an optimist expecting it to be all right .
ReplyDeleteI think that about sums up 40 years of marriage lol
I envy u x
Delete"I know I plod.......and I know my emotional pendulum swings generally towards the optimistic view of the world rather than the negative." John, you may say that you are luckier than most but I see you cultivating happiness by all the things you do including your service to others, your cooking, bringing beauty into your home with flowers and food, awareness of the simple pleasures. You ask, how are you today? Thanks for asking. I feel alive and well and greet the day with anticipation. My pendulum tends to swing towards optimism but there are certainly days when I have to work at it. I've come to realize that I'm needing some R&R on those days. I've learned to give myself permission to engage in self-care. I practice gratitude for the newly canned beans on the counter, the blooming lilies, the rain overnight, the fresh coolness of the morning during these hot Aug days. I'm reminded of Veronica Shoffstall's "After A While" - ...plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." You decorate your own soul and I strive for that.
ReplyDeleteMona
DeleteThank you for reflecting that
Making your own pleasures is vital, I have found
Content. I always think of optimists as expecting something to turn up. I'm more inclined to accept what is - or do something about it!
ReplyDeleteMaking it happen
DeleteThat's the ticket
I am very well thank you. xx
ReplyDeleteI was going to go out for a drive, then a walk but the day is grey and I am cosy and warm here at the Van so I may just stay in, curl up with Suky and a big mug of coffee and sink into an old and familiar film.
Yes, that sounds like a much better idea.
Take care. xx
What did you watch?
DeleteI watched 'Wild', the Cheryl Strayed story of her walk along the Pacific Crest Trail. Only the third time of watching, but it's a lovely film, you can relax into the scenery and the touch of Simon and Garfunkel that plays throughout it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTrying desperately to remain 'up' while the 'downs' are pulling at me.
ReplyDeleteAre you winning?
DeleteI'm good thanks John. Been busy at the allotment the past two days, so aching slightly. Our daughter's dogs behaved lunchtime when I walked them! My husband went out to lunch with his MX buddy who has been shielding so they had a good chat.
ReplyDeleteFavourite saying is 'it is what it is' I am generally an optimistic person. Family are sometimes a worry, 2 working in the travel industry, daughter about to sell her house after a divorce. But I'm sure things will work out. Glass half full.
I've used that saying but to be honest I've never really understood just what it means
DeleteI'm Happy if I'm with my dogs and they make quite sure to keep me occupied.Otherwise I can become overwhelmed by certain humans x
ReplyDeleteGot you on that one
DeletePlodding along and quiet desperation seem like more or less the same thing, expressed differently.
ReplyDeleteYour photo is like a Dutch painting. And sunflowers are so hard to arrange attractively, yet you did it.
love
lizzy
I think I disagree
DeleteBut then asa hopeful optimist I would
It wasn't a stupid toy. It says much about the colourful change you have achieved in home and life. I wonder if naturally kind and empathetic people are so busy picking up on cues from others they forget to listen to their own need for a small kindness. I have recently discovered the joy of small treats, such fun!
ReplyDeleteSue
DeleteI get what you say!
Empaths' roles are to care for others often accepting that the payoff is only the good feelings that gives them
Their very own needsare often lost
My emotional pendulum is kind of stuck at plodding for the moment. But I do my best to take joy from the beautiful surroundings I live in, here in the Appalachians. The drive into work this morning was magical, with light fog rising between the ridges illuminated by the recently-risen sun. Thanks for making me remember that!
ReplyDeleteNicely written Alison x
DeleteI love your "stupid" toy but I'd call it whimsical. I find myself swinging between elation and quiet hysteria. After living here for 32 years, 19 of the by myself, I took the financially-necessitated plunge and put it on the market. First person to come see bought it and wants possession in a month. So I'm excited, terrified, unsure of the future but intrigued. No more shady pines for me!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting!!!!
DeleteI'm feeling great thank you John. I have started exercising, drinking less wine and am doing well. The field behind our house has been harvested and it's been wonderful watching the process and the bailing. Geece have been flying over the field which is a joy to watch.
ReplyDeleteI got furious about something but can deal with it !
I'm losing weight which helps too
DeleteLove the sunflowers!
ReplyDeleteAnd I think I tend to look for the silver lining most times. And there’s not such thing as a toy being stupid. Silly? Maybe. Stupid? Never.
XoXo
I don't deal with rejection very well ....but give it time
DeleteI am well ... I am reasonably happy ... looking forward to having my lunch pretty soon! Thanks for asking!!
ReplyDeleteI can see you are doing well ... staying well ... living life safely and yet getting on with your daily routines ... wearing your masks!! And, continuing to being kind ... so very important to be kind!
Yes that's one thing I have learned since my separation
DeleteBeing kind is about actions and good deeds
Nice is just nothing
On Thoreau John. He was a 19th century man - and to be fair to him a lot of people back then did live the life he described; it would have been enough to put bread on the table. His quote may have less meaning now, at least for some in the West. Thoreau was a Transcendentalist - he believed in the inherent goodness of people and nature and that people are best when self-reliant and independent. Now, don't get me started on salutogenesis...
ReplyDeleteYes , P
DeleteI get that , it's just, that the saying is quoted so much about our modern existence which doesn't compare
If I was any better I'd have to be twins. I tend to lean to the happy side, it's much easier on the blood pressure. I just finished lidding jars of carrot marmalade made from my own crop and they are glowing golden in the sunshine from the window. Thanks for asking. Love your blog. Take care, stay well.
ReplyDeleteYou too Norma x
DeleteI'm feeling jubilant, thank you, as Isaias stayed far enough east of us that all we got was a lot of rain. Today is sunny instead of the day full of thunderstorms that had been forecast.
ReplyDeleteI, too, try to look on the bright side (yeah, ta tum ta tum te dum de dum de dum) but the annoyance of lupus fatigue sometimes brings me down a bit.
Love the sunflowers!
Hugs!
Yes chin up babs
DeleteI am a glass half full and I am okay thank you for asking. We were thinking about retirement and have used these recent times as practice and feel we be okay. Also two years ago bought a classic car for fun and recently sold it for what we paid for it (lets gloss over what we spent on it) and have now bought a sensible and practical car for the same amount of money so it feels like we have switched a very old car for a newer car and we are really happy about that. It may not seem a big thing but it has lifted us both. Definitely have to make the most of all the positives.
ReplyDeleteI miss being part of a couple
DeleteBut it doesnt overwhelm me as it used to do
I'm cool and happy thank you.
ReplyDeleteGood my friend x
DeleteI am basically a contented person, no real highs or lows. I do get anxious over some things, but not usually worried or down. My default setting is contented. Is that different from happy? I'm fine with that.
ReplyDeleteI think you are a good example for others of knowing and caring for your own feelings and needs.
Yes contented to me is the fall back to being normal
DeleteBeing happy 24/7 would beexhausing and bizarre
I am feeling somewhat positive today. I seem to be a "Don't know what you've got til it's gone" sort of person, unaware of all the blessings in my life. Too busy worrying about crap that doesn't matter and then something dreadful happens and I am forced to sit back and realize what I have and did not enjoy. I would really love to be able to appreciate life as I am living it, but at 58 years of age it is difficult to change ones perspective and habits. My head is always in the past or the future. I tend to be optimistic about the future, if that counts for anything! I think the chameleon is delightful.
ReplyDeleteLori
DeletePleasing yourself and rewarding yourself is a hard lesson for many to learn
I'm ok thank you. A bit fed up today as our weather is very depresssing - its rained all day here today, looking out its like October not August, but I'm warm and cosy in my house and I have enough of everything I need so life is good. I'm plodding along. x
ReplyDelete👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
DeleteMy emotional pendulum swings against my inner thighs.
ReplyDeleteAye up lass....the perve is back :)
DeleteMany people have visited The Cerne Abbas Giant over the years and he is not known as"a perve"but affectionately by some"rude man"-there is a shop close by where various souvenirs can be purchased of him-I have a tasteful wall clock x
DeleteThere are always some children in the class who enjoy smut x
DeleteHiya Smut!
DeleteI am not a depressive. I had a breakdown when I was in my early twenties but once I recovered I have gone from strength to strength. Now at my age I live each day as it comes - there is no time left to be depressed. Folk like you cheer me up in Blogland anyway.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that pat.
DeleteAs you know I had a very low point 18 months ago
Complaining about a family Christmas nite out made me realise just how destructive my low mood had become
No husband, no partner, no drama. Went to tee room today and got a huge scone and ate the whole thing with nobody yammering at me about calories. It’s all good!!
ReplyDeletePatty
Patty
DeleteSuccinctly put . And nicely described
I am just happy to be alive, fit and well and able to enjoy simple pleasures. When things start to p*** me off I just sit and look at the view out o8f the window to cheer myself up xx
ReplyDeleteI did that recently didn't I when I was bemoaning the state of my bathroom
Deletemy bipolar daughter lives with me and can be very, very negative at times over almost everything. So, I have to try to be very positive for 2 people (her and I) and sometimes it works. It is wonderful when it does.
ReplyDeleteNegativity is always most heavy when it's someone else's shit!
DeleteI am usually a level mooded person, going through life pretty happy. Love my little family, job's ok although would like to retire but not a problem. I'm glad you are making your home yours again and love the sunflowers x
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like contentment to me
Delete"Quiet desperation" does sound a bit extreme, doesn't it? I suppose he meant that people have a lot of day-to-day worries that could be jettisoned if we got back to a simpler way of life...?
ReplyDeleteSteve, lockdown has made many things simpler don't you think
DeleteWith that asshat in the White House my desperation is no longer quiet.
ReplyDeleteHe can't last that long. I hear his disastrous interview with the Australian journalist , magic radio
DeleteThank you for asking. I muddle along. I often feel tired and overwhelmed but being a beauty addict shifts my focus.
ReplyDeleteBeauty addict? What's that??
DeleteI am very upbeat whilst in the midst of a major life (and death) event. I am arranging end of life care for my 96 year old mother who is also unusually upbeat. She is happy with the life she's lived and happy that she gets to die her own way.
ReplyDeleteI've always felt that we are dying the minute we're born and every morning we get to wake up to a new day is a gift. I'm sure sad moments are on the horizon but we are celebrating this time we have now.
Mimi
A good lession mimi , most of us let the shit overwhelm us
DeleteI've had a great day of gardening and dog walking, hope your day was good too! x
ReplyDeleteQuiet ...dog walking , chores, a doze, eating potato salad
DeleteSounds like a peaceful day x
DeleteHi John,
ReplyDeleteMy pendulum swings back and forth. I try hard to be optimistic though. I have been through a lot in my life that has brought me down, but I've always managed to get back up again!
Yes getting up again is a good habit
DeleteHunkered down because of 40mph wind gusts and sideways rain... thankyou for asking. Feeling ok but concerned, Pirate has a health problem which is pulling him down. It will be better when we know what it is.
ReplyDeleteThe sunflowers are lovely, gives us all hope.
Our pendulum will swing up again.
Sending you and everyone here
DeleteA virtual sunflower
Thank you for asking. Today was pretty crap. Parkinsons got the better of me.... poor speech, not able to move much, too weak to hold my baby grand daughter. But it was also good I ordered my moms online shop, saw my son and his family, played with the baby and ate some takeaway with my husband. And I am alive and tomorrow is another day. Hope you are well. 😊
ReplyDeleteThe knotty subject of health is important to talk about here.....your health is everything, especially when you are single
DeleteI feel I have lived a life of always fighting for survival and plodding as you say. I love that you reward yourself. I need to learn to do that.
ReplyDeleteDo it tomorrow and tell me what you have done please
DeleteI'm pretty good, I plod along but lean to the content side. There have been times of desperation but it's not a default. I'm not great at rewarding myself, except with food, which has not served me well!
ReplyDeleteYes me too good and drink...
DeleteNow it's Flowers, art and stuffed toys lol
I am normally on an even keel plodding along most days and the other days feel fed up and angry. Never happy. Sunflowers are one of my favourites.
ReplyDeleteHonest Joan
DeleteThank u
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSending Manly hugs Andrew
DeleteI hope you don't mind
Received with thanks
DeleteI'm ok. Some of me seems to be missing tho.
ReplyDeleteSome days you’re the windshield; some days you’re the bug. Today I am the bug. 🐜
ReplyDeleteHugs
DeleteThanks for asking John, I was there when a baby Hummingbird left the nest I sat and watched her spread her wings and found a branch, and then mom came and fed her, this went on 5 more times and with encouragement from the mom she finally left, nature always makes me
ReplyDeletehappy.
I feel very lonely and down. I am exhausted by my role of long term carer for someone I love deeply, I live with someone else who has cancer and is not going to get better. I have to keep going and keep going, I can't even look after myself properly yet I have to try to present a cheery front to the world because otherwise people are uncomfortable with my raw emotions.
ReplyDeleteIf your loved one and the one who has cancer qualify for hospice care at home, here in Virginia, USA, every 4 months the family can have the patient(s) admitted for "respite care" for 4 days and 5 nights. This allow us to have time away from the constant care of my FIL in his last months. Perhaps the family benefits of hospice in your area are the same? You do need to take good care of yourself, too.
DeleteHugs!
Hi hillybean, so brave to drop your cheery mask for a second And post your comment. I can see you, behind the mask. You are a truly caring person. I hope there will be more opportunities to let your mask down. Lots of love
DeleteSupport Is here x
DeleteHi Hilly, thinking of you. X
DeleteHi Hillybean. You are not alone....if that can make you feel any better. take care.
DeleteThanks for asking John, I have been a bit out of sorts for the last 10 or so days not feeling totally well but not unwell enough to not work. I felt like I had been poisoned or something, but I couldn't put my finger on it exactly. But as of this Monday gone I tried a new supplement in liquid form and boy I am now firing on all cylinders so I am very upbeat at the moment. Usually though I am on the positive side and not the negative. But a few health issues can dampen the spirits somewhat.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Health is almost everything
DeleteLuckily I was born happy, and that has continued. My mood only changes if I encounter some idiot who does their best to annoy me.
ReplyDeleteToys are never stupid, if they make you happy. I am generally positive and believe the best will happen, kind of hard with this virus around at present in Aus.
ReplyDeleteI believe all emotions are equally valid, or else evolution would have rendered them extinct by now. Obviously, I'd rather be happy than sad or angry, but if I AM sad or angry, it's my honest (if not always proportionally rational) response to incoming stimuli.
ReplyDeleteAs for those who believe a person should always be happy no matter what horrors life throws at them, there are certain pharmaceuticals that may make that achievable...
What Thoreau wrote about "quiet desperation" was actually his critique of civilization. He felt that trying to conform to the expectations of society may put a person down in the dumps. The cure? Escape society. If there's anyone who believed in social distancing, it was Henry David Thoreau.
Finally, to answer your question, I am in a state of equanimity.
I'm glad
DeleteI probably lean more toward Thoreau' take in general. Right now, I'm OK... working on being better... feeling a bit of that quiet desperation.
ReplyDeleteI am usually quite a happy person but terrible recent events have got me down - right down in the dumps and thoroughly upset. 'One day at a time' is my motto at the moment.
ReplyDeleteGetting ready to head out for my morning walk, something I do to be good to myself, this afternoon I get to do one of my favorite parts of work. Life is not what happens, it is how I respond to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting the sunflowers, John.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing exactly wrong with me - I'm just really fed up with the whole Covid business. But your bright happy flowers cheered me immensely.
I also disagree with Thoreau. We each have a choice, in my view, quiet desperation is not an option. Stay safe and be well. Enjoy all life's pleasures. That's how I roll.
ReplyDeleteI have always tried to take the lighter more positive 'road' in life. And for the most part this attitude has served me well. I think I must have taught myself to do this as a very young child mainly due my surroundings being very negative and sad at times......circumstances that my parents were not aware of the impact on their children. They did as best they could with what they had.
ReplyDeleteSo finding the positive in EVERY situation was important to me. I do feel, though, that 'we' are in the minority, John. Most people I have found to be very uncommitted or outright negative.
I believe in a giving heart
ReplyDeleteand also
I can never ever do enough for myself
so I keep on doing, being, and enlightening my self with
art and people, a morning walk, music, more art,
a water color painting day . . . and plenty of laughter.
I'm naturally optimistic - always have been, hope I always will be. I try to find something everyday to be positive about x
ReplyDeleteThanks for asking, John. Normally I'm pretty upbeat, but recent upsets have knocked me down a little. The hardest thing was the death of our dog Annie, who had been the heart of our home for 9 of her 12 years. I know it will ease, but I miss her so very much. Lynne
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
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